Your Family Is My Family
by SEALteamsteve
Summary: This is a sequel to my earlier story BROTHER MATT - It has been a horrible few months for the FIVE-0 team. Chin struggles with the death of his beloved wife Malia, Doris McGarrett returns to Steve's life only to disappear again and Danny faces the fact that Gracie may really be leaving Hawaii - but who ever said things can't get worse ? ****** CHARACTER DEATH (not Core 4) ******
1. Chapter 1

******** This is a sequel to an earlier story of mine, 'BROTHER MATT' – there will be a LOT of references to that story and I will briefly explain the past storyline as I move through. I think it's a great story though and if you haven't read it, I hope you'll give it a try ! I'm tying this sequel in with a story idea given to me by SuperSealSteve so THANK YOU for your idea, it should work wonderfully with this sequel !**

**Also - WARNING! This story will include the use AND the abuse of drugs by one of our main characters, so please be forewarned and try to always remember that this is 'fiction' folks. With that said, Happy Reading ! *********

******I do not own Five-0 or any of it's characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

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The male members of the Five-0 team sat anxiously in a surveillance van parked outside the large warehouse. It was a little before noon and they were waiting for the word to move in. They had been working on this case for five weeks with Kono and two HPD Officers going undercover with a drug ring that had been importing cocaine and heroin onto the Island. They had become aware of the new, deadly ring when two High School students ended up overdosing on very potent heroin. Kono was wired up and they were waiting to hear confirmation over the radio that the ring leader Diego Suarez was in the building.

Steve McGarrett hated these moments. He liked to feel in control and this investigation was not his to run, he was following the HPD's lead just like everyone else. Kono was on the inside and he couldn't help but be worried about her. As he looked into the eyes of his partner, he knew Danny shared the same fear for Kono's safety. Her cousin, Chin noticed their looks of concern and he spoke firmly, "Hey knock it off you two. She can handle herself, you know that"

Steve grinned, "Yeah but it doesn't mean I can't worry" He stopped talking, holding up a finger as he listened to the orders coming through his ear piece. He hollered, "GO, GO….IT'S A GO"

The back door of the van flew open and the men along with twenty HPD Officers stormed towards the door of the warehouse. When the first line of Officers was about twenty feet from the door, it blew open as a Hummer vehicle crashed through and barreled towards the men. Half a dozen thugs emerged from behind the Hummer all firing AK47's towards the Officers. Everyone continued to fire as they also looked for shelter from the barrage of bullets coming at them. Steve caught Danny out of the corner of his eye as the blonde detective dove behind a row of crates. As Steve continued to fire he heard it….the sickening, undeniable sound of a bullet hitting flesh. He turned his head just as Danny hollered out "NO CHIN!" and Steve watched in horror as Chin head flew back and his body crashed to the ground.

"COVER ME DANNO!"  
Danny stepped out from behind the crates firing as fast as he could, taking out one, two, three thugs. Steve reached his fallen comrade and without pausing for a second he threw the small Asian man over his shoulder and raced towards the crates as bullets flew all around him.

As he reached safety Danny joined him and together they placed their injured friend onto the ground.  
Chin was struggling to breathe and grasping tightly at his throat. Steve moved quickly tearing open Chin's vest and ripping his t-shirt. He heard the Officers in the distance calling 'all clear' and he hollered to Danny, "Danno, get to the car quick, I need a straw, bottle of water and the first aid kit"

As Danny ran from the scene Steve straddled Chin's chest and tried to pry the man's fingers from his throat. "Chin, Chin…listen to me buddy. Let me see okay? Let me move your hands buddy" Chin's grip loosened under his hands and Steve continued to talk soothingly as he used his fingers to push tightly against the wound, "That a boy, I've got you Chin. You're gonna be alright you hear me? Here comes Danno and I'm going to make it so you can breathe easier okay?"

As he knelt down Danny let Steve know an ambulance was on the way, "Good Danno, Thanks" Chin's breaths came rapidly and the gurgling in his throat terrified his friends. Steve was covered in blood, including on his face and neck from an arterial spray.  
"Danny, I need your knife" As Danny pulled out his switchblade Steve explained to Chin what he was going to do, "Chin, I need you to stay as still as you can for me. I'm going to give you a tracheostomy, it's going to help you breathe brother" He turned to Danny, "Danny, wash your hands then cut the straw to about four or five inches and use the iodine from the first aid kit to sanitize the blade and the straw….but don't waste it partner"

Danny did as instructed and asked, "Okay, okay now what? Tell me what to do Steve"  
"You're doing great Danny. Stay calm brother. I need you to press down over my fingers and when I pull away you clamp down hard alright?"  
"Yeah, got it"  
As Steve pulled away the blood sprayed, "Tighter Danno….that's it babe. You're doing great Chin, we've got you buddy"

Steve pulled Chin's arm's close to his body pinning them with his legs. He then spoke softly to Danny, "I need you to press as hard as can with one hand and with the other you hold his forehead. Push down and keep him still brother"  
Danny nodded his understanding as he positioned himself. Holding Chin's forehead firmly he talked softly, reassuringly to his friend "Superman's going to do his thing now babe, so you just hold on for me…..you're going to be just fine"

Danny glanced at the SEAL who rinsed his hands with the water and then poured iodine on Chin's neck about three inches below the entry wound. Steve then said quietly, "Hold him…now" The first cut into Chin's throat was horrible and the pain was obvious. Danny held him tightly whispering softly into his ear, "You're doing great babe…..relax…...relax"  
Steve tried to block out the loud gurgling and moans coming from the injured man as he cut into the neck again tearing through the tough cartilage surrounding the trachea. It took him four cuts before he got through to the trachea and punctured it. He moved swiftly inserting the straw and packing the wound with gauze to keep the straw in place. The men instantly heard Chin's rapid breathing ease and Danny talked encouragingly, "That's it Chin…..you're in Superman's very capable hands brah….breathe nice and slow now….that's it…..good job, good job...we've got you"

As Steve continued Kono came racing up to the men, "CHIN…OH GOD NO…CHIN!"  
Steve put up a hand to stop her, "KONO….stop baby, stop"  
Danny turned to her, "Can you go see where the ambulance is Kono?"  
She was clearly shaken as she turned and raced off. Steve continued cleaning the wound, placing gauze and tape on Chin's neck. "How are you doing Danny?"

"Me? I'm good…..you?"  
"Yeah, I'm good. You've got a good grip here, the bleeding's slowed. Can you keep it up?"  
"Yeah no problem Steve. He's breathing a lot better. Good job man…..where's that damn ambulance?  
"I'll find out. I'm going to grab a blanket for him. Keep talking to him partner"

As he was grabbing a blanket from the truck Kono came racing to his side, "The ambulance is just a couple of minutes out Steve. Oh God, is he okay?"

The sheer terror was evident in her eyes as she looked at her boss covered in her cousins' blood. Throwing the blanket over his shoulder and not worrying about the blood he pulled her into an embrace, "Come here…..come here" After several seconds he pulled her to arms' length and placed his hands on her cheeks, "He's lost a lot of blood Kono. He was hit in the throat. I had to do a tracheostomy to help him breathe. Let's get back to him okay, you have to stay strong"

Kono wiped a single tear as it slipped from her eye and she nodded, adding "Thanks boss, let's go"  
As Steve covered Chin with the blanket, Kono knelt at his side and took his hand in hers.  
Steve addressed Danny, "How's he doing partner?"  
"His breathing is shallow…..he's unconscious"  
They all heard the arriving ambulance and Danny talked softly to the unconscious man, "Help's here brother…..you hang on Chin"

*********** Much much more to follow – hope you like the beginning ! ************


	2. Chapter 2

In moments the paramedics were there and they had taken over the scene. Duke Lukela came to their side and handed them another bottle of water and some towels and as they watched the care being provided to Chin they washed their bloodied hands and arms. Kono wet a towel and moving to Steve, she wiped her cousin's blood from his face and neck.

Steve asked Duke, "Did we get Suarez?"  
"Yes, he's dead. We killed eight and injured four. We lost two of our own though and three more besides Chin are injured"  
Danny asked, "Who died?"  
"Rey Taketa and Kevin Rogers"  
Danny ran his hand through his hair, "Shit, Rogers has three little kids"  
Duke added, "Yeah, and Taketa just got married two months ago" He looked down at Chin, "How is he doing?"  
Steve didn't hesitate in responding, "He's going to make it"  
"I've got to get back to processing the scene. I'll check in on Chin later"  
Steve nodded, "Thank You Duke"

The paramedics worked with amazing skill and efficiency. Within fifteen minutes of arriving and with the help of Steve and Danny, Chin was lifted onto the stretcher and was being wheeled across the pavement towards the waiting ambulance. Steve spoke as they walked briskly behind the stretcher, "Kono, ride with him. Danny and I will follow you" Glancing into Chin's truck Steve moved over to the Camero. "He left his keys in the truck, I'll follow you" Pulling off their blood soaked vests and tossing them on the floor off the backseat of the Camero, Steve then ran to the truck and followed Danny as the ambulance pulled onto the busy Oahu streets.

Once in the parking lot at the hospital, Steve and Danny grabbed their go-bags from the vehicles and raced inside just as they were wheeling Chin through the doors of the emergency room. Steve put an arm around Kono's shoulder and whispered, "Come on Kono. Let's go to the waiting room"

The three grabbed coffee and sat at a table to wait. One by one they went to the nearby bathroom changing into clean clothes and washing up. They talked little, their thoughts all on their teammate who was fighting for his life.  
Kono spoke softly, "At least we killed Suarez, the filthy son of a bitch"  
Danny grinned, "We chopped the head off the snake"  
Steve added, "From what the intel reports say, that should put the ring out of business. They weren't large enough yet to survive without him"  
Danny leaned back, closing his eyes "I sure hope you're right partner"

They had been waiting for a couple of hours when Steve's phone vibrated with an in-coming text. Glancing at his phone he read,_"I need to see you right away. Don't let ANYONE know and meet me in Room 622 at the Hilton – URGENT – Governor Denning"_

Danny looked at him, "Who's that?"  
"Huh…..uh Duke. He needs to see me"  
"About what?"  
"I don't know. I'll be right back. Call me if there's any news"  
"You want me to come along?"  
"No, no you stay with Kono, gimme your keys though okay"  
"Again, WHY do you always drive MY car"  
"I've told you….I like to drive"  
The men exchanged keys and moving over to Kono, he gave her a hug and kissed her cheek "Hang in there, he'll be fine. I'll be back soon"

As he hurriedly left the room Kono asked, "What's that all about? He seemed nervous"  
"He sure did, didn't he….."

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Steve drove across town with his stomach in knots. What in the hell did the Governor want that entailed this amount of secrecy? He hated leaving Chin. He was so worried that his friend wouldn't make it. He had lost so much blood and he hoped the tracheostomy had helped. But just as much as Chin's physical wounds terrified him he was just as concerned about his mental state. A lot had happened to Five-0 over the last five months since that horrible day when Frank Delano had murdered Malia Kelly. Chin had seemed to be recovering, but he knew better…..Chin seemed good…too good, and it was just too soon for him to be doing this good. Just this past weekend he had gone over to Chin's on Saturday night to check on him. His truck was in the driveway but the house was dark. He rang the bell and knocked but received no answer so using, as Danno would call them, his 'Ninja skills' he had entered the house through a living room window.

He had found Chin sitting on the floor just outside the dining room area staring at a large portrait of his beautiful Malia on the wall. It was taken on their wedding day and she was absolutely stunning.

Chin was stone cold sober and that fact alone had alarmed Steve. He would have understood fully if the man had been in a drunken stupor.  
Chin eventually spoke first, "You know, I could arrest you for breaking and entering"  
Steve snickered, "Guilty as charged. Are you okay?"  
"No Steve…I don't think I'll ever be okay again"  
"You will….it just takes time"  
"But you don't understand my friend…..I don't want to live without her. All those years we wasted not being together…..all those wasted years"

"But you found her again and you had that special love. You were given a second chance"  
"I wasn't ready for it to end Steve….Oh my God why? Why?" The tears fell. They fell as they hadn't since the day of her death. Steve knelt next to Chin and held him for a long time as they both cried for Malia.  
Eventually Chin pulled away, "I'm sorry brah"

"Don't be sorry. I'm here for you, we all are…..you know that. You're not alone Chin. Let us help you. Can you tell me how often you sit here in the dark?"  
He hesitated slightly before responding, "Every night. It's the only way I can sleep….I just look at her. I can't sleep in our room, on our bed…..what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you Chin. You're grieving and like I said, it takes time" He sat there, on the floor with Chin for hours as they talked through the night about loss but more importantly they talked about love and the joys that it brings.

Suddenly out of the blue Chin stated matter-of-factly, "I murdered Delano Steve. He was injured and I chose to kill him instead of bringing him in"  
Without hesitation Steve responded, "I know"  
Chin turned to look at his leader, his face unable to hide his shock "You know?"  
"Yes…..of course I know. How long have we worked together Chin? Three and a half years? I know you very well my friend"

"So you know then that I'm…..I'm a dirty cop"  
"No, no I know that you're a damn good man and a hell of a good cop. You're a man of honor and distinction and I am unbelievably proud to serve with you"

"Thank You Steve….as much as I appreciate your kind words and your support, I crossed that line. I crossed that line that a GOOD cop can never cross and I became not only his Judge and Jury, but his Executioner….and I can't take it back"

"He had killed your wife and you reacted emotionally…as any man would. You are NOT a dirty cop Chin, you KILLED a dirty cop. No one else ever has to know about this, but you're going to have to learn to deal with it because like you said, you can't take it back"  
"I don't know if I can ever learn to live with it Steve"

A few moments passed before Steve said softly, "Richie Gregory…."  
"What? Who's Richie Gregory?"  
"Richie Gregory was a special kid Chin…a really special kid. He was part of my SEAL Unit back in 2008. He was twenty four and had been with us for two years when we undertook a mission in Serbia. Two American diplomats had been kidnapped and we were sent in to rescue them. It was a heavily wooded area and Richie was bringing up the rear after we had stormed the camp and were making our escape. My Operations Officer was out front leading four of our eight member team along with the diplomats. They were about forty feet ahead of me, Richie and Simon Dow who were each about ten feet off to my sides and slightly behind me. It was getting dark and I heard Richie cursing under his breath. I stopped and looked back asking him what was wrong….."

Richie had responded with a hushed voice, "My tags fell"  
"Leave 'em Richie, keep pace"  
"I heard them hit the ground a few feet back Sir"

"Chin, I should have known he'd go back for them. He had a picture of his fiancé attached to that chain and he kissed that picture every night…."  
"So he went back?"  
"Yes….a few seconds later I heard a ruckus behind me. I turned just in time to see Richie's throat being cut and him being tossed to the ground like a fucking ragdoll. Simon ran to Richie and I chased the son-of-a-bitch through the woods. He didn't run far though and a few moments later I was facing him as he stood a few feet ahead of me with his hands in the air. He was surrendering Chin and he had no weapon but all I saw in that moment was Richie's face. His eyes huge with fear as he realized he was dying and that he wasn't going to make it to his wedding day. I moved slowly towards the man and I swear Chin with every step I took my anger grew. Then when I was just a couple of steps from him…..he smiled. He smiled Chin. The bastard had killed Richie in cold blood and he was smiling. I snapped, and in that moment I too crossed that line and became that man's Judge, Jury and Executioner. I plunged my knife into his chest" Steve paused and ran a hand over his face, sighing deeply, "I hit him with such force that I couldn't even pull my knife out. I've never told anybody about this Chin and it's not something I'm proud of, but I've learned to deal with it"

"You're human Steve…"  
Steve interrupted him, "So are you my friend"

Now as Steve pulled into the parking lot of the Hilton he hoped that Chin had the will to fight for his life.  
He took a deep breath and exiting the Camero he walked into the Hilton unaware of how much life was about to change for the entire 5-0 Ohana.

****** I hope you're enjoying, please let me know! Reviews always provide encouragement to continue writing! ******


	3. Chapter 3

Steve stood in front of room 622. He paused for a second and then knocked. The door opened and Governor Denning stood before him just inside the room. "Steve…thanks for coming"  
He stood aside and Steve walked past him. His eyes instantly fell on the three men in the room, all obviously Feds.

Holding his hands out he looked back over his shoulder at Denning, asking "What is this?"  
"Please take a seat Steve"  
Steve's eyes were steely, "No, I'm fine Governor. I've got one of my men fighting for his life across town. What is so important that you pulled me away from him?"

"Matt Williams"  
The name took Steve's breath away and he said softly, "What about him? What's happened to Matt, is he alright?"  
One of the three men responded, "We don't know Commander McGarrett"  
"What do you mean, you don't know? Who in the hell are you?"  
The man extended his hand to Steve, "I'm Spencer Carmichael from WitSec and these are my men Bryan Holbrick and Marty Anderson. I'm sorry to tell you that Matthew Williams has been kidnapped by members of the Ocinco/Cordoba drug cartel"

"Shit...this is because of Robbie isn't it Sam?"  
"I think so…..I don't know how else they could have found him"  
"It was the right thing to do. There was no other choice"  
"I'm not disagreeing with you, but you all knew we were taking a huge risk"  
"After the treatment you assigned extra security to him, so tell me what happened?"

Carmichael spoke next, "Two days ago, Matthew was abducted as he left work. His two member security team was found dead in their car by another employee and we then viewed the abduction on the security camera. Facial recognition identified one of the men as Pedro Ocinco, the son of Felipe Ocinco. We immediately put out an APB on the vehicle they were driving but we've had no luck locating it. Yesterday Sebastian Cordoba phoned FBI Headquarters with his terms"

"You're certain it was Cordoba?"  
"Yes, we ran voice prints, it's him"  
"Okay….so what do they want?"  
"They want you McGarrett"  
"Then take me to them"  
Denning moved closer, "It's not that easy Steve"  
"Seems pretty easy to me Governor…..let's do this"

Denning took a seat on the bed and faced Steve, "We've been discussing some plans on how best to do this…"  
The SEAL interrupted, his steely glare meeting Sam Denning's, "There's only one way to do this Sam"

Steve knew this day would come…..he and Danny BOTH knew this day would come. Now with all that was happening in Danny's life with Gracie…..and now Chin… he knew he had to do this alone, without his parnter. He had to save Matt once again.

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Danny was talking to Rachel in the corner of the waiting room, filling her in on what had happened and on Chin's condition.  
A horrible uneasiness overwhelmed her as she watched him. She could tell from Danny's wild hand movements that he was upset, it was the Italian in him! The last few months had been very hard on Danny as Rachel and Stan prepared for their upcoming move to Nevada. Stan's job was transferring him and the thought of being away from his daughter weighed heavily on the Jersey detective. Danny had decided to fight his ex for physical custody and their conversations had become infrequent and quite contentious. He hung up the phone and rejoined Kono who had brought him a fresh cup of coffee.

He smiled at her as he sat and picked up the steaming java, "Thank you"  
"You're welcome. Do you want to talk about it Danny?"  
"There's not much to say. Every incident Kono…..every incident gives Rachel more ammunition against me. Maybe she's right. It could just as easily been me, or any one of us, to take that bullet. And two good cops are dead….is this the life I want for Gracie? Am I being fair to her?"

Kono reached over and took his hand into his, "You're a cop Danny. You were a cop when Rachel married you. How can she pretend like these dangers are new…they haven't changed"  
"You're right, the dangers haven't changed but the consequences of the dangers have increased. If something happens to me now….it's not about just me anymore Kono" He looked at the clock up on the wall and added, "What time did Steve leave?"

"About an hour ago. He'll be back soon"  
"I hope so. I think I'll call him" Danny dialed Steve cell, sighing as the call rolled straight to voicemail.  
"No answer?"  
**"**I'm not liking this Kono….something doesn't feel right"

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Back in the hotel room Steve had sat quietly for several minutes collecting his thoughts. He remembered everything like it was yesterday. When Matt had taken off from that little airport two and a half years ago it was thought that Danny would never see his brother again. Then a little more than a year later Matty called…..he had gotten himself into gambling trouble and was deep in debt, half-a-million dollars deep, with the vicious Ocinco drug cartel out of Columbia. He could still remember the physical pain he had endured as he had come close to dying while saving Matt. His physical pain was nothing though…..nothing compared to the emotional pain that Danny had endured. Danny had suffered severe guilt after allowing Matt to leave the country and when he returned with a bounty on his head, all those terrible wounds were re-opened. In the process of keeping Matt alive, Steve had killed Ocinco's nephew, Freddy and Danny had killed his cousin, David Rojas. Matt's testimony had put Felipe Ocinco behind bars for life and Steve was able to pull enough strings to get Matt into the Witness Protection Program and he was relocated to Washington State under an alias. But know they all had bounties on their heads. Sebastian Cordoba had been Ocinco's number one Lieutenant. He was another cousin of Ocinco….and unfortunately even more evil and power hungry than Ocinco.

The only communication Matt had maintained with his family was a monthly letter that would come from his alias 'Sam Turner' to Steve. Then three months ago Robbie became ill and everything changed. Robbie is Danny and Matt's nephew, their sister Tracey's oldest son. At eleven years old he was diagnosed with leukemia and upon testing all family members, Uncle Matt was determined to be the best match for a bone marrow transplant. NOBODY had hesitated at all in deciding that the risks did not matter, they had to do everything possible to save the child's life. A Jersey based WitSec Agent had flown Tracey and Robbie to Washington State and the bone marrow transplant had been performed. It appeared to have been a success as Robbie's health had rebounded and he was currently in remission. The risks they had taken had been worth it…no matter what happened now, as long as Robbie lived, the risks had been worth it.

They had known that Cordoba had been rebuilding the cartel and now the time for vengeance had apparently arrived. Steve would do whatever he needed to do to find Matt Williams, to rescue him and to bring him back to his family.

Steve turned to Governor Denning, "So tell me Sam, what are Cordoba's terms"  
"He wants you, Danny and the 500K…...that's it"  
"No plane or chopper….no escape route?"  
"No ...nothing else"  
"Where am I supposed to be, and when?"  
"At the northern entrance of Mt. Baker National Forest tomorrow morning at ten. The area is in Northern Washington meaning the Canadian border is probably their escape route. I don't like this McGarrett. Why did they go after Matt first? He had more protection, wouldn't it have been smarter to come after you two first?"

"These guys are smart….they knew taking us first wouldn't work. The government wouldn't give up Matt, not to save our lives. They knew by grabbing Matt first, we would cooperate"

"We need to move quick Steve. I wanted to talk to you before pulling Danny in"  
"You're NOT going to pull Danny in"  
"Are you sure about this? Cordoba was firm on his terms"  
"I'm very sure about this. They're going to have to settle for me, they're not getting Danny. Do you have the money ready?"  
"Yes, but I don't think sending you in alone the best way to do this"  
"Governor, it's the only way it's going to be done"  
"And how do you figure you're going to pull this off alone? These guys are brutal Steve"  
Steve sighed before continuing, "Danny's going through some tough times right now. I don't want him to know anything about this until I have Matt safe. Do you understand me Governor?"

"And how am I supposed to keep this from him?"  
"I need your help. It's not going to be easy, and he may never forgive me…..but it's the only way"

******** I hope you all are enjoying the story so far. Hopefully the information I provided in this chapter is enough to help you understand where I'm going with this - please let me know what you think and feel free to check out Brother Matt for more back story ! ********


	4. Chapter 4

********* I promise there are reasons I am taking the story down this path…please hang in there with me and remember, I adore these characters and will always try to do them justice **********

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Steve stood and moved out onto the balcony of the room overlooking the beautiful Pacific Ocean.  
Sam Denning followed and sat in a chair next to him. After several minutes of silence Steve spoke, "He needs to think I'm dead….they all do"  
"What? What are you talking about….why?"

"I can't just go away…I can't have Danny searching for me. He needs to think I'm dead. He could be in danger Sam, he needs to be protected. For all we know the cartel could already be here as well"  
"I'll see to it that he's kept safe. I'll have agents keep all three of your team under surveillance"  
"Rachel and Gracie too"  
"Yes, of course. I'll also see to it that the Jersey Police are watching the Williams' family"

"Thank You Sam. When I came to meet you, I told him I was going to meet Duke Lukela. It won't take him long to figure out that I lied to him. Can I use a government plane to leave Hawaii?"  
"Yes"  
"Okay Governor, this is what the story needs to be. You contacted me about a hot lead on Wo-Fat and you agreed to let me go after him on my own. You gave me access to one of your planes. The plane went down, and I did not survive"

"Are you certain you want to do this?"  
"I'm absolutely sure. Danny is going through a custody battle right now….involving him in this could effect that case. He's under great stress right now and knowing Matt's in danger would only make things worse. And now Chin…"

"How is Kelly doing?"  
"He's still in surgery. He lost a lot of blood"  
"Do you mind if I give you my opinion"  
"I don't mind at all…it doesn't mean I'll change my mind though"  
Sam Denning grinned at the stubborn SEAL, "I think you're making a horrible mistake. You know how William's will respond to this. Your entire team will be devastated at the thought of your death. They may never forgive you"

"I know…..but sometimes Governor you have to do what you think is right no matter what the consequences may be"  
Denning added, "Carmichael has been working with the CIA and we will have agents following you once you're in the hands of the cartel"

"No, that's not a good idea. If the agents are spotted the cartel may just kill Matt. I don't want to take that risk, it has to be just me. I'm a trained SEAL Sam. Let's just say on a mission like this, I'd be better off alone"

"I certainly don't doubt your skills Steve and if you really think this is the way things need to be done, then I trust you"  
Steve motioned with his eyes towards the room. "Are we going to have problems with them?"  
Governor Denning pulled out his phone, "Before I make this call Steve, are you sure about this?"  
"Governor, I appreciate your concern. You said you trust me…yes, I am 100% positive that our best chance of getting Matt Williams out of there alive is if I go in myself"

Governor Denning then phoned his contact at the Department of Justice. He was on the phone for almost half an hour before hanging up and turning to Steve. "It's a go. He wanted me to make sure you knew that by making this choice, DOJ washes their hands on this. If anything happens to you or Matt they will deny any knowledge of your mission"  
"I understand sir"

The men moved into the hotel room and Governor Denning gave the WitSec agents the news that they were now officially off the case.  
Carmichael looked at Steve, "You're crazy McGarrett…..you can't take on this cartel alone….you're committing suicide and you're signing Williams' death warrant"

Steve gave Carmichael what Danno called the _'Navy SEAL death stare' _as he responded firmly, "Carmichael, with all due respect you don't know anything about me or what I'm capable of. It seems to me like your men didn't do their job in protecting Matt and now it's up to me to clean up this mess. So please….stay out of my way"

Carmichael and Steve stood silently for several seconds, staring at each other, neither man even blinking.  
Governor Denning stepped close to the men and spoke steadily, "The decision has been made. McGarrett will go in alone. The CIA backup teams are being told to stand down. Carmichael, when you and your men get back to the States, report to your supervisors for your next assignments. I thank you for bringing us the information and for all you have done for Matthew Williams. Now please leave the file with us. You can leave now and we'll take it from here"

Carmichael took a file from his briefcase and handed it to Steve. He extended his hand stating, "Good luck McGarrett"  
"Thank You" After shaking hands the WitSec agents left the room as Steve thumbed through the thick file on Cordoba.  
After several minutes Denning asked, "Do you need to get anything from your home before we leave?"  
"Yes, I want to put a bag together. We should hurry"  
As they were leaving the Hilton, Steve's cellphone rang and noticing it was Danny he reluctantly hit the ignore button.

**505050505050505050505050**

Governor Denning followed Steve to his home and waited while the SEAL ran upstairs. He loaded his duffel bag with his cellphone, guns, ammo, knives, water bottles, beef jerky, peanut butter and first aid supplies.  
Returning downstairs, Denning asked "So McGarrett, what are your plans?"  
"My plans Governor are to get to Matt and take care of the scum that are holding him"  
"You make it sound simple"  
"It's not simple but it is what it is... I'll do whatever I have to do to save him. Once we're out, I'll contact you for extraction"

"My pilot has your plane ready at Dillingham Airfield"  
"Thank you for everything Governor, I'll return the favor somehow"  
"You can return the favor by getting back here safely. You're needed on this Island Steve"  
Shaking the Governor's hand Steve stated confidently, "I'll be back Sir. Governor, before we leave…..will you call Danny and see if there's any update on Chin?"

Danny answered the Governors' call on the first ring.  
"Governor Denning"  
"William's, I wanted to see if you had any update on Kelly's condition?"  
"Uh, no…..he's still in surgery. Governor…have you heard from McGarrett in the last couple of hours?"  
Denning hesitated ever so slightly before responding, "McGarrett? No…..why?"  
"Nothing. I'm sure he'll be back soon"  
"Danny, will you please contact me once Chin's out of surgery?"  
"Yes…..I will"  
"Thank You"  
Hanging up he turned back to Steve, "Nothing yet. Your partner's worried about you"  
Steve grinned adding quietly, "Danny worries too much…let's go"  
Leaving Danny's keys on the kitchen counter and the Camero in the driveway, Steve McGarrett entered Governor Denning's vehicle and they drove towards the Airfield.

**505050505050505050505050**

Back at the hospital, Danny was angry. He had tried Steve's cell several times and his partner wasn't answering his calls.  
Kono looked at him, "Danny, what is it?"  
"Where in the hell is he Kono?"  
"Why don't you call Duke?"  
As he pulled out his phone he added, "I don't like checking up on him, but it's just not like him to not be here….Duke, hey it's Danny, can I talk to Steve for a minute?"

"Steve? He's not here Danny? Isn't he at the hospital with Chin?"  
"Duke can you tell me when you talked to him last?"  
"At the crime scene brother, a couple of hours ago….with you. Danny? What's wrong?"  
"I'm not sure, nothing….nothing….I'm sure it's nothing. He took a call about two hours ago and he left. He was acting a little nervous and he said it was you calling and you needed to see him"

"It wasn't me. Do you want me to look for him?"  
"He'll never let me hear the end of it, but yeah….I just have a gut feeling Duke, something's not right"  
"I'll stay in touch Danny"  
"I'll do the same, thanks"

He looked at Kono, "Something's not right. It wasn't Duke who called him"  
"What? Why would he lie to us?"  
"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know"  
"You need to go find him Danny"  
"No, I need to be right here and you know it" his voice lowered as he added, "Steve will be alright"

Half an hour later Duke called back to let Danny know that they had found your car in his driveway. As he hung up the phone, Kono saw the concern in his eyes, "Danny, what is it?"  
"My car and my keys are at his house. Kono, there's no sign of him. Duke says there are no signs of a struggle….what in the hell is happening, where is he?"

******** Much more to follow – hope you're enjoying *******  
**


	5. Chapter 5

Steve looked down over Oahu as the plane slowly gained altitude. He picked up the file from WitSec and began to read what they had on Cordoba. His mind drifted…to Chin…..to Danny. God he hoped he was doing the right thing.

Back at the hospital the Doctor finally entered the waiting room, "Kelly family?"  
Danny and Kono took hold of each others' hands as they moved towards the Doctor, "Yes, that's us Doctor"  
After shaking the anxious duo's hand and introducing himself, Doctor Ikaea Matasino smiled as he delivered the news, "Mr. Kelly is going to be fine"

Danny placed an arm around Kono, pulling her close as she said softly, "Oh thank God…thank God"  
The Doctor explained, "Most of the damage was arterial and that's what took the most time to stitch. The bullet nicked the trachea and that had allowed blood to enter his lungs. Performing the tracheostomy on site saved his life. Were you the one who performed such skilled work Mr. Williams?"

"No, that would be our boss Doctor Matasino, he's an ex-Navy SEAL"  
"Well that explains a lot, SEALS are very skilled with field medicine. I hope I get a chance to meet him. Now, Mr. Kelly will be in the ICU until tomorrow morning then he'll be moved to his own room"  
Danny asked, "How long will he be laid up Doc?"  
"He'll be our guest for at least a few days. He lost a lot of blood and I expect him to sleep a lot the first two to three days but then we should see improvement"  
Kono spoke softly, "Thank you so much Doctor. Can I see him tonight?"  
"I can let one of you see him. I'll send the Nurse to get you once he's settled in the ICU"

After shaking hands and exchanging thanks again, the Doctor excused himself and Danny pulled Kono into a warm embrace.  
She whimpered slightly as she was overwhelmed with relief. Danny spoke to her reassuringly, "He's going to be fine Kono. You heard the Doctor, he's going to be fine"

"I know, I know…I'm relieved about Chin….but I'm scared for Steve…" She pulled from Danny's grasp and placed her hands on his face, "I'll stay with Chin, Danny…..go find him. Please find him"  
Danny kissed her forehead, "I'll find him. You call me if anything changes or you need me"  
"I will"

Danny turned and left the hospital. He figured he had about an hour left of daylight….._'God Steve, where are you?' _He entered Chin's truck and as he dialed Governor Denning he drove from the parking lot.

**505050505050505050505050**

Steve continued to read through the file on Cordoba. From the research the CIA had done, Sebastian Cordoba had arrived in Washington two weeks ago along with five others from Columbia. Three of the men were related to Cordoba, Pedro Ocinco was the twenty one year old son of Felipe Ocinco and two were Cordoba's son's Daniel and Mateo. The other two men were the ones that Steve would have to worry about the most….Bruno Alvarez and Roberto Moreno. These two were henchmen for the organization. According to Columbian Police reports those two men alone were responsible for hundreds of deaths.

He had received a text from Governor Denning a short time ago letting him know that Chin had made it through surgery and that he was expected to recover fully. He grinned and then placing his seat back he closed his eyes as he thought through his plan. As much as he worried about Chin, Kono and Danny right now he had to put them out of his head. It was game time and he needed to focus.

**505050505050505050505050**

Danny's first stop was 5-0 Headquarters. His heart sank as he pulled in and parked next to Steve's truck.  
According to Duke, the Camero was at McGarrett's house. Danny looked into the vehicles windows, noting that nothing appeared to be out of place. He raced up into the office, hoping and praying that he would find his partner sitting behind his desk. As he bolted up the stairs two at a time he quietly said over and over again, "Be there Steve…please be there"

But of course…..he was not. Danny grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler in Steve's office and sat at his desk.  
As he slammed the water he tried to think…..and his frustration grew. Steve would NEVER have left the hospital with Chin's life hanging in the balance, not unless he HAD to. His gut hurt, and his head throbbed. He was worried, truly worried about Steve and he didn't know where to even start looking for him.

His eyes scoured Steve's desk looking for something, ANYTHING that would give him a clue but he saw nothing out of place. He again tried his partner's cell phone, with no success.

He called Duke but unfortunately HPD had found nothing either, "Danny, it's only been a few hours. You need to stay calm, there are NO signs of foul play"  
"He's missing Duke"  
"Danny, we don't know that"  
"Yes…..I DO KNOW that. Steve wouldn't go off with Chin in surgery, not like this….something is wrong, very wrong"  
"Danny, I have an APB out on him. Everyone is looking for him but we don't even know how he is traveling? What vehicle is he using?"  
"I'm sorry Duke. I know you're doing everything you can. Please let me know if anything turns up"  
"You as well my friend. We'll find him"

Danny left 5-0 Headquarters and he drove. He drove endlessly, his mind swimming with horrible thoughts every time his calls rolled to voicemail. He stopped at Kamekono's house at about midnight.  
"Hey Jersey, you stopping in for a beer?"  
"No, umm hey have you heard anything about McGarrett?"

Kamekono stepped back allowing Danny to enter the house, "McGarrett? What about him?"  
"He's disappeared, have you heard any talk at all about anyone…..anyone out to get him?"  
"No brah. I hear anything like that you'd be the first to know. How long has he been missing?"  
"A few hours, but something's not right?"  
"Hey he's a big boy, he can take care of himself"  
"I know…."  
"How's Chin Ho doin?"

"Good, good….he's going to be just fine. So you keep your ears open and call me if you hear anything, anything at all okay?"  
"You know I will. I love that boy too ya know"  
Shaking the big man's hand Danny thanked him and them again he continued to drive. At a little after one in the morning he drove to Steve's house.

He parked next to his Camero and after glancing into the locked vehicle he made his way inside. The house was dark and horribly quiet. He hollered Steve's name several times as he went through the house, just in case the SEAL was home and sleeping. Oh how he would have loved a lecture at that moment on entering without knocking. He sighed deeply and was making his way back down the steps when his phone rang.  
"Hi Kono, how's Chin? Is everything okay?"  
"Yes, he's resting quietly. They've decided to keep him sedated until tomorrow afternoon. I gave them my number to call me if there are any changes. Have you had any luck?"

"No…everyone's looking for him though. I just got to his house. Duke was right, there's nothing out of place. Why don't you just head home and get some sleep. We can start fresh in the morning"  
"I'm not going to able to rest either. I'm going to grab a cab, I'll be there in a bit"  
"Sounds good. I could use the company"

Danny hung up and went down to check the beach, knowing he was grasping at straws.  
When Kono arrived she found him back inside, searching Steve's desk. "Hey, anything?"  
"No, this just isn't like him Kono"  
"I know Danny"  
They spent the next couple of hours searching his den and bedroom before deciding they should at least try to sleep. Kono went into the spare bedroom and Danny curled up on the couch, both unaware of the deception they would face in a few short hours. A deception that would bring them unthinkable pain and torment.

**505050505050505050505050**

Steve was able to sleep for a bit and once the plane landed he caught a cab taking it to the entry of the forest. He had three hours before the expected meeting. Not wanting to waste any time he first found a location a couple of hundred feet into the woods where he could hide his duffel bag. He took out a smaller bag which held the money and the one item he felt he may need, a bobby pin. Hoping it would not be found when he was searched, he placed the bobby pin deep into the back pocket of his cargo pants before burying the duffel bag inside a rotting tree and covering it with braches. He then scoped out the area, checking the types of wood and rock that surrounded him. He was pleased to also find a type of green vine that was very sturdy and would probably come in handy. Steve McGarrett then dropped to his knees and prayed as he did before any mission. But he did not pray for himself, he prayed to God that no matter what happened to him he would have the strength to endure and that he would be able to rescue Matt. And he prayed for his Ohana back in Hawaii, he prayed for Chin's health and he prayed that Danny would be able to forgive him for what he had done. He then stood, took in a deep breath and walked towards his destiny.

An hour later Steve stood and watched as four heavily armed men came towards him from the woods.

********* Much more to follow – let me know what you think **********


	6. Chapter 6

********* Please be forewarned that this chapter involves the 'death' of Steve McGarrett and is emotional **********

**50505050505050505050505050**

The call woke Danny at a little after nine in the morning. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he took a deep breath and answered, "Governor, this is Williams"

"Danny, I need you come to my office right away please"  
"Can I ask what this is about Governor?" The hesitation in Denning's voice spoke volumes and Danny asked firmly, "Is this about Steve?"  
"Yes"  
"Where is he? Is he alright?"

The tension in Danny's voice was palpable and the Governor spoke softly, "Danny, last night when you asked me if I had heard from Steve, I was not honest with you. I had received information on the whereabouts of Wo-Fat"

Danny jumped in, "Did he take off to Japan again? You let him go alone?"  
"Danny, please listen. I did give Steve access to one of my planes and a pilot. Danny….the plane went down"  
Danny felt the air suck from his lungs. It felt like he had been punched in the gut as he heard the Governor's next words, _"I'm sorry but there were no survivors"_

Danny was dizzy and light headed as those horrific words processed through his brain, "What? What are you saying?"  
"Danny, I'm sorry…he's gone….he's gone"  
"Oh my God no….oh my God"  
"Danny, is there anything I can do for you? Should I contact Kono?"  
"No, no…Kono's here"  
"Can I help you in any way?"  
"No….I'll call you later….." Without speaking another word, Danny hung up his phone.

'_Steve was dead…..oh God, Steve was dead' _The words echoed in his head. He had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real, not Steve, not Superman…..he had to get out of there. Racing from the couch, he grabbed his car keys and ran outside. Opening the front door of the Camero he was immediately brought to his knees by the stench coming from the car. The horrible, coppery smell of blood. He had forgotten their flak jackets in the back seat and the heat of the Hawaiian day yesterday had made the aroma overwhelming. He staggered to his feet and stumbled a few feet to the nearby yard where he again dropped to his knees, vomiting uncontrollably. It wasn't long before his stomach was empty but the heaving continued and as it eventually subsided Danny let out a cry of utter anguish. He screamed, he cursed and he cried for he had lost someone who was so dear to him. He cried for the loss of this special man. He cried for Kono, Chin, MaryAnn, Doris, Joe and Catherine….everyone who loved Steve….Gracie, oh God how was he going to tell Gracie that her SuperSEAL was gone…..dead. He lay down onto the grass, still slightly damp from the morning dew. He was curled into a fetal position as he sobbed, his stomach and head aching.

He wasn't sure how long he had been there, when he heard the soft, shaky voice coming from a few feet away, "Danny…"  
The fear in her voice pulled him back to the present and he quickly pulled himself to his feet. He ran his hand across his tear-streaked cheeks, his eyes red and puffy from crying. "Kono…."

She knew. She saw it in his eyes, the loss was so apparent. She felt her knees buckling under her and Danny lunged forward grabbing her as she fell into his arms.

"Kono, Kono….I've got you" Holding her tightly he eased them both down onto their knees.  
She pulled her face from his shoulder and looked into his pained, empty eyes, "Danny….."  
His voice cracked with raw emotion as he answered through his tears, "He's gone….oh God Kono, he's …..gg..ggone"

"Nnnoo…nno Danny….please….nnno"  
Danny held her to his chest and they both sobbed uncontrollably, comforting each other. They sat like this for more than half an hour before Kono said softly, "How Danny? What hhaappened?"

"It was a plane crash" Danny explained what Governor Denning had told him, adding, "I was quite shocked when he called...I still am. I didn't ask a lot of questions. I'll call Denning later" Keeping an arm tightly around her he stated, "You're shivering honey, let's go inside"  
They stood and still clinging to each other they made their way back into the house….Steve's house…

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny guided Kono, who was clearly in shock, over to the couch and he covered her with blankets. "Let me get us something warm to drink Kono, do you want coffee or hot chocolate?"  
"Umm, coffee Danny…cream and sugar, thank you"  
"You're welcome" He leaned over and kissed her forehead before moving into the kitchen.

As the coffee brewed he moved onto the deck. Looking out over the Ocean that his partner loved so much brought a new wave of tears. His elbows rested on the deck rail, his hands wrapped around his head. His body shook as tears wracked his body and he whimpered softly, "Oh God, why Steve….why did you go alone..." After several minutes Danny stood upright and took a deep breath. He said softly to himself, "Get ahold of yourself Williams' you need to stay strong"

Moments later he was back at Kono's side handing her a cup of steaming coffee, "Here you go sweetheart"  
She took the coffee into her still shaking hands and he quickly pulled the cup back from her, "How about we let it cool down a bit first?"  
"Danny…are you sure about this? Could Denning be wrong?"  
"He wouldn't have told me if he wasn't sure but I do have questions for him" Sitting next to Kono, Danny pulled out his cellphone and dialed the Governor.

He took hold of her hand as the phone rang, "Governor Denning"  
"Governor, this is Danny Williams"  
"Hello Danny, how are you?"  
"Not good Sir. I'm having a hard time believing this is really happening"  
"I understand fully. Steve is one of the finest men I've ever known" A soft smile crossed Danny's face as he heard the Governor speak of Steve in the present tense. He knew this couldn't be easy on him either.

"Governor, I've got some questions. Do you have a few minutes?"  
"Of course"  
"Where did the plane go down and who was on board?"

"Only Steve and my pilot were on board. A fishing boat about three hundred miles off the coast of Japan heard a loud pop and saw smoke coming from the plane's engine. It went into an immediate tailspin and crashed into the Ocean at a high rate of speed. The men on the boat saw the plane break up as it hit the water. They were a few miles away but they saw parts flying. They're stating no one could have survived that impact. They made their way to the approximate area the plane hit and the Japanese Coast Guard searched but found nothing. They are continuing to search with divers but so far they've come up empty"

"Could he have gotten out before the crash, parachuted?"  
"From what I've heard, there was no time to eject"  
"I need to go aid in the search. Are you sending any men out there?"  
"Danny until they can narrow the search grid I don't think that's a good idea"  
"I need….I need to make sure he gets home... Governor…he needs to get home"  
"We'll see to it Danny. One way or another, Steve will get home"  
"And they're certain….."  
"As certain as they can be without a body. I'm so sorry Danny, I hate saying these things. Where is his Mother?"

"Good question. We haven't been able to locate her since she 'supposedly' left the Island three weeks ago. I'll talk to Joe and see if he can help us locate her. I hadn't really thought about any of this yet, but until we reach his Mother I think we should keep this out of the news"

"What about his sister?"  
"I think we should find Doris first. Steve hadn't even told her yet that their Mom is alive... I'll take care of this Governor"

"Danny, I don't want any of you to worry about your jobs and the Task Force. I want the three of you to take whatever time you need. As long as you want to continue the Task Force, we will do so when you're all ready"

"Thank you for your support Governor and I'll let the others know. Please call me if you get any additional info"  
"Will do Danny. Hang in there"  
Danny hung up the phone and turned to talk to Kono. It was going to be a horribly long and difficult few days….

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve lifted his hands showing he was unarmed as the two henchmen stepped towards him.  
Cordoba asked, "Where in the hell is Williams?"

Steve grinned, "Sorry, he had other plans and couldn't make it. He sends his love though"  
That response earned the SEAL a blow to the back of the head from Alvarez's AK47. Steve fell to the ground but instantly he pulled himself to his knees. After a quick shake of his head to clear the cobwebs he jumped to his feet saying "Is that the best you've got big guy?"

Taking Steve's bait, Alvarez made a motion towards him but Cordoba hollered for him to stop, "Don't worry Bruno, you'll get plenty of 'play time' with Commander McGarrett" He motioned to the bag next to Steve, "Is that my money?"  
"Yes"  
Moreno picked up the bag and opened it. After closing it and tossing it to Cordoba he turned and shoved Steve towards a nearby tree, hollering at him, "Spread 'em"

Steve did as he was told and Moreno frisked him. As his hands moved up between Steve's legs he made the mistake of reaching up and grabbing Steve's crotch. Quickly throwing an elbow back Steve caught the large man square in the jaw. As he staggered back, Steve struck him with a karate kick to the chest knocking him back onto the ground. As Steve's feet hit the ground he was met with a blow to the midsection from Alvarez. As his knees buckled Alvarez's AK47 came crashing down onto the side of his head knocking him unconscious.

Cordoba was furious with Moreno, "It's your fault he can't walk…..so you carry him"  
Throwing Steve over his shoulder the men began their trek into the forest.

*********** Well ? Let me know what you think – lots more to come….. thanks for reading, and as always, reviews are greatly appreciated ************


	7. Chapter 7

****** Sorry for the delay in posting, I have been very busy at work and with Thanksgiving - Thanks for reading ! ******

When Steve came to he was naked and handcuffed to metal fencing. His arms were spread outward at shoulder-length. His feet were touching the ground, his legs spread slightly and his ankles were bound by rope to the fencing. There was also rope draped through the links and wrapped tightly around his midsection hindering his movement.

He felt blood trickling down the side of his head where he had taken a nasty hit from the butt of the gun. His head throbbed and his vision was blurry. He figured he probably had a concussion. As his vision began to clear he looked around the small, dimly lit room where he was being held. The entire room was made of concrete. Off to his left were stairs, a dozen or so….he could hear the muffled voices coming from behind the half opened door at the top of the stairs. His attention was drawn to his right as a whispered voice called to him, "Steve….Steve"

He turned and at the sight of an apparently healthy Matt, he smiled, "Hey Matthew, I'd say it's good to see you but…"  
Matt chuckled nervously, "I know what you mean. Where's Danny?"  
"I came alone"  
"What?"  
"Listen Matt, you have to trust me okay? I chose not to tell Danny about this….he's…."  
"He's what? What in the hell is wrong with my brother?"  
Steve hushed the now tense young man, "Matthew! Keep it down….Danny's fine. Stan is being transferred to Nevada and there's a good chance that Gracie is leaving Hawaii"  
"Oh shit. Well….Danny's not 'fine' then is he!"

"And that's why he's not here Matt! I had to make a decision fast and I know that he might never forgive me for leaving him out of this but it's a chance I have to take. Your brother won't admit it yet, but he's leaving Hawaii. He'll follow that little girl anywhere and hell if I'm going to risk his life by bringing him here. Gracie needs him just as much as he needs her"

Matt looked at the SEAL, glad to see that nothing had changed since he last saw him. He saw anger and determination in Steve's eyes. The same steely resolve he saw in those eyes eighteen months ago when he had showed up in Hawaii scared out his ever-loving mind with the Ocinco organization hot on his heels. He had watched in utter amazement as Steve had single handedly taken out member after member of this brutal drug cartel. Even back then they had figured the cartel would be back to exact revenge, but he sure felt a lot better now that McGarrett was here….God that sounded so selfish…

His thoughts were interrupted as Steve asked, "Matt…..Matt!"  
He responded in a hushed voice, "Yeah, yeah….."  
"Matt, have they hurt you?"  
"No. They haven't hurt me at all"  
"Good, that's real good. Now help me out here. How many men have you seen?"  
Matt closed his eyes as he thought, "Umm, six"  
"Okay, good that's what I expected" Matt was sitting on a chair a few feet from him as he added, "Matt, how are you restrained?"  
"Just my hands. They're tied with ropes. I've been working on loosening them"  
"Any luck?"  
"A little bit"  
They heard a commotion coming from their left as the door opened. Steve added, "Keep trying to get loose and keep your mouth shut"

**505050505050505050505050**

They drove to the hospital in silence, wiping their eyes and cheeks as tears still fell. They didn't expect Chin to be awake for several hours but they needed to be with him…to be with family.

Kono stared straight ahead as she spoke softly, "How are we going to tell him Danny?"  
Danny responded haltingly, "Chin…and Gracie…...Doris, Joe…..MaryAnn"  
"Oh God Danny…..Catherine. We have to call her"

Danny ran his hand across his face before responding quietly, "Not yet Kono. Like I told the Governor I think we need to find Doris first"  
They again became silent as they thought of Steve and Catherine. Things had been pretty tense since Doris McGarrett had reappeared in her son's life. Her return had also happened to coincide with the decommissioning of the USS Enterprise resulting in Catherine's temporary return to the Island.

Then Kono asked, "Danny….what happened between them"  
"What?"  
"Steve and Catherine. I tried to ask him about a week after she left and he just clammed up so I didn't push him. But I know you…..and you would have pushed him for answers"

Danny smirked, "Yeah we talked…it was just too much for him Kono. His Mom….showing up and then just choosing to fucking disappear again. Catherine didn't do anything wrong Kono, she just wanted to protect him"  
"We all wanted to protect him but what did she do?"

"She was very angry at Doris for showing up the way she did, for messing with Steve's head. But you know McGarrett and his response to her was the same he was giving all of us, that he was 'okay'. Steve told me that Cath wanted him to push Doris harder for answers and that they had a pretty bad fight about it. She told him she wouldn't stand by and watch his Mom destroy him again. She left with the understanding that Steve would call her once he figured things out with his Mom. Then three days after she left, Doris disappeared again"

"Does Cath know Doris is gone again?"  
"No. Steve was so confused Kono. He loved his Mom but he felt so horribly betrayed. And Catherine…..he loved her dearly but he just wasn't ready to close the door on his Mom. He felt horrible when Catherine left but he understood why she did"

"And now…..he's dead….he's dead and they last words they spoke to each other were words of anger"  
"I know, God I know….." Danny reached over and the two held hands as they drew near the hospital.

**505050505050505050505050**

"Well look who's awake here. Have you two been catching up on lost time?"  
Steve smirked, snidely responding "Yes, Thanks for asking. Matt and I are just trying to figure out which one of you low-life's we should off first" Steve's stone cold glare met that of Sebastian Cordoba as he added, "We've decided that it's going to be you"

"You talk tough McGarrett…..for now. Bit you see, my men and me, we've been talking too. Matthew here, he made a mistake. You returning the half million dollars corrects his mistake but he needs to learn a lesson that he will never forget. That way he'll never make the same mistake again. You on the other hand, you killed Freddy and your partner killed my cousin. Those are not 'mistakes' and since Detective Williams is not here to share in the punishment, it's all yours" With that Cordoba backed away and the two monstrous thugs Alvarez and Moreno moved forward and began pummeling Steve with punches to his head, face, chest and abdomen. They continued steadily for three to four minutes stopping only occasionally to shake the pain from their hands.

Matt watched, wincing with every blow to the SEALS body. He cringed every time Steve's head bounced back from the fencing.  
He took every hit without reacting until finally Matt could stay quiet no longer, "CORDOBA, STOP THEM….PLEASE STOP THEM! THEY'RE KILLING HIM!"

Sebastian Cordoba grabbed Matt's hair pulling his head back as he answered coldly, "That's the point Matthew"  
Releasing his grasp on Matt he called out, "That's enough boys! We want to make sure McGarrett isn't hurt too bad….not yet anyway"  
The laughter of the men nauseated Matt and he watched in disgust as they all made their way up the stairs slamming the door closed behind them.

Matt was shocked as Steve spoke, the pain in his voice evident, "Maatt"  
"Yeah Steve…..you alright?"  
"Sure…..I've taken worssse" Steve spit through his swollen and cut lips as his mouth filled with blood. "Shit, I lost a fuckin' ttooth"  
"You don't look very good buddy"  
"Don't wworry 'boutt me…how are your hand's coming?"  
"Still working on them Steve"  
"Keep at it…..MMaatt"

Matt watched as Steve's eyes closed. His face looked horrible. One eye was already swollen shut and there was a deep, bloody gash across the eyebrow. The gash was caused by a ring worn by Moreno which had also opened up a cut across his cheekbone and his nose was also bleeding. Bruises covered his right side, chest and sternum. No matter how tough the man was…he had to be hurting like hell.

Matt didn't have a clue what Steve was planning but he knew he had to free himself or they would both be in trouble…

******** Hope you're still enjoying ! *********


	8. Chapter 8

********* I am repeating my opening disclaimer going into this chapter **********

**WARNING! The remainder of this story will include the use AND the abuse of drugs by one of our main characters, so please be forewarned and try to always remember that this is 'fiction' folks. With that said, Happy Reading !**

**I have very little (and thankfully no personal experience) with drug use. Please forgive any errors I make and I will attempt to be as accurate as possible in my descriptions. **********

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Steve was quiet for quite a while and Matt continued to work on loosening the ropes that bound him. He could feel blood on his wrists but thankfully they were numb and not too sore. Matt would be the first person to admit that he did not have a very high tolerance for pain. About an hour passed before he heard Steve moan softly.

"Steve…Steve….wake up man"  
"Yeah Matt, I'm with ya. How long was I out?"  
"About an hour I think. You okay?"  
"How do I look?"  
"Like hell"  
Steve chuckled, "I'm fine. I think I have a concussion…..so make sure I don't sleep too much okay?"  
"Okay…sure. What are we going to do Steve? How are we going to get out of here?"

"How are the hands' coming?"  
"They're pretty numb, it's hard to tell"  
"Keep working at it buddy, I'm going to need your help. Did you notice where they put my clothes?"  
"Yeah, they're on the floor next to that table over there" Steve's eyes followed Matt's head bob to a table in the corner of the room where a small table stood. His clothes were lying in a heap on the floor. A blanket covered the table.

"Matt, listen to me. There's a bobby pin in the back pocket of my pants and we'll be able to pick these handcuffs with it"  
"WE will? Maybe you SuperSeal, not me"  
Steve grinned at the reference as he thought of Gracie….beautiful little Gracie who lovingly called him SuperSeal. He loved that little girl so much. Tears slipped down his bruised cheeks and he closed his eyes.

"Hey Steve, what is it?"  
"He's never going to be able to forgive me Matt…I did this for him and for Gracie but he'll never be able to forgive me…."  
"Steve, he loves you man. It may take him awhile…..but he loves you. And Gracie? God, that little girl idolizes you. I'm so sorry to put this all on you Steve….thank you, thank you for coming"

"Matt this isn't your fault. We all expected this someday. I need you to do me a favor though"  
"Of course"  
"If I don't make it out of here…."  
Matt interrupted him, "Hey, Steve come on man….you're going to get us out of here, both of us"

"I'll do everything I can to make that happen, but in case I don't make it…" He paused and struggled to control the shakiness in his voice, "I told Governor Denning that sometimes you have to do what you think is right no matter what the consequences may be….and I do believe that. I just couldn't put him in this danger Matt. I never want to see him hurt, he's become so much more than my partner…he's my brother, my best friend. And Gracie…..my sweet, sweet angel. I have seen so much death and torment in my life but they have given me something so special" Matt watched this tough as nails man talk about his brother and niece and tears welled in both their eyes, "They loved me Matt…they became the family I had lost…..the family I longed for. They gave me reason to live, to enjoy life again. I truly believe that making them think I'm dead is the only way to keep Danny safe and if he can't forgive me, then that's the consequence I'll have to deal with. I know I'm rambling on….."

"Steve, I understand…..I'll make sure he knows, I promise"  
No more words were spoken as Steve simply nodded to the young man and then bowing his head, his chin touching his chest, Steve closed his eyes and soon his beaten body again surrendered to unconsciousness.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny and Kono stood at Chin's bedside. Kono stroked her cousin's forehead gently with her thumb talking to him soothingly, "You're going to be fine cous'. Danny's here too, we love you Chin"  
Danny stood on the other side of the bed holding Chin's hand in his. He wanted to talk but he couldn't. His throat constricted as he gently placed the injured man's hand at his side and he moved to the large window overlooking the Hospital courtyard.

He folded his arms tightly around his chest as his body shook again. He was in utter disbelief that Steve was gone….Denning had to be wrong…..he just had to be. As tears dampened his cheeks he remembered back to his first meeting with Steve…..their guns drawn on each other as they stood over the Mercury Marquis in his Dad's garage. He took a bullet later that day too and he remembered cursing to himself as he drove home alone that evening convinced that this arrogant Navy Seal was the biggest asshole he had ever met, and coming from Jersey he had known many assholes!

Then as he stood at his desk the next night after they had taken down Hess, Steve had come into his office and handed him a peace offering. At least that's what Steve thought it was, but to Danny it was so much more. Steve had purchased a three night stay at the Hilton for him and Gracie for that upcoming weekend. That gesture of kindness had meant the world to him. Not many people 'got' Danny. He tended to rub people the wrong way…but not McGarrett. Danny had punched him in the jaw, and made him endure numerous rants those first two days and yet McGarrett saw right through his bravado instantly. He saw what was important to Danny, and that was his daughter…..she was his everything. They had an amazing time at the Hilton as Steve had purchased them a suite complete with a hot tub IN the room, which did wonders on easing the arm pain from the bullet wound. Thinking back on it now and knowing Steve as well as he did…..the SEAL probably planned it all! It had worked…..nothing had been said about that shooting again for a long, long time. He and Gracie swam with the dolphins, spent time in the pool…and yes, even spent some time in the Ocean. It had been a beautiful getaway but even more than that, it had showed Danny a side to Steve that he now realized the man didn't show to very many people. Steve McGarrett had CHOSEN him. He had allowed HIM into a small and elite inner circle of friends and confidants and Danny was so honored.

There were not many men like Steven John McGarrett, hell he would only compare his Father and _maybe _his old Police Chief from Jersey to the SEAL. And as the years had passed, that admiration had only deepened. And now…..now in an instant he was gone. He hadn't even had a chance to tell him how he felt, although he was pretty certain Steve knew. He clasped his hands behind his head and leaned forward with his elbows up against the window. He couldn't remember EVER hurting this bad. His mind drifted to eighteen months ago and to his baby brother Matt. When he had to leave to go into witness protection it had broken his heart. He had stood in Steve's yard watching Matty walk towards the van with the WitSec agents knowing he would never see him again. He had felt a pain so incredibly intense that he thought nothing could ever hurt worse….until now. Matty was alive, Steve was gone….

Moments later he felt Kono hand gently touch his lower back. He turned to her and they fell into an embrace both again sobbing into each other's shoulders. "Oh God Kono…..oh God….this hurts"  
She couldn't speak, the words catching in her throat, "I…I kknoww….."  
Danny added softly, "We never got to say goodbye"  
They comforted each other as they looked out over the beautiful Island paradise of Oahu, both wondering how they could ever get along without Steve.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve's eyes bolted open as the door to the basement opened and the cartel members came noisily down the stairs.

Cordoba stood a few inches from the SEAL bringing his gun up, and running it across Steve's bruised flesh, "Does it hurt much?"  
Steve responded with a big grin, "Not at all"  
Cordoba laughed sadistically and then he motioned to Pedro Ocinco, "Go ahead Pedro, get ready"

Matt and Steve listened to Cordoba but their eyes followed Ocinco as he moved to the small, covered table.  
"You see McGarrett, you are going to die in this room but it will not be brought on by beating"  
Matt responded first as Ocinco removed the blanket from the table, "Oh God, no Cordoba…..come on man please don't"

"You stole from us Matthew and I thought it would be a very good lesson for you to see what our business is all about and more importantly that you see what happens to people who turn on us. McGarrett here….he's responsible for Felipe being in prison and for killing Freddy. And since he's choosing to keep your brother out of this, he's taking responsibility for David's death as well" He turned and glared at Steve adding, "Let's see how tough you really are Mr. Navy SEAL"

A smile creased Steve's lips and he responded with no emotions whatsoever, "Fuck you Cordoba. I'm going to kill you…..I promise you that"

Cordoba stepped aside as Ocinco moved to McGarrett and plunged the needle into his forearm. It took only minutes before Steve began to feel the effects as the crystal meth entered his bloodstream.

********** Please let me know what you think. Reviews are always appreciated and as always, Thanks for reading ***********


	9. Chapter 9

Back at the hospital Kono had convinced Danny to take a few minutes and grab a breath of fresh air as Chin would still be under for a while. Danny sat on a bench overlooking a man-made pond. People moved all around him….life…Steve was gone and yet the world moved on, people lived their lives. Eventually he pulled out his phone and called Denning.

"Governor, it's Williams"  
"Hello Danny. Are you doing any better?"  
"Honestly? No….no I'm not. Have they found anything at the site yet?"  
"No, not yet. Danny I know you want to get Steve's body back here but you have to give it time. The search could take days"  
"We can't get involved? Get the Military there at least? After everything he's done for this Country, we have to help Sir"  
"Danny we will, I promise. We will get Steve back to Hawaii. This happened over Japanese airspace and we have to respect and abide by their terms"

Danny released a sigh of desperation that tugged at the Governor's heart. He hated lying to the man like this.  
Danny responded softly, "I understand Sir"  
"I was just about to go see the pilot's wife. I'll make sure she remains quiet and there's no need for her know that Steve was the passenger"  
"Okay, good… thank you Sir. Please keep me updated"  
"I will"

Gracie was in school so Danny decided it was the best time to contact Rachel.  
"Hello Daniel. I haven't talked to you in a while"  
"Rach…." The simple sound of her voice took him over the edge, "Oh God Rachel…"  
"Danny? Danny what's wrong?"  
She listened as he gasped and choked back tears. After several seconds the words left his lips, "Steve's dead Rachel…he's gone"  
She cried out his name, "Danny…oh Danny I'm so sorry. Where are you?"  
"I'm at the hospital"  
"Let me get a sitter for Charles and I'll be right up"  
"No….no…..I just need to wait for Chin to wake up. He doesn't know yet"  
"Chin? Danny, tell me what happened"  
Danny explained the last twenty four hours to his ex-wife. Stan was out of the country on business and it was decided that Rachel would arrange for the kids to stay with a friend overnight. Danny would spend the day with Chin and then head over to Rachel's around seven o'clock. They needed to talk and to figure out how they were going to break this horrific news to Gracie.

After hanging up, Danny sat quietly for several minutes before heading back up to Chin's room.

**50505050505050505050505050**

After injecting Steve, the thugs left the room. Matt watched as the drugs took hold of the SEAL and he fought against his restraints, cursing under his breath.  
Matt spoke "Steve just relax man…..don't fight it. You'll be okay…...relax"  
It only took a couple of minutes for Steve's beaten body to surrender to the sensation of the meth. His knowledge of the drug and the effect it had on the human body and more importantly the brain was vast, but he obviously had never actually experienced the 'rush' until now. It was everything he had heard, he felt his heart racing and he was sweating. His breathing was fast as he mumbled over and over again, "Shit…..shit, shit…"

His brain was racing and images flooded his mind. Images of Danny and Gracie…Chin and Kono…..Catherine….Mom, MaryAnn and Joe. Everyone was smiling, beautiful and happy. He could do this, he could make everything right again. He just had to handle these thugs. There were only six of them…he'd done this before….no problem. As Gracie would say, he is SuperSeal after all. His entire body tingled. He could feel the hairs on his arms, legs and the nape of his neck stand on end. He squirmed until his natural instincts to fight finally gave way and he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Matt continued to watch the SEAL intently. There was very little that Danny Williams did not know about his kid brother, but one thing was his past drug use. Matt had begun taking cocaine when he was in college. It had started in his sophomore year. No one in his family understood why he decided to transfer to the University of Miami and as far as he knew, none of them ever knew about his two year addiction. Then there was Darah….beautiful Darah. God he had loved that girl. He had met her in Economics class and they became study partners. It didn't take long for her to invite him to join her co-ed beach volleyball team and they soon became a couple. Matt tried to quit…he loved Darah dearly and he tried to quit the coke, for her…..for them….but he couldn't. And he pulled her into his world. He hated himself for this and he would never be able to forgive himself….he had destroyed her. He killed her just if he had put a bullet into her brain. When he woke up in his apartment with her dead body next to his he knew he would never be the same.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny and Kono were standing next to each other at Chin's bedside as he woke.  
Kono smiled lovingly and ran her soft hand gently across his forehead, "Hi cous' it's good to have you back with us"  
Danny was holding onto one of his hands firmly and Chin brought his free hand up to his bandaged throat.  
Kono grabbed the hand, pulling it down onto the man's chest. She spoke softly, "Don't touch" as she kept her hand on top of it, stroking lightly.

His eye's looked confused as they darted around the room. Danny spoke, "You were shot babe, but the Doc did a great job on you and you're going to be fine"

"Thhir…rss…tyy"  
"Okay, let me go see if we can give you anything buddy" Danny turned and briskly left the room.  
"Huurts K….kkono"  
"I know. You were shot in the throat but they say it was all vascular damage and they were able to repair everything…..you're going to be fine"

Danny returned with the Nurse and after she took his vitals and asked him a few questions she had Danny lift and support his head slightly as she brought a straw to his lips and allowed him to take several small sips of water. The process was obviously very painful and once done Danny placed his head back gently onto the pillow. The Nurse, Connie then spoke to him softly, "Is there anything I can get for you Mr. Kelly. Do you need anything for the pain?"

"No….'m ggood"  
She smiled down at him adding, "You're a very lucky man. The Doctor tells me if your Navy SEAL friend here hadn't have been there we would have lost you. You get some rest and call for me if you need anything"

As she left the room, Chin turned his gaze to Danny and Kono, "Where's SS…Stevvee?"  
Danny responded quickly, "He's not here right now, but you need to rest okay. We'll talk later"  
As his eye's fixed on Kono's she couldn't handle it and she broke down, turning away from the bed.

Danny's hand instinctively reached for her and as he touched her shoulder he heard Chin, "Danny….pplease….wwhat happened?"

The Jersey Detective grabbed Chin's hand and as tears again filled his eye's he said the horrible words, "Chin…there was an accident…...Steve's….Steve's dead Chin, he's gone"  
Chin didn't speak, not a word. He closed his eyes tightly, unable to stop the tears that flowed down his cheeks. His nostrils flared and his breathing became labored as he processed the news.

Kono moved in close talking to him softly, "Chin, relax. Slow down your breathing baby"  
He choked out the words, "Steve….oh God no, nnot SStevve"  
"Sssshhhhhhhhh I know cous'…..I know"  
Danny moved to the other side of the bed, taking Chin's hand in his, "Chin, do you need something for the pain?"  
"No…I…..I ddon't want….drugs…..Danny what haap…pened?"

As Kono stroked his forehead and cheeks Danny told him all they knew at this point.  
When he was done, Chin spoke softly, "This can't be true"  
All three sat close, touching and hugging each other. Comforting each other as only families can do.

******* MUCH MORE TO COME, HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING *******


	10. Chapter 10

********* Please forgive me for the long delay in posting. I have been quite ill and I'm finally feeling well enough to write again. I hope you all continue to read and enjoy and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a safe and healthy holiday season **********

Less than two hours after the thugs first injected Steve they returned. Without a word being spoken, another needle pierced his flesh and a second gram of meth entered his bloodstream.

They left and as soon as the door had closed behind them Steve struggled against his restraints. His left wrist had begun to bleed and Matt noticed that blood was also dripping from his chest, streaking down across his abdomen and groin as the ropes binding him dug into his flesh. "STEVE….STEVE…..stop struggling man, you're hurting yourself"

The SEAL was cursing and slamming his head back against the fencing as the 'rush' effects from the meth began to hit him.  
"Oh shit….shit…..God damn it…."  
"Steve…..I'm so sorry"  
Hearing the fear in Matt's voice brought Steve's mind back into focus, "Matt….it's gonna' be alright. You need to stay strong okay? I'm gonna' need your help. You have to stay strong"

"I've messed everything up Steve. Danny must be so ashamed of me"  
"HEY, we don't have time for a pity party. If you want to get through this thing alive you need to do whatever I say, do you understand me?"  
"Yeah, I understand…..How are you feeling?"  
"Honestly, I'm fucking pissed off. I will say though….I'm not feeling much pain"  
"It sure can take that away can't it?"  
Steve's glare turned serious, "It sounds like you have some experience with this shit Matthew?"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?"  
"Yeah right…..Does Danny know?"  
Matt hesitated before responding softly, "No….and he doesn't need to know Steve. It's in my past. I haven't used since my college days"  
Steve looked at Matt's face and he saw the pain, "Matt….tell me about it"

After briefly hesitating, Matt told him everything. How he started dabbling with coke in the last semester of his sophomore year. How he had transferred to Miami to hide the drug use from his family. And he told Steve about Darah.  
"I loved her Steve…she was twenty two years old….I killed her"  
"You didn't kill her Matt…the damn drugs killed her"

"She never….NEVER would have taken coke…she did it because I did it. Damn it Steve, I took a sweet, innocent girl who have never even touched a drink of alcohol, and in six months she was dead…..I'll never forget that moment….." Steve's eyes welled with tears as he watched Matt. He was shocked at what he was hearing, but it answered questions he had always had about the younger Williams' brother. Danny had told Steve tale after tale of a young, confident Matthew and yet from the first time they had met he had seen a side of Matt that just didn't jive with Danny's view of his brother. Matt continued, "She was cradled in the crook of my arm, I kissed her forehead and she was cold…..so horribly cold…why couldn't it have been me Steve. She didn't deserve to die"

The drugs coursing through Steve's body would typically cause a euphoric feeling but as he listened to Matt bare his soul the drugs created an effect far from euphoria. The meth made him overly emotional and he struggled to maintain his composure and…..his rising anger.  
A few minutes passed before Steve spoke softly, "Matt….you can't change the past"  
"I know that Steve. I hate myself for what I've done….and I can never, ever forgive myself" Tears flowed down the young man's cheeks as he remembered Darah, his beautiful Darah.

Steve continued, "Matt, how were you able to keep this from your family? From Danny?"  
"The night Darah OD'd we were at a party. There were more than twenty people in the house. The police interviewed all of us and her death was ruled accidental. It was my first offense and I was sentenced to court ordered drug treatment. A few weeks before she died I had told Danny about her. I was going to ask her to marry me….." Matt sighed deeply as he resumed, "I was twenty credits short of graduating when this happened and Danny was going through his Police Academy training at the time. The treatment program was three months long and I had to put my classes on hold. I quit the drugs Steve…..cold turkey man. I have not touched any of that crap since that night and I never will again. I may not have died that night, but I was destroyed. I talked to Mom and Danny while I was in treatment. They didn't suspect anything was wrong and after I got out of treatment I called Danny and asked him to come get me"

Steve asked softly, "What did you tell him?"  
"I told him that Darah had been killed in a car accident and that I had dropped out of school. I told him I didn't want to bother him during his Academy training. He helped me through that horrible time Steve and I've still never told him the truth"

"Why not?"  
"Why not? Jesus Steve this is Danny we're talking about, Mister 'by-the-book', super cop. I was ashamed…..I still am ashamed…"

"Matthew, look at me. HEY, look at me!" Matt raised his head and looked up at the battered SEAL who added, "Listen to me kid. When we get out of this, you need to tell him"  
"I can't tell him…..shit I can't believe I'm telling you"

"Matt, he loves you man. He needs to know the truth and you need to come clean. Your brother is a great man and an amazing confidant. I have told him things….Let me tell you Matt, Danny has saved my life more times than I can count. You're right in calling him a super cop but he's much more than that. The things I've done, that I've been ordered to do in defense of my country…" his voice tailed off, "Please don't misunderstand me. I love my country and I don't regret anything that I've done but sometimes it's not easy…."

"Steve, you're a hero. The things you've done in your life are amazing. I'm nothing like you! I'm the exact opposite of you. I'm a coward"

"You're not a coward Matt. You're a human being who made a horrible mistake. Like I said, you can't change your past but you can't let it consume you either. I've had moments when my past has almost consumed me….Danny has helped me through some very dark times, the nightmares that never end….Danny loves you, let him help you"

Their conversation ended abruptly as they heard the men again descending the steps, drawing near.

**505050505050505050505050**

The three detectives sat in stunned silence each deep in their own thoughts of their beloved friend.

Eventually Chin fell asleep and leaving Kono at his side he moved to the corner of the room to try to reach Joe.  
Reaching his voice mail he decided against leaving a message. Sitting at a table by the bedroom window he placed his face in his hands. He rubbed his thumbs on his temples in an effort to ease his throbbing headache. He hadn't eaten all day and he felt horribly nauseated.

As if his thoughts had been expressed, a few minutes later Governor Denning appeared in the room with sandwiches, fruit and bottles of lemonade for Danny and Kono. He moved to the table and Kono joined them.

Denning motioned towards the bed, "How's Chin doing?"  
Danny answered softly, "Physically, he's stable…..he's going to be fine"  
Denning nodded, "Thought you might be hungry" He placed Turkey and Cheese sandwiches on Ciabatta bread, strawberries and pineapple chunks, and the drinks in front of each of them.

The detectives looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh. Denning's eyes darted between the two as their laughter was now mixed with tears. Danny's voice cracked with emotion as he stated, "I hate fucking pineapples"

Kono smiled through her tears adding, "Steve would always get you to eat them…somehow"  
Danny wiped his tears as he added quietly, "Even now….he got me"  
Kono looked to the Governor, "Thank You Sir for the food, but I don't think I can eat"  
Danny took hold of her hand, "You need to eat sweetheart, we need to keep our strength up"

As they nibbled on the food they talked about Steve. The Governor let them know that they still hadn't found anything at the crash site.  
He then asked Danny, "Have you been able to reach Joe White?"  
"No…not yet"  
"I spoke with the pilot's wife. Nothing will be released to the media about this until you want it to be"  
"Thank You. Your support is greatly appreciated"  
The Governor stayed and visited for a short time and a little before seven Danny prepared to go meet with Rachel.

Standing at the foot of Chin's bed the pair embraced. Danny asked, "Are you going to be okay here?"  
"Yeah….I've got him. How are you going to tell Gracie?"  
"All I know is that it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do…..she adored him"  
"I know…I know"  
"You call me if you need me, or if he needs anything"  
"I will Danny"  
Danny leaned in and kissed Kono's cheek, "I love you sweetheart, you know that right?"  
"I love you too Danny"

Moments later Danny was pulling out of the hospital parking lot oblivious of the vehicle that followed him.

*********** Lot's more to follow, hope you're still enjoying *************


	11. Chapter 11

************ This chapter contains extreme violence and scenes of torture ************

Danny pulled up to Rachel's and made his way to the front door. It opened as he neared and Rachel stepped outside to greet him. She kissed his cheek and said nothing, she simply held him. He instantly melted in her arms and she guided him into the house. Danny Williams was a tough man but he was also an emotional man, and no one knew that side of him better than Rachel. They sat quietly on the couch in the living room for several minutes before Danny spoke.

"Rachel…..I can't believe he's gone. Oh God he's gone"  
"Danny, I'm so sorry. Steven was such a good man and a dear friend….I'm so sorry"  
"I tried Rachel, I tried so hard to give him a reason to stop. Ohhh GGod….wwhy couldn't hhe stop?" The tears again began to flow and Rachel took his hands into hers.

"What are you talking about Danny? Stop what?"  
"The search honey…..his obsessive search for Wo-Fat….now it's killed him. I tried to get him to stop, I tried"  
"I know you did…..he loved you Danny. You and Gracie. He loved both, you know that"

"And I loved him. God Rachel…he was a special man. He did so much for this country, and for what? Damn it Rach for what?"  
"He was a hero Danny"  
"And what did it get him Rachel? He's dead…he's fucking dead"  
"He saved so many lives. He did so much good"

"He was a tortured soul Rachel. He told me things about his missions. Every man he lost haunted him honey. He had nightmares of them dying in his arms, again and again….At first he wouldn't tell me anything, everything was 'classified'. God I can't tell you how much I hate that word. Do you remember the case I told you about a couple of years ago, the young Navy SEAL who snapped and killed his girlfriend?"

"Yes…and Steve killed him"  
"Uh huh….he didn't have a choice. The kid was about to kill two teenage hostages, he didn't have a choice. It sure messed with his mind though baby. For a week we watched him grow more withdrawn and it was obvious that he wasn't sleeping well. He was edgy and overly sensitive. I couldn't get him to talk to me, he just kept saying he was sorry. That Friday night he called me at about one in the morning. He was smashed out of his mind and he kept rambling about Jack. How it was his fault that Jack was dead and how he didn't deserve to be alive. Then…he started sobbing and apologizing for exposing me and Gracie to the dangers of 5-0. He told me he couldn't take it anymore, that he was tired of all the killing. Also that he was fed up with all the justification that took place with the killings. He said it was time for him to take responsibility for his sins"

"Oh God Danny….it sounds like…."  
Danny interrupted her, "Like he was planning on killing himself. Yeah….it did. I was so damn scared racing to his house. When I was about halfway there his phone went dead. I found him on the beach, passed out cold. I woke him up but he was too fucked up to talk. I helped him into the house, practically carrying the big lug. Halfway up the yard he started puking all over both of us. You know something, it was almost like Gracie puke"

Rachel grinned, ""What do you mean?"  
"You know…when your child pukes on you, it's no big deal. You clean up and you take care of her. That's kind of how I felt that night. He was family and he was hurting. Honestly, I was just so damn happy that he was alive…..oh God Rachel…..oh God"  
Danny's body shook as again tears wracked his body. Rachel pulled him to her chest and tenderly kissed his forehead and his eyes as she wiped the tears from his cheeks.

As he began to settle slightly she eased his head down onto her lap, and he curled his exhausted body onto the couch. They sat silently as Rachel stroked her ex's hair lovingly. Eventually Danny continued, "I got him upstairs that night and into the shower. I'd never seen him so out of it. He just kept mumbling about Jack and that he was so sorry. I just got him into boxers and into his bed and he was out instantly"

"Who's Jack?"  
"Well after I showered I fell asleep in a chair next to his bed. A little after four in the morning I woke up to Steve screaming"  
Rachel was wearing shorts and she felt Danny's tears dampen her thigh as he continued softly, "I jumped up onto the bed and grabbed his upper arms, which was a huge mistake. He was having a flashback of a mission and when I grabbed him, in his delirium he attacked me. Before I even knew it I was on the ground and Steve's hands were around my neck. He was so fucking strong Rach and the only thing that saved my life was that I was able to choke out his name a couple of times. He finally realized who I was and he stopped….but it was close Rac. He pulled off of me and he was rocking back and forth on his knees. He was shaking and sobbing and repeating the name Jack over and over again. I helped him back onto the bed and without looking at me he told me about Jack Lynch. It happened on a mission Steve led six months before transitioning to 5-0. They were in in South Africa. They were sent to assassinate the head of a drug cartel who was plotting to overthrow the Government. Steve and Jack were captured along with two other SEALS, Joel Piecher and Carlos Rivera. Joel was killed instantly and they cartel thugs beat Carlos to death in front of Steve and Jack. Over the next few hours they were beaten as well. And then the drug lord came into the tent…" Danny paused briefly, "God Rachel…what he did to them…..he made them play Russian Roulette Rach. The man was fucking sadistic. Steve said that Jack was terrified, and shaking….."

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Danny described the horrific torture to Rachel as Steve had described it to him.

Steve and Jack were alone in the tent sitting across from each other at a small wooden table. Their feet were shackled to their chairs, their wrists handcuffed and on the table before them. They were alone in the tent for a few minutes and Steve spoke firmly to his young charge who was on his first SEAL mission, "Lynch, you stay strong. No matter what happens you stay strong. You're a SEAL and a damn good one. Whatever they throw at you, you can handle it…..you can handle it. Our team will be here soon but don't stop looking for a way out of here you hear me?"

"Yes sir, I hear you sir"  
Steve had endured many horrible things in his years of service but even he wasn't prepared for what came through that tent entrance.  
Dineo Rostoll entered the tent with four of his henchmen. The four men stood next to Steve and Jack, guns pointed to their heads. Rostoll unlocked the men's cuffs as he spoke angrily, "The United States of America needs to learn not to mettle into the affairs of our Country. Two of your team are dead and now you will tell me, are there others?"

Steve's steely gaze met Rostoll's as he responded, "There are no others, just the four of us"  
His answer was greeted with the blow of a rifle butt to his cheek and jaw. Rostoll then pulled out a gun and Steve watched on in horror as Rostoll opened the chamber of the pistol and placing a single bullet into it, he spun it closed.

Steve's eyes focused on Jack. He saw the sheer terror in the twenty three year olds eyes as they locked on each other.  
Rostoll put the gun on the table in front of Jack stating coldly, "You first kid"  
"What?...Nno I ccan't"  
One of the thugs struck Jack's temple with his rifle as Steve hollered, "STOP, you son-of-a-bitch. Let me talk to him"  
Another one of the thugs yelled back, "Let me take care of this….this child Dineo!"

Steve called out to Jack, "Lynch, remember what I told you son. Look at me….look at me" Their eyes met and Steve continued "Jack, it's going to be alright. These fucking bastards are too weak and pathetic to take us on like men"

Dineo grinned as his brother Martin again brought his gun down across Steve's cheek opening up a deep, bloody gash.  
Steve's eyes opened focusing on the gun as Rostoll set it in front of him. "So Commander you can show your man how this is done"  
Steve picked up the gun and with no hesitation and a steely determination he placed the barrell to his temple and pulled the trigger. As the hollow click of the empty chamber sounded, Steve drew in a deep breath and exhaled. His jaw has tight, his body tense.

Rostoll took the gun from Steve and again placed it in front of Jack. Rostoll placed his gun under Jack's chin lifting his face up. "So are you a man or a boy?"

Steve spoke firmly to the young man, "Jack, it's okay…..you can do this"  
"Sir…..I can't"  
"You can….and you will soldier, do you hear me? You have to do this, at least you'll have a chance to survive…..do it Jack"  
"Sir…."  
"LYNCH, I need you to trust me…..do it son"  
Jack Lynch raised the gun to his temple. His hand was shaking uncontrollably and his eyes never left Steve as he pulled the trigger…

******* MORE TO FOLLOW *******


	12. Chapter 12

************ This chapter contains extreme violence and scenes of torture ************

Steve held his breath, exhaling as the clicking of metal on metal in the empty chamber brought him momentary relief.  
He reached across the table and grabbed Jack's shaking hands as Rostoll pulled the gun from his grip.  
Steve spoke softly, "That a boy Jack" Steve noticed to his left a shadow move across the tent canvas and he knew...help had arrived, his men were here. He needed to stall for a few minutes.

Rostoll slammed the gun down in front of Steve again, "Your turn Commander"  
"Rostoll enough of this, we've both played your fucking game now no more!"  
"You're not running this 'game' as you call it McGarrett and it's not over until I say it's over! You've got ten seconds Commander or I will end your game permanently!"

Rostoll began counting, "TEN, NINE, EIGHT….."  
Steve picked up the gun.  
"SEVEN, SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE"  
As he placed the gun barrel to his head his eyes remained transfixed on Jack's. His ears perked, his senses fully aroused. Waiting until the last possible second…..hoping for his men to arrive….Steve McGarrett held a steady finger to the trigger.

"TWO…"  
Steve's mind was racing, _'Come on guys, where are you?'  
_Once again without any hesitation as Rostoll hollered "ONE", Steve pulled the trigger.  
Jack's eyes were wide with terror as he watched his commanding Officer again bravely pull the trigger and both men exhaled loudly as again metal hit metal in the empty chamber. Both men were sweating profusely as Rostoll moved the gun back to Lynch. With three empty rounds fired from the six shooter….the men's odds of survival were decreasing dramatically.

Steve spoke in a steady, firm voice, "Lynch, you're strong son. These bastards are not going to win. Do you hear me soldier? We've got it here kid. These bastards are NOT going to win!"

"Yes Sir…..I hear you Sir" Martin Rostoll swung the butt of his rifle again, striking Jack's nose. Blood spattered as the nose broke with the blow.

Steve's eyes frantically searched his surroundings, _'where were his men?'_  
Turning back to Jack he saw the horrible fear in the young man's eyes as he raised the gun to his head.

The next few minutes were a total blur as everything happened instantaneously.  
Steve lunged towards Jack as he fired the gun….the entire tent lit up in gunfire as three remaining members of SEAL Team Three stormed the tent with guns blazing. Steve threw his beaten body across the table barreling into his young team member and driving them both to the ground. The shooting was over in thirty seconds and as two of his men worked on releasing their leader from the chains that bound his feet, Steve's second in command Drew Fulton leaned down over the fallen bodies.

"Steve, it's Drew…..we've got you partner"  
Steve responded quietly, "It's too late Drew…..it's too late"  
Drew looked down at his friend who sat cradling young Jack Lynch in his arms. Help had come but it had come seconds too late. The bullet had crushed his right temple and Jack had died instantly, his eyes open, the fear and horror still evident in them. Drew reached down and tenderly closed the young man's eyes as Steve repeated, "It's too late….it's too late"

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Rachel continued to stroke Danny's forehead and with her other hand she wiped tears that fell from her eyes.  
"My God Danny. That's horrible. How could he ever get over that?"

"He couldn't sweetheart. He never got over any of it. He just learned to live with it. The stories he told me babe, the men he lost, the nightmares he suffered…."

"So the young SEAL he had to kill….."  
"Malloy, Spencer Malloy….after everything had gone down we found out that he had been released from the SEALS after a mission where he was captured and tortured. He was never able to recover from the trauma and the military had no other option. He saw himself as a failure though, and according to his family he had stopped taking his medication for depression and his condition just spiraled out of control. They found a letter after his death that proved he had no intention of surviving that day"

"And yet Steve blamed himself for killing him?"  
"It wasn't so much that he blamed himself…it was Spencer's eyes"  
"His eyes? What do you mean?"  
"Steve said when he looked into Spencer's eyes, he saw Jack…..he saw the fear, the torment. I could never have done the things Steve did Rachel. You said earlier that he was a hero, he was much more than that. I think Gracie had it right, he was simply Super SEAL. Oh God, how am I going to tell her he's gone?"

"All we can do is tell her the truth. She'll be devastated. She loved him so much"  
"And he loved her. He would do anything for his little angel. She brought him so much happiness" Danny sat up and took her hands in his. "A couple of weeks ago we were talking about….about your moving to Nevada. He made me see how angry and selfish I've been. This can't be about me or you….it's about our little girl and it's not good for her to see us fighting. Rachel, I trust that whatever you do will be in Gracie's best interest. I won't fight you any longer"

She leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek, "Let's not talk about this now okay? I'm here for you Danny and I always will be"  
He responded softly, "Thank You"

A few minutes later Danny went upstairs to shower and Rachel stood on the front lawn waiting for the dog to finish his business.  
She noticed the black SUV parked across the street from her home. She had noticed it when Danny had arrived a couple of hours earlier as well. She wasn't too concerned, in fact she actually felt a bit paranoid and silly. Deciding it was nothing, she went back into her home closing and locking the doors behind her.

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The thugs approached Steve and again with no words being spoken they injected him with another gram of meth.  
As the needle entered he screamed out in anger, "You son-of-a-bitch, I'm going to kill you…..you know that, don't you?"  
"I don't think so tough guy. A few more hits of this and you're gonna be begging me for more"  
"Fuck you. You're a worthless punk and you'll be dead…..soon"

Bruno Alvarez lunged at Steve throwing punch after punch to the SEALS torso, chest and face. Cordoba allowed him to continue for several minutes before having the others pull him away.  
"Let me finish him off Cordoba!"  
"BRUNO, BRUNO STOP! You know the plan…we have to stick with the plan"  
"Well I don't like the plan Sebastian! I say we just finish them off and get out of here. We've got our money"  
"This isn't just about the money…we're sending a message and you'll do what I say do you hear me boy?"  
Steve watched Bruno's reaction closely as the men argued and he continued to try to figure a way out of this mess. While the drugs made his senses extra intense they also were making it harder for him to form a coherent escape plan in his mind.

The men made their back upstairs arguing the entire way.  
"Jesus Christ Steve, are you okay?"  
Steve turned and lifting his head from his chest he spit blood and grinned at Matt, "I'm fine. These punks can't hurt me"  
"YES THEY CAN! They can do more than hurt you! For God's sake Steven, stop giving them more reasons will you!"  
"You're sounding just like your big brother, you know that?"  
"Well, if you ever want to see Danny again you'll listen to me and stop egging these animals on!"  
"Matt, Bruno's wound tight as a drum, he's ready to snap. I've got to take him out first"  
"How in the hell are you going to do that?"  
"I'm thinking….I'm thinking. How are you coming with those ropes?"  
"I'm not making much progress. Bruno tied me up last, he ties pretty tight….."

"What do yo mean last? They've been untying you Matt?"  
"Just to let me eat"  
"Good, that's good. Matt, I need you to think now. Is there anything else they've been doing that could give me an upper hand?"  
"Um….yeah, yeah…...this morning when they were feeding me Cordoba said they would have to make a food run into town Thursday morning. Hell, I don't even know what day it is"

"It's Tuesday…..this is good Matt. I can take this shit for one day. Thursday morning….Thursday morning" Matt watched as Steve's eyes closed and he surrendered to the pain of the beating and passed out.

Every two hours throughout the night the evil would return and more meth would be injected into Steve's arms.  
But now the SEAL did not agitate his captors. He did not speak, his mind was thinking ahead to Thursday morning as he plotted their escape.

*********** Much more to follow – reviews are greatly appreciated, I hope you're enjoying ! ***********


	13. Chapter 13

Danny woke as streaks of sunlight peeked through the curtains in Rachel's bedroom. He hadn't gotten much sleep. He looked down at Rachel as she slept on his chest, her arm draped across his midsection. Rachel had once again been there for him, with exactly what he needed. Danny had needed to be held, to be comforted and she had given him that throughout the night. She had listened to him as he talked about and mourned for the man who was a brother to him. He had told her things about Steve that the man had confided in him, things that twenty four hours ago he would never have shared with another living soul, but none of that mattered anymore because he was gone…..he was gone.

Never again would he hear the SEAL rant. Never again would they squabble incessantly over petty things. Never again would he wonder why Steve had to always drive his car. Never again would he change weekend plans with Gracie because she wanted to see her beloved Uncle Steve. Never again would he see that broad, beautiful smile. Life would never be the same…never again.

Her eyes opened and she spoke lovingly, "Are you alright Danny?"  
"I don't think I'm going to be alright for a long time sweetheart. God I loved him…Rachel…."  
"I know"  
"Rachel, thank you"  
She placed a finger onto his lips, "You're welcome"  
They talked for a short time before Rachel excused herself to go put on a pot of coffee. Danny laid on the bed and pulling a pillow over his face the tough, Jersey detective again sobbed for his fallen friend.

A short time later he threw on his pants and t-shirt and after a stop in the bathroom he made his way down to the kitchen. He stood staring aimlessly out the small kitchen window as Rachel handed him a cup of coffee.  
"Here you go, just how you like it"  
"Thank You. You still remember how I like it?"  
"We were married for twelve years Daniel, one doesn't forget these things"  
He smiled and took the cup from her, returning his gaze to the outside.

She asked, "What are you looking at?"  
"Oh nothing"  
"That SUV is still there"  
"What do you mean? How long has it been out there?"  
"I noticed it when you first got here last night"  
"Was it parked out there before I got here Rachel?"  
"I'm not sure Danny, but yes…..I think so"  
"Stay here honey" He set his coffee on the table and moved quickly out the front door. Rachel watched as he picked up his pace as he moved across the front yard. As he neared the gate the SUV took off.

Rachel met him at the front door, "Danny, who was that?"  
"I don't know…..but I'm going to find out"  
Pulling out his cell phone he dialed Governor Denning.

"This is Governor Denning"  
"Good Morning Sir, this is Danny Williams. Do you have any news on the search?"  
"No Danny. I spoke with them about an hour ago. They haven't found anything at the site yet"  
"Sir when are we going to send in the military?"  
"We're looking into that Williams. I told you we would bring Commander McGarrett home, and we will"  
"Sir…..I need to know everything"  
"Danny, I've told you everything I know"  
"Governor, there was a vehicle parked outside Rachel's house. When I just approached it, it sped away. It was a black SUV, looked like a Government vehicle"

There was a pause, a very slight pause but a pause none-the-less and Danny picked up on that. The Governor responded, "Danny, I know nothing about that. It makes no sense. Are you sure?"  
"No….no I'm not sure of anything. Thank you Governor, I'll call you later"

As he hung up the phone Rachel touched his arm, "Danny, What is it?"  
"I don't know…it's probably nothing"  
His response was stopped as little Gracie came racing through the front door calling out "DANNO!"

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The little girl bounded into the room and straight into her Daddy's arms. Danny held her tightly to his chest. Her head was buried into his shoulder as he caressed her hair. He never wanted to let her go…..

"Danno…Danno you're squeezing me too tight!"  
"I'm sorry Monkey, that's because I love you so so much!"  
She pulled back and kissed her Daddy adding, "I love you more!"  
She saw the pain in his eyes. The beautiful, bright nine-year old little girl saw the pain instantly. "Danno, what's wrong? You look sad"  
His voice choked as he responded, "Monkey…."

Rachel entered the room cradling Charles in her arms as she said, "Danny, let's come into the living room"  
Carrying Gracie he followed Rachel into the adjoining room and after placing the babbling infant into his swing she joined the others on the couch.  
Danny's throat was horribly dry and he battled to keep his composure. Gracie sat at his side, her Daddy's arm draped protectively across her shoulders. She raised her hand up and grabbed hold of his fingers, squeezing them tightly.

"Gracie…I don't know how to tell you this. Monkey, there's been an accident…a very bad accident" Tears slid down his cheek as he looked into her big brown eyes, "Monkey…...it's your Uncle Steve"

"Uncle Steve got hurt Danno?"  
"Yeah…..he got hurt….really really bad. Gracie….your Uncle Steve, he…he died Monkey"  
Gracie didn't say anything. She glanced at her Mother and then turned back to her Danno. As their eye's met tears welled in her eyes and she mouthed the words 'no…..no, no' but no sound came from her. As her tears fell Danny lifted her onto his lap. He held her and kissed her as he gently rocked back and forth.

Several minutes passed before her voice returned and he heard her softly whimper "No Danno….not Uncle Steve…..please, please Danno not Uncle Steve"  
He held her tighter as they both cried, "I'm sorry Monkey, I'm so sorry"  
Rachel moved close and laying her head on Danny's shoulder she placed a loving arm around her daughter and the three Williams' mourned their loss together.

**50505050505050505050505050**

It was a horribly long day for Danny. Gracie spoke very little. Danny had never seen her like this and he had no clue what to do for her. She insisted on being held every moment of the day. If he or Rachel tried to set her down for even a moment she would sob uncontrollably and cling to them.

Mid morning Rachel laid down with both children and Danny moved to the outside patio to make a few calls.

As Kono's cell rang she moved from the bedside to the nearby window to take the call.  
"Danny, Hi….how's Gracie?"  
"You know Kono, I didn't even think it was possible for me to have a worse day than yesterday. She's….she's devastated, she's in shock…..God Kono she loved him so much. She's never lost someone close to her Kono, this is going to take time" He sighed deeply before continuing, "How's Chin doing?"

"As good as can be expected. He's very upset about Steve. They've had to medicate him a couple of times so he could sleep"  
"What are they saying about his wounds?"  
"Physically, things are good. They're still giving him transfusions so he's weak. He lost a lot of blood. They figure he'll be in here at least another two to three days"

"How are you doing Kono?"  
"I don't know Danny…I ….I feel numb…and sad…..so unbelievably sad"  
"I know"  
"Have you been able to reach Joe yet?"  
"No, not yet….he's my next call. I needed to hear your voice first"  
"Do you want me to call him?"  
"No, I need to do this. I need to do this for Steve"  
"Danny, Chin and I are here for you. And for Gracie…we're family"  
"I know. I love you"  
"I love you too"  
"Take care of our boy there and I'll stop up later. Send him my love"  
"Will do….bye"

He hung up the phone and sat quietly for a few minutes looking out over the beautiful Pacific. _'Paradise'_ that's what his partner called it. Steve loved this place so much and no matter how much he tried to fight it, Danny had to admit that Oahu had grown on him, just like that stubborn ass Navy SEAL had grown on him. He had partners before and he would have given his life for any of them but with McGarrett the brotherly bond and friendship they shared was truly special. Danny knew his life would never be the same.

Sighing deeply he picked up his cell phone and dialed Joe White …

************* Much more to follow - Ready for some SEAL action ? ***************


	14. Chapter 14

Steve had lost track of how many injections he had been given, he figured it was about five. If he had asked Matt he would have known it had actually been eight. Eight injections of that poison into his blood and with each one the SEAL was becoming more and more agitated and confused.

"MATT, MATT what in the hell is going on here? I thought you said these bastards would feed us?"  
"Steve, calm down man"  
"What time is it?"  
"I don't know. With them coming in so often I've kind of lost track. I'm hungry too though. I figure it's Wednesday morning"  
"Well I've just about had it with them…"With that, Steve began screaming, "HEY YOU MOTHER FUCKERS COME DOWN HERE AND FACE US!"

"STEVE, STOP! All they'll do is beat you more. Keep your mouth shut!"  
"They can't hurt me. I'm going to tear their heads off Matt"  
"That's good, but you have to be patient…wait for our moment. Be smart about this buddy. Remember tomorrow morning is our best shot"

"Tomorrow morning? What are you talking about?"  
"Remember tomorrow morning is Thursday?"  
"Oh yeah. We're getting out of here tomorrow morning Matt"  
"Have you figured out how we're going to do that Superman?"  
Steve's voice lowered, "Superman…that's what Danny calls me…..."  
"Hey, no getting sentimental on me okay. I need you to stay focused. Now tell me, how are we going to get out of here?"  
Before Steve could respond, the door opened and their captors descended the steps as Matt Williams pleaded quietly with Steve to stay quiet and keep his cool.

Daniel Cordoba was carrying a tray of food which he set on the table next to the drugs.  
Sebastian Cordoba stood in front of Matt, "Williams this is how it's going to work. We will untie you and allow you to eat. If you choose to share your food with your friend you may but you will need to feed him…..he will not be un-tied"

"What, six of you can't handle me Cordoba?"  
Matt hollered at the SEAL, "Jesus Steve, STOP"  
"THESE GUYS ARE PUNKS MATTHEW! Each and every one of them!"  
Sebastian Cordoba was not a stupid man but there was a reason he had been number two man in the cartel. Felipe Ocinco was the brains of the organization while Cordoba was the muscle. According to everything Steve knew about the man, his ego was huge and his temper was an issue. In order for he and Matt to survive this the SEAL knew he would have to take physical punishment, but hell…..he'd been there before…

Steve continued, "So Cordoba, what do you say? Are you man enough to take me on? One-on-one?" He saw the anger building in Cordoba and he continued, "You're the leader of the cartel now? You're too weak to lead!" Steve turned to Pedro Ocinco, "Pedro, your Father was a smart man and the smartest thing he did was keep your Uncle close to him and under his control. Why aren't you in charge Pedro? You've got the brains. This is your Father's organization not his!"

Matt looked on terrified, _'what in the hell was Steve doing?'_  
Cordoba was shaking with anger as he addressed his men, "Pedro, we're family. I treat you like my third son. The organization Felipe and I have built is for you boys, all three of you! We must stick to the plan! We've got the 500K and we're getting revenge for your Father, as I promised you" Cordoba turned to his two muscle men and added, "Take him down…..he's all yours"

Matt watched as a strange smile of satisfaction crossed the SEALS face.  
Daniel and Mateo Cordoba stood on either side of Steve, their automatic weapons trained on him as Alvarez and Moreno released him from his bonds and he dropped to his knees onto the hard dirt packed ground.

Steve's head was spinning as he tried to stay focused, his mind racing, _'Don't retaliate McGarrett…you can take it…..tomorrow is Thursday'_

The beating was brutal. Both men were close to 300 lbs and their punches were solid. They pummeled Steve's face, chest and midsection with blow after blow and as the naked man eventually curled into the fetal position in an attempt to protect himself from further damage, they resorted to kicking. Their steel-toed boots struck Steve's ribs, back and legs several times before Cordoba called them off.

Tears streaked down Matt's face as he watched the beating and his fear rose. This could be it. He may not live through this. Steve was after all a man, flesh and bone just as he was, and a body can only take so much. He wasn't Superman, or SuperSEAL…..he was simply Steve McGarrett, a special but still very mortal human being.

Cordoba moved over to Matt and untied him while stating, "There's a sink in the corner over there by the cot. Go ahead and treat your friend and I would suggest that you tell him to watch his mouth…next time I may not stop them"  
Matt nodded understanding and then he watched as five of the six men went upstairs leaving Daniel Cordoba to stand guard on the now unrestrained men.

**5050505050505050505050505050 5050**

As the door slammed shut Matt raced to Steve's side, "Steve, Steve….." He brushed at the injured man's bruised and bleeding cheek, "Steve…..can you hear me?" He only received weak moans from the unconscious man. His eyes scoured the room for any supplies that he could use. Keeping his hands open and out in front of him, Matt moved past the armed guard to the sink and cot. The mattress on the cot was severely soiled and musty but it was going to have to do. There was a pile of blankets and towels on a nearby metal shelf. He also found a small bowl and buried under the blankets, a small first aid kit. After covering the mattress with a blanket he moved back to Steve's side.

"Steve, hey come on man…" He softly patted the SEAL's cheeks attempting to rouse him.  
Several moments passed before Steve's right eye fluttered open, his left one was swollen shut and bleeding heavily from a gash to the eyebrow. He spoke softly, "Matt…"

"Yeah, I need you to listen to me Steve. Can you help me get you over to the cot so I can clean you up, you're a mess"  
"Yeah…..no problem…."  
Steve coughed and moaned as Matt pulled him into a sitting position, "Oh…ssshit"  
"You okay?"  
"Give mme a minute, okay?"  
"No hurry…relax"  
Steve battled to suck air into his lungs, as his ribs throbbed horribly. He mumbled softly as if trying to convince himself, "I'm good….I'm good"

Matt helped the injured man stand and draping Steve's arm around his shoulder the men staggered over to the small cot. Steve glared at Cordoba as they passed him. Matt eased him onto the edge of the bed and he went to work cleaning up his face. Matt talked to him softly as he dabbed at the cuts and bruises. "Your pretty face sure ain't too pretty now buddy. How are you doing?"

"I'll be fine. Just a little sore" He cringed as Matt worked on his injured eye.  
"Sorry Steve, this cut's pretty deep and it's bleeding bad. I found a first aid kit….."  
Steve cut him off saying quietly, "A first aid kit?"  
"Yeah…..why?"  
Steve whispered, "Are there a pair of scissors in there?"

Setting the kit next to the injured man, Matt opened it and there they were….scissors, a small pair….but scissors.  
As Matt moved slightly to block Cordoba's view Steve took the scissors from the box and slid them underneath his leg to hide them.  
After glancing at the kit and not seeing anything else that could help him he stated, "Matt, I need you to stitch this eye for me"  
"Yeah, okay. I don't know how good a job I'll do and it'll probably hurt"  
Steve grinned, "I can handle it Matt"  
Matt blushed sheepishly, "Yeah, I guess you can" He then added, "What the hell were you thinking man? It was almost like you wanted that beating"

Steve responded so softly he was barely audible, "It's all a part of my plan Matt"  
Steve felt awful, the high from the meth masked some of his physical pain but he had taken quite a beating. Glancing down at his body he noted severe bruising on his right thigh and the right side of his ribcage. The worst pain though was in his shoulders and wrists from being hung. He tipped his head back as Matt stitched the eyebrow as well as the three inch gash across his cheekbone.

Once finished he helped Steve lay back onto the cot, keeping the scissors hidden under his leg. He then covered him with another blanket. There were some expired aspirin in the first aid kit and he moved over to the table where they had left a bottle of water along with the food. He knelt next to Steve giving him several aspirin and the water.

"How are you doing Steve?"  
"Good Matt….thanks. I think I should try to rest for a bit now"  
"How about trying to eat something first. Looks like a tasty bologna with cheese sandwich and an orange"  
"With cheese huh, they go all out don't they. No, I'm fine, you eat though, keep your strength up…I've got a plan Matt….."  
Steve's voice faded as his eyes closed and in moments he was sleeping.  
Matt sat with his back against the cot as he ate half of the sandwich and orange setting the rest off to the side for Steve. He watched the SEAL sleep, his face horribly bruised and swollen. Steve had a plan…Matt just hoped he would have enough strength to pull it off.

************ More to follow – hope you are all enjoying and HAPPY NEW YEAR *************


	15. Chapter 15

The phone rang a half dozen times before Joe answered, "Hello?"  
"Joe…this is Danny. Where are you?"  
"I'm not in Hawaii Danny. Why, is there a problem?"  
He figured the best thing to do was just to say it, no mincing words, "Joe, it's Steve…there's been an accident"  
"What kind of accident? Is he okay?"  
Danny's voice tightened as again the words he spoke seemed unbelievable, "He's dead Joe"  
"What? Oh my God, what happened Danny?"  
Danny told him everything he knew and then Joe asked, "How is Doris?"  
"Well, I don't know. She disappeared again Joe. A couple of weeks ago and we don't have a clue as to where she may be. I was hoping you would have heard from her"

"No, she hasn't called me at all…..I knew their reunion would take some time. They're two of the most stubborn people I've ever known. This is going to destroy her Danny….after all those years apart...and now..."

"Joe, I know Steve was happy she was alive but he was torn Joe. It was hard on him"  
"We never wanted to hurt him Danny, that was never our intent. I loved that boy like he was my own, you know that"  
"And he loved you too Joe but he felt betrayed by both of you"  
"I understand that. That's why I left...…he needed time. They needed time together"  
Danny choked out the words, "And now it's over…..he's gone"  
Joe spoke quietly, "I'll do my best to find her Danny. I'll be in touch"  
They hung up the phone and both men cried. They cried for Steve and for Doris and for everything that had been lost between them. And they cried for their own loss, the loss of a son and a brother.

**50505050505050505050505050**

He sat and stared out at the Ocean not hearing Rachel as she came onto the patio and sat across the table from him.  
A couple of minutes passed before she spoke, "Did you talk to Joe?"  
"Yes. He's going to try to reach Doris. Is Gracie sleeping?"  
"As soon as we laid down she just hugged her pillow and cried herself to sleep. This is not going to be easy on her"  
"I know…"  
"Danny…we need to talk"  
"Sure…what's wrong?"  
"You mean other than all this?"  
Danny grinned weakly, "Rachel…."  
She reached across the table and took his hand, "Walk with me"  
Holding hands he followed her off the deck and into the spacious back yard which was filled playground equipment, a fenced off swimming pool and Gracie's princess fortress that he had built with Steve and Chin's help last year.

She led him to a bench that overlooked the Ocean and still holding hands they sat. He turned to her and inquired, "Rachel, what is it?"  
"Danny with all you're going through, it's probably not fair of me to bring this up now but you need to know"  
She saw his body tense up, his jaw tighten as she continued, "I filed for divorce last week"

"What? Are you sure about this?"  
"Danny….I need you to listen, I'm unsure Danny…."  
He cut in, "If you're unsure Rach…."  
"Danny, please listen. Don't talk, I'll explain" He nodded as she drew in a deep breath and dropped the bombshell, "Danny I'm not sure if Charlie is yours or Stan's"

He felt as if he had been punched in the gut and he took in a deep breath trying to stay composed, "I thought you were sure because of the change with the due date?"

"I thought I was Danny, but he came early…and as he gets older I see more of you in him every day. His mannerisms and he looks just like Gracie did, don't you see that?"

"Yes…I do. But you seemed so certain. Why now Rachel, why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
"I'm so sorry. Danny I wanted to make my marriage work…I didn't want to fail again but I can't fool myself any more. I don't love Stan…..I love you. I never stopped loving you Danny. Please, please forgive me for being so stubbornly foolish. I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you….and Gracie"

Danny couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Rachel I love you with all my heart" As tears streaked his cheeks he added, "I've never stopped loving you either" He reached over and pulled her into a tight embrace and they both sobbed. The range of emotions they had experienced in the last day and a half overwhelmed them both.

They held each other for several minutes until Danny lifted her face from his shoulder and kissed her tenderly.  
As their lips parted he spoke lovingly, "Does Gracie know about the divorce?"  
"No, no…..I wanted to talk to you first"  
"Now about Charlie….."  
"We'll need a DNA test for certain"  
"Absolutely. Does Stan know about your doubts?"  
"Yes, I told him. He's not on a business trip right now Danny…..he needed to get away"  
"And you're certain that you don't want to stay with him?"

"Yes Danny. I've never been more certain about anything. I had decided that no matter what you wanted to do I would not be staying with Stan. The papers have been filed, they're in the house. Do you know what you want to do?"

"Are you kidding me? Didn't that kiss tell you?"  
She smiled at him as her tears continued to fall, "What if Charlie….."

"What? If he isn't biologically mine? Then I'll be the best damn step-father in the world. I would LOVE it if he were mine but no matter what…..I want us to be a family, all four of us"

She ran her hand through his hair as he pulled her back to him and they kissed.  
Once their lips parted they sat quietly looking out over the vast Ocean. Eventually Danny chuckled softly, "Damn McGarrett, he was right again"  
Grinning back she asked, "What do you mean?"  
"Remember the first time you met him? When we staked out your neighbors?"  
"How could I forget"

"He asked me a lot of questions that night about us. He was driving me crazy, but then again he did that quite often. A few nights later we went out for drinks after work and he started up with all the questions again. He wouldn't let up and finally I looked him in the eye and asked him if he was interested in you or something"

"Danny, you didn't!"  
"Well of course I did!" He chuckled adding, "Don't act like that, you're a gorgeous woman"  
"And of course he told you he wasn't interested"  
"Yeah, and he told me why"  
She looked at him inquisitively, "And why may I ask?"

Danny smiled as tears welled in his eyes, "Well, aside from the fact that you were a married woman, he told me we were brothers and he would never take my girl. I reminded him that we had been divorced for several years. I'll never forget his response…..he said our divorce was bullshit, and your marriage was bullshit. He said he'd been around long enough to recognize two people in love. He told me I should reveal my feelings to you"

"And why didn't you Daniel?"  
"Let's just say you're not the only stubborn fool here. How do you want to handle things with Gracie?"  
"We need to get her through this first, and that could take some time. Then I'll have to tell her about Stan and I"  
"How do you think she'll take the news?"  
"She does love him Danny, he's been very good to her"  
"I know that. And I'm very grateful for that"

"She's a very bright girl though. As much as we've tried to put on a happy, loving front…she knows things have not been good between us for some time. Danny, I love you so much"  
Using the same line he constantly used with Gracie, the blonde detective replied, "I love you more"  
With that, they stood and walked arm in arm back into the house.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve slept for almost four hours before Cordoba came back into the basement and gave him another injection of meth.  
Pedro Cordoba took over the next shift as guard and the others moved back upstairs.  
In minutes the drugs had Steve hyped up and Matt was wondering how he could keep the SEAL from moving prematurely against their captors. He knew at least two or three of the thugs would leave for the food run in the morning. As much as McGarrett believed he could take out all six men himself, Matt had to convince him the odds would be much greater if he only faced three or four.

Cordoba stood at the bottom of the stairs with his gun trained on Steve.  
As Steve sat up on the edge of the cot Matt moved quickly to block Cordoba's view of the scissors that Steve had forgot were hiding beneath him. Placing a hand on the SEALS shoulder he used his other hand to reach behind him and slide the scissors towards him. Once the scissors were next to Steve's leg, Matt acted as casual as possible pulling a blanket over the SEAL's lap.

"Well partner, looks like you're all rested up"  
"Yeah….ddamn ddrugs"  
Matt whispered to him, "The scissors are by your leg, cover them" The speaking loud enough for Cordoba to hear he asked, "Are you hungry? I saved you some food"

"Yeah, sounds good buddy. Thank you"  
Matt handed Steve the half sandwich and orange and then said quietly, "Don't do anything stupid Steve…..remember, tomorrow morning"  
"Thursday….."  
"Ssshhhh…." Then for Cordoba's ears Matt said loudly, "No partner, I think today's only Wednesday, not Thursday. It's easy to lose track of time in this shit hole"

Cordoba laughed and said, "Get used to this shit hole, it's going to be your grave boys"  
Matt caught Steve's eyes and again whispered, "Be patient….not now"

Matt watched Steve knowing full well that the meth could cause increased violent behavior and paranoia. He needed to do everything he could to keep Steve from being tied back up. He couldn't let him make a stupid move though….their lives depended on it.

******* Thanks as always for reading. Please remember reviews are greatly appreciated and a great motivation to keep writing ! *****  
**


	16. Chapter 16

About an hour after they returned to the house Danny was talking with Kono on the phone when Gracie's blood curdling screams came from upstairs.

"I'll call you back Kono!" Throwing his phone onto the coffee table he ran, taking the steps two at a time followed closely by Rachel.

"DANNO! DANNO! NO DANNO NO! PPPPLLLEASE NNO DANNO!"

Moments later Danny was sitting on the bed cradling his baby girl whispering softly to her, "Sssshhhh Monkey, Danno's here. Danno's got you…sssshhhhhhhhh relax baby"

Her screaming had woken Charlie and Rachel took the screeching infant from the room closing the door behind her.  
Danny held Gracie to his chest for a long time as she sobbed hysterically. He would catch an occasional word or two as she sobbed for her SuperSEAL, one of her closet friends. How could he be gone she asked? How could God have taken her beloved Uncle Steve? Danny had no answers, he had the same questions. He held his little monkey and he rocked with her for more than half an hour.

Rachel and Charlie came back into the room and sat on the bed next to them.  
"Gracie, are you okay honey?"  
"No Mommy….my heart feels like it's breaking in half"  
"I know sweetheart. Do you remember when Aunt Chloe died? Do you remember how sad I was?"  
Danny watched Rachel intently. Just before moving to Hawaii with Stan her seventeen year old sister Chloe had been hit in a crosswalk by a drunk driver and killed instantly near the family home in upstate New York. Rachel was ten years older than her sister and she had not seen much of her once she had re-located to New Jersey for College and then she had met and married Danny. Rachel had mourned her death so severely that her family had feared she was having a breakdown. Danny reached over and took hold of her hand, squeezing it firmly.

"Yes Mommy I remember"  
"I was so sad because I loved Chloe so much and I never thought I could live without her. It hurt so bad to get up every morning that I sometimes didn't even get out of bed. And then one day, your Daddy here came to visit me and do you know what he said?"

"No, what?"  
"He reminded me of how much Chloe loved me and how much she loved you. And he told me that Chloe would never want me to be sad forever. Chloe would want me to be happy and to make sure that you were happy. Honey, Chloe is always in my heart, she's not gone, ever. She's a very important part of who I am and I will always love her. Do you understand what I'm telling you honey?"

"Yes…..that Uncle Steve will always be in my heart and I will never forget him"  
"That's right. And it's okay to be sad and to cry. But Uncle Steve loved you very much and he would not want you to be sad forever"

"But why would God take Uncle Steve Mommy?"  
"There are things in life that we can never understand. We just have to believe that God needed Steve more than we did. Steve is in heaven now Gracie"

"Uncle Steve took such good care of Danno. Who will take care of my Danno now?"  
Danny grinned at his daughter leaning down and kissing her forehead, "Hey you don't worry about me"  
"But Daddy, if Uncle Steve could die….so could you"

"Monkey, I can't promise you that I won't die because you know that everybody dies. That's why it's so important to show the people we love how much we care about them every day. But I do know a promise that I can make. I can promise you Gracie Williams that your Uncle Steve loved you with all his heart and that you made him so happy. He loved spending time with you baby girl. You brought a peace to him that no one else could. I can't even tell you how many times he told me he loved you"

"He loved you too Danno"  
"I know honey and we both loved him and we'll miss him greatly" Danny's voice choked with emotions as he continued softly, "Like your Mom said, it's okay to cry and it's okay to talk about him because we loved him. SuperSEAL will always be with us baby, always"

"I know Daddy"  
Danny smiled at his little girl as she began to tell her Mother a story about a camping trip they went on several months ago with Chin, Kono and of course Steve. Before sunset on the first night Chin had fallen while hiking and sprained his ankle, Danny had tripped over a branch helping Chin back to camp and had fallen into a patch of poison ivy and Steve had cut himself in the hand while cutting branches for a fire! Kono and Gracie had played nursemaid to the three men all weekend long!

Danny felt Rachel's hand squeeze around his…..they would make it. It was going to be hard but they would make it.

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

Steve finished the lunch and a bottle of water and then as Pedro Cordoba looked on he whispered to Matt, "Follow my lead"

Matt looked on as Steve jockeyed the blanket to make sure the scissors were covered before calling out loudly, "I told you. I'm fine Matthew….now back off!"

Matt stood up and held his hands out, "Hey, I'm just worried about you that's all"  
"Well you should have thought about that before you screwed these guys over. Now we're going to die in this God damned cellar and it's all your fault!"

"Steve, man I'm sorry. You didn't have to come for me, I didn't call you"  
"You're a useless piece of crap you know that" And without warning Steve uncovered himself and lunged his still naked body at Matt. The move caught Matt of guard and as the SEAL's shoulder drove into his mid-section they both fell to the hard ground. Both men gasped in pain as Steve straddled Matt's body pummeling his face with blow after blow.

Steve glanced over briefly at Cordoba, happy to see his move had earned the desired results. The young punk was laughing as he watched the two men at odds and fighting. Steve tried not strike Matt with his full force and after five or six blows he clutched at his own rib cage and breathing heavily he rolled off Matt and while on his knees he gasped, "You're a stupid son-of-a-bitch Matthew"

Steve again glanced at Cordoba before staggering back to the cot. He was careful to keep the scissors hidden as he slid back onto the cot covering himself with the blanket. We couldn't contain the moans of discomfort as pain coursed through his beaten body. His mind was reeling and he struggled to focus his thoughts. Step one, get untied…step two, make the captors over confident….in fact he had even gotten a bonus in finding the weapon…Steve smiled weakly through his pain. Everything was falling into place. He figured he could rest a bit. He ran a hand across his abdomen, his skin was raw and painful from the ropes that had bound him. He knew he had at least some cracked, if not broken ribs on his right side. He hurt horribly but he was used to blocking out pain…..both physical and emotional pain. He closed his eyes, deciding to allow the drugs to help him rest...…..

Matt crawled back towards the cot as Cordoba laughed loudly, "Better watch out Williams…looks like your 'partner' ain't too happy with you, is he?" Matt sat with his back against the cot. He tipped his head back and he too closed his eyes. He remembered Danny's advice to him when they were on the run from Cordoba the first time, _'You do whatever Steve tells you to do and you'll get out of this. He's the best at what he does and he'll do everything he can do to protect you' _He was finally getting used to life in Washington, now if he survived this he knew he would have to be relocated again. Oh shit…...life is so fucking complicated…...hearing soft snoring from the SEAL, Matt too slept.

********* Much action coming soon – hope you're enjoying! **********


	17. Chapter 17

Danny and Rachel decided to take the kids to the zoo for the afternoon to keep Gracie's mind off things. He called and checked in with Kono as Rachel was getting the kids ready. She let him know that Chin had been sleeping most of the day and there was no change in his condition. They made arrangements for all of them to stop up for a visit after their trip to the zoo. Danny then took Charlie out to the car while the girls finished getting ready.

He chatted with the infant while getting him into his carseat, "Charlie my lad, we're waiting on the ladies. Get used to it 'cause you'll be waiting on them your entire life"  
At that moment Gracie came around the back of the car, "Waiting on who Danno?"  
"I was just explaining to your little brother how he will be waiting on you and your Mom his whole life and to just get used to it!"  
"You're silly Danno!"  
His heart warmed as his little girls face lit up with a broad smile and he added, "I'm right about this you know. But you two are always worth waiting for Monkey, I love you"  
Still smiling she responded, "I love you more"

Rachel joined them a few minutes later and as Danny drove from the home a silver Dodge Charger pulled from the curb parked further down the block following them…

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve and Matt woke a couple of hours later as the remaining captors again made their way down the steps. Steve had slid the scissors beneath the blanket and mattress keeping them hidden.  
As the thugs all moved to the drug table Steve talked quietly to Matt, "Hey, are you okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine"  
"I tried be easy on you, but I had to make it look good"  
"Don't worry about it…..you coulda' killed me and I couldn't blame you. How are you?"  
"You don't worry about me…..I'll get you out of here Matt. Follow my lead now…." With that, Steve began to moan loudly and then to flop around as he feigned a seizure.

Matt jumped up and grabbed his shoulders while hollering out, "STEVE, STEVE! OH GOD NO!"  
Steve shook his arms and legs and Matt continued to try to calm him, "Steve…..it's okay…..relax buddy, relax"  
Steve kept this up for several minutes before letting his body relax back onto the cot. Cordoba and the others had moved close to the cot and a couple of them were laughing as Matt turned to face them.

His voice was shaking as he spoke, "Leave him alone…..please….leave him alone"  
"Now Matt you know I can't do that. He's not so tough after all is he?"  
"Cordoba you wanted to teach me a lesson, you have! You'll never hear from me again, I swear…don't kill him….please"  
"Step aside Matt"  
He didn't move quick enough and Moreno hit the side of head knocking him to the ground. Pedro Cordoba moved in and pulling the covers back from Steve's body he grabbed his arm violently and gave him yet another injection as he spoke to the supposedly 'unconscious' man, "Here you go hot shot…..I'm your hero now, ain't I...you need me...you need me"  
Steve moaned softly as he felt the drugs enter his veins, he had to hold out until morning. He could make it, he could make it…...

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny did his best to shut everything out of mind except for Rachel and the kids. He found himself several times just staring at little Charlie. Could this really be his son? He did look so much like Gracie did at that age and Rachel was sure right about his mannerism's. Danny smiled as he watched the little boy wave his arms wildly as he tried to communicate with his Mother and sister. Tears welled in his eyes. Steve would be so happy for him. Oh damn it McGarrett…..why. Why couldn't you just let it be? Damn Wo Fat…that bastard killed Steve. He had just killed him slowly, it took three years for him to die…...

Rachel saw the tears and moved to his side. "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah…..I'm sorry honey"  
"Ssshh, you have nothing to be sorry for" He slipped his arm around her as they watched Gracie. She was kneeling next to the stroller and chatting with her baby brother as they watched the polar bears playing with a large multi-colored beach ball a few feet in front of them.

Rachel reached up and wiped his tears from his cheeks talking softly, "It will be okay Danny. We're here for you….all of us"  
He kissed the top of her head, "Thank You"

They stayed at the zoo until late afternoon and then they stopped at McDonalds for dinner before heading up to the hospital.  
Chin's face lit up when they entered the room. Kono moved to them, hugging Rachel and then kneeling down to embrace Gracie, "Hello sweetheart. How was the zoo?"  
"Really good. Especially the polar bears and there was a mama tiger and three cubs. Charlie really liked the babies" She turned towards Chin, "Is Uncle Chin going to be okay"

"Yes, he is"  
"But he's sad isn't he?"  
Kono again hugged her, "Yes, he's sad….very sad. We all are"  
"Uncle Steve is in heaven Kono. God needed a SuperSEAL" Tears fell from Kono's eyes as she lifted the little girl into her arms and carried her to the bedside. She set Gracie on the edge of the bed and Chin took hold of her hands. Danny had moved to the window and leaving the others, Kono moved to his side.

She placed an hand on his forearm and he turned to embrace her, "Hey honey, how are you doing?"  
"Oh Danny, it's so hard. It's just so unbelievable…Gracie is being very strong"  
"She's doing well. She's having her moments though…..it hasn't really sunk in for her I'm sure. It's going to take a long time"  
"For all of us Danny…for all of us" She noticed his eyes kept turning to the parking lot, "What is it Danny?"  
"Nothing, I'm sure. I'm just being paranoid"  
"Hey, your gut always serves you well. Tell me….what is it?"

"There was an SUV parked outside Rachel's house. They took off when I approached, but I think it was a Government vehicle. Then I noticed two men following us at the zoo and they followed us here, they're in the silver Dodge Charger down there"  
"Danny…..I think someone's watching us too"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I've only left the room three times to go get coffee. Each time I felt I was being watched"  
"You didn't see anyone though?"  
"No, just a feeling. Why would someone be watching us?"  
"I don't know. The Governor's not telling me everything though. I need to stay with Gracie tonight. I'll go see the him first thing in the morning"

"I'm heading home shortly, I need a shower and a good night's sleep. Chin's doing better and I'll come back up here in the morning"  
"Good, you call me if you need anything"  
"I will"  
The two of them then moved to Chin's side. The small Asian man looked up at Danny and extended his hand. Danny grasped it tightly as he leaned in to give the man a hug. "You're looking good buddy"  
"Danny…..thank you for all you did for me"  
"Of course" His voice strained as he continued, "That's what family is for. You okay?"  
"Hanging in there brother. Do we know any more details?"  
"No. I'm going to go see the Governor in the morning and I'll stay in touch"  
"Thank you"

They all visited for about an hour before leaving Chin Ho Kelly alone with his thoughts. He and Kono had cried until they could cry no more. Steve had been so special to both them, 'Ohana'. Chin cried again for this man, this special friend who had given him his ticket back into law enforcement by making him a member of 5-0. Steve had trusted him when no one else did, and now he was gone.

Malia was gone….Steve was gone…it had been a long time since Chin had felt this alone.


	18. Chapter 18

****** THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ACTS OF EXTREME VIOLENCE AND DRUG USAGE - please be forewarned ******

During the night the captors came in three times to inject Steve. As they left the last time, Matt noticed the beginning of daylight as the door shut. He whispered to Steve, "Soon Steve…..it's daylight"  
"It's Thursday Matt?"  
"Ssshhhh…..yeah, soon okay"  
The look of anger in the SEAL's eyes terrified Matt as Steve simply stated, "I'm ready"

Matt kept his eyes trained on Moreno as Steve stirred restlessly on the cot. About an hour passed before the other thugs came back down the stairs. Sebastian Cordoba looked over at his captives stating to Pedro Ocinco and Bruno Alvarez, "Tie him back up while we're gone"

Ocinco spoke up, "No just leave him. He ain't been no trouble"  
"And I don't WANT any trouble from him, now tie him up"  
"NO" Pedro Ocinco moved in front of Corboda and stood nose-to-nose with him, "This is about MY Father and we're going to do this MY way!"

Cordoba was fuming, "Don't you push me boy"  
"Boy? Boy? You're calling me boy? I thought you said the cartel belonged to me and Daniel and Mateo?"  
"Pedro, son the organization IS for the three of you, when you're ready"  
"Well I say I'm ready and I have a say too, WE have a say….you go to town and you leave the three of us here. We can handle them"  
Sebastian Cordoba hated being told what to do but he should have seen this coming. Pedro was pushing back and he needed to keep peace in the organization. He was going to have to give a bit here.

"Alright but you listen, and you listen good. This man is military trained and he's dangerous. He killed your cousin Freddy and the others single handedly and he's the reason your Father is in prison"  
"We know all that, we aren't stupid!"  
"Fine, I trust you. Now we'll be back in about four hours. You don't take your guns off him for one damn minute!"

With no further words spoken the three older men went up the stairs leaving Pedro, Daniel and Mateo alone with their captives.

As Sebastian Cordoba moved towards the black SUV Moreno hollered "Are you crazy leaving them here alone?"  
Cordoba turned, gun drawn and pointed at his two muscle men.  
"If you don't like how I run our FAMILY organization you can walk. Otherwise, you do as you're told and you keep your mouths shut"  
Moreno and Alvarez looked at each other before turning and following their leader to the vehicle.

Back downstairs, Pedro looked at his cousins, "Mateo can you take the first shift up top? We've got it down here"  
"Sure thing"  
As the cousins chatted at the bottom of the stairs Matt looked at Steve. The SEAL cracked open his eyes and as they connected with Matt's a smile creased Steve's lips and he whispered, "It's game time Matthew"

**50505050505050505050505050**

Matt kept his eyes on the two young thugs as he waited for Steve to make his move.

About twenty minutes passed and then it happened. Steve began to seize and Matt knew this was it. He jumped up and grabbed thee SEAL's shoulders pinning him to the bed. This was only temporary though as Steve began to moan and gasp loudly, pushing back against the hands the restrained him.

Matt spotted the scissors which Steve held in the palm of his right hand and placing one hand over Steve's to help conceal them, he partially turned his body calling out "HELP ME, PLEASE HELP ME HOLD HIM DOWN!"

The two young men moved to the cot cautiously and Steve continued to flail and fight Matt's grasp.  
Matt pleaded, "COME ON, HELP ME"  
Pedro and Daniel moved to the other side of the cot. Pedro propped his gun up against the concrete wall as Matt kept talking, guiding Steve. "STEVE, HANG ON JESUS CHRIST HANG ON! GRAB HIS SHOULDERS PLEASE!"

Keeping hold of Steve's right hand, Matt moved off the cot as Pedro placed an arm across McGarrett's chest. Daniel stood closely behind Pedro, inches from the wall.

"Just keep his shoulders pinned Pedro" Matt squeezed and released Steve's hand quickly and the SEAL took the cue. As Pedro leaned over him, Steve moved with catlike speed and in one motion he threw his right hand up impaling Pedro Ocinco in the neck with the scissors while at the same time pushing his body up and driving himself and Ocinco into Daniel Cordoba. Daniel was able to raise his gun and fire as his body hit wall. Blood was spraying from the ruptured jugular vein in Ocinco's neck as Steve chopped at Daniel's arm while flinging the dying Ocinco to the ground. In one swift motion Steve grabbed Daniel's head and snapped his neck just as he heard the door open. Matt was on the ground on the other side of the cot from him and Steve flipped the mattress over to cover him while hollering for Matt to stay down. Mateo Cordoba descended the staircase firing an AK47 blindly in their direction. Several bullets tore into the mattress as it fell to the ground on top of Matt. Having grabbed Daniel's gun, Steve dove to the hard ground as he fired three shots striking his target each time, catapulting him backwards and over the hand rail and dropping him eight feet to the hard floor.

Glancing quickly at Daniel and Pedro he confirmed they were dead and then he moved slowly towards the stairs. His body was beaten horribly but the drugs coursing through his veins gave him an feeling of unbelievable strength but also intense anger. As he looked down at the bloodied and broken body of the young thug, the sight which typically would have sickened him made him feel euphoric. Steve McGarrett stepped back and he screamed, he dropped to his knees into the pool of the young man's blood and he screamed as his body shook. Throwing the gun to the side he brought his hands to face and he sobbed. This torment lasted only minutes before his brain cleared and he remembered Matt.

"MATT! MATT!" He raced over to the mattress continually hollering for Matt as he pulled it off him.  
Steve gasped as he looked down at Matt's body. He was face down and an ever growing pool of blood covered the ground beneath his body. "No, No…Matt….oh God NO!"  
Kneeling at his side he felt for a pulse, relieved to find it strong and steady. He ran over to the table and grabbed two bottles of water and he stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes fell on the large amount of meth and paraphernalia before him. He mumbled softly to himself, "Get a grip McGarrett, he needs you" He raced back, stopping at the shelf where he grabbed a few towels before returning to Matt's side. The young man was beginning to regain consciousness and Steve gently rolled him onto his side.

He knelt at Matt's side and ripped his shirt open. A quick glance over his body revealed one hit to his right side but no exit wound. The bleeding was not too bad and his breathing was steady. He tore a towel and then rinsing the wound with water he pressed a folded section of the towel onto the wound. As he applied pressure Matt woke, "OOHH SSHIT…HHURTS MAN, SSTOP"

Still holding the towel firmly, Steve leaned up placing his other hand on Matt's shoulder, "Hey buddy, relax okay. We're going to get out of here"  
"WWhat happened?"  
"You got hit buddy. It doesn't look too bad though"  
"Oh yeah…..well...it hurts like hell"  
Steve grinned and patted the injured man's cheek, "I know. I need you to stay as still as you can for me okay?"  
"Uh hhhuhh…..nno problem….hhey, you okay?"  
"Me? I'm fine. I told you not to worry about me"  
"You got them all?"  
"Yes. They're all dead. You did a great job partner. Now let me fix you up"  
"Okay"

Matt handled the pain well as Steve poked and prodded and then bandaged him tightly.  
Then cradling his head Steve brought a bottle of water to Matt's lips, "Just a few sips Matt, go slow"  
He then gently placed his head onto the ground, "Matt, let me go check things out. I'll be right back. You don't move now"  
"Gotcha Doc"

Steve moved quickly, first dressing and then as he stood next to the table and the drugs….the fucking drugs... he made a very rash decision. As he rolled up his sleeve he was sweating profusely. He stared at the numerous injection marks on his forearm. He didn't want to do this…oh God he knew he SHOULDN'T do this, but he had to. He had to stay at his peak alertness, he couldn't be coming down…..not now…..when was the last time they shot him up? Jesus, he couldn't remember. He thought it had been several hours...

He'll take a gram….just one more gram until he could get Matt out of here.  
One more gram, that's all he needs...As he loaded the vial his hand shook. Then tying off his arm and breathing heavily the needle hovered for several seconds as the SEAL struggled with his decision. As he plunged the needle into his vein he cursed himself softly over and over again, "Fuck…oh fuck McGarrett, fuck FUCK"

Once done he loaded two more vials putting them along with the rubber tubing into a pocket of his cargo pants. Then after slamming down a bottle of water he picked the gun off the floor and made his way up the stairs to check things out.

********* MUCH MORE TO FOLLOW – HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING ! ********  
**


	19. Chapter 19

Mateo had left the door wide open. Steve moved cautiously letting his eyes adjust to the sunlight before stepping outside. They were being held in what he would describe as an underground bunker. If they had been locked down there and left, they would never have been found. It must have taken months of steady work to build this. Off to the right in a small clearing in the woods were two tents and a campfire. Tire tracks led from the camp and there were no signs of anyone. He took a deep breath and his body shivered. It was a nice day but certainly not the same warm weather as in Hawaii. He closed his eyes and focused on what he needed to do. He wasn't going to get far on foot with Matt injured. He was going to have to wait for the others to return and ambush them. He would pick them off as they returned. After scoping out his surroundings he decided to take cover in the heavily wooded area directly across from the campsite. He figured that would give him the best view and good access to the vehicle when they returned. First he went to the tents and dumping one of the men's duffel bags he filled it with bottles of water, some food and medical supplies. In the second tent he hit the jackpot, finding three AK47's, two shotguns, six pistols and an ample supply of ammunition for all of the weapons. Moving quickly he transferred everything over to his spot in the forest and then raced back down to Matt.

He was awake and coherent as his hand grasped the bandaging covering the wound.  
Steve knelt at Matt's side placing a hand on his shoulder, "How you doing partner?"  
"'M okay…doesn't hurt too bad"  
"Good" Steve moved down checking to make sure the bandaging was still tight while explaining his plans.  
"Steve, are you sure about this? I can walk"  
"You can walk, but you're going to be slow and I promise you won't get too far. I was knocked out when they lugged me back here. How about you? Do you have any idea how deep we are into these woods?"

"Ummmm yeah, I was blindfolded but we drove about twenty minutes off-road"  
"There's no way you'll be walking out of here. I'm pretty sure I've got some broken ribs and I don't think I could carry you the whole way. Our best shot is for me to take them out and then we can drive out of here"

Matt grinned adding, "Whatever you say boss. Hey….how are you feeling?"

"You're worse than Danny you know that? Here take another drink" Steve lifted his head and helped take a few sips of water and then asked, smiling "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"Oh yeah"  
Steve moved him slowly, first to a sitting position "We've got some time Matt, take a few breaths" As his breathing eased Steve talked to him quietly "Matt I'm going to need you to help me with a cover story once we're out of here. Will you do that for me?"

"Cover story? What the hell are you talking about?"  
"The drugs….no one can know what happened down here. I need you to promise me that you'll tell nobody, not even Danny"  
"Steve…..this is crazy man. It's not like you took that crap by choice and I'll tell everyone that"

"NO, NO, you don't understand. I'm one of the leading law-enforcement officials in Hawaii. If anyone finds out about this I'm finished! Everything I worked for will be gone….." Steve's voice cracked with emotion as he continued, "Matt, please… it's all I ask"

"Steve, you're going to need help…."  
"No, I'm fine…I'll be fine. I can beat this on my own"  
"Steve, you're smart enough to know better. You're hooked"  
"No, I'm going to be fine….I can do this myself, I have to do this myself"  
"Damn it McGarrett…."  
Steve interrupted him, "Matt, I need you to trust me. NO ONE can know about this!"  
Matt shook his head, "Let Danny help, at least let Danny help you"  
Steve looked into the injured man's eyes as he spoke softly, "No one Matt…..we have to move now"  
Matt responded quietly, "Fine…..we'll talk about this later"  
Steve slowly helped Matt up to his feet.

His breaths were pained and Steve held him firmly, keeping him steady. "Deep breaths buddy, take your time" They stood quietly for several minutes before Steve asked, "Are you ready?"  
"Yeah…..let's go babe"  
Steve chuckled, "You sound just like Danno" Flinging Matt's arm over his shoulder and holding him tightly around the waist the men moved slowly across the room towards the stairs.

As they reached the stairs they paused for a moment, "Catch your breath Matt, you're doing great"  
"Okay…'m good, 'm good''

**50505050505050505050505050**

Back in Oahu, Danny woke and turning his head he looked at his two girls. Gracie had requested to sleep with both her parents last night and there was no way for them to refuse her. She was curled up on the bed, her Mother's arm protectively wrapped around her. It had been a long night. Gracie woke three times with nightmares, screaming and crying for her Uncle Steve. They had comforted and calmed her, together. He turned and propped himself up on his elbow and he watched them sleep. After a short time he heard Charlie's babbling coming from the baby monitor on the nightstand next to Rachel. He rolled out of bed, threw on a t-shirt and after shutting off the monitor he left the room closing the door quietly behind him.

Moving across the hall he grinned broadly at the beautiful little boy standing in his crib, bouncing up and down and calling out happily for his 'Mama'. As he neared the crib, Charlie giggled and held out his arms. "Good Morning little man" Danny picked him up and carried him to the changing table. After changing his diaper, he cleaned the boy up and dressed him before taking him downstairs.

After feeding Charlie he made a pot of coffee and then they moved into the living room. As Charlie played on the floor, Danny called Kono.  
"Danny, good morning"  
He sensed a tension in her voice, "Good Morning, hey are you okay?"  
"Danny, I'm being followed"  
"Are you sure?" He responded as he moved to the blinds and looked outside.  
"Yeah, I'm sure"  
"There's an SUV out in front again here too. Where are you?"  
"I'm actually only about half a mile from Rachel's"  
"Drive here Kono. Pull into the driveway. I'm going to find out what in the hell's going on here"  
"I'll be there in a few minutes"

Unsure as to who these men were, Danny quickly carried Charlie upstairs placing him back into his crib. He kissed the baby's cheek, "Hey buddy can you stay quiet for me and let your Mama sleep?" Charlie was cooing and playing with a stuffed Tigger as Danny closed the door and raced back down the stairs.

Grabbing his gun he opened the security gate and moved outside into the front yard. Moments later Kono pulled up. As she pulled into the driveway he quickly moved through the gate. The SUV that was following Kono pulled up along side him as he drew his gun.  
"STOP, DON'T MOVE YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!"  
The driver stopped and raised his hands, "Hey there Williams, be careful with that gun"  
"How do you know my name. Who in the hell are you?"  
"We're just doing our job"  
"Your job?" Who sent you?" He was met with silence and he again asked, "WHO IN THE HELL SENT YOU?"

At this moment the two men who were in the vehicle that had been parked in front of Rachel's, exited with their hands raised. Kono held a gun on them as Danny continued with the others, "NOW TELL US, WHO IN THE HELL SENT YOU?"

"Governor Denning. We're on assignment to protect you"  
Danny glanced at Kono, a look of shock on his face. "Get out of the vehicle and keep your hands where I can see them"  
The men did as instructed and then Danny asked, "Protect us from who?"  
"I don't know"  
Danny then addressed all four men, "Nice and easy now, show us your badges"  
They did as requested and then Danny pulled out his cell phone and dialed the Governor.

"Officer Williams?"  
"Governor, the games are over! What in the hell is going on here? Why are you having us followed?"  
There was a slight pause before the Governor responded, "Danny….listen to me. I need you to come in and I'll tell you everything, but those men need to stay on their assignment. Believe me Danny, this is no game"

Danny took a deep breath before responding, "I'll be right there Sir"  
Kono moved closer, "What's going on?"  
"Just a minute Kono" Then turning to the men he stated, "Please continue your assignment unless you hear from the Governor. Thank you men"

Danny then turned and walked towards the house with Kono following him closely.  
As they entered the house she asked, "Danny, what's going on?"  
"I don't know yet. The Governor wants to see me"  
"Why are we being followed?"  
"I'll find out. Kono, can you stay here until I get back"  
"Of course"  
He excused himself and after using the bathroom he retrieved Charlie and still hearing no sound coming from the girls he made his way back downstairs.

The little boy squealed at the sight of his Auntie Kono and she gladly took the child from Danny's arms.  
"He just ate. Rachel and Gracie are still sleeping"  
"How's Gracie doing?"  
"It was a long night…..she's taking it hard"

"She'll be okay Danny, we'll all see to that. Charlie and I will play here, go ahead and go"  
"I'll be back soon"

Danny looked at the men in the SUV's as he drove from the house and one of them peeled away and followed him...…_.'what in the hell was going on?'_

******* Much more to follow – hope you're still enjoying – Thanks for reading and reviewing, it is greatly appreciated *******


	20. Chapter 20

It took almost thirty minutes to make it up the stairs.  
Steve stopped them a couple of steps from the top, "Okay Matthew, you're doing great. Let's give your eyes a minute to adjust to the light. How do you feel?"

"Pretty ggood…."  
"I'll have you off your feet in just a few minutes"  
As they stood, Steve's mind drifted. How was he ever going to explain this to the Governor? He had to get off this junk and no one could know…..no one but Matt could EVER know about this. If he told Danny it would be over. Danny would never intentionally do anything to hurt him or endanger his career, but he knew the Jersey detective all too well. Danny would have him in a hospital and then in re-hab before he could even argue the point with him. Danno…..his dearest friend. His only concern would be to get him help, but there was much more to consider here. He figured he would tell Denning he needed a couple of weeks off and then he would go to the shed and kick this fucking habit on his own and nobody would be the wiser. There was no other way around this...He and his Dad had found a rickety old shed near a creek where they spent a lot of time fishing. They had taken shelter in there during a couple of rainstorms and although it was old and dirty, it had a couple of wooden bed frames that they had thrown their sleeping bags onto. It also had a wood burning stove so he would be able to stay warm. He knew the withdrawl symptoms he was facing and this place was very secluded and would be perfect.

His thoughts were interrupted as Matt asked, "Hey Steve….can you hear mmee? You aalright?"  
"Yeah buddy, you ready?"  
"Uh huh, let's go"  
Once above ground the men inched slowly towards their spot of cover directly across from the tents. Matt's groans grew and his body was shaking in pain as Steve eased him onto the ground. His back was up against a large tree with the trunk giving him cover from any potential return gunfire. Steve wet a cloth and dabbed at Matt's sweat drenched brow. Feeling his forehead it was obvious to the SEAL that infection was setting in and he was feverish.

"Hang on for me partner, I'll be right back" Carrying an AK47 at his side Steve rushed over to the tents and grabbed a sleeping bag, blanket and pillow. Once back at Matt's side he helped him take a small drink of water and then he laid him onto the sleeping bag. He gently placed his head on the fluffy pillow and then after briefly checking the wound he tucked the blanket tightly around the injured man. "There you go, you try to rest while I take care of business okay?"  
"Uhh huh.…'m ggood"  
"I know you are buddy. You're doing great" After squeezing Matt's hand he turned his attention to the guns and as he knelt on the ground he noticed how shaky he was.

Holding his hands out in front of him he struggled to control the shaking. Running a hand across his beaten and bruised face he mumbled softly to himself as he watched Matt, "Get it together Steve…..you gotta get him out of here. Hang on Jack…you hang on. I'm going to get you out of here kid…..I promise"

The hallucinations had started and in the SEAL's drug hazed mind he did not see Matt Williams, he saw young Jack Lynch injured and they were alone in the South African jungle. Jack was injured and he had to get him help. He wiped the sweat from his forehead... shit he was hot. He moved quickly and loaded all the weapons. Once done he downed a bottle of water and then he moved a few feet away and urinated. He knelt down at Matt's side and noticed his fever was rising. He squeezed the injured man's shoulder and spoke to him softly, "Hang on for me Jack, the guys will be here soon to help us"

He then moved back to the weapons and waited, ready to attack…

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

Danny's mind was racing as he drove towards the Governor's office. Pulling into the parking lot he turned to the men tailing him and in typical smart-ass William's fashion he waved to them before turning and entering the building.

Governor Denning's secretary looked up as Danny neared her desk. She motioned with her arm towards the waiting room, "Please have a seat Mr. Williams, the Governor will be with you shortly"  
Without slowing Danny added, "No Carmen…..he'll see me now"  
She called out to him as she moved from behind her desk to follow him, "MR. WILLIAM'S STOP! HE'S ON A CONFERENCE CALL!"

Danny did not pause or knock as he simply barged into Denning's office.  
Sam Denning stood from behind his desk, speaking calmly "Senator, I apologize Sir but I'm going to need to call you back…..Yes Sir, thank you"

As he hung up the phone Carmen was apologizing, "Governor, I'm so sorry….."  
"Carmen, it's fine. Please don't let us be interrupted"  
Blushing, she nodded and stated "Yes Sir" as she turned and left the office.  
As the door shut Danny wasted no time, "I want to know everything, NO MORE FUCKING GAMES! I want all the info you have on the crash and I'm leaving today to bring Steve home…"

The Governor interrupted him, "Danny….stop. I need you to listen to me"  
Danny's arms flailed and he was beet red as his rant continued, "Why are you having us followed?"  
"Sit down Danny"  
"I'm NOT going to sit down and I'm NOT going to calm down!"  
"Fine, fine….JUST LISTEN!...Steve is alive, or at least he was when I saw him last"  
Danny's head was spinning and he felt light-headed. He grabbed the nearby chair and eased himself into it. His voice was shaking as he asked, "When was that?"

"When I put him on my plane"  
"So he did go after Wo-Fat?"  
"No…..he flew to Washington State to search for your brother"  
Danny was shaking as the shock of Denning's words began to sink in, "Matthew? What are you talking about?" Denning moved a few feet away and poured Danny a cup of coffee. As he handed it to him Danny added, "I have a feeling I may need something a lot stronger than this…..."

Governor Denning pulled a chair up across from the detective and he told him everything he knew. Danny remained silent, sipping the hot coffee as his stomach churned and his mind raced. He listened as Denning told him of Matt's kidnapping and that they believed that he being held by Sebastian Cordoba and five other men. He was told about the meeting with WitSec and of Cordoba's call to the FBI with his demands. Denning told him of Steve's concerns and of his insistence of handling this with no help….even from the CSI. The Governor ended by stating, "He was convinced that his best chance of rescuing Matt would be if he went in alone"

Danny was shaking his head and he struggled to stay composed, "Have you heard from him since he left?"  
"No, not a word. The plan was for him to contact my pilot, Jason Korry as soon as he had Matt safe, but as of two hours ago Jason hasn't heard from him"

Danny's voice was soft and shakeng as he continued "How could you let him do this Sam? Go off alone like this, with no back-up? You know how brutal the Ocinco cartel is…..DAMN IT, what were you thinking?"

"Now Danny I want you to think about this. Cordoba would only release Matt if we gave them the money and if you and Steve delivered it"  
"YES, ME AND STEVE! Why didn't you tell me? He's MY brother! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Steve didn't want you involved…"  
Danny interrupted him, "HE'S MY BROTHER, not…not Steve's"  
"Danny, please hear me out. He didn't go into great detail with me but he told me that you're in a custody battle and he was afraid this could harm your case…..Danny, he's trying to protect you…and your daughter"

Danny ran his hand across his face, "He'll need to answer to me for his decision but for now I've got to find them. I need to talk to Korry and how soon can a chopper be ready?"  
"If you think for one minute that I'll let you take off without back-up you're crazier than McGarrett"  
Danny grinned, "Yeah, well he kind of rubs off on you after a while"

Denning continnued, "I can have a chopper ready in an hour. I'll call the airfield and let Korry know to meet you in Washington. I need you to contact Sergeant Lukela and arrange a team to travel with you" Before Danny could object, he added "A back-up team is non-negotiable. If you argue with me William's you will not get on the plane, DO YOU HEAR ME?"

Danny stood and setting his coffee onto the desk he turned to the Governor, shaking his hand "Thank you Governor. I hear you and I'll see you on an hour"

Governor Denning watched the young man leave his office. He felt guilty about what he had done in keeping this from him but he certainly wasn't going to compound his mistake and let Williams search for Steve alone. Sam Denning trusted Steve McGarrett explicitly. He had seen the SEAL perform so many acts of bravery over the last three years that he would never question him…..but should he have? Knowing how much McGarrett loved his 5-0 team and how he would do anything to keep them safe he hoped and prayed that he had not sent Steve McGarrett on a mission that would prove to be his last.

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

Danny sat in the parking lot for several minutes. His hands were clenched tightly on the steering wheel of his Camero, his knuckles ghostly white. He was shaking as tears slid down his cheeks. He couldn't even possibly explain the range of emotions he was feeling. _'Steve was alive …thank God, Steve was alive!' _He was so grateful and so unbelievably happy for this and yet he also felt so angry and betrayed. And Matt….oh dear God... were they alive? Either one of them? He had to keep it together now and believe that they were both alive, and he had to find them. He would deal with SuperSeal's 'choices' once they were all safe and the Ocinco/Cordoba cartel were finally done away with. Wiping his eyes Danny drove towards Rachel's house.

********** HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING ! MORE SEAL ACTION IN THE NEXT CHAPTER ! **********


	21. Chapter 21

Danny had calmed down by the time he pulled into Rachel's driveway. Before going inside he phoned Duke and after giving him a brief explanation of what had occurred, Duke agreed to meet him at the air strip in an hour with a team of men who would accompany him to Washington to search for Steve. He entered the house grateful to find Kono and Rachel both in the living room with Charlie, and Gracie nowhere in sight.

"Good Morning Rachel. Is Gracie still sleeping?"  
"Yes. The poor little dear is exhausted"  
"I'm glad she's sleeping…I have some news…" A huge smile crossed the man's face and tears fell from his eyes as he gave the ladies the wonderful news, "Steve….he's alive…he's alive"

Kono jumped off the couch, "WHAT? How Danny?" They moved quickly towards each other and embraced, "Oh my God Danny, oh my God!"  
They parted and he took her face in his hands. His voice was shaking and he smiled as tears of happiness streaked both their cheeks. As they moved to the couch Rachel stood and hugged Danny stating softly, "This is wonderful sweetheart, I'm so happy"

Danny sat between them on the couch and as Charlie played at their feet with blocks. He told them of everything Denning had shared with him, and of their plans to leave within the hour.  
Rachel squeezed his hand tightly, "Should we go tell Gracie?"  
Danny looked at her seriously, "Not yet Rach…."  
"Danny she's so sad, she needs to know"  
"Honey we haven't heard from him and until we have him back…..until we're sure he's okay…..we can't tell her"  
She shook her head slowly, "You're right"  
Kono then added, "Danny, how about if I stop by the hospital and fill Chin in on everything. Then I'll stop by my house and pack a bag"  
The two agents stood and embraced and Danny added, "I'll pick you up at your place in about forty five minutes"  
After quick goodbyes to Rachel and Charlie, Kono left.

Danny smiled at the little boy and then turned to his ex, "I love you Rachel"  
She leaned in and kissed him tenderly, "I love you too Danny. You go now. Take care of Matthew and bring Steve home. We'll be here waiting for you"  
After peeking in on his sleeping daughter and a final hug and kiss from Rachel, Danny left, praying that they would not only find Steve and Matt alive….but also praying that he could find a way to forgive Steve, his partner…his best friend.

As he raced home to grab a duffel bag he called Denning to let him know they were running about twenty miles behind schedule. Denning let him now that they would be met in Washington by WitSec and CIA agents who were mapping out their rescue plan. Danny looked down at his phone and he dialed Steve's cell. As it rolled straight to voice mail the sound of his partners voice sent a shiver down his spine. His voice quivered as he spoke, "Steve…..partner I don't know what to even say to you. These last few days….. thinking you were dead…." His voice choked with emotion as he continued, "God Steve…why?" He paused for a a few seconds composing himself, "We're coming for you Steve. If you need help, you hold on babe….we're coming for you….." He hung up the phone as he pulled into his driveway and wiping tears from his eyes he raced into the house.

After getting a few things into a bag he was back in his Camero and driving towards Kono's and as he drove he dialed Joe.  
"Danny…I'm sorry I haven't been able to locate Doris yet"  
"That's good Joe. If we're lucky, you won't need to deliver that news"  
"What are you talking about Danny?"  
"He's alive Joe"  
Danny heard the older man sigh deeply, "Oh thank God. What happened?"  
As he pulled into Kono's driveway he explained everything to Joe and promised to keep him updated.

As she pulled the door closed Danny asked, "How's Chin?"  
She smiled at him, "He's doing a lot better now"  
Danny grinned back at her, "I'd say we all are"  
Soon the two detectives were at the airstrip and boarding a private plane along with Duke Lukela and four of HPD's finest.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve held the gun while watching the clearing, listening intently…waiting. Every so often he glanced over at Matt. His mind was hazy and he felt sick. He needed another fucking hit and he was fighting the urge with everything he had…..but he had to be ready. He had to be ready or they would both be dead. "Damn it…..God damn it….fight it…." But he couldn't fight it and in his tortured mind where one minute he was with Matt Williams and fighting a drug cartel and the next minute he was in the jungles of South Africa struggling to keep Jack Lynch alive. Setting the gun onto the ground he reached a shaking hand into his pocket and pulled out the meth and needle. "Just one gram more…..one gram" His hand was shaking horribly as he drew the meth from the vial and then breathing heavily and sweating profusely he plunged the needle into his arm. He was on his knees with his head tipped back, his eyes searching the skies for guidance. Steve's entire body quivered as the drugs coursed through his veins. Oh God he hated this…..

About forty minutes later Steve heard them coming… he glanced over at Matt and then took up his position. He had a rifle and an AK47 at his side and leaning up against the tree he steadied himself aiming the rifle at the clearing. As the jeep pulled up and came to a stop, the SEAL waited…..Cordoba was driving with Moreno next to him and Alvarez behind him. Alvarez stepped out first and Steve waited, patience…..patience…. he waited until Cordoba exited the vehicle and luckily Moreno was coming towards the others from around the front of the jeep as Steve fired. His first two shots caught the captors off guard and the SEALS shots were literally 'dead on' Cordoba and Alvarez both dropped to the ground, dead…. as bullets ripped into their heads.

Moreno was able to get several shots off and the bullets hit the tree that concealed the SEAL. At the moment the return fire stopped Steve grabbed the AK47 and quickly stepping from the tree he fired rapidly, cutting Moreno down in a hail of bullets. He then moved cautiously towards the men and after confirming they were all dead he ran to check on Matt. The injured man was still unconscious and his breathing was rapid. Steve moved quickly placing the guns into the jeep. Going back to the tent he threw a first aid kit and some food and water into a back pack and then grabbing another sleeping back he moved back to the vehicle setting up a makeshift bed for Matt on the back seat. At one point he moved too quickly and a sharp pain shot across his abdomen and he couldn't breathe. He dropped to his knees on the hard ground and grabbed his ribcage gasping for air. The drugs constantly pumping through his system had succeeded in keeping his pain level down from the beatings he had endured but as he sucked air into his lungs he knew his ribs were more than bruised. He would have to be careful not to puncture his lungs or other organs.

Due to the drugs he didn't realize how severe his paranoia was becoming. In his mind he was thinking fairly clearly right now as he was just as high on adrenaline now as he was on the damn meth. He sat back, leaning against the jeep as he went over his plan in his mind again. He needed to get Matt help and fast but he couldn't go into the hospital himself….he couldn't be seen by a Doctor or his drug use would be exposed. He needed to get back to Hawaii and get to the shed. It was the only place he could go…he had to get there. To get Jason Korry so he could fly him out of here he was going to have to think of something to tell Denning. _'Damn it McGarrett, you sure got yourself into a fucking mess this time' '_Pushing his battered body up from the ground he grabbed another duffel bag from the tent and he descended down into dungeon where they had been held and tortured. It was hot and sticky and the smell of death enveloped the room. Steve pulled the front of his shirt up over his mouth as he made his way across the room to the table…to the drugs. His jaw was clenched tightly and he hated himself for the weakness that he felt. The craving for this drug was overwhelming and he had to get out of here. Placing about half the drugs and paraphernalia into the bag he moved quickly back up the stairs to the jeep.

After setting the bag on the front passenger seat Steve made his way back to Matt.  
He knelt at Matt's side placing the back of his hand on the man's forehead, waking him. "Hey kid, how are you doing?"  
"Not fffee….ling too ggood"  
"It's time to get you some help okay?"  
"Yeah…..we got…..tta get Coordob….bba"  
"I took care of them partner"  
"They'rre ddead?"

"Yeah, so just let me take care of you now" He pulled the sleeping bag and blanket aside, "Okay Matt let's sit you up first"  
Matt moaned loudly as Steve sat him up leaning him against the tree. "OHHH SSHHITT…."  
Steve held his shoulders firmly, "Relax buddy…take deep breaths, relax….."

Once his breathing settled, Steve helped him to his feet and holding him tightly they slowly made their way to the jeep. Matt looked down at the three dead men lying within feet of each other next to the vehicle, quietly stating, "Jesus Christ Steve"  
"Don't worry about them Jack, I'll get you out of here kid…..I promise"  
"Steve? Hey buddy…it's Matt…Matt Williams…..….you okay?"  
"Yeah, yeah…..sorry man. I'm good"

Matt looked into the SEAL's eyes. He knew enough about drugs and addiction to know that Steve was in trouble. The man's face was swollen and bruised from the beatings and his pupils were severely dilated. His confusion was obvious. Steve was going to need a lot of help. With Steve's help moments later he was laying on the back seat of the jeep, his head resting on a soft pillow and blankets were tucked firmly around him. He hurt…..God he hurt, but he was alive…..thanks to Steve. He closed his eyes and surrendered to the darkness that enveloped him.

Steve leaned against the side of the vehicle trying to catch his breath. He had to keep a clear head. He was in Washington and he needed to get help for Matt and then get back to Hawaii….A short time later, he was behind the wheel and driving away from the bloodied scene.

********* MUCH MORE TO FOLLOW - please let me know what you think ! ***********


	22. Chapter 22

Steve had to drive fairly slowly as the makeshift road was extremely uneven and rough. Matt remained unconscious but several times he moaned loudly as his body was jarred about. They got to the clearing of the forest about forty minutes later and Steve parked the jeep. Looking back and seeing Matt was still out he exited the jeep and moved to the area where he had left his bag before being taken into the woods. Grabbing the bag he sat on a fallen log and pulled out his cellphone. Seeing he had a message he put the phone to his ear and listened to his partner's plea…hearing the sense of distraught in Danny's voice tore into his heart. His voice cracked with emotion as he talked softly, trying to convince himself "Okay...he knows...I did the right thing. I did what I had to do. He'll forgive me…" He sat quietly for several moments deep in thought before deciding what he had to do.

Moving back to the jeep he checked on Matt and then after giving himself another hit of meth he began driving south, unsure how far he was from the nearest hospital.

He had been driving about twenty minutes when he began seeing road signs of towns up ahead. He pulled into a small roadside gas station and approached a young attendant who was checking the oil on another car.  
"Excuse me, can you tell me where the nearest hospital is?"  
The young man turned and was shocked at the sight of the beaten man standing before him, "Christ buddy…are you okay?"  
"Yeah, 'm fine. Please, how far?"  
"About twenty miles straight south. You'll start seeing signs in a few minutes. Do you want me to call for help brother?"  
"I'm good. Thank You" The young man watched Steve as he moved back to the jeep and sped away.

A short time later Steve pulled in front of the emergency room entrance at St. Luke's Hospital in Everett. As he opened the back door to access Matt, two paramedics came towards him. "Sir, do you need help?"  
Steve looked to them as he responded, "Yes, please. We need a stretcher" As the men disappeared back into the hospital Steve moved quickly grabbing Matt's wallet putting it into his pocket.

"Sssteve?"  
"Yeah buddy, we're at the hospital. You're going to be fine now…I promise"  
"You tttoo….."  
"Of course. I'll be fine. You don't worry about me. When you wake up Danny will be here okay"  
"Dannnyy…...I mmiss hhim"  
"He misses you too kid"  
"Steve...thannk yyou"  
"No problem buddy. You just do what the Doctorstell you now okay"  
"Uuhh huhh"  
The paramedics returned and the three men worked as gently as possible transferring Matt onto the gurney. Steve followed the men a few steps and once assured that their full attention was on Matt he slipped back and moving quickly to the jeep he drove away.

**505050505050505050505050**

He drove a few miles from the hospital before pulling into a grocery store parking lot. He pulled Jason Korry's business card from his bag and dialed the pilot's number.  
"Jason, this is Steve McGarrett"  
"McGarrett! Are you alright?"  
"Yes, I'm good. Where are you?"  
"In my motel room"  
"Where's that?"  
"King's Motel, room 18. It's about five minutes west of the airstrip"  
"Great. Can you be ready to fly out of here in about an hour?"  
"I need to talk to the Governor first and clear things"  
"I already spoke with him before calling you. He was heading into a meeting and won't be available for a couple of hours. He gave the okay to fly out"  
Korry responded, "Yes Sir. Do you need me to pick you up somewhere?"  
"No Jason, I have a vehicle. How are you getting around?"  
"I'll call a cab"  
"Don't bother. I can pick you up. I'll be there in about forty five minutes. Room 18 you said?"  
"Yes. That would be great. I'll be ready sir"

Steve hung up the phone and again he listened to the voice mail from Danny. He heard the pain in his friend's voice and tossing the phone onto the seat next to him he slammed his hands against the steering wheel screaming out in anger and frustration. With tears sliding down his cheeks he cursed himself for his weakness as he again injected more meth into his bruised forearm. Minutes later he was again high and not feeling any physical pain as he drove towards the King's Motel.

Half an hour later he sat in the jeep staring at the door to room 18. He didn't want to hurt Jason but he had no choice. He could think of no other way to do this. It had started to rain and this was going to help him….Taking his pistol and handcuffs from his bag he removed the bullets from the chamber and then stuffing the empty gun and the cuffs into his back pocket he walked across the parking lot.

Jason opened the door and as he turned from Steve to walk back into the room, Steve struck him in the head with the butt of the gun knocking him to the ground unconscious. Closing the door to the room and pulling the drapes closed the SEAL struggled with his broken ribs as he pulled Jason up onto the bed. After taking a few moments to catch his breath he handcuffed the pilot's hands above his head to the bed. He then went to the bathroom and grabbed two washcloths wetting one of them and then sitting on the edge of the bed he held it to the injured man's head pulling him back to consciousness.

"McGarrett…..what in the hell are you doing?"  
"I'm sorry Jason. I need to take your plane and the Governor can't know about it. I'll send someone to get you in the morning, I just need time to get away"  
"Get away? From who? What's going on….you look like hell? Where's Williams?"  
"I can't tell you everything. Matt was shot. I left him at the hospital. Now where are the keys to the plane?"

Their conversation stopped as Jason's cell phone rang. Steve moved to the dresser grabbing the phone, "It's Denning" He let the call go to voicemail and turned back to Jason. "I need you to call him back. We're going to have the call on speakerphone and Jason listen to me….if you say ANYTHING you shouldn't, I WILL kill you and I don't want to do that do you hear me?"

"Yeah….I hear you"  
Sitting on the edge of the bed he dialed the Governor, "Governor, it's Jason. I'm sorry I missed your call Sir"  
"Thank's for calling back. Have you heard anything from McGarrett yet?"  
"No Sir, not a word"  
"Remember as soon as you do, I need you to contact me. Things have changed a bit. Two of Steve's 5-0 team and several HPD Officers are on their way to Washington now to search for him...it's been too long"  
"Okay Sir. When can I expect them?"

"They should arrive in about three hours. CIA Agents are going to meet them at the airfield and take them to a hotel for the night. I gave Danny Williams your phone number and the info on where you're staying. His plans are to call you first thing in the morning and they will pick you up so you can take them to the location where you left Steve"

Steve motioned to Jason to wrap up the call, "That's good Governor. I'll await his call"  
"Thank you Jason. Good Night"  
"Good Night Sir" Steve hung up the phone and moving from the bed he placed the phone back on the dresser and then taking a pad of paper and a pen he moved to the nearby table.

"You did great Jason. That call changes things a bit….." Sitting at the table he wrote a letter to his partner. When done he grabbed a bottle of water from the small refrigerator and went back to the bedside. He lifted Jason's head and gave him the water.  
"Drink up. How's your head feel?"

"I'm fine"  
Steve then took hold of the room phone that was on the bed stand and he pulled the chord from the wall. "Now we know Danny will find you in the morning so you'll be fine. Make sure he sees the letter on the table. Now, where are the keys?"

"In my jacket pocket"  
Steve took the keys from the pocket and then asked, "Do you need any more water?"  
"No"  
Steve added, "Any preference on a TV channel"  
"Yeah, sports….ESPN I guess"  
Steve turned on the television and then he placed a couple of pillows under Jason's head so he could see better.

"Do you want a blanket?"  
"Yes please"  
Steve pulled the comforter off the second bed and covered Jason with it. He then took the dry washcloth and folded it tightly.  
Jason looked at him puzzled, "What's that for?"  
Steve moved closer and placed the cloth into Jason's mouth. "Sorry, but I can't have you calling out. You'll be fine Jason…..I'm sorry"

Steve then shut off the light and locking the door behind him he was soon driving through a now heavy rainstorm towards the airstrip.

********** MORE TO FOLLOW **********  
**


	23. Chapter 23

Steve called Kamekona as he neared the airstrip.  
"Hey Big Guy"  
"MCG! Long time, no see. You haven't been to lunch for a few days bruder? I got a new chili lime flavored shrimp I need you to test out for me"  
"Yeah, I've been out of town. I'll stop by soon, I promise. Hey, I need a favor"  
"Undercover work maybe? I kept the cammo gear from Halloween you know. I'm always ready to expand my business"

Steve smiled adding, "No, nothing that exciting. I'm going to be flying into Oahu in about six hours and I need to….um shall I say... come in under the radar"  
"I got ya MCG. I'll call my cuz' and I'll be there for you"  
"Thank you brother"  
Kamekona's cousin owned an airstrip and the big guy stored his helicopter there. This would make things easier. He wouldn't have to answer anyone's questions …..at least not tonight.

The heavy rain provided a good distraction for the SEAL as the few employees at the airstrip were all inside the buildings. He pulled in to the far end of the runway and saw the Governors plane parked outside a hangar about 200 yards away. He shut off the trucks headlights and drove to the hangar parking a few feet from the plane. Hoping he had gone unnoticed he grabbed the two duffel bags and raced through the rain to the plane. Thunder and lightning filled the skies and with the rains he knew he would have a very 'bumpy' flight. Firing up the engine he began to slowly taxi towards the end of the runway. He continually glanced back and not seeing anyone exiting the buildings he continued down the tarmac turning at the end and picking up speed as he began his takeoff. Inside the main building three men came racing out totally shocked as they watched the plane take flight.

One of the employees addressed the shift supervisor, Martin Blalock "What in the hell Martin?"  
"I don't know. It must have been the pilot, he had the key"  
"Aren't you going to call the boss?"  
"Not yet"  
"How are we going to explain that we didn't see this? We're in their playing cards and we missed this!"  
"I need time to think"  
The other two men nodded and they re-entered the building as they continued to watch the tail-lights of the eight passenger Cessna Citation Bravo disappear into the storm filled skies.

Steve was a skilled pilot and thankfully he was able to fly safely in the severe weather conditions. He hadn't had much sleep at all though and as soon his 'highs' began to subside he would become drowsy. And as with anyone addicted this gave Steve the excuse he needed to keep pumping the junk into his veins. Steve McGarrett was in trouble and he didn't even know it.

At the same time Steve was flying towards Hawaii the rescue team was flying into the larger International Airport in Everett, Washington. They arrived a little after nine o'clock and were met by the team of CIA Agents who took them to their Hotel room. There, they ordered dinner into the room and discussed their plans for finding and rescuing Steve and Matt the following morning.

**********************  
Steve approached the airstrip at about eleven thirty and flipping the switch on the panel he sighed deeply and then contacted the air traffic controller on the ground. The owner of the airstrip, Kamekona's cousin Kahana Makali'i came across the airwaves and guided Steve safely to the ground motioning for him to park in a hangar at the far end of the strip.

After Steve shut down the engine and exited the plane he shook hands with the two big Hawaiian men.  
"Kahana, thank you Sir"  
"Of course Commander"  
Kamekona looked at the SEAL with concern, "McG what's this all about? You don't look too good"  
"I'm fine. I can't say much Kamekona I'm sorry. I need you to trust me"  
"You know we trust you. That's why we're here brudah"

Steve turned to Kahana, "This is the Governor's private plane. I'll be contacting him soon and I'm sure he'll be sending someone to pick it up tomorrow" Steve noticed the tension in the man's face, "Kahana, it's okay. I used the plane on a case. Governor Denning gave me use of the plane, it's okay"

Kamekona placed a hand on his cousin's arm, "Cuz, if McG says it's good…it's good"  
Kahana extended his hand and shook Steve's, "Okay man, no worries"  
Kamekona then asked, "Do you need a ride home braugh?"  
"Yeah buddy, that would be great….Thanks, both of you"  
After final handshakes, Kahana re-entered his building and Steve grabbed his bags and followed Kamekona to his vehicle.

Steve laid his head back against the headrest closing his eyes, not wanting Kamekona to get a good look at him. They drove in silence to Steve's house and as they turned onto his street Kamekona spoke quietly, "Steve, we're here brudah"  
Steve's response was both confusing and frightening to the big man as he stated, "Yeah Parks, we need to get Jack out there now"  
"What? Hey, McG are you sure you're okay?"

Steve turned towards him quickly coming back to reality but he was sweating profusely and his voice shook, "Yeah…..yeah, sorry man. I'm fine" After pulling into the driveway he exited the jeep and after thanking Kamekona again he made his way into his house.

Tossing the bags onto the couch he moved into the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and downed it quickly. Taking a second beer he went back into the living room and sitting on the couch he stared at the bags next to him. As he sipped the beer his hands began to shake as his desire for another fix began to overwhelm him. He was tired…..so fucking tired. He had to get to the shed. Once he got there everything would be okay…once again he justified the drug use. He needed to stay alert, he had to get to the shed... without any further thought he pulled the meth and a needle from the pack and moments later he felt the high, this time intensified even more by the beer. "The shed…..I have to get to the shed" Setting the beer onto the coffee table he moved up the stairs as fast as his stiff and bruised body would move.

He went straight to his bedroom, stripping off his dirty and bloodied clothing leaving them on the floor next to his bed. Moving to his dresser he pulled out a t shirt, pants and boxers. Closing the drawer his eyes were drawn to the picture….of Jack. He picked up the picture and stared at it as tear drops fell dampening the glass. Taking the picture with him he moved to the bathroom and started the shower. He stood under the hot steaming water for a long time. The water hurt, but felt good all at the same time. He ran his hands over his bruised flesh watching as the blood and dirt ran down the drain.

After exiting the shower he stood at the sink and looking into the mirror, what he saw shocked him. He had been beaten and tortured before and the cuts and bruises didn't bother him, they would heal. But his eyes…the eyes staring back at him were dark, sunken and hollow. Dark rings encircled them and the pupils were fully dilated. Suddenly Steve was overcome with rage, a rage he had never before felt. He hated the man staring back at him…this weak and pathetic man staring back at him….this broken man.

He screamed in anger and frustration as he pounded his fists into the mirror shattering it cutting his hands up horribly. Blood soon covered the vanity and sink as the pain finally began to register in his drug hazed brain. "SHIT MCGARRETT!" Grabbing gauze and tape from the cabinet above the sink he rinsed his hands under running water and then he wrapped and taped them tightly. After dressing he went back to the bedroom grabbing a flannel shirt, duffel bag and a couple of blankets from the closet along with a pillow. Stopping back in the bathroom he put first aid supplies, a bottle of Tylenol and a few towels into the bag along with the picture and then he made his way downstairs.

Putting on the flannel he went into the kitchen and put several items of food into the bag. His keys were on the counter and he took everything out to his truck. From the garage he took two sleeping bags and two unopened cases of water as well. He then walked back into the house and to the couch. He picked up the beer and as he took a drink he glanced down at the open duffel bag. As he saw the vials of meth, the needles and the rubber tubing the rage he had felt a short time ago upstairs again took control of him. Picking up the bag he hurled it, along with the half empty beer across the room. The beer bottled shattered as it hit the wall and the drugs and paraphernalia flew all over the room.

He was sweating and breathing fast, clenching his fists as blood was beginning to soak through on his left hand. Picking up the bag holding the numerous guns and ammunition he walked from the house, but he didn't get far. Once again the pull of the drugs was too much for him and halfway to the car he turned back and cursing to himself the entire time he re-entered the house. Kneeling on the floor he placed eight vials along with needles and tubing into the bag and soon he was in his Silverado driving towards shed.


	24. Chapter 24

It was after two in the morning when Steve pulled up to entry to the forest. It was about a mile and a half walk to the shed.  
He decided that now was the best time to call Denning. As he hoped, the call rolled into the Governor's voice mail.  
"Governor, this is McGarrett. First you need to know Cordoba and his men are dead….all of them, it's over. Unfortunately Matt was injured. He was shot in the abdomen. Sir, I'm back in Hawaii. I need to go off the grid for a while…..I need some time. I dropped Matt off at St Luke's Hospital in Everett. I'm certain he's safe but just in case, I took his ID with me. Also, I took your plane Sir. I need you to trust me and I'll tell you everything when I return. I tied Jason up in his room but he's not hurt. He's in room 18 at the King's Motel in Everett. I landed and parked your plane at the Makali'i Air Strip, the key is in the ignition. Sir, Makali'i will be expecting someone to pick up the plane but he knows nothing about the mission I was on or where I've gone. Again Governor, all I can tell you is please don't try to find me. Trust me and I'll be back in touch with you in two to three weeks…thank you"

He hung up the phone and ran his bandaged hands across his face and through his hair. _'God McGarrett, get your head together…think straight. If you don't keep it together you'll never be able to save Jack. Those bastards are holding him' _The SEAL was now totally controlled by the meth that was poisoning his mind and body. The two worlds of Steven John McGarrett had melded together in his mind and again he injected the junk into his veins. His eyes fell on the picture and he took it from the bag staring at it. It was a picture of SEAL Team 3 taken just before they had left for this mission. He looked at the faces of his team, his family….Wes Brannon, Drew Fulton, Joel Piecher, Kurt Prosser, Chris Parks, Carlos Rivera, Jack Lynch and himself… They were all smiling, smoking cigars and holding beers. The picture was taken just a couple of months ago when they were preparing for a mission in Columbia. They had just gotten word that Prosser's wife had given birth to their first child…a beautiful little girl they named Faith Olivia. 'Faith'….Kurt had told Steve that they had named her Faith because the first time he left his wife Erin for a mission she was scared and was sobbing. He had told her that he was well trained for this and that she needed have 'faith' in him and the Team….Steve smiled at the memory as he reached into his glove box and taking out a pen and paper he began to write.

_Dear Danno,  
I need you to know how sorry I am for all the pain I've caused you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep Matt safe….I tried Danno, I promise you I tried. Please tell him I'm sorry. I have failed you, God I know that. Danno, I have to find Jack. I don't know where my team is. We've been separated but I know they're looking for Jack too. The kid is great at what he does, but it's his first mission. His first mission. I have to find him Danno and I can't come back until I do. I know you'll be hurt and angry that I have gone off alone again but I can't put you in this kind of danger. I'm tired Danny. I'm so tired ….please forgive me.  
Steve_

Folding the letter he noticed the blood that had soaked the bottom of the paper as his left hand was again bleeding. Writing Danny's name on the outside of the paper he set it up on the dashboard. He looked at the picture again before putting it back in the bag. He grabbed more gauze and unwrapping the blood-soaked bandages he threw them onto the passenger seat and then re-wrapped the hand. He moved quickly filling one of the bags with water. Then with his arms full, carrying the three duffel bags and pillow and with the sleeping bags and blankets thrown over his shoulder Steve began his trek to the shed.

**5050505050505050505050**

Kamekona had gone home but he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling he'd had since leaving McGarrett. He sat in the dark watching an old black and white movie and sipping on beers for a couple of hours before deciding that he needed to go check on the SEAL. Arriving at McGarrett's home and finding his truck gone and the house dark Kamekona dialed Danny.

Danny woke to his cell phone ringing on the nightstand next to him. Grabbing the phone he moved out onto the room's patio not wanting to wake Duke, who he was sharing a room with.  
"Kamekona? What's wrong brother?"  
"Maybe nothing Jersey….."  
"Nothing? So you're waking me up just to chat?"  
"I'm worried about McGarrett"  
"I'm worried about him too, but what do you know about what's happening?"  
"Well I picked him up a couple of hours ago….."  
Danny interrupted him, "Whoa big guy, hold on a minute. What are you talking about?"  
"He flew in on the Governor's plane"  
"Was he alone?"  
"Uh huh, yep….just him and he didn't look real good either brah"  
"Elaborate please….."  
"It's the middle of the night and awfully dark but I could see that he took a hell of a beating"  
"Do you know where he is now?"  
"That's why I'm worried. I took him to his place, but he's gone now"  
"Okay…..I'll take it from here, and Kamekona….thank you for being there for him"  
"Of course. You'll call me right?"  
"You know it buddy"

Hanging up the phone Danny was shaking with fear and anger. What had happened to Matt and where in the hell was Steve? This was going to stop. Steve's decisions to go off alone weren't just affecting him, they were affecting all of them…..including Gracie. His hand shook with anger he dialed Steve's cell phone.

Steve had walked almost a mile when his phone rang in his pocket. Not only were his hands full but he was certain he was being watched. He could feel it….he thought by killing the six members of the Ocinco/Cordoba cartel that he had ended that threat but now he wasn't too sure about that. He stopped in his tracks, pushing the bag in his right hand against his pocket muffling the ring.

With each ring Danny's anger grew and as the call rolled to voicemail he cursed, "SHIT Steven….." As he listened to Steve's voice he made the decision…..he'd had enough, "Steve I don't know what in the hell is going on in that thick head of yours but I've had enough….I can't take this anymore partner" He chuckled as he continued, "Partner…that's the problem….you don't know what that word means" His voice was rising and shaking as he added, "Well let me tell you Steven, it means friendship and love and loyalty and you're great with all those things….in your own unique way. But it also means trust, and our problem is that you just don't trust me. How dare you take off to look for Matt without me! Even so, I probably could have gotten over that. But this bullshit story about you being dead? Didn't you think or care about how all of us would feel hearing that? I can never forgive you for putting me in that position with Gracie. I never want to see that look of devastation on my baby's face again Steve. So I'll call the Governor to find out about my brother, you don't have to bother calling me back. Once this is over, we're done. I want nothing more to do with you…good bye"

Hanging up the phone Danny moved to the railing and placing his elbows on the cold steel he ran his hands through his hair cupping them behind his head. "Damn it Steve….why" Several minutes passed and once he was composed enough he dialed Governor Denning.

Sam Denning answered the phone promptly, "Williams?"  
"Yes Governor. I'm sorry to wake you but have you heard from Steve?"  
"I wasn't sleeping. He left me a voice mail about half an hour ago. Did he call you too?"  
"No Kamekona called me…Sir, my brother…."  
"He's alive Danny. He's at St Luke's in Everett. He was shot in the abdomen and Steve dropped him off at the hospital before flying back to Hawaii. I just talked to the surgeon who treated him and he's going to be fine"

Danny sighed deeply saying softly, "Thank God"  
Denning then told him everything Steve had said, "Danny what's this all about? Where is he?"  
"I don't know Sir. Once I make sure Matt's okay, we'll fly back. I'll find him"  
"Good. Please sent Duke to the Motel so he can untie my poor pilot. McGarrett's got a lot of explaining to do"  
Danny responded, "Yes he does Sir, he certainly does"

********* Much more to follow – hope you're enjoying ! ********  
**


	25. Chapter 25

Danny moved back into the room and woke Duke explaining everything to him. He then called the hospital as Duke started a pot of coffee. As he hung up the phone Duke inquired, "How's Matt?"  
"He came though surgery well and he's in recovery. He was lucky. There was no organ damage but he lost a lot of blood. He was lucky Duke"  
"He was lucky he was with McGarrett"  
Danny nodded his head, "Yeah…he was. I'm going to shower quickly and then I'll call a cab"  
"I'll go let everyone else know what's going on and I'll send a couple of the guys over to pick up Jason"  
Danny grinned weakly, "The poor guy, he's not used to our boys tactics is he?"  
Duke laughed, "No he's not. McGarrett always seems to get the job done though doesn't he?"  
Danny couldn't respond as suddenly a lump filled his throat and tears welled in his eyes. He nodded his head in agreement and walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him.

Duke noticed the young detective's emotional reaction but figured it must be due to the stress and pressures of the last few days. He had watched the four members of this elite unit since the day they came together. The four of them were much more than co-workers, much more than a team…..they were a family and they all loved each other deeply. They had been through many emotionally difficult events together over the past three years, but they were always there for each other. When one was weak, the others were strong and protective. And the bond between Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams was a special one. They were brothers and he knew that each one of them would die to protect the other. They would get through this just as they always did, he knew it.

As he heard the shower turn on in the adjoining room, Duke left to wake Kono and his men.  
Danny stood under the steaming water as the emotions of the last days overwhelmed him. Tears fell down his cheeks as he thought about what he had said to Steve on the phone. Duke was right, Matt was lucky that Steve had been there for him…again. God knows he loved the SEAL, he really did but things had to change. His Gracie, his dear sweet Gracie….. Steve loved her, hell he ADORED her and yet he had hurt her so deeply… but never again. He could never let this happen again and as much as he loved Steve he had to think of his baby girl…he could never, no…..he WOULD NEVER let this happen again.

When he emerged from the bathroom Duke, two of his men and their pilot were in the room. Duke handed him a styrofoam cup of hot coffee saying, "I've called a cab for you, it should be here any minute. Kono is washing up and once the others get back here with the Jason we'll all meet you at the hospital"

Danny shook hands with Duke, "Thank you Duke" Nodding to the other men he left the room and headed downstairs.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve reached the shed when it was still dark. As he entered he was overwhelmed by the musty smell and extreme heat. As his eyes adjusted to his surroundings he made out the table in the corner of the room and moving to it he set his bags onto it. He was tired, actually he was exhausted. After slamming a bottle of water he grabbed a sleeping bag and pillow and moving over to one of the bedframes he laid down on top of the sleeping bag. He figured he could get about three hours of sleep before sunrise. His body ached horribly as he streached out and reaching into his pocket he pulled out his cellphone. Putting the phone to his ear he pressed play and listened to his partner's message. He listened to it over and over again as tears dampened his battered cheeks. It had all been for nothing…..the beatings and the drugs. Didn't Danny know he had done this all for him, for his family….for THEIR family. After several minutes he set the alarm on his phone and placed it onto the ground, then rolling onto his side he closed his eyes.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny arrived at the hospital and was brought to Matt's room. Once Governor Denning had contacted the hospital he had also taken the precaution of having policemen posted outside his room. Danny stood at the bedside and looked down at his younger brother. He had looked down on Steve and most recently Chin so many times….too many times, yet every time he was amazed at how the scene would affect him. All the tubes and machines, the oxygen and fluids being pumped into the injured, weakened body. Every time he stood like this he was overcome with thoughts of despair at the realization of the true frailties of the human body. The Doctors had told him that he expected a full recovery for the kid but that his pain would be pretty severe for a few days. Pulling up a chair he took Matt's hand in his and squeezed it tightly saying softly, "Hey little brother, I'm here…Danny's here"

He stroked his brother's hand and arm as he talked to him about their family, their parents and sisters….nieces and nephews. About two hours after he arrived, Matthew began to stir. Pushing up from the chair he continued to hold his brother's hand while running his free hand through Matt's hair.  
"Matt….Matt, it's Danny brother…..can you open your eyes for me?"  
Slowly the injured man's eyes opened and he looked up at his smiling brother, "DDanny…"  
"Yeah buddy. I'm glad to see you…..not under these circumstances though. How do you feel?"  
"I've felt bbetterr…how's SSte….evve?"  
"You don't worry about him okay. You just rest and get better for me alright?"  
"He ddid sso much for mme…he ssaved my ass aagainn Danny"  
"Yeah I know. You relax and sleep now, the Doctor says you're going to be just fine. You need to rest"  
"I nneed to see Steve….."  
"Not now okay"

Matt looked into his brother's eyes and what he saw terrified him. He tried to push his body up and Danny grabbed his shoulders pushing him back onto the bed, "Hey, hey stop now. What are you doing?"  
"What hh…happ….pened to Stteve?"  
"Nothing! Matt you're hurting yourself, RELAX!"  
"I need tto ssee ….him NNOW!"  
"MATTHEW, relax and I'll tell you everything. I'm not keeping anything from you…..relax buddy…relax"  
After several seconds Matt continued, "OOkkay….ookkay I'm ggood…..now where iis he?"  
"He's in Hawaii"  
"WWhat? Have yyou talked to hhim?"  
"No, Kamekona called me and Steve called the Governor saying he needed 'time' away"  
"Oh shit…..yyou've got to ffind him…..he's in ttrouble Danny"  
"Trouble? What are you talking about? Is he hurt? He said he took out all of them?"  
"He ddid but the ddrugs…..the ffuckking ddrugs"  
"Matt, I don't understand. What are you saying?"  
"They ppumped hhim full of meth DDannyy…hhe's hooked mman"

Danny's heart was pumping wildly in his chest as he was instantly overcome by fear for this partner.  
"Matt are you sure?"  
"They injeecttted him every ttwo hours…..hhe nnever slept and he was hallucina…..aating"  
"Hallucinating?"  
"HHe kkept calling me Jack…ttalked about ssavving me and that thhe tteam was looking ffor us. They bbeat hhim"  
Danny was sweating profusely as the words his brother spoke sunk in. Steve was in trouble, deep trouble. He was hooked on meth and searching for a dead brother. A shiver ran the length of his spine as he thought about the voicemail he had left. The thought of how Steve would react to it in his altered state terrified him.

He had to remain calm for Matt, "Hey Matty, we're talking about Steve here. He's strong, so strong. I'll find him and get him help, I promise. But Matt, I need to leave now. I hate to leave you brother…"

Matt interrupted him, "DDanny….'m ggood…..go, find him pleassse. He saved mmmy life"  
"I'll see you when this is all over brother, both of us will….me and Steve. I love you Matty"  
Danny leaned down and kissed Matt's forehead as the younger man stated, "I love yy…you too ….ggo now"  
Danny turned and without looking back he quickly left the room.

They others were all in the waiting room and Danny pulled Kono off to the side to inform her of Steve's condition. As he spoke the blood drained from Kono's face and Danny took her hands in his attempting to assure her, "We'll find him Kono"  
"I know…..we should call Chin"  
"Let's wait until we get home. In his condition we don't need him heading off on his own looking for Steve. He was going to be released today, right?"  
"Yes, this afternoon. He'll want to help us search Danny"  
"Picking him up will be the first thing we do" They embraced and then as Danny called the Governor to fill him in, Duke asked to pilots to take a cab and get to the airstrip to prepare the plane.

As the agents and officers headed back to get their bags from the hotel, Danny let them know that the Governor was contacting the CIA and WitSec officials as well as the local Police Chief again to make certain that Matt was safe. With Steve unavailable they would talk with Matt about their ordeal and for information on where they had been held.

Danny tried Steve's cellphone several times but it continually rolled to voicemail. Within the hour the plane was airbourne and heading back to Hawaii.

********** And the hunt moves to Hawaii – hope you're enjoying. Much more to follow ***********


	26. Chapter 26

Steve woke before his alarm even sounded and looking at his watch we noted he'd slept about two hours. His entire body ached and he needed a damn fix. As he pushed his body up he gasped at the pain in his ribs. Unbuttoning his shirt he examined his midsection the best he could in the dimly lit room. The first rays of sunlight peeked through the single, dirt covered window and he could see that the bruising was horrible but he could also tell from the coloring that fortunately he wasn't bleeding internally. He ran his hand across his abdomen and chest for a few seconds before buttoning back up. His phone rang and he reached onto the floor picking it up. 'Danny Williams' lit up on the screen and his finger hovered over the button but he couldn't bring himself to answer it. He couldn't deal with this problem now. He needed to focus on Jack, he had to find Jack…_'Wait a minute? I'm in Hawaii? Our mission was in South Africa?' _His mind was a blur, _'When did the team come here?_ _It doesn't matter when, he's here and I've got to find him' _ Moaning as he stood he walked over to the table. Blood had again soaked through the bandaging on his left hand and after re-dressing it he pulled out a vial of meth. Pulling up his sleeve he exposed his forearm. He hadn't really looked at the arm before, but now he did. Track marks and bruising covered his arm and he stared at it for several minutes before cursing to himself, "What the fuck are you doing McGarrett…." Throwing the vial across the room it fell broken onto the floor and he turned and quickly left the shed.

Leaning against the outside of the rotting wood of the shed, he folded his arms across his chest. He was shaking uncontrollably and he stood there for a long time, struggling to compose himself. As he stood there he heard his cell phone ring several times. Danny…..God he hurt him so…..what a mess he had made of everything. Suddenly he heard movement in the wooded area a short distance from the shed. The paranoia of the drugs, causing him to mistake the rustling of feral cats in the woods for the enemy. He moved swiftly back into the shed and grabbing two guns from the bag he loaded them and taking position at the small window he broke out the glass and his eyes frantically scanned the woods in front of him. He was ready for them.

**50505050505050505050505050**

The Governor was there to meet the plane as it landed safely in Oahu.  
Danny and Duke shook his hand as the Jersey detective asked, "Have you found him?"  
"No, nothing yet Danny. I've got an APB out and choppers in the air looking for his truck. Do you have any idea where he may have gone?"  
"Not a fucking clue. And the scary thing is, if he doesn't want to be found…we won't find him"  
Governor Denning saw the fear in Danny and Kono's eyes as he added, "True…but it sounds like he might not be fully focused and maybe he won't be thorough in covering his tracks"

"I hope you're right because we need to find him fast. From what my brother tells me, they were pumping him with junk every couple of hours"  
Governor Denning then addressed Danny, Kono and Duke "So tell me, how do you want to handle this?"

Danny ran a hand through his slicked back hair and sighed deeply, "In his state of mind he could be dangerous. According to Matt, Steve thinks he's on a rescue mission with his SEAL team and he's been separated from them. We all know that he's highly trained and let's just say…..he can be lethal. Governor, Duke…...I think the best way to assure this ends safely is for Kono and I, along with Chin to go after him alone"

Duke chimed in, "Danny, you're going to need help"  
Kono placed a hand on Danny's forearm and squeezed gently, "Danny they're right. We don't even know where to start looking"  
Duke added, "Danny listen to me. Let my men help in the search. Once we locate him, we won't move in. We'll let you take it from there"  
The stress and strain of the situation was evident on the Jersey detectives face as he responded softly, "Okay, thank you" He then turned to the Governor, "Has anyone searched his house?"

"Yes, HPD Officers searched the house briefly. Danny, Kono…..they found….."  
As he hesitated Danny grew frantic, "What? What did they find?"  
"They found a large amount of meth and…they found blood in the bathroom"  
Danny's voice shook as he continued, "I need to check out the house. Kono, can you go pick up Chin and meet me there?"  
"Yeah, my car is at my place though"  
Duke jumped in, "I'll drop you off at your place Kono and then I'll get to headquarters and lead up the search"  
Danny shook his hand, "Thank you Duke"

After agreeing to stay in touch with the Governor and Duke he hugged and kissed Kono's cheek and they all parted ways. As he raced down the freeway Danny dialed Steve's cell, again getting his voicemail, "Steve….Steve I'm sorry buddy. I'm sorry about the things I said. I didn't mean it, you've got to know that. I talked to Matty and he told me everything. Please call me Steve, oh God please let me help you. I love you partner…..I'm so sorry" He then called Rachel and Joe with updates and then hanging up the phone he sent out a prayer for his best friend and partner.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Sweat was pouring down McGarrett's face and his breathing was rapid. His belly hurt and he needed a fix badly. Honestly, what he really needed was food but even the thought of it turned his stomach. He hadn't seen or heard anything coming from the woods. '_Am I imagining all this?' _After waiting a few more minutes he stood and clutching at his abdomen he walking slowly back to the table. He took out a couple bottles of water and the first aid kit and then moving back to the light of the window he sat onto the hard, wooden floor. After downing a bottle of water he turned his attention to his left hand. The pain was horrible and it was still bleeding. Pulling out a needle and thread he again unwrapped the gauze. The gash started midway down the side of his pinky finger and it snaked about five inches down the side of his hand. After rinsing it with water and with a shaky hand, he stitched the wound and then re-wrapped it with fresh gauze. He needed to get going. He had no idea where to start looking for Jack but he knew he had get his head clear first. _'No more drugs McGarrett…..you gotta beat this shit' _Carrying a gun, he went outside the shed and after checking the perimeter of the building he was confident that he was alone….for now.

As he re-entered the shed the mustiness nauseated him and he walked back to the table. Looking at the open bag of drugs, he grabbed it and flung it angrily across the room spilling the contents all over the floor. He then picked up his cell phone. There were twelve calls from Danny, with two messages being left. Hitting the button he waited to listen to Danny's message again. He couldn't have heard his partner right last night…but as Danny's voice played in his ear, shaky and full of raw emotion, Steve realized that unfortunately he had heard him right. Everything they had been through for three years….it all really meant nothing. He couldn't bring himself to listen to the second message. If he had it would have changed everything that was going to happen over the next twenty four hours but instead Steve McGarrett would suffer. As he laid back onto the bed and covered himself with a blanket, he curled into a fetal position and he sobbed.

********** I wanted to make sure to thank you all for reading and a special thank you to those of you who have taken the time to review. Your kind words are appreciated more than you know and they do inspire me to continue writing. I hope you continue to enjoy ! Much more to come !************


	27. Chapter 27

Danny pulled into Steve's driveway and made his way into the house. On entering, his eyes instantly fell on the needles, vials of meth and tubing that lay strewn on the floor near the television. He closed his eyes and sighing deeply he made his way up the stairs. He noticed drops of blood on the stairs and in the hallway leading to Steve's bedroom and to the bathroom. Standing in the doorway of the bathroom he stared at the shattered mirror and the amount of blood scared him, "Oh my God Steven, what did you do buddy?" He then moved into the bedroom, noting more blood droplets on the bedspread. He stood and looked around the room trying to spot anything out of place. He noted the filthy and tattered clothes lying on the floor. Matty said he'd been beaten and kneeling down to examine the clothes he was relieved to see only a small amount of blood on them. As he was leaving the room his eyes fell on the empty space on the dresser. The picture was gone….the picture of Steve's last team. Eight men, eight brothers….smiling, laughing, arms draped around each other. That last mission together had taken the lives of three of them and it tortured Steve even to this day.

Danny slowly made his way back downstairs to search for any clues as to where Steve may have headed.

**505050505050505050505050**

Kono arrived at the hospital to find the Doctor giving final instructions to Chin who was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed and ready to go.  
Moments later the two cousins were alone and embracing.  
"How do you feel cuz?"  
"Good, really good. I didn't expect you guys back so fast, are Steve and Matt okay?"  
"Matt was shot but Steve got him to the hospital and he's going to make it"  
Chin noticed Kono gaze leave his, "Kono…..where is Steve?"  
"He's in Hawaii, but we have to find him"  
"What are you talking about Kono?"  
She sat on the bed next to him and told him everything they knew. Once she finished, Chin placed his hand tenderly on her cheek. "Kono, we'll find him and he'll be okay. Let's go meet Danny now, we can't waste any time"  
A short time later the two cousins were enroute to the McGarrett home.

**505050505050505050505050**

Back at the shed Steve's withdrawal symptoms were steadily getting worse. He was hot…..he was cold…..he was drenched in sweat and he was shivering uncontrollably. But worst of all was his stomach, the pains shooting through his body were horrific. About half an hour earlier he had begun to vomit. But he could handle the physical pain, he'd been shot, stabbed and tortured before…..he could handle the physical pain. The mental anguish was another story. Danny's words played over and over in his head, _"I want nothing to do with you Steve…I want nothing to do with you"_ Deciding he wasn't going to sleep, he slowly sat up and once the nausea passed he stood and staggered over to the table. Taking a pen and paper from the bag he sat down and began drafting a final letter to his partner.

Twenty minutes later Steve was leaving the shed with a duffel bag full of guns, ammo, food and water draped over his shoulder. As his hand touched the doorknob his phone rang again. He had left the phone on the table next to the letter and without hesitating Steve simply glanced back at the phone before opening the door and walking out into the hot, bright Hawaiian day.

**505050505050505050505050**

Kono and Chin arrived to find Danny rummaging through the desk in Steve's office looking for clues. He looked up as they walked into the room and he stood, moving over to them and embracing Chin.  
"Hey brother, you're looking good. How do you feel?"  
"I'll feel a lot better after we find Steve"  
Danny nodded, "We all will buddy. Come on and sit down"  
They all moved to the desk and Chin eased himself into a cushioned chair.

Kono set up her computer on the desk as they listened to Danny, "I can't find anything telling me where he went. Our best bet is going to be trying to trace his cellphone. You ready Kono?"  
"Almost"  
Chin then asked, "Have you checked the whole house Danny?"  
"Yes. I assume you two saw the drugs all over the living room floor?"  
"Yes, we did….Danny that's a good sign brah. Hopefully he left all the junk here"  
"Yeah, I hope so. It looks like he took the picture of his SEAL team with him though"  
"Where is his head at?"  
"I don't know Chin, but we've got to find him and help him. He's physically hurt too. Matty told me he was beaten and it's a bloody mess upstairs" He saw the fear in the other's eyes as he continued, "It looks like he lost a fight with his bathroom mirror. How's it coming Kono?"

"I'm ready"  
Danny again dialed Steve's cell and as it rolled to voicemail he spoke, "Steve, it's Danny again. I'm here with Chin and Kono and we're worried about you buddy. Can you pick up so we can talk please? Matty's doing good partner. I owe you big time, my whole family does. Thank you for saving his sorry ass yet again" Kono watched him intently, wiping a tear from her cheek as he continued, "Steve….I'm sorry for what I said. Please pick up the phone babe, let us help you…" |  
He hung up the phone as Kono called out, "I've got it"

"Where is he Kono?"  
"Hanauma Bay"  
Chin sat forward in his chair saying softly, "Wait…wait...I know where he might be"  
Danny stood, "What? Where….?"  
"The shed. Steve's Dad took a few of us on a retreat when we were rookies and a major storm kicked up unexpectedly. We took cover in this tiny, dark shed and John told us he and Steve had done the same thing several times over the years. It's very isolated and if he's trying to get off the meth, this would be a perfect place to do it"

"You remember how to get there?"  
"Yeah, yeah….of course"  
"Chin, are you sure you're up to this?"  
"Danny, it's not me we have to worry about. But brah, thanks for the concern. I'm good….I promise"

"Guys before we leave I need to tell you something. I made a horrible mistake…"  
He paused and Kono prodded him, "Danny, what is it?"  
"I left him a message. I was angry at him. I was so damn angry and I said some things I never…...never should have said over the phone" His voice was shaking as he continued, "I told him I couldn't do it anymore…..that I couldn't be his partner any longer because he doesn't trust me"

Kono took hold of his hand, "Danny…he knows you didn't mean it"  
"Kono, I did mean it though. I meant every word I said, but I didn't know about the meth when I said it. Oh my God if he does anything to himself….."  
Chin interrupted, "Danny stop. Don't think like that. We'll find him and you can talk to him and work things out"  
Kono's voice was shaking as she added, "He left the drugs here Danny. He won't quit, he's a fighter"

Danny nodded but he could not speak. The lump in his throat hurt as he swallowed hard. He knew all too well that one of the side effects of meth withdrawal was depression and he was scared to death that Steve would do something impulsive. He was injured, out of his mind and searching for his dead friend. Now if he had listened to that damn message he was probably feeling abandoned as well. Add depression onto that and even the strongest man could snap. He took a deep sigh and looking at his friends he stated shakily, "Let's bring him home"

Moments later the three were driving down the Pali Highway towards Hanauma Bay.

**505050505050505050505050**

Steve walked and walked deeper into the woods. He was off the main path but it was still in sight. He had been walking for two hours, stopping frequently, dropping to his knees in pain or to vomit. He was in horrific pain and his body shook uncontrollably. He was sweating profusely and his clothes were drenched and covered in sweat and vomit. He sat on the path and pulling his head down to his knees he cradled his head and cried. As he sat there images suddenly began to flash through his mind, Joel…. dead from a gaping bullet wound to the throat. Carlos…..beaten until he was nearly unrecognizable and Jack….Jack looking up at him with lifeless eyes, eyes filled with terror. The words choked from his throat as the reality of what had happened to his team suddenly sunk in, "He's dddeaad….ooh God nnno, he's ddead"

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there when he heard someone approaching from behind. Slipping his hand into the bag at his side he moved at catlike speed even in his weakened condition. Spinning to face the strangers as he jumped to his feet he called out, "STOP RIGHT THERE"

Staring down the barrel of McGarrett's gun were a young couple in their early twenties.  
The young man protectively pulled his female companion behind him and holding out his hands in front of him he spoke nervously, "Hey buddy…..we don't want any trouble. Are you alright?"  
"He's ddeead…..it's all mmy fault….hhe's dead"  
The young man was terrified as the unkeep stranger with the gun stared back at him with crazed eyes as he repeated the same words over and over again. Nudging his girlfriend they began to slowly back away until finally the gunman pulled his hands up to his head and screamed, "GET OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE! GO…..GO!"

As the couple ran, had they turned back to look they would have seen Lieutenant Commander Steven J McGarrett drop the gun and collapse to the ground….a crushed and defeated man.

*********** MUCH MORE AHEAD – Hope you're still enjoying *********** **


	28. Chapter 28

The detectives drove to the area that Chin recalled and after a short search they came across Steve's truck. He had pulled off the road and parked in the brush thus keeping it hidden from the choppers searching by air. As Chin called Duke to give him an update and Kono continued trying to trace Steve's phone, Danny walked to the truck to check it out.

He sat in the driver's seat and instantly noticed two disturbing things. Number one was the blood soaked bandages on the passenger seat as well as blood on the steering wheel, seats and dashboard. Number two was the letter, also soaked in blood and addressed to _'DANNO'_

He picked up the letter and with shaking hands he unfolded it and began reading,  
_Dear Danno,  
I need you to know how sorry I am for all the pain I've caused you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep Matt safe….I tried Danno, I promise you I tried. Please tell him I'm sorry. I have failed you, God I know that. Danno, I have to find Jack. I don't know where my team is. We've been separated but I know they're looking for Jack too. The kid is great at what he does, but it's his first mission. His first mission. I have to find him Danno and I can't come back until I do. I know you'll be hurt and angry that I have gone off alone again but I can't put you in this kind of danger. I'm tired Danny. I'm so damn tired ….please forgive me.  
Steve_

Tipping his head back and closing his eyes, Danny fought back tears. He had to keep it together and find Steve fast. Everything else could be discussed later. All that mattered at this point was finding him, getting him off the junk and saving him from the personal demons that threatened to destroy him.

He sat quietly for several minutes before exiting the truck. As he approached the others they instantly noted his pale color and Chin asked, "Danny? What is it?"  
Saying nothing, he simply handed them the blood-stained note to read. Once done, Chin folded it and put it into his pocket. He then placed a hand on Danny's shoulder and stated simply, "Let's go find him brah"

Grabbing a pack he had brought filled with water, food, flashlights and medical supplies the three began their trek towards the shed.

**505050505050505050505050**

Steve lay on the ground for quite a while. Curled up on the dirt path he stared at the gun that had landed only feet away from him.

Danny's voice echoed in his head_, "I want nothing to do with you Steve…I want nothing to do with you"  
_His Mother, lost to him at just sixteen, now back in his life but is she truly back? His Father, killed by Wo-Fat. Jenna Kaye and Laura Hills killed by Wo-Fat because of his own personal quest for vengeance. And then there were his brothers in arms. Twelve men….twelve brave and honorable men who had followed him into battle and followed his orders without hesitation. Twelve men who between them had left behind seven wives, two fiances' and fifteen children all under the age of ten when they lost their daddies. He had somehow found a way to live with this. How? How could he live with this? What was wrong with him? It wasn't a normal thing to be able to push such traumatic events out of your mind like this, was it? _"I want nothing to do with you Steve…I want nothing to do with you_" How could he blame Danny for feeling like this. He had to think about Gracie. He was her daddy and it was his job to keep her safe. It was now clear that Danny had decided he couldn't do that by being around him. He grinned as he thought, _'What took you so long to come to this conclusion Danno?' _

With that final thought, Steve reached over and picked up the gun.

**505050505050505050505050**

As they drew near the shed they called out to Steve, not wanted to startle him. They approached with extreme caution not knowing what to expect from their tortured friend. Danny was the first through the door with the others directly behind him. The shed was stifling hot and the mustiness along with the vomit on the floor was overwhelming. Kono gagged and covering her nose and mouth she turned and walked back outside. Danny and Chin looked around the small, empty room noting the drugs and paraphernalia strewn across the floor, the bloody bandages on the table and on the floor by the window and the vomit on the bed, sleeping bag and floor. The sights confirmed their fears that Steve was suffering greatly.

As they left the shed, Danny took with him Steve's cellphone and the letter sitting next to it. Putting the phone into his pocket, Danny sat on a nearby fallen log flanked by his two dear friends. Unfolding the letter, they all three silently read it together.

_Danno, Kono and Chin_

_This is the hardest letter I have ever written and I can only hope that someday you will all understand the decision I've made. I need to find Jack, I can't abandon him. I don't understand where the rest of my team is but I know he's here and I have to find him. The Drug Cartel that has him is ruthless and there's a very good chance that I won't make it back from this anyway…_

_Danno, I remember when you called me a 'danger magnet' and buddy you couldn't have been more right. I have been responsible for so many deaths. I have caused such great pain to so many good people, people I loved dearly. I can't do that anymore and I won't do that to you. You are my family and you have all given me reason to live, but I am so tired. I just can't do it anymore, I'm not strong enough. Dear God I hurt so bad…Danno, please tell Gracie how much I love her and please don't ever take for granted the blessing God gave you in that little angel. Please remember always how much I love each of you. I can't go on, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me…_

_Steve_

Danny's hands were shaking as he handed the letter to Kono and he stood, walking away from the others. Moments later he turned back to his friends and with a look of steely determination he stated, "This IS NOT going to happen. Let's go"  
Chin and Kono stood and Kono said softly, "He sounds so confused"  
Chin put a loving arm around her as he responded, "He is Kono. It's the drugs sweetheart"  
Danny then added, "Chin, any thoughts on where we should start looking?"  
"No. There are several paths and waterfalls. It's really peaceful and solitary"  
"Okay... Chin, would you mind staying here in case he comes back?"  
"Danny, we've only got about four hours of daylight left. We're not going to have any cellphone coverage. I suggest we all head in different directions and meet back here about seven-thirty"

"Chin, I'm not coming back without him"  
"Hey brah I understand, but we've got to be smart about this. I agree that we need to find him on our own but once its dark it's too dangerous to be out there. The paths are narrow and not cleared in many areas. There are exposed tree roots, rocks and pebbles and Danny listen, there are drop offs into some pretty deep ravines. You fall into one of those and we may never find you"

"Chin, you are a ray of sunshine my friend. Any other good news for us buddy?"  
"We'll find him Danny, we will"  
"I just hope we find him in time babe"

Danny went back into the shed and emptying out the two bags Steve had left behind he took them back outside. Once they all had bags with water a flashlight and small amounts of food and medical supplies they agreed to meet back at the shed between seven thirty and eight o'clock. They also agreed that if one of them found Steve or needed any help they would fire two shots into the air and the others would come to their aid. After embracing they all took off in different directions hoping and praying they would find their friend before nightfall.

********* Are you liking it ? Thanks for reading and I'll try to update again soon **********


	29. Chapter 29

Steve sat on the ground cradling the gun in his bloodied hands for well over an hour. He knew what he had to do but this wasn't the place to do it. He looked down at his clothes, filthy and smelly, drenched in sweat and covered in his vomit. This is what his actions over the years had brought him to, but it would all be over soon….peace and no more tortured dreams for him but more importantly safety for those he loved. He would no longer bring danger to Gracie, Danny, Chin, Kono, MaryAnn or his beloved Catherine. He thought of them all, as well as of his Mother and Joe, lovable Kamekona and sweet Max. He knew that they would mourn him but he also knew that this was what he had to do, it was the best thing for him…it was the best thing for them. He really didn't have the strength to walk any further but he knew about half a mile down the path there was easy access to a waterfall. A beautiful waterfall, peaceful and calming. Moaning in pain as he stood, he walked on.

**505050505050505050505050**

Danny had been on the path for a little more than an hour when he came across the young couple walking towards him. Seeing his badge and the gun on his hip the young man spoke nervously as he approached.  
"Are you a police officer?"  
"I'm a detective. Danny Williams. I'm hoping you can help me"  
The men shook hands, "My name is Luke Ramstead and this is my girlfriend Cheyenne Tatro. We ran into a guy who's in trouble about two miles down the road. He pulled a gun on us"  
Cheyenne added, "He was crazy Officer"  
Luke added, "He was definitely on something"

Danny knew but he needed to confirm, "Was he about 6'1, dark hair?"  
The pair answered in unison, "Yes"  
Danny ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply, "I need to find him but I'm going to need your help. He's my partner.

Luke interrupted him, "Your partner? Well I'm telling you he was high on something and he scared the hell out of us"

Danny had to calm the young man down and he decided he had no other choice but to tell them the truth, "Look...I'm sorry and you're right, he's on something. He was undercover on a mission and was held by a drug cartel. He was tortured and they hooked him on Meth. He's an ex-Navy SEAL and it's very important that I know what his mental state is. Please tell me EVERYTHING you can think of"

Luke spoke calmly, "He was sitting on the ground with his back to us. He had his hands clenched behind his head, his knees were pulled up and his head was pulled down to them. He was rocking back and forth and he was mumbling. As we got closer he sensed us coming and he stood and spun around with his gun drawn. He was so damn quick but his hands were shaking really bad. And his eyes man….they were scary…..his voice was shaking and he kept saying over and over 'he's dead and it's all my fault'. We started to back away and suddenly he grabbed at his head and screamed at us to go and to leave him alone"

Danny's voice shook as he asked, "Anything else you can think of at all?"  
The couple looked at each other and shaking their heads they both stated there was nothing else.  
"The whole thing was over in just a few minutes. He just scared us detective"

"I know and I'm sorry for that, he's not in his right mind right now. He's trying to beat this crap on his own and I have to find him. I need to ask you for a couple of favors"  
"What do you need from us?"  
"First if you follow this path straight out of here you'll run into a small shed"  
Cheyenne jumped in, "Yes, we saw it when we got here"

"We work for a special Task Force that answers directly to the Governor. Our other team members Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua are searching down other paths for Steve and we were all meeting back at the shed at about seven thirty. They should be there when you arrive. Can you tell them what happened and send them this way"

Luke spoke, "Of course, we can do that. What else do you need from us?"  
"Your silence. I can only request this, what you do is totally up to you. I can tell you the Governor knows what's happening as do high ranking HPD Officers. We're all hoping to keep this out of the press, for Steve's sake" Danny's voice shook slightly as he continued, "I mentioned that Steve is an ex-Navy SEAL. He actually led SEAL Teams for eight years and is highly decorated. Unfortunately though even with him having nothing to do with his current condition, if this goes public…it could destroy his career. I can tell you that I've never known a more honorable and decent man than Steve"

"Can you tell us who he killed? What he was talking about?"  
"It's classified but I can tell you he's talking about one of his SEAL's who was killed on a mission. Steve's had trouble accepting his death and he's had misplaced guilt over it"  
Cheyenne looked into Danny's eyes, "We won't say anything detective. My cousin is a SEAL. We hope you find him and can help him"

Tears welled in Danny's eyes as he said quietly, "Thank you both" He reached into his pocket, pulled out a business card and handed it to Luke, "Here's my card. Please leave your names and phone number with Kono and when this is all over I'll give you a call. I'm sure Steve will want to meet you under different and better circumstances" The three then shook hands and parted ways with Danny jogging down the path praying he would find Steve in time.

**505050505050505050505050**

Steve reached his destination and looking at the waterfall to his left he knew he was where he needed to be. He would stay here and sort everything out in his head. He had a lot of thinking to do. There was an area underneath the waterfall, a large flat rock where he could sit and think, and if he decided…..he cursed himself out loud, "DAMN IT McGarrett don't you dare lose your nerve"

He knew the path that led to the waterfall was about a quarter of a mile further down the main path and he decided to just walk across the waist deep water. Looking down at his clothes, soiled with sweat and vomit and smelling horribly he stripped down to his boxers. It was still very warm outside but as the air hit his sweat-drenched body a shiver ran down his spine. Slipping his tennis shoes back on and with the bag thrown over his shoulder Steve entered the water.

The water was warm and calm as it washed over his body, cleansing him. He moved slowly not only because it was all his aching body would allow but also the water bed was extremely rocky and slippery. About halfway across, his foot slipped and Steve fell, his body fully submerged under the water. His shoulder and head both came into contact with jagged rocks and he instinctively pushed himself up gasping for air. He sat on his knees as he coughed and spit water from his lungs. Reaching up to touch his head he grimaced, pulling back a blood covered hand. He also glanced down at his right shoulder noting a jagged gash approximately seven inches long. His head was spinning and he again was overcome with nausea causing him to vomit violently. His knees hurt and he knew they were being cut up by the rocks. He couldn't move for quite a while until the nausea and dizziness subsided.  
Finally, moaning as he stood and with blood running down his face he began to gingerly make his way again towards the waterfall.

He reached his destination without further incident and opening up the bag he took out the guns and ammunition placing them onto the rock. Not having any medical supplies with him he chuckled softly as he thought, _'I guess God's decided my fate….I'll probably bleed to death by morning' _Curling into a fetal position, Steve closed his tired eyes and letting out a sigh he let his mind take him back to Afghanistan and the mission where he had lost his first man...….he had now come to the realization that it wasn't only the last three years that had been for nothing, his entire adult life had been for nothing. He had caused so much pain to so many people….he hoped that when he was gone their pain would ease. Steve McGarrett was ready to die.

**505050505050505050505050**

Danny continued to jog down the path. His eyes were searching from side to side and it was beginning to get dark. Suddenly a feeling of overwhelming dread came over him and he picked up his pace. He HAD to find Steve before dark…he HAD to.

He had been running for about twenty minutes when he saw it. A pile in the path directly in front of him. He couldn't tell what it was as he called out, "STEVE!" and ran faster towards the pile. As he drew closer he breathed a sigh of relief realizing that the heap was simply clothes and not his partner.

As he reached the clothes he could see and smell how soiled they were. The brief feeling of relief he had felt a short time earlier was replaced by sheer terror as looking to his left he saw Steve lying motionless on the rock behind the waterfall. Even at this distance he could see the guns and he could see the blood covering his partner's head. "NO…..NO STEVE….OH GOD NO!" Danny raced into the water moving as quickly as he could towards his fallen partner.

********* MUCH MORE TO COME. THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING ! **********


	30. Chapter 30

Chin and Kono had both been back at the shed about fifteen minutes when the young couple approached from the path Danny had taken.

The young man spoke first, "Excuse me are you Chin and Kono?"  
Chin spoke, "Yes, that's us. Who are you?"  
"I'm Luke Ramstead and this is my girlfriend, Cheyenne Tatro. Danny Williams needs your help. He's about four miles down this path"  
Kono than asked, "Did he find Steve?"  
The couple went on to explain everything to the detectives and then as Kono took down their names and phone numbers Chin went into the shed to grab the clean sleeping bag and blankets. After they thanked the young couple they started down the path both praying that Danny had found Steve in time.

**505050505050505050505050**

Danny slipped on the rocks several times as he moved quickly through the water. His eyes never left Steve and with each step that brought him closer, his fear rose. The wound to the right side of his head appeared to be at the hairline and the blood looked fresh. He spoke quietly as he drew closer, "Hang on Steven, hang on babe"

Reaching the rock, Danny was kneeling at Steve's side in moments. As his fingers touched the side of Steve's neck to feel for a pulse he was startled as the SEAL's eyes bolted open and his arm shot up grabbing Danny's wrist tightly.  
"STEVE, STEVE RELAX, IT'S ME PARTNER! STEVE, IT'S DANNO, RELAX!"  
"Dddanno?"  
Danny smiled down at him, "Yeah buddy. What are doing out here huh?"  
"What arree you ddoing here?"  
"That's a silly question don't you think babe?"  
"Danny…go please"  
"I don't think so partner, you're stuck with me"  
"No Danno, iit's oovver"  
"It's not over. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Now let me take a look at your head. What happened?"

"I hhit it on a rock"  
"Your shoulder too?"  
"Yeah"  
Danny stripped off his wet shirt, "Okay, I'm going to help you sit up now"  
"Uh hhuh…Danny 'm sso sorry"  
Danny took Steve's face in his hands, "Steve listen to me. You have nothing to be sorry about, nothing"  
"Danny…."  
The blonde detective interrupted him, "Steven, we can talk later. Right now I need you to help me alright?"  
Steve moaned loudly as he pushed himself up, Danny grabbed his upper arms, "Hey, hey slow down babe"  
"Sssick Daanno" Danny moved quickly pulling Steve across his lap as he began to vomit.

Steve's head wound pressed against Danny thigh and he ran a hand through the SEAL's hair talking to him softly, "It's okay partner, get it all out…I got you" For several minutes Steve vomited, his body shaking in pain. Once he felt Steve's body relax in his arms he asked, "Are you done?"

"Yeah…..DDanno…"  
"Sssh, no talking now you just relax"  
"Yes ssir"  
"That's right, I'm in charge here now so you just do what I say" Reaching over he pulled his bag close, "Okay Steve I'm going to roll you onto your back so I can check out your head"  
"Good lluck wwithh that"  
Danny chuckled softly, "Good to see you still have your sense of humor"  
"My entire life hhas been a jjoke Daniel"  
For a moment Danny Williams was speechless, something that happened so infrequently in his life that he couldn't even remember the last time it had occurred. Rolling Steve onto his back he cradled his head in his lap and ripping his shirt in half he folded it and pressed it against Steve's shoulder wound.

He grabbed Steve's left hand and pulled it up across his body placing it over the shirt. He noticed Steve's pained grimace, "Hey partner, I know you hurt but can you put pressure on this for me?"

"Yeah….sssure" Danny kept his hand on top of Steve's for a minute and then pulling back he went to work on the head wound. Steve's eyes remained closed and his face contorted in pain as Danny rinsed the gash with bottled water then stitched the bleeding wound and bandaged it.

"You're doing great buddy. Let me look at your shoulder now"  
He pulled Steve's hand away and as he stitched him the SEAL became talkative, "Danny…it's over man. Everything….itt'ss…..….all ffor nothing. It's nothing Danno. I ccan't go on…..please understand, I can't ddo thiss anymore"

Tears pooled in Danny's eyes as he listened to his distraught partner. "Steve, you're wrong partner. We need to talk but for now I'm in charge remember? We need to get back across the water before it gets any darker"

"There's a path, we ddon't hhave to cross the water"  
"Okay good. I'm going to help you sit up now"  
"K" Steve moaned softly as Danny slid from underneath him and helped him sit. Steve watched as his friend put the weapons and ammo back into the bag and then handed him a bottle of water.  
"Drink this Steve"  
"No, I'll just puke"  
"Why are you arguing with me my friend? You're dehydrated...drink…..please"  
"Alright, since you asked so nicely"  
Danny grinned, simply stating, "Good"  
"DDanno I'm aaddicted…" His voice shook and Danny interrupted him, "Matty told me...….I'm here now and you're going be okay"  
Once Steve had finished half the bottle, Danny threw the bags over his shoulder and then helped Steve to his feet.

Steve's body was shaking as Danny pulled his arm over his shoulders and they began to walk.

**505050505050505050505050**

They had been walking in silence for about twenty minutes when Steve screamed in pain and buckled over.  
Danny held him tightly as they dropped to their knees. As Steve vomited, Danny kept one hand on his arm as he stroked his back with his other hand.  
"Oh GGod it hurts DDanno…ffuck it hurts so bbad"  
"I know buddy, relax"  
Steve remained on his hands and knees for quite a while. Danny had worked with the narcotic squad for four years in Jersey and he had witnessed many addicts suffering through withdrawal. It was never easy to watch anyone suffer like this, but when it was someone you loved it was absolute torture to watch. Danny comforted him the best he could rubbing his back and squeezing his neck and shoulders until his body finally began to relax.

After taking a few sips of water Steve was ready to move on. Danny pulled the flashlight out of the bag and again supporting his friend they walked on.

Almost an hour later Danny's concerns escalated. Steve was breathing rapidly and leaning heavily against him.  
"Hey babe, you okay"  
"Dddanno I ccan't…stop please…"  
"Okay partner, okay" Danny was easing them both to the ground as Chin and Kono came into view.

Kono was calling out as she ran towards them, "STEVE, STEVE…DANNY OH GOD" As they drew closer Kono's heart dropped. Steve's face was horribly bruised and swollen from the beating he had taken at the hands of the cartel. Both eyes blackened, with the deep gash above his eyebrow. The bandage covering the two wounds on the right side of his head. His nose, crooked, swollen and clearly broken. The nasty gash on his cheekbone and his split upper lip. Her eyes looked down his nearly naked body noting his bandaged shoulder. His entire chest and sternum, right side and abdomen were multiple shades of black, blue, purple and red. His bloodied knees. But what stopped her dead in her tracks were the eyes of the man she idolized. The man who never treated her like an employee or underling, but as an equal partner. He loved her like a sister and she loved him back. These three men were her family and Steve has the rock that solidified them. The eyes that looked back at her now were hollow and sunken…..full of pain and torment. Chin grabbed her hand as they neared their fallen friend.

Danny spoke as they approached, "Chin, open up that sleeping bag buddy, he's freezing"  
Chin laid out the bag and Kono helped Danny ease the SEAL into it. His body was shivering uncontrollably as Chin zipped him into the bag. Kono placed a hand on his forehead, "Guys, he's burning up. We have to get him to the hospital"

Steve cried out, "NO….NNO HOSPITAL! Dannnoo, no hhosppital"  
He struggled trying to free his arms from the restraints of the bag as the others all kept him still. Danny cupped his head in his hands and spoke calmly, "Steve, stop...…relax. I've got you"

"Danno….nno hospital…..can't go"  
"Steven you need to see a Doctor"  
"NO HOSSP…..PITAL DANNO…..they ccan't know"  
"Hey I'm still in charge here and you need listen to me and trust me. The Governor knows"  
"WWhhat? No…oh God nno"  
"Steve, you're not thinking clearly. This isn't your fault partner. The Governor is fine. He's worried about you and he wants you to get better. We all do. Chin and Kono are here now"

"Chhin…Kono"  
Kono reached up and stroked his cheek, "We're here boss"  
Tears fell down Steve's cheeks as he choked out, "I'm sso sorry"  
She bent down and whispered into his ear, "You have nothing to be sorry about….ssshhhhh…..we've got you"

As Kono comforted Steve, Danny and Chin moved a few feet away.  
"Danny, how is he?"  
"He's hurting bad brother, plus I'm sure he has a concussion. He can't walk anymore, we have to carry him"  
"Then let's get to it and get him out of here"

Moments later as Kono led the way the two detectives were carrying their leader, in the sleeping bag and with blankets draped over him, out the forest.

********* MUCH MORE TO FOLLOW – HOPE YOU'RE STILL ENJOYING! **********


	31. Chapter 31

It was slow going down the darkened path and when they reached the shed they gently placed Steve on the ground.  
"Danno? Whhere are wwe?"  
"We're back at the shed partner. We're just going to rest for a few minutes and then we'll get you to the truck"  
Steve was moaning softly as Chin and Kono went into the shed to pack up the drugs as well as the other items Steve had brought.

Danny knelt next to Steve placing a hand on his shoulder, "Ssshhhhh babe, I'm right here"  
"Danny…llisten please…no hospital okay. Take me hom…me"  
"Steve you need to be checked over and then I'll take you home alright?"  
"I just need tto get hhome"  
"Steven we need to make sure you're not bleeding internally and we have to get that hard head of yours checked out. Please buddy, I need you to trust me"

'_TRUST ME….TRUST ME'_… the words from Danny's voice mail flooded Steve's mind, _'Partner'…that's the problem….you don't know what that word means. Well let me tell you Steven, it means friendship and love and loyalty and you're great with all those things….in your own unique way. But it also means trust, and our problem is that you just don't trust me'_

Steve looked into his partners eyes and he saw the hurt…"Okay Danno, whatever you say. I trust you"  
Danny squeezed his friends shoulder reassuringly, "You're going to be fine buddy. Keep fighting"

He watched as Steve's eye's closed and tears slid down his battered cheeks. The words came out so softly that Danny barely heard him, "He's dead Danno…Jack's dead because of me"

Before Danny could even respond, Steve was pushing himself up. Danny grabbed his shoulders, "Whoa! Where are you going?"  
"Help me outta this thing, will you"  
Danny unzipped the bag and pulled it down around Steve's waist. Steve sat, pulling his knees up. He tipped his head downward and clutching his hands behind his head he placed his elbows on his knees and he sobbed. Still kneeling, Danny inched closer and reaching out he grabbed Steve's arm. The SEAL kept repeating through tortured sobs, "He's dead…Jack's dead….it's my fault…..oh God, it's all my fault" Several minutes passed until Steve fell towards his partner and taking his cue, Danny pulled him to his chest.

"Oh God Danny….he's gone"  
"Ssshhhhh babe, it's going to be okay….ssshhhhh" Danny wanted to shake sense into the SEAL but he knew that wasn't what Steve needed right now. In his depressed state of mind he just needed comfort and that was what he would provide. A short time later Chin and Kono returned from the shed. Chin knelt opposite Danny and placed a hand on Steve's shoulder and Kono knelt in front of the men reaching out and taking Steve's bandaged left hand into hers.

As she squeezed his hand he cried out in pain and she responded "Oh Steve, I'm sorry"  
Danny then spoke, "I assume your hand went through your bathroom mirror, am I right?"  
"I always said you were a great detective Danno"  
"Okay smartass!"  
They all chuckled softly and Steve added, "Sorry buddy"  
"It's all good babe. Let's take a look at that hand though okay?"  
"Uh huh…it hurts a bit"  
As Chin held a flashlight Kono sat on the ground and holding the hand in her lap, she gently unwrapped the wet and bloodied gauze bandaging.

Steve's gaze turned to the man holding the flashlight, "Chin…how are you feeling buddy?"  
Chin smiled down at him, "I'm fine, thanks to you. You saved my life Steve. Mahalo"  
"No partner, God saved you and the Doctors"  
"Don't think I haven't thanked them and God as well, but I never would have even made it to the hospital alive if it hadn't been for you"  
"Danny had a lot to do with it too you know"  
In typical Danny Williams 'ranting' form he threw an arm into the air, "My God McGarrett! Can't you just say 'You're Welcome'?"  
Steve looked at Danny incredulously before looking back to Chin and stating simply, "You're welcome"

"Boss, it looks like you've got quite an infection here" The men all turned their attention back to the crudely stitched hand which Kono was gently cradling in her hands. The hand was swollen and red. The gash was oozing pus and blood in several places.  
Danny grimaced, "Jesus Steven, you say it hurts 'a bit'?"  
"Yeah, just a bit"  
Danny chuckled, "You're unbelievable, you know that?"  
"But you love me"  
"That I do partner, that I do. Let's get you to the hospital now"  
"I can walk"  
"Are you sure? How's your head feel?"  
"It hurts…...just a bit"  
They all smiled at the brief moment of levity as Kono re-wrapped his hand. The men then helped Steve to his feet and after wrapping him in a blanket, he leaned on Danny for support. Then with Chin and Kono leading the way they began their final trek from the forest.

**505050505050505050505050**

It took a long time to make it out of the forest. They had to stop twice as Steve doubled over with abdominal pains but he refused to be carried.

Once at Chin's truck they settled Steve on the backseat with his head in Danny's lap. It was almost midnight when Chin pulled onto the Pali Highway with Kono following in Steve's truck.

Halfway to the hospital Steve grew restless and Danny grabbed his upper arm tightly, "Relax Steve…..Chin how long?"  
Chin glanced back at them, "About twenty minutes. Do you need me to stop?"  
"Steve are you gonna puke? Should we stop?"  
"No…..nno ….ooh sshit…hurts so ddamn bbad"  
"I know babe, I know. Try to relax….slow down your breathing now….slow babe, in…out…in…out…relax…."  
"Oh God…"  
"I got you….nice and slow Steve…nice and slow" Eventually Danny felt Steve's body relax, "That's it partner…relax"  
"Danny….'m sso sorry"  
"Stop buddy…..ssshhhh, relax now. Don't talk…..ssshhhh"  
Steve's eyes closed and he continued to mumble softly, "'M so ssorryy Dddanno"

Once they arrived at the hospital, Steve was brought into a room immediately and they let Danny accompany him. The Doctor came in a short time later and after a brief examination the Doctor sent Steve upstairs for a CT Scan and the he stayed to speak with Danny. Danny told him everything about the Meth addiction and his symptoms of paranoia and depression as well as of the intense physical pains and vomiting he'd been experiencing. He told him of the beating he'd endured at the hands of the cartel thugs and of the cuts to his hands. And he told him of Steve's issues with nightmares.

"Doc, I had a hard time convincing him to come here at all and I'm sure he won't agree to stay long"  
"Well I'm glad you got him here. Are you going to want to stay with him tonight?"  
"Yes, absolutely"  
"They're going to clean him up. If you can wait in the first floor waiting room, I'll send the Nurse in to get you once he's settled"  
"Thank you Doc" Shaking hands, Danny then left to re-join his teammates who were already in the waiting room.

Chin and Kono stood as Danny entered, "How is he?"  
"I don't know Chin. They took him for a CT Scan and then they'll get him into a room"  
"Danny, he took a hell of a beating"  
"I know but that's not what's worrying me. The damn meth is pulling all kinds repressed memories to the forefront of his mind"  
Kono stated softly, "Oh God"  
"Kono, we just need to be here for him. Whatever he needs, we need to be here"  
Kono looked into Danny's eyes, "So you're okay? You've forgiven him?"  
Tears welled in his eyes as he said softly, "No, I…..I can't, but I owe him this much. Once this is over though and he's strong enough, I'm done"

Danny turned from his friends and walked over to the table. Pulling out his cellphone, he called the Governor, Duke, Joe and Rachel giving them all the news that Steve was alive and safe but in rough shape physically and emtionally. He and Rachel agreed that he would be at her place when Gracie came home from school so they could give her the great news together.

Several minutes passed before Chin approached, setting a steaming cup of coffee in front of him.  
Danny placed his hands on the hot styrofoam cup, "Thank you brother, where's Kono?"  
"She just took a little walk"  
"I didn't mean to upset her Chin"  
"Hey, we're all on edge and not thinking clearly"

"Chin I'm thinking very clearly and I mean everything I've said. He told us he was DEAD for God's sake! DEAD Chin! You can't be alright with this?"  
"No, no I'm not but I don't think you should act impulsively either. You said you owe him…...well at least give him the chance to explain his actions. I'd say you owe him at least that"  
With no further words Chin stood from the table and left the room leaving Danny quietly staring out the large window into the blackness of the Hawaiian night.

********* MUCH MORE TO FOLLOW ***********


	32. Chapter 32

Danny sat for several minutes before picking up his phone and dialing Rachel again.  
"Danny, are you alright?"  
"Rach, I need to know something. Are you still sure…about us?"  
"Daniel, why are you questioning that? Of course I'm sure….aren't you?"  
"Yes, of course I'm sure. I'm sorry honey. It's been a rough few days. I guess I just needed to hear you say it again"  
"Sweetheart, I love you with all my heart and I cannot wait until we are living together as a family, all four of us"  
"Thank you dear. I can't wait either. Rachel….what would you think about moving back to Jersey?"  
"What are you saying Danny? You're leaving 5-0?"  
"Rachel…I can't do it anymore. Steve is a great man, an amazing man….but he doesn't trust me"  
She interrupted him, "Baby you know that's not true, you know he trusts you and he loves you"

"Not only did he take off on his own to find Matty, not the first time he has done that either, but he made us believe he was dead? Rachel, you saw how that news tortured Gracie. She's had nightmares over losing him. How could he do this?"

"Daniel, I will go wherever you decide to go as long as we're together but I need you to promise me something"  
"What is it?"  
"You love him don't you?"  
"Of course I do. That's why I'm here"  
"Well Danny, you're not the only one who loves him. Gracie adores him. Do you really want to take this wonderful man from her life? Talk to him, listen to him. Don't make such an important decision hastily"

Danny chuckled slightly, "Did Chin call you?"  
"No…..why?"  
"He pretty much told me the same thing"  
"I would say he's a pretty smart man"  
Danny sighed softly, "Thank you sweetheart, I love you"  
"I love you too. Take care of him and I'll see you tomorrow"  
"Get some sleep now, bye"  
He hung up the phone as his two colleagues re-entered the room and moved towards him. They were carrying sodas and sandwiches from the cafeteria.

Kono set the food in front of him, "Gourmet baby, turkey, bacon and cheddar"  
"Sounds great! Thank you"  
Chin asked, "Any word yet?"  
"No. I wonder what's taking so long?"  
Kono responded, "It hasn't been that long Danny. He had a lot of wounds to dress"  
"Yeah, you're right. Hey, with everything that's been happening this week I didn't get a chance to tell you guys my news. Rachel and I are back together. She's filed for divorce from Stan"

Kono smiled as Chin stated, "We're very happy for you Danny"  
"There's more. Charlie might be mine"  
"What?"  
"Rachel thinks she might have been wrong with the dates. We're going to have a DNA test done"  
"Wow, what a week"  
"Yeah, it sure has been. I talked to her about Steve while you two were gone and she told me the same thing you did Chin. I am upset with him but I do owe him the opportunity to tell me his reasons"

Kono reached over and squeezed Danny's forearm, "That's good Danny. Whatever decision you make you need to be certain about it"  
"I agree"  
Chin then added, "If you want to talk about it Danny, we're both here for you. We're Ohana brah...always"  
"Thank you both. You're right Chin, we are Ohana and for now he needs us and nothing else matters. Any decision I need to make can wait"  
Kono motioned to the doorway, "Danny, the Doctor's here"

**505050505050505050505050**

They all stood and shook hands with Doctor Elijah Kam.  
"Sit, please"  
Danny spoke for the group, "Doc, how is he?"  
"He's a tough young man. We stitched his eyebrow and cheek and set his nose. He does have a concussion and that combined with the Meth in his system is troublesome. We need to make sure he stays coherent. He also has two broken and two cracked ribs but there are no signs of internal bleeding. His hand is infected and it took a while to clean it out. Due to the Meth we could only give him a local anesthetic to numb it. There were several pieces of glass deeply imbedded in the wound but I believe we got it all out. He's going to be very sore for a while. The good thing is that I did not see any damage to the nerves or ligaments, it appears to be all tissue damage. I have prescribed him oral antibiotics for the infection and codeine for the pain. Meth can intensify pain and the codeine will help him sleep. He's in his room and he's insistent on leaving now. I would love to keep him at least until morning. He's dehydrated he really needs saline IV's for several hours at least"

Chin asked, "Doctor, the withdrawal from the Meth…can you give him anything to ease the symptoms?"  
"Not the way he's doing it. We never recommend stopping Meth cold turkey. It's much easier to ease off it, but he's being quite stubborn and insisting on taking no more. I'll tell you now that he has not even begun to experience the worst of this. From what you've told me he's experiencing pains and cramping as well as paranoia and depression, but it will get much worse. The blood tests show a large amount of Meth in his system. He's in the 'tweaking' phase right now and this could last a few more days. It's very important that he's not left alone during this time. Many abusers experience a complete psychotic state and they can be dangerous to themselves or others. Then he'll crash for two to three days, sleeping most of the time. The next phase, the 'hangover' could last up to fourteen days followed by the actual withdrawal phase which could last up to ninety days. He'll experience depression, energy loss and the ability to experience pleasure. When the craving for more Meth hits, the abuser often becomes suicidal. I'm sorry to be so blunt about this, but your friend has a very tough road ahead of him. I will give him a prescription for low dose meth tablets so he has them available if he changes his mind"

Danny responded, "Thank you Doctor Kam. I'll talk to him about all of this. Unfortunately in our line of business we know the horrors of this drug all too well. It's awfully hard watching one of our own go through it though. And don't worry, he WILL be spending the night and I'll stay with him at his home through the whole process"  
"Good, he will need the support. We've set up two cots in his room for you"  
"Perfect. Can we see him now?"  
"Absolutely. I'll take you up there"

They all followed the Doctor and as they exited the elevator they heard the noise and commotion coming from room 247.  
"COMMANDER McGARRETT PLEASE, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF!"  
"I'M NOT STAYING HERE ANY LONGER…"  
The Doctor and three detectives entered the room to find Steve halfway off the bed as two Nurses struggled with him.

Danny hollered, "STEVEN! KNOCK IT OFF! What in the hell are you doing?"  
"Danny, I want you to get me the hell out of here! They did their tests, now please take me home"  
Danny and Chin moved to their leaders side and the Nurses gladly stepped aside. As Chin lifted Steve's legs back onto the bed Danny held his shoulders firmly while leaning close to his ear and talking calmly, "You said you trusted me, now I need you to listen. Lay back and relax so we can talk okay?"

Danny felt the tension ease in his partner's shoulders as he did as he was instructed, laying his head back on the pillow. The Jersey detective then pulled the blankets up to his chest leaving his arms out above them. A Nurse stepped in and took a quick look at his IV line, "It's good, he didn't pull it out"

Danny looked at her nametag and responded, "Thank You Maria. Can you give us a minute with him?"

She gave them a sweet smile stating, "Just ring if you need us. His medication is on the tray"  
Danny smiled back, "Thank You"  
Dr. Kam left as well letting them know that he would return before nine o'clock in the morning to check on the patient.

Danny took Steve's bandaged right hand in his and stood looking down at the SEAL, lying still with his eyes close. Chin and Kono stood at his left side. His injured left hand was heavily bandaged and mobilized by a brace. Kono placed her soft hand on his forearm, tenderly stroking the bruised flesh which was covered with track marks from the numerous Meth injections.

Several minutes passed in silence before Steve spoke, his eyes still closed, "I want to get out of here Danno"  
"I know you do but you're dehydrated and you need the IV fluids at least until morning"  
"I feel fine and I want to go home"  
"Steve…babe you ARE NOT fine. One night of following the Doc's orders is not going to kill you. Please do this for us"  
Steve's eyes opened and he looked at Danny, then Chin, and finally his gaze fell on Kono. What he saw in her eyes tore at his heart. He saw fear, concern and love but worst of all, he saw disappointment. He looked back to Danny and said softly, "Okay…..I'm sorry"

Danny took the pills and a glass of water from the table, "Here partner, you need to take these?"  
"No, no…what are they for?"  
"An antibiotic for your hand and codeine to help you sleep"  
"No codeine Danny, I don't want it"  
"You need to sleep buddy. It will help you relax, please take it"  
"It'll give me nightmares Danny…..I can't….." His voice cracked with emotion, "No nightmares…..I can't"  
"Okay babe, I hear you…..no codeine, I got it"  
Kono lifted his head off the pillow and Danny put the antibiotic into his mouth and then brought the straw to his lips. Kono then placed his head gently back onto the pillow and she leaned in and kissed his cheek. She then stroked his forehead and whispered encouragement to him softly. Danny and Chin pulled chairs up to the bedside and watched as Steve closed his eyes.

******** MUCH MORE TO FOLLOW – please let me know what you think, I hope you're enjoying! *********


	33. Chapter 33

Steve slept quietly for a short time and woke to find Danny at his side, his attention turned to the television. He saw Kono and Chin curled up under blankets and sleeping on the nearby cots. He spoke softly, "Hey what are you watching?"  
"Oh hey there, um Rocky 4. Not much to choose from at this time of night"  
"I guess not"  
Danny chuckled and turned down the volume, "You didn't sleep long"  
"I've hardly slept in days buddy"  
"Well I hate to tell you this, but you look like it"  
"Damn it Danno…..this is hard man, it's so fucking hard. This is a nasty drug"  
"You can beat this, you're strong enough…...and you're not alone. I promise you you're not alone"

"It's going to get bad Danno. This isn't your problem buddy"  
"You're so wrong Steve. You're my partner but more importantly…..you're the best friend I've ever had. Your problems are my problems and I'll be by your side the entire time, I promise you that"

"You may change your mind. If you choose to walk away, I won't blame you"  
"You know what, you're starting to make me mad. Don't you get it McGarrett? I love you partner and I'm here for you"  
"Your voice mail Danny…."  
Danny interrupted him, "Steve please...listen to me and listen good. All I'm going to say right now is that I was angry, very angry when I left that message and I'm so sorry I left it. I DO wish you had listened to the message I left after it. But for now Steven, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters except healing you…NOTHING! We will need to talk when you're doing better, but now is not the time okay?"

Steve voice shook, "I'm sorry Danno, for everything"  
"I want you to promise me something"  
"What?"  
"That's the last time I want to hear those words from you until we have our talk. You have NOTHING to do with the condition you are in and you have nothing to be sorry about"  
"I promise…I love you too man…I'm really tired D"  
"Close your eyes then and I'll go back to Rocky vs. Drago"  
"Horrible movie…..they killed Apollo Creed!"  
Danny grinned, "Some things should never be allowed to happen. Go to sleep now"  
Steve closed his eyes and soon he was snoring softly as Danny leaned back in the chair and he too fell asleep.

**5050505050505050505050505050   
**  
Danny woke less than an hour later to his partner's restless movements on the bed next to him.  
He stood and wringing out a wet cloth from the table next to him and gently dabbed at Steve's sweat drenched face and neck. Several minutes passed before Steve's eyes opened. They looked glazed over and he appeared to be confused as Danny spoke to him calmly, "Hey buddy, you okay?"  
Steve blinked several times before saying, "Uhhhh yeah…I'm thirsty"  
"No problem"  
After helping Steve take a few sips of water he asked, "You seem a little confused Steve, can you tell me where you are?"  
"I'm in the damn hospital"  
Danny grinned, "Yes you are. Do you know why?"  
Steve closed his eyes for a moment before responding softly, "Matt…...Danny, how's Matt?"  
"I'll call him in a bit, but when I saw him yesterday he was doing well. He came through the surgery fine. You know, I haven't even thanked you yet. You saved his life partner…thank you"

Steve said groggily, "No problem. Your family is my family Danno. I'm really tired partner"  
Danny again brought the cloth to Steve's face, "I'm right here babe. You sleep now…..sssshhhhhh, I'm right here"  
The SEAL again drifted off as Danny continued to tend to him.

About an hour later Kono woke and took over for Danny so he could lay down.  
Steve woke a short time later and after taking a few more sips of water, Kono took his hand in hers rubbing it tenderly.  
"Kono…..I know I've disappointed you. I feel so weak"  
"Oh God boss, if I've made you feel that way I'm sorry. You are not weak in any way. You're the strongest man I've ever known. I'm just worried about you because I care and I love you"

Tears welled in his eyes as he struggled to maintain his composure, "I'm so lucky to have the three of you"  
"We're lucky to have you Steve" Suddenly a wave of pain hit and he cried out. Kono tightened her grip on his hand, "Squeeze hard boss, it'll pass" His eyes closed and tears slid down his cheek. Kono reached up with her free hand and wiped them away, "Relax Steve….relax"

The pain was intense and he instinctively pulled his knees up. The commotion woke Danny and Chin and in moments they were both back at his side working to calm him. His breathing was fast and the heart monitor next to the bed showed his heart has beating dangerously fast. Danny placed one hand on Steve's chest and his other on his forehead. He leaned close to Steve's ear, "Hey partner, you need to relax for me now"  
"DANNY, OH SHHHITT…..iit hhurts man"  
"I know babe, slow down your breathing….come on now, nice and slow….in….out…breathe slow babe…."

Nurse Bonnie entered the room and as Danny continued talking to Steve, Chin and Kono moved out of the way for her. Steve was responding to Danny and his heart rate was slowing, but it was still beating way too fast.  
"You're doing great Steve, relax….relax…"  
Bonnie asked, "Have you gotten him to agree to take the codeine tablet?"  
Danny shook his head, "Hey buddy, I need you to trust me okay?"  
"Yyeah….wwhat?"  
"Steve, I need you to take the codeine"  
"NNNOO! DDaanno…..pplease nno!"  
"Listen partner, your heart rate is way too high. We've got to get it down. Trust me, we have to do this"  
Steve had grabbed his forearm with his bandaged right hand and Danny felt the shakiness in his grip. The fear of the drug was obvious in his voice as he answered softly, "Okay…ookayy"

Kono slid next to Danny and handed him the pill. Bonnie lifted his head from the pillow and Danny placed the pill in his mouth. Kono brought the straw to his mouth and he took several sips of water and then Bonnie set his head gently back onto the pillow.

"That's good Steve, now close your eyes and relax, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere"  
"Danny…it's nno ggood…."  
"Ssshhhhh, don't talk"  
It only took a few minutes for Steve's heart rate to drop, "Good job Superman, sleep now"  
"Danno wwhy buddy?" Steve was rambling incoherently as he talked about Jack, "It's mmy fault. He's ddead Danno…oh God wwhat have I done?"

Bonnie looked at Danny, "He's much better, try to keep him calm and hit the call button if you need me"  
"Thank you Bonnie"  
"DDanny? Danny?"  
"Hey, I'm right here Steve"  
"I mmade hhim pull the trigger Daanny…..oh God why? I killed hhim"  
"Steve sshhhhhhhh…stop now. It wasn't your fault. You had no choice, neither one of you had a choice and you know that"

Steve continued to ramble on about Jack as he fought sleep for more than half an hour, terrified of the nightmares he was certain would come. Eventually though, the Meth, the codeine and the fact that his body was purely exhausted won the battle and he slept.

Convinced he was asleep, the three detectives moved to the side of the room to talk so they wouldn't wake him.  
Kono asked, "Danny, what is he upset about? Who's Jack and what happened?"  
Danny ran a hand through his hair, "You both remember the case with the ex-SEAL Spencer Malloy?"  
"Yes, of course we do. Steve had a tough time with that"  
"He had more than a tough time Kono, it was hell on him. Spencer reminded him of Jack Lynch. Jack was a member of one of Steve's last SEAL teams and they had a mission go bad. Jack and Steve were captured and tortured by cartel members in South Africa who were plotting to overthrow the Government. Steve's team had been sent to assassinate the leader of the cartel. The Drug Lord forced them to play Russian roulette and Jack was killed. Steve blames himself for that"

"How can he blame himself Danny?"  
"Because he's McGarrett and that's what McGarrett does. He carries the whole fucking world on his shoulders and no matter how many times he's told it's not his fault…he'll still blame himself. That mission was Jack's first….and last. He was petrified and Steve had to convince him to pull the damn trigger or their captors would have killed him anyway. Steve convinced him that at least he had a chance that way. Steve pulled the trigger twice on himself, but the second time for Jack was deadly. He died only seconds before the rest of their team arrived to rescue them"

Tears were flowing down Kono's cheeks as she said softly, "Oh my God, poor Steve"  
Chin pulled her into an embrace as Danny continued, "Guys he has told me things about missions and the men he lost that would absolutely break your heart. I hate to break his confidence but I'm telling you about Jack because I'm going to need your help getting his through this. The drugs are going bring many horrific events to the forefront of his mind and it's not going to be pretty. He's vulnerable right now and we have to stay strong for him"

Chin responded, "Thank you for telling us Danny. We can all only imagine the torture, both mental and physical, that he went through over the years. We call him SuperSeal and a Hero, well those words are appropriate. He's given so much to this country"  
Danny added, "And yet he never complains and he's always ready and willing to give more, to risk everything"  
Kono looked at her friends and then looking at Steve and with her voiced choked with emotions she said, "That's what makes him a Hero"

************ LOTS MORE TO COME, Thanks as always for reading and reviewing ! ************


	34. Chapter 34

Steve was still sleeping when Dr. Kam arrived at about eight thirty. Not wanting to wake the patient, he and Danny went out in the hallway to discuss Steve's condition.  
"You know I think it would be best if he stayed here at least a couple of days so we could continue to monitor him. Attempting to withdrawal cold turkey from Meth is very dangerous and the racing heartbeat he experienced is an example of the dangers he faces. He could easily go into cardiac arrest or suffer a stroke. I ask that you try to convince him to check into a re-hab facility. That would be the best place for him right now"

"There's no way he'll agree to that. You said last night that he was being stubborn, well Doc that is an understatement when it comes to our leader"  
"Really, he's always like this?"  
Danny grinned sleepily, "Welcome to my world Doctor Kam. I will talk to him though"  
The Doctor chuckled, "Let him sleep and I'll be back about one o'clock"  
"Sounds good. Thank You" They shook hands and before going back into the room, Danny called the Governor and then he also called Washington and talked to Matthew.

Once done he re-entered the room and the three detectives sat at the table in the corner of the room talking quietly.  
Chin asked, "How's Matt doing?"  
"Good. He's relieved that Steve is with us now. He gave me more information on what happened to them. They were pumping that fucking poison into him every couple of hours guys. From what Matty says, the hallucinations were pretty bad. He saw Steve in full out SEAL mode and it really shook him up quite a bit. He took out those six men in quite brutal fashion"

Chin responded, "He did what he had to do Danny"  
"Oh I know that and believe me, I can't thank him enough. He's unbelievable. I also talked to the Governor and he's fully behind Steve"  
Kono smiled, "Thank God"  
Danny continued, "Due to Steve's condition and Chin's injury he's placing us all on paid leave for six weeks. He spoke with Doctor Kam and not only is the State going to provide round the clock nursing care for the first two weeks he's home but Doctor Kam will stop by daily to check on him.

Chin sighed, "That's all very good news. Do you think he'll accept the nursing care?"  
"He doesn't have a choice Chin. Both the Doctor and Denning want him in re-hab but he's agreed to this. Steve's also going to have to agree to bi-weekly drug testing for six months"

Kono looked at him angrily, "What? Denning doesn't trust him?"  
"Kono, we can't blame Denning for this"  
"Danny, HE can't blame Steve either!"  
Chin grabbed her arm, "Hey cuz, settle down. He's not blaming Steve, but he has to protect himself. Steve has a real problem and submitting to the tests is not a bad thing"

She paused a moment, "I suppose you're right"  
Chin grinned, "Of course I am"  
Danny added, "Kono, the Governor does trust him. He's doing this to protect himself and to protect Steve"  
She put up her hand, "Alright, alright, alright…...it's just...I love him and I hate to see him going through all of this"  
"And your defense of him is honorable, but look at the big picture sweetheart. He needs lots of TLC now but before things are back to normal we're probably all going to have to give him a little 'tough love' as well"

Kono responded, "And we'll be there for him. Danny, does Gracie know he's alive?"  
"No, but I've talked to Rachel. I'm planning on being there when she gets home from school today to tell her. Could you two stay with him while I'm gone"  
"Of course. What about Catherine? Shouldn't we call her?"  
"I'll leave that up to him, but I'll talk to him about it"  
Kono nodded in agreement, "Would you guys like something to eat?"  
Danny stated, "Yeah something small, and a BIG cup of coffee would be great!"  
"Chin?"  
"Same for me cuz, thanks"  
"You bet, I'll be back in a little bit"

After she left the room the men sat quietly watching the sleeping SEAL.  
"Danny, he should go into re-hab. You know that"  
"I agree but we both know he's not going to agree to that. I'll try to convince him though Chin, I will"  
They were interrupted as Steve began to wake and they made their way back to his side.

**505050505050505050505050**

"Hey partner, how do you feel?"**  
**Steve closed his eyes and mumbled sleepily, "Just wonderful D"  
"You're full of shit too"  
"I DO have to use the bathroom" He started to push himself up.  
Danny grabbed his upper arm, "Hey, hey….slow down and let me help you"  
"I'm fine Danny, I can do this myself"  
"The codeine could make you dizzy so please don't argue with me"  
Steve sighed deeply, "Yes sir"  
"See, aren't things much easier when you just do what I say"  
"Yes Danny"  
Chin was chuckling as he moved closer and Danny asked, "What's so funny brother?"  
Grinning at the now smiling Steve, the Asian detective stated, "Oh, nothing Danny"  
The two men helped Steve out of bed and they moved slowly towards the bathroom.

Once at the bathroom door Steve reached over and took hold of the IV pole. "I'm good now, I've got this"  
"Okay, I'll wait right here but holler if you need me"  
Several minutes later he emerged from the bathroom and shooed Danny and Chin away.  
"Danny please, you're hovering babe. I'm good. I promise"  
"I'm sorry man"  
"Didn't you make me promise not to use that word? Well the same goes for you buddy. YOU certainly have nothing to be sorry for"  
"Okay but you do know that you don't have to be a tough guy around us"  
"I know that…..and thank you"  
Danny backed off but instead of walking to the bed, Steve moved towards the table, "Where are you going?"  
Steve and Chin both looked at him and said in unison, "DANNY STOP!"  
The Jersey detective threw up his hands in exasperation and followed his partner to the chair.

Steve moaned softly as he lowered himself into it, "What time is it?"  
Chin looked at his watch, "Almost ten"  
"What? Didn't the Doc say he was coming in early? I want to get out of here"  
Danny pointed a finger in his partner's direction, "Hey, now you WILL listen to me. Calm down, do you hear me. If you get all worked up and your heart starts racing again you're going to take more codeine whether you want to or not!"

Steve said softly, "I'm perfectly calm boss, where's the Doctor?"  
"You were sleeping when he stopped up. He's coming back around one o'clock"  
"Okay…..I guess that's acceptable"  
"You don't really have a choice Steven. There are a few other things you need to know"  
"What?"  
Danny told him about his talk with Governor Denning and the arrangements that had made for his at-home care.  
"I don't need a nurse at home and certainly not for two weeks!"  
"Would you rather go into re-hab?"

Steve's voice cracked slightly, "There is no way in hell I'm going into re-hab. I can do this on my own, I just need time. I'll talk to the Governor"  
"Steve listen. The Governor has your back on this. He guaranteed me that leadership of 5-0 is yours, no matter how long it takes for you to get back to work. He wants you healthy partner, we all do. Your mind is messed up right now. You know that we want what's best for you right?"

"Yeah, of course I do"  
"Then buddy I'm telling you to do what the Governor asks, thank him and don't ask questions. He's going above and beyond to help you but he has to protect himself"  
"You're right Danny. I should really call him though"  
"I told him you would call him tomorrow after you were settled at home"  
"Thanks"  
"You're welcome"

**505050505050505050505050**

They all looked up as Kono re-entered the room. "Well look who's up and about! I hope you're hungry boss"  
"I could go for some coffee"  
Kono responded, "The nurse said decaf only buddy. But they told me you're not on a restricted diet at all"  
"I hate decaf"  
Danny jumped in, "Steven, a couple of hours ago you were on the verge of heart attack, your heart was racing so damn fast. You sure in the hell don't need caffeine"

He looked to Kono, "Decaf would be wonderful. Thank you Kono"  
She handed the men their coffee's and then pulled out bagels and cream cheese, breakfast sandwiches with bacon and egg on English muffins and fruit cups.  
Chin asked, "What would you like Steve?"  
"I'm really not hungry, the coffee should be good"  
"Steve, you have to eat something"  
Danny then asked, "When was the last time you ate partner?"  
The SEAL looked at them confused, "I'm not sure? What day is it?"  
Danny added, "Hey, it's okay. Will you try to eat some fruit?"  
"Yeah….yeah"  
Danny told Steve about talking to Matty as they ate and sipped coffee.  
After eating a few strawberries and blueberries Steve asked, "I think I could maybe handle an egg"  
Kono handed him a sandwich and he opened it up, picking at the egg with his fork.

As he nibbled on the food Danny let him know that he needed to go see Gracie after school today.  
"Gracie…oh God Danno"  
Danny grabbed his forearm, "Steve, remember…..we'll talk about this later okay? Today is a great day because I get to tell her that you're alive"  
"Is she alright?"  
"I've never lied to you partner, and I'm not going to start now….it's been extremely hard on her. She loves you very much"

Steve sat forward and with his elbows resting on the table he buried his face in his hands sobbing, "Oh my God, what have I done" At this moment Steve couldn't help but break his promise and Danny didn't attempt to stop him as through his tortured sobs he repeated over and over again, "I'm sorry…..oh God I'm so so sorry"

********* Much more to come ********  
**


	35. Chapter 35

They all sat around the table quietly until Steve began to settle down. Danny spoke to him calmly, "Babe let's get you back into bed"  
"No…..no, I don't want to lie down. I'm going home, NOW" Reaching down he ripped the IV needle from his hand and he pushed himself up from the table.  
"Steve, come on man the Doctor will be here in a couple of hours"  
"Danny….I'm leaving now. If you won't take me, I'll call a cab. Now where are my clothes?"  
"Um…they're on the path at Hanauma Bay"  
"You left my clothes in the forest?"  
"Excuse me, but if you recall my hands a little full. I was more worried you at the time"  
Chin stated, "Your truck is here Steve. I'll go grab your go-bag"  
Danny glared at Chin, his nostrils flaring "You're not helping here Chin"  
Kono reached into her pocket and handed Steve's car keys to Chin. Steve looked at them, "Thank you"

Danny threw his arms in the air in defeat, "Fine, just fine! I'm going to go see if I can find the Doctor"  
Danny and Chin left the room and Kono moved over to the room's window where Steve stood, staring out aimlessly.  
She stood next to him, not speaking….she was just there….supporting him.  
Several minutes passed before he spoke, his voice tinged with pain "I never meant to hurt you guys, I promise you that"

"We know that Steve, but please understand how painful this was for all of us. We mourned for you, we were in shock. The thought of losing you was devastating to all of us" She paused momentarily, "Danny was told first….we were at your place and I woke to his screams of grief…horrible, guttural screams of pain and despair. I will never forget those cries. I found him curled up in a fetal position, sobbing on your front lawn. Steve, I'm not telling you this to upset you. I'm telling you this so you'll understand what we've been through"

He turned to face her, "Can you ever forgive me?"  
"I forgave you the moment I heard you were alive. Steve…. we all forgive you"  
"Danny doesn't"  
"We are all so thankful you're alive, and if he didn't forgive you, he wouldn't be here boss. That doesn't mean that he's not going to want answers though"  
"Did you see Gracie?"  
"Yes. As Danny said, she took the news very hard. She's nine years old and she adores you"  
"I did this alone to keep Danny safe. I did this for Gracie….."  
Tears slid down his cheeks and Kono pulled him into an embrace, whispering into his ear "Please be strong….I love you"  
"I love you too, and Kono…..thank you…thank you for telling me these things"

Chin walked in with Steve's bag stating, "It looks like Danny's talking to Doctor Kam right now"  
Steve kissed Kono's forehead and then taking the bag from Chin he walked gingerly to the bathroom.  
Chin looked at his cousin, "Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah…he's feeling guilty Chin. He asked for forgiveness"  
"What did you say to him?"  
"I told him we forgive him but that we needed answers. I told him how hurt we were by thinking he was dead"  
Chin ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "Kono, remember he's not in his right mind. We need to be very careful about what we say to him. He can become easily depressed" He noticed the blood drain from her face, "Kono….what is it?"

"I told him about our grieving. I told him about Danny's anguish and of finding him curled on the ground…sobbing. Oh Chin…"  
Chin placed his hands on her shoulders, "It's okay honey. Even if he didn't have the junk in his system, he would feel guilty…that's just Steve and we can't lie to him, that would only make things worse. We just need to try to not talk about his actions now. Once his mind is clear and he can handle it, then we'll talk. If he brings it up again just be firm with him and tell him we'll deal with things when he's better. Right now Kono, he needs to be reassured constantly that we're here, that we love him and that nothing will ever change that"

They turned and smiled at Steve as he came from the bathroom.  
"You doing okay?"  
Steve nodded, "Yeah Chin….thanks for helping me with Danno. He worries too much"  
"Don't think we're not worried too. In fact, I think you should be in a re-hab facility Steve. You shouldn't try to do this without professional help"  
"Chin, I have to do this on my own. You guys don't have to stay…..I'll be fine"  
"You know that's not going to happen. We're ohana brah and we're not going anywhere. Now please sit down and wait for Danny"  
Steve smiled at his friends and moving to the table they all sat.

**50505050505050505050505050  
**  
Danny and Doctor Kam walked in a short time later.  
Danny shook his head, "Well, at least you're still here"  
Doctor Kam grinned, "So Commander, I hear you've decided to leave our fine facility?"  
"It's nothing personal Doc. Thank you though for all you've done for me"  
The Doctor sat in a chair facing Steve, "Mr. McGarrett…"  
Steve interrupted, "Doctor Kam, please call me Steve"  
"Okay, Steve. I need to say this even th…."  
"Respectfully Doc...don't bother. I'm not going into re-hab and I'm not staying here. I appreciate your concern but I can do this on my own"  
"I know we talked yesterday about the stages you'll go through and the symptoms you'll suffer. Do you have any questions?"  
"No Doc. I understand fully what I'm in for"  
"You're fortunate to have a wonderful group of friends to support you. Unfortunately there's no quick or easy fix to this. Along with the antibiotics, I'm sending you home prescriptions for Codeine and Wellbutrin. The Wellbutrin can help with the cravings and if you need the Codeine for pain, please use it. Now before you leave I would like to check you over and re-dress your hand"

The three detectives left the room and a short time later Doctor Kam joined them in the hallway.  
"He's getting dressed"  
"How is he Doc?"  
"Physically, he's terribly sore but I really can't insist he stay. All I can suggest to you is to keep him as calm and quiet as possible and do everything you can to get him to take the prescribed drugs. They will help him"

He shook their hands and agreed to stop by in the morning to check up on him. He also let them know that the first nurse would arrive at seven that evening. There would be four nurses rotating twelve hour shifts.

A short time later the men were on their way home and Kono was making stops to fill Steve's prescriptions and to pick up some groceries.

Steve laid across the back seat of Chin's truck with his back to his friends. He stared at the seat, grimacing in pain at every bump in the road. Every few minutes Danny would call back to him, "Hey you doing okay partner?"  
Steve would motion with his hand that he was fine. He couldn't talk. Every inch of his body hurt and the nausea was horrible. God he just wanted to get home….

Twenty minutes later Chin pulled into the McGarrett driveway. Danny opened the door and leaning over Steve he placed a hand on his shoulder, "We're here babe, we're home. Are you alright?"  
"Can yyou give mme a minute Dddanno?"  
"There's no hurry….just relax" Steve's body was shaking in pain underneath his grip. Danny rubbed his shoulder and back for several minutes until he felt the tension in his body ease. "Are you ready partner?"

"Uh huh….yeah Danno"  
"Just sit up first Steve" Danny helped him up. His eyes were closed tightly and he was drenched in sweat.  
"God it hhurts D"  
"I know buddy. You lean on me now and I'll have you inside and resting in just a few minutes"  
"Danny…..thank you….for being here"  
"There's nowhere else I should be. Let's get you inside now"

Chin had gone in ahead of them to clean up the drugs and the broken beer bottle from the living room floor. He then placed blankets and pillows on the couch, finishing up as Steve and Danny came through the door. The men eased Steve onto the couch and covered his shivering body with blankets. Moments later the injured man was sleeping and while Chin sat with Steve, Danny went upstairs to clean bloody mess in his bedroom and bathroom.

Exhaustion overtook Steve and he slept soundly for the next couple of hours waking in the early afternoon. He went upstairs to shower and change clothes, coming back downstairs to find that Kono had returned and they were all in the kitchen preparing sandwiches and salads for lunch. Danny was unable to convince him to take any medication other than the antibiotic but he ate most of a sandwich and Danny decided now was not the time to pick a battle.

At three o'clock Danny left the others all sitting on the deck visiting, and taking Steve's truck he left to go see Gracie.

************ MORE TO COME *************


	36. Chapter 36

Danny arrived at Rachel's a few minutes before they were due home and he took the opportunity to rest. God he was tired! He closed his eyes and tipped his seat back slightly. As fate would have it, as soon as he dozed off he was awakened by his young daughter's squeals of "DANNO, DANNO, I've missed you!"

He jolted awake and grinned widely at his exuberant child, "Hey Monkey, I've missed you too. I'm sorry I've been so busy"  
He stifled a yawn causing her to respond, "Were you sleeping Danno?"  
"Huh, no…no…just resting my eyes dear. Did you have a good day at school?"

He had exited the truck and as Gracie spoke, they walked hand in hand a few feet behind Rachel who was carrying Charlie.

"Yes. Guess what daddy? I'm the best in my class in spelling and we're going to have a Spelling B with all the third grade classes. If I win that then I get to be in a tournament against other schools!"

"Wow, that is really exciting! I'm so proud of you. We'll have to practice alot"  
"I like to practice spelling, it's fun"  
They entered the house and Rachel turned to Grace, "Sweetheart, could you please get your Mom and Dad glasses of water and take them out onto the patio. Daddy and I are going to put Charlie down for a nap and then we'll be right out. We have lots to talk to you about"

"What is it Mommy? Is something wrong?"  
"No, No...let us put Charlie down dear. But I'll tell you this, it's great news!"  
Gracie grinned broadly, "Okay…hurry up please!"  
Danny chuckled, "We will Monkey…..you go now"  
Gracie skipped away singing One Direction's 'That's What Makes You Beautiful'. Danny laughed, "She's crazy"  
Rachel smiled back at him, adding "She's her daddy's girl"  
"That she is…that she is"  
They walked upstairs and after kisses and hugs for Charlie, Rachel laid him into his crib and taking the baby monitor they stepped into the hallway.

"Danny, I wanted a minute alone with you. Use your judgement but if you want to tell her about us…..I'm ready, and we should tell her…..together"  
"Really? Have you talked to Stan?"  
"Yes. I told him everything Danny. His time away helped him clear his head. He now sees that what we had was over a long time ago"  
"And he knows about us?"  
"Yes"  
"How did he take it?"  
"Amazingly well. I don't think it was much of a surprise to him"  
A little voice called out from the bottom of the stairs captured their attention, "Mommy, Danno….hurry up PPLLEEASSEE!"  
Danny reached out, placing his hand under her chin he pulled her to him, kissing her passionately. As they separated Rachel said breathlessly, "I love you Daniel Patrick Williams"  
"And I love you Rachel Miranda Kinlan Williams Edwards…Williams…" They chuckled and he kissed her again before he added softly, "forever"

Again the little voice called up to them, "Dannnnnooooo? Your ice is melting…"  
Rachel laughed, "I think she's ready for some good news"  
"Let's go"

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

They made their down the stairs looking at the little girl who was nearly bouncing out of her skin with excitement.  
Danny scooped her up into his arms and the three made their way out to the patio.  
He carried her and sat her on the bench with Rachel sitting on the other side of her.  
"Gracie, I have some wonderful and amazing news for you. Your Uncle Steve is alive"  
She smiled broadly pulling her hands to her face, "REALLY? OH DANNO REALLY?"  
"Yes baby, really!"  
Gracie flung herself onto his lap, wrapping her tiny arms tightly around his neck, "Oh Danno I'm so happy. Where is he? Is he here? When can I see him?"

"Whoa whoa baby! I'll answer all your questions, I promise"  
"Okay, okay…..where is he?"  
Rachel responded to her giddy daughter, "Gracie, I know you're excited but just let your daddy talk now and you listen"  
Gracie turned and faced her daddy as he continued, "He's at his house. I'm going to tell you what happened to him because I think that you're old enough to understand but I want you to ask me any questions you have okay?"  
"Okay Danno"

"Remember how I explained to you that Uncle Matt had gotten into trouble with some really bad guys and to keep him safe he had to change his name and go live somewhere else?"  
"Uh huh…and that we could never see him again. I miss Uncle Matty daddy"  
"I know honey, we all do. Last week Uncle Steve found out that the bad guys had found Uncle Matty and that they were going to hurt him unless Uncle Steve and I brought them a lot of money. I know in school you've been taught about drugs and to 'just say no' because drugs are so dangerous, right?"

"Yes Danno, the DARE program. Drugs are very scary"  
He hugged her and then pulling her to arms-length he continued, "You're right Gracie, drugs are very scary. Now I'm going to tell you what happened, but remember he's at home and he's getting better"

"Okay Danno. What happened?"  
"The people that Uncle Matty was hiding from found him and they took him. Uncle Steve decided to go find him without telling us?"  
"Why would he do that Danno? You're partners"

"Yes we are, but your Uncle Steve knew that these guys were really, really bad and he wanted to keep the rest of us safe. He knew that Chin, Kono and I wouldn't let him go alone so he had the Governor tell us that he was dead. He thought that was the only way he could keep us from going with him"

"Is Uncle Matt okay daddy?"  
"Yes, he's going to be fine. He was shot but Steve got him to a Doctor and they're taking good care of him"  
She responded softly, "Did Uncle Steve get shot too Danno?"

"No baby. The bad men beat Uncle Steve up and he's bruised up and pretty sore"  
Even at nine years old, the little girl sensed there was more, "Danno…what else did they do to him?"  
"Gracie these bad guys sell drugs to people and they tied Steve up and used needles to shoot drugs into his arms and it's made him very sick"  
"But you said he's getting better, right?"  
"Yes…yes he is but it's going to take a very long time and he's hurting really bad"  
"Can I go see him Danno?"  
"Not yet Monkey"  
"But Uncle Steve says I help him feel better when he's sick"  
"You do honey, but this is different. I need you to be a big girl and try to understand. I PROMISE you as soon as he's feeling a little better you can see him"

She reached up and hugged him stating softly, "I understand. Can I talk to him on the phone?"  
"Maybe tomorrow okay?"  
She pulled away from him and smiled as tears welled in her eyes, "Okay…..I'm so happy that Uncle Steve is not dead, but I'm sad when he's sick"  
"I know baby girl, me too. Gracie, Steve can't be left alone so I'm going to need to stay at his place and I won't be able to see you very much for the next few weeks, I need to take care of him, do you understand?"

"I know daddy. I want you to take care of him. Can I call you though?"  
"Monkey you can call me a hundred times a day!"  
She giggled and again reached up to hug and kiss him, "I love you Danno"  
"I love you too honey, with all my heart"

He decided it would be best to save the news about the divorce until the next time he saw her as they were all quite emotionally drained. He stayed and helped with her homework before leaving to head back to the McGarrett home.

As he pulled onto the freeway he phoned Kono, "Hey, how's our patient doing?"  
"He's hurting Danny…..and he's stubborn. He's still refusing to take any codeine"  
"Well, he never does anything the easy way does he?"  
She chuckled, "No he does not…how did it go with Gracie?"  
"She's worried about him but she's overjoyed that he's alive. Oh God Kono…..can you believe this?"  
"I know. A short time ago I we were wondering how we were going to survive without him. I'm still numb"  
"Yeah, me too. You haven't started anything for dinner have you?"  
"No not yet. I don't think anyone's very hungry"  
"How does soup and bread bowls sound?"  
"That would be perfect"  
"Can you two handle him until I get back?"  
"Oh yes, we're fine Danny"  
"Okay, see you soon"

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

When Danny returned he put the food on the kitchen counter and moved to join his friends on the deck.  
Chin and Kono were chatting as Danny asked, "Hey, where's Steve?"  
Chin motioned towards the water, "He wanted some time alone"  
"How long's he been down there?"  
"Not too long"  
"Does he seem depressed?"  
"No….but he's in obvious pain"  
"That's what Kono said. Soup's on the counter, help yourselves. I'm going to go check on him"  
As they moved inside, Danny walked down to the water's edge.

Steve was sitting in a wooden deck chair staring aimlessly out at the vast blue/green water.  
Danny sat in the chair next to him, not speaking for several minutes.  
Finally Steve spoke softly, "Is Gracie doing okay?"  
Danny smiled and laughed, "I don't think I've ever seen her so happy"  
"I should never have done this to you all…oh God Danny, I'm…."  
Danny interrupted him, "Don't say it Steven….don't say it"

"Stop the bullshit Danno, I'm sorry…."His voice choked with emotion as he continued, "Oh God….I'm so….sorry"  
He sat forward in his chair grimacing in pain, "Forgive me…please forgive me"

Danny moved to his partner's side telling him what he needed to here, "I forgive you partner" Standing at Steve's side he placed one strong hand on his shoulder while rubbing his back with the his other hand, "Relax Steve, it's going to be okay, I promise"

********* MUCH MORE TO COME, please let me know what you think….every review is greatly appreciated ! *********


	37. Chapter 37

Danny stood at Steve's side for a long time, rubbing his back and trying to calm him. He was bent over, his head resting against Steve's as he talked to him softly "Relax buddy, I've got you" Steve's entire body was tight with tension as intense pain coursed through his body. "Come on partner….relax…"

"Oh GGod Dannoo…I hhurt so bbad man"  
"Steve you need the meds babe"  
"NO! NO! Daanny I can't…the dreams partnnn…ner. I ccan't….."  
"I'll be right there with you…every minute, I promise. Please Steve. You need to rest…you need the codeine"  
"Oh God DDannoo, oh God…. I'm so ssorry"  
"SShhhhhhh, relax..." Suddenly Steve pushed him aside and dropping from the chair onto his knees he vomited violently onto the sand.

Danny stood next to his fallen partner. He stared out at the Ocean running his hands through his hair as he listened to the sounds of Steve vomiting. Closing his eyes, Danny silently prayed for his dear friend.  
Once the heaving stopped, Danny asked, "Are you done?"  
"Uh…..huh, yyeaahh" Danny reached down helping pull Steve to his feet.  
"Let's get you back inside, you've had a busy day"  
Steve staggered as he turned to walk towards the house and Danny grabbed his elbow to steady him. Holding Steve's arm tightly the men made their way up the slight embankment and across the yard.

They entered the kitchen to find Kono and Chin sitting at the table enjoying the soup and bread. The smell of the soup caused Steve to turn a sickly green color.  
Kono looked up, "You okay boss?"  
Steve motioned to her but did not speak, the answer obvious. Danny guided him slowly through the kitchen and into the living room where he helped ease him onto the couch. Low, pained moans came from injured man as he spoke quietly "Danny…"

"Yeah, I'm right here"  
"Please ssend them hhome"  
"Kono and Chin?"  
"Yeah…please ssend tthem hh….homee"  
"They want to help you babe"  
"D' please…." Steve's voice shook with emotion.  
Danny pulled a blanket over him stating, "Okay buddy, okay…..close your eyes and relax"  
"Oh sshit….."  
Danny ran his fingers through Steve's drenched and matted hair, "Sssshhhhh…..you're doing great…..sssshhhhhh"  
Once Steve had calmed down Danny told him he'd be right back and he went back into the kitchen.

Kono and Chin had finished eating and were visiting quietly as Danny pulled up a chair and joined them.  
Kono asked, "Can I get him some soup"  
Danny chuckled, "No, he just emptied his belly on the beach, I'm sure foods' the last thing he wants right now"  
"Has he agreed to take the codeine?"  
Danny ran his hands across his face before looking into the eyes of his friends, "No Chin...but guy's I need to ask you to go home"  
Kono was clearly upset, "Why Danny? We want to help him"  
"I know honey but in his current state of mind…."  
She interrupted him, "You mean he wants us to leave?"  
Chin spoke first, "Kono you can't take this personally"  
The Jersey detective sighed deeply, "He's not thinking clearly. Kono he's terrified of taking the codeine. He's certain it's going to give him nightmares and he doesn't want everyone around. He's hurting bad and you have to remember he went to that shed because he wanted to fight this alone. He knows you love him and that you'll be there whenever he needs you, but we have to do this his way okay?"

She nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek, "Okay, but you'll call us?"  
"Of course I will, and you can call or text me anytime to check on him. We have to take this a day a time. He'll have good days but he's going to have a hell of a lot of bad days, especially at first"  
They all stood and moved into the living room where they found Steve sleeping. Kono knelt and kissed his forehead and then she and Chin left the two men alone. Danny glanced at his watch. It was six thirty and the Nurse would be arriving shortly. Turning the television on, he sat in the recliner next to the couch and watched the news.

**50505050505050505050505050**

The nurse arrived about fifteen minutes later. She was a young Hawaiian girl named Lilianna and as Steve slept, Danny showed her around the house and put her bag into the spare bedroom. Not wanting to wake Steve they talked at the top of the stairs about his condition before making their way back to his side. They chatted quietly getting to know each other and a little after eight Steve woke.  
Danny looked at him, "Hey partner, we have company"  
Steve turned to greet Lilianna and then he pushed himself into a sitting position.  
The young woman moved closer asking, "How do you feel Steve?"  
"Honestly? I feel like hell" He grinned weakly at her, "I'm exhausted"  
"Well, let me take a look at you real quick and then you can go back to sleep"  
She briefly examined him and then as he made his way to the downstairs bathroom Danny went to the kitchen to get his medication and a bottle of water.

When Steve returned and sat down on the couch, Danny handed him the meds.  
Steve looked at him, "It's the anti-biotic and what?"  
Danny responded firmly, "The codeine…we discussed this already buddy and you agreed…."  
Steve interrupted him, "No, I did NOT agree. Let me try to sleep without it first"  
"Steven, sometimes I think you are masochist"  
The SEAL chuckled weakly, "I want to try without it first Danno"  
Danny rolled his eyes stating, "Whatever you say babe"  
Steve took the anti-biotic as Danny added, "Before you lie down, would you like some soup?"  
"No thank you, not tonight…..I'm not hungry. You two go ahead though"  
Danny turned to Lilianna, "Would you like some soup? We have Creamy Wild Rice or Broccoli and Cheese with bread bowls, or we also have Chicken Noodle"

She smiled, "No thank you Danny. I ate right before coming over"  
Danny slapped his hands onto his thighs and then stood, "Well I'm starving partner so if you'll excuse me for a minute…."  
Danny moved into the kitchen and after putting his soup in the microwave to heat up he cleaned the kitchen a bit. He put the others' bowls and spoons into the dishwasher and the soups into the fridge. He then went back into the living room with his soup and bread bowl to find Steve already sleeping.

The soup tasted wonderful and Danny and Lilianna visited until about ten o'clock. They decided to leave Steve sleeping on the couch and Danny would sleep in the chair next to him. Lilianna then went to the spare room for the night with the understanding that Danny would call for her if needed. Danny grabbed a pillow and blanket for himself and after tucking in his sleeping friend he reclined back in the chair. He turned a basketball game on TV, and he too soon drifted off.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny woke to Steve's moans at about midnight. Sitting on the edge of the coffee table he took hold of Steve's hand, squeezing tightly. The SEAL remained asleep but he mumbled softly, "Jack…you hhave ttoo do it…oh God….no, nno please no"  
Danny felt Steve's grip tighten in his and he whispered encouragingly, "It's okay Steve, I'm here partner"

"No Jaack…..oh God I'mm so ssorry" Steve's breathing was becoming more rapid and he was sweating profusely, "I'm so sorry, ooh Jaack….it's mmy fault" His head was thrashing from side to side and Danny stood over him.

He placed his hands on Steve's face, "Steve, Steve…..wake up babe"  
Steve's eyes suddenly jolted open and he gasped, trying to pull air into his lungs.  
Still holding Steve's face, Danny spoke calmly, "Steve, relax babe…..it's Danny, I've got you"  
"Jack…hhe's dead Danno…oh God, wwhat did I ddo?"  
"I know buddy, I'm sorry…..I need you to listen to me now. Breathe slow…come on, relax partner…..nice and slow"  
Danny continued to try to calm him, running his hand through his hair, "Relax Steve, close your eyes now"

It took several minutes for Steve to relax and then Danny asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
"No, no…."  
"It might help Steve"  
"DAMN IT DANNY, I SAID NO! Please….please just leave me alone" Moaning as pains continued to wrack his body, he rolled onto his side, turning his back on his partner.  
Without speaking, Danny squeezed Steve's shoulder and then he moved back to the chair keeping an eye closely on his partner.

Danny knew the edginess was a normal withdrawal symptom and watching Steve's body shake he now knew why Steve had wanted Kono and Chin gone…..it hurt like hell to watch him suffer like this, it hurt like hell.

Neither man slept or talked much the rest of the night. Danny went into the kitchen a little after five in the morning to put on a pot of coffee. As it brewed he stood looking out the patio window. After several minutes he went back into the living room to find the couch empty. His ears perked as he heard noise coming from the nearby den.

He stood in the doorway looking at Steve. He was disheveled and was sitting at his desk flipping through a photo album.  
Danny asked, "Hey are you okay?"  
"I need some time alone Daniel. I need you out of here! I need the Nurse out of here! I need to be alone"  
Danny was scared. Steve was depressed and he knew that the SEAL kept several weapons concealed around the house. He knew about the gun in his nightstand drawer and he knew about the one in his desk drawer…..only inches from his grasp…..

********** MUCH MORE TO COME, hope you're enjoying ! *********  
**


	38. Chapter 38

Danny walked slowly towards the desk, "Steve, I'm not going anywhere….so get over it! You agreed to the Governors terms and that includes the nursing care and me. I am going to be at your side 24-7 babe whether you like it or not"

"I'M FINE DANNY! I want to... I NEED to do this alone!"  
"NO, NO YOU DON'T, and you CAN'T! You are the most stubborn and obstinate man I have ever known, but on this babe…you've met your match. You can curse at me, scream at me, or simply ignore me…but you ARE stuck with me"

He reached the side of the desk and breathed a sigh of relief at not seeing any weapons. He glanced at the album Steve was thumbing through. The pictures were all of Steve and a blonde man, someone Danny had never seen before.  
He asked, "Who's that?"  
Not taking his eyes off the book, Steve said quietly "He's a friend…. A really, really good friend"  
Steve ran his fingers over the pictures and then he closed the album.  
Danny reached down, opened the side desk drawer and pulled out the gun.  
Steve looked up at him, "I wasn't planning on using that buddy"  
"Good, that's good to hear. You won't mind if I keep it for a while then?"  
Steve then offered additional information, "There's one in my nightstand, one in my safe, one in the kitchen and one in the living room. Then you've got the four rifles in my gun case and my numerous knives. Danno, if I want to kill myself I've got plenty of ways to do it"

Danny knew he was right and it sure didn't make him feel any better. "I need you to do me a favor then"  
"What's that?  
"Let me get all the weapons out here until you've got this thing licked"  
"Danny….that's not necessary, you worry too much"  
"Just humor me then, okay"  
Steve was iritated, "If it makes you feel better, fine….I need to go use the head and I promise there's no gun in there Danno, so stand down partner"  
Steve stood and walked past Danny, intentionally bumping into him.  
Danny watched him leave the room and he mumbled under his breath, "It's going to be a long fucking day" His eyes landed on the photo album and he sat down and quickly flipped through the pictures. The two men were definitely good friends and they had known each other a long time. Several pictures were of the two as teenagers with Steve's dad. He pulled out one of the pictures of the boys in football uniforms, smiling broadly with their arms draped around each other's shoulders. The back read 'Steve and Chad, 13 years old… State Champions'. He didn't want Steve to think he was snooping so he put the picture back, closed the album, and went back to the kitchen.

A few moments later both Steve and Lilianna joined him in the kitchen.  
Danny shot her a smile, "Good Morning Lilianna, did you sleep well?"  
"Yes I did Danny, thank you. Steve was just telling me he slept well too, that's good"  
Danny smirked as his partner, "Oh he did, huh? He needs his beauty sleep or he get's real grumpy. Why don't you two sit down, I was just about to whip up some omelets"

"Oh Danny please"  
"What? You love my eggs!"  
Steve looked at the pretty young nurse and rolling his eyes he said quietly, "The Militaries powdered eggs are better than Danno's"  
She chuckled and Danny asked, "What's so funny over there?"  
Steve grinned, "Nothing buddy…nothing at all"  
The blonde detective then asked, "Lilianna, would you like a cup of coffee?"  
"Yes please"  
"Cream or sugar?"  
"Both please"  
Danny brought her the coffee and looked to Steve, "Want a cup partner?"  
"No, I don't think my stomach can handle it"  
"Kono picked up some apple juice, how does that sound?"  
"That sounds good buddy, thank you"

They visited while Danny cooked and even Steve had to admit the omelets tasted really good.  
They were still visiting when Lilianna's replacement showed up. She was much older than Lilianna and her name was Cindy. After Lilianna left, Cindy sat with the men sipping coffee as they got to know each other.

Dr Kam arrived a short time later, glad to see that Steve was at least eating. Once he had left, Steve went onto the patio to call the Governor while Danny showed Cindy around the house.

**505050505050505050505050  
**  
When Danny joined him outside, he found Steve leaning on the deck's railing, staring out at the Ocean.  
Danny moved over and sat on the bench next to him, "How did it go?"  
"Alright…..I'm lucky Danny. He's being very supportive"  
"Yes, yes he is"  
"But I'm luckier to have you. You don't have to stay you know, you don't have to put up with my bullshit"  
"Yes I do…and I will. Like I told you earlier babe, you're stuck with me"  
"Thank you Danno"  
"Don't mention it"  
Several seconds passed before Steve added, "Is it too early to call Gracie?"  
"No, I'm sure she's up and getting ready for school. Let's just talk a bit first okay?"  
Steve looked at him nervously, "Sure, is she okay?"  
"Oh yeah, no worries. I just wanted to tell you that she's really anxious to see you and I'm trying to discourage that right now"

"Of course, I agree. She doesn't need to see me like this. I'm sure I'd scare the hell out her with the way I look right now"  
Danny responded, "You scare the hell out of ME partner!" Steve chuckled and Danny added, "Buddy, I need you to know I told her what happened to you"  
"You told her about the drugs?"  
"Yes….They've been teaching them the DARE program in school and I've answered questions she's had about drug use and the dangers. I felt she could handle it and that it was important that she knew the truth"

Steve felt like he had been kicked in the gut. He turned from Danny and resting his elbows on the railing he cupped his hands behind his bowed head. Danny watched him carefully, noting his body tense up and shake with emotion. He moved closer and reaching out he squeezed the SEAL's shoulder tightly.  
A few seconds passed before Steve said softly, "I'm so embarrassed Danny"  
"Steve, oh God you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You're not responsible for being in this condition, you know that! If you want to be truthful about this babe, the whole damn thing is my fault!"

Steve pushed away from the railing and faced Danny, tears welling up in his eyes "No, this IS NOT your fault, do you hear me?"  
"THAT'S BULLSHIT STEVEN! You're hooked on this fucking junk because of my brother, MY BROTHER!"  
"YES, YOUR BROTHER, NOT YOU! I made the decision to go after Matt on my own, MY DECISION DANIEL!"  
"Damn it Steve…..why? Please tell me why?"  
Steve staggered a couple of steps backwards and sat back onto the bench. He was sobbing and saying over and over again, "I'm sorry Danno….pplease forgive mme…I'm ssorryy….."

Danny sat next to him, their bodies touching. He wanted answers, he needed answers but now was not the time. He had to pull back, Steve was just too fragile right now, he couldn't push him, "Steve, hey calm down" He placed a hand on Steve's leg, "Buddy listen to me, I've forgiven you….I told you that yesterday and I meant it. You've got to relax now…..please relax"

Several minutes passed with no words being spoken. Once Steve's breathing stabilized Danny asked, "Are you ready to call Gracie?"  
Steve spoke softly, "What is she be thinking of me?"  
"Do you want to know what she's thinking? I can tell you…..she's happy, hell, she's absolutely thrilled that her Uncle Steve is okay. She can't wait to see you, and hug you, and kiss you. You give her love and joy. And most important of all, you give her a sense of peace. She feels safe around you and she knows that when I'm with you, I'm safe"

Steve chuckled, "You call me a danger magnet and claim that I'm always getting you shot at?"  
Danny added, "Well yeah but…" He laughed, "You make HER feel safe Steven. She loves you babe. Now how about it, are you ready to talk to her?"  
Steve smiled, "Yeah, I'm ready"

Danny dialed the phone, "Hey Monkey, good morning!"  
"Hi Danno. Are you with Uncle Steve?"  
"I am, and he would like to talk to you"  
Danny handed Steve the phone, "Gracie?"  
A bubbly voice answered back, "Hi Uncle Steve! I'm so happy you aren't dead"  
Steve grinned, "I'm happy I'm not dead too baby"  
Danny laughed softly, shaking his head at his child's choice of words.  
"I was so sad Uncle Steve. I don't think I've ever been so sad, and Danno cried so much"  
Danny saw the tears falling down Steve's cheeks and he reached over grabbing the man's arm in support.  
Gracie continued, "I'm sorry you're so sick. Are you feeling better today?"  
"I do feel a little better sweetheart. Danno is taking very good care of me"  
"That's good. Did Danno tell you about my Spelling B at school?"  
"No he didn't tell me. Did you win a Spelling B?"  
Danny grinned proudly as his daughter told Steve all about her wonderful accomplishments.

Steve listened intently to the little girl and then responded, "When you come to see me make sure you bring your word lists so I can help you study okay?"  
"I will. When can I see you?"  
"It will probably be a few days Gracie but we can talk on the phone anytime okay?"  
"Okay. Thanks for calling me"  
"You have a good day at school. I love you sweetheart"  
"I love you too SuperSEAL, bye"  
Steve's hand was shaking as he handed the phone to Danny.  
"Hey Monkey….."  
As Danny talked to his daughter, Steve stood and making his way down the steps of the patio he walked down to the Ocean.

**To be continued…..**


	39. Chapter 39

Danny finished talking with Gracie and Rachel and then he went down to check on Steve. He found him standing in shin deep water. Removing his shoes and socks he waded out next to Steve. It was obvious that the SEAL had been crying.  
"Thanks for talking to her Steve. She was so happy to hear your voice"  
"How could I have put her through that? How could I have done that to any of you? I'm selfish, so damn selfish…."  
Danny attempted to respond, "Steve, she's fine now…."  
"I love you man but please, don't even try to justify what I did. You know...I really need some time alone D"

"You promise me you won't do anything stupid if I leave you here"  
Steve held up hands, "Buddy I've got nothing on me. Do you want to frisk me?"  
"Knock it off will you, I'm sorry"  
Steve closed his eyes and sighed, "No Danno, I'm sorry…..Thank You for worrying about me. I promise you I won't do anything stupid…..I won't hurt myself, I promise"

"You need your anti-biotic, here take this" Danny handed him a bottle of water and his pill.  
Steve took the water and washed the pill down, "Thanks, I'll be up soon"  
Danny walked away and when he reached the sand he turned back and called out, "When you're ready to talk babe, you know where to find me" He then walked back up to the house. Sitting on the patio he phoned Kono to fill her in.

"Danny….good morning. How is he doing?"  
"It's a roller-coaster Kono. He's up one minute and then the next I'm afraid he'll do something crazy"  
"What, hurt himself?"  
"Yeah…I'm sure it's crossed his mind honey. Damn these drugs!"  
"Danny, can Chin and I come back over?"  
"Not right now…..not yet. Kono...he's embarrassed"  
"Why is he embarrassed?"  
"His mind's not right….he feels weak and sick. He's so vulnerable Kono. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, he doesn't want me here either. Please remember what I said, we need to take it a day at a time….that's all we can do for him"

"Take good care of him Danny and send him our love"  
"You know I will. I'll call you soon"  
"Okay, bye now"  
Hanging up the phone he looked out towards the water seeing that Steve was now sitting in a wooden deck chair, his head tipped back, deep in his thoughts.

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

He sat staring out at the calm, peaceful water. It had been a long time since he had thought of Chad. Well not really…..he actually thought about his old friend a lot. He hadn't thought about his death in a long time though…..another one of his selfish action. How many lives had he destroyed over the years?

Steve tipped his head back and his mind drifted back to much happier days, the care-free days of his youth. He remembered the day he met Chad. His family had moved to Hawaii midway through 5th grade from a tiny town in North Dakota. Steve had heard the giggles of some of the other students as their teacher, Mrs. Cranston had introduced the clearly awkward ten year old boy to the class. He was skinny and small and wore coke-bottle glasses, but Steve instantly saw something special about the kid. When class had let out for recess Mrs. Cranston had held Steve back asking him to take some papers to the office for her before heading outside. When he stepped out onto the playground his eyes were instantly drawn to the circle of boys off to the corner of the brick building.  
He raced towards to group of fifth and sixth grade boys who had surrounded Chad. Even at ten years of age, Steve McGarrett was well respected amongst his peers. He pushed through the group to find the school bully, Bobby Duncan shoving the shocked and clearly scared newcomer to the ground.

Steve hollered, "KNOCK IT OFF BOBBY, LEAVE HIM ALONE!"  
There were gasps of disbelief from some of the boys, while those who knew Steve well, simply smiled.  
Nobody, NOBODY ever talked to Bobby Duncan like that. He was a large child, almost two hundred pounds at the young age of ten. He turned his attention away from Chad and bull rushed Steve. He barreled into Steve's mid-section sending the much smaller boy flying across the pavement. The tar and pebbles tore into Steve's left forearm and elbow and he laid on the ground for several seconds trying to suck the air back into his winded lungs.

He sat up quickly, shaking the cobwebs from his head. He heard the boys screaming for him, calling out to him to help.  
Steve looked up to see Bobby sitting on top of Chad, pummeling the small victim as Chad protectively covered his head and face. In seconds Steve was off the ground and going airborne he threw his body into Bobby knocking him off his prey.

The two boys jumped to their feet and Bobby threw the first punch, connecting hard to Steve's face. Steve was undeterred and as blood flowed freely from his broken nose he threw a mighty right hook, connecting squarely to Bobby's chin, knocking him to the ground. Bobby looked up at him as Steve screamed, "DO YOU NEED MORE BOBBY? YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU HEAR ME!"

At that moment three teachers appeared on the scene and the crowd of gawking children quickly disbanded.

Steve smiled at the memory because that day, THAT moment he had met the boy who would become his best friend, his most trusted confidant and a true brother. He would teach Chad how to play football and the small speedster would catch any pass that he threw to him.

Bobby Duncan would continue to grow and he became an All-State Offensive Lineman protecting Steve from the massive Defensive Tackles who tried game after game to take the star Quarterbacks' head off. Bobby would go on to play in the NFL but he was killed in a tragic car accident at the tender age of twenty five.

His eyes remained closed and tears slid down his cheeks as he remembered the day years later that would change both Steve and Chad forever.  
After his Mom had died and his Dad had sent him State-side to live with his aunt and uncle, Steve had become horribly withdrawn. His Dad and 'Uncle Joe' had come to visit with him and they discussed Steve's desire to attend Military school and to eventually become a SEAL. Steve could remember to this day the excitement that overwhelmed him once everything was in place and he was due to start school ten weeks later.  
His Dad was scheduled to visit him two weeks before he entered the Academy and to Steve's amazement when John McGarrett showed up, he wasn't alone. Chad Reynolds was with him and he shared the news with his buddy that he too, had been accepted into the Academy.  
Since his Mother's death and the separation from his Dad and Mary, Steve had felt isolated….abandoned…..but now Chad was with him and he wasn't alone anymore.

Thinking back, he would have gladly remained alone. He would give anything to change the course of events that were set into motion on that day. In his life he had lost everyone he ever loved, but no more….. not ever again…..

**5050505050505050505050**

Danny asked Cindy to please sit on the deck and watch out over Steve while he went inside and gathered all the weapons in the home, including his own guns. He put all the pistols, knives and ammunition into a duffel bag and then he took the bag and rifles out to Steve's vehicle. He was still going to need to get the gun from the safe but he felt a bit better now.

Once done he strolled down to the water and sat next to Steve.  
"Hey are you awake?"  
"Yeah….just thinking"  
"How are you feeling?"  
"The pains haven't been too bad this morning"  
"Good. Hey Steve I've ummm been meaning to tell you something"  
Steve's eyes remained closed as he responded, "What's that?"  
"Well, um Rachel is getting a divorce"  
Steve's head pulled forward and he sat upright, "What? When did this happen?"  
"When you were in Washington"  
Steve smiled slyly, "That's good right? I mean…. you two?  
Danny smiled broadly, "Yeah, yeah….. it's a really good thing"  
"Danny that's great partner. I'm so happy for you. I imagine Gracie is thrilled?"  
"Actually we haven't told her yet. We've all been a bit pre-occupied with 'other things' this week. If you're okay with it though, would you mind if Chin and Kono sit with you this afternoon so Rachel and I can tell her?"

"Danny I really don't need a babysitter you know?"  
"I'll take that as a you don't mind. Thanks buddy, I'll call them"  
"You are infuriating, you know that"  
Danny chuckled, "Yeah, I know…oh that's not all. Charlie…..the little guy might be mine after all"  
"I KNEW IT! I knew it! God Danny, this is great news!"  
Steve's smile warmed his heart as Danny added, "We don't know for sure. We're going to have a DNA test done"  
"Well I AM sure. He looks just like you partner. I'm so happy for you man"  
Danny was so happy to see Steve happy, truly happy. He sat smiling at the SEAL until Steve said, "WHAT?"  
"Nothing, nothing"  
"What's with the dopey grin?"  
"I'm just happy partner….it's the first time I've seen you smile since we got you back"  
Steve continued to smile, "I'm happy 'cause you're happy Danno"  
"Are you ready to go back up to the house?"  
"Yeah, I think I could use a nap"  
"You know what? So could I, you're wearing me out"

Once back in the house Danny had Steve give him the gun from his safe and then Steve went upstairs to take a shower.  
He then went to lie down in his room and Danny went into the kitchen to visit with Cindy.  
"I haven't had to do much Mr. Williams"  
"You probably won't. He's as stubborn as they come and he's not one to ask for help. I'll let you know if he needs anything. If HE says he needs something...…call for an ambulance!"  
"He can't be that bad?"  
"Tell me what you think after you've covered a few shifts with him"  
"He seems to be a charming young man"  
"Oh, he's charming alright…..he is charming. Would you like more coffee Cindy"  
"Yes please"  
The two visited and Danny gave her additional information on Steve, himself and the 5-0 team as their patient slept soundly upstairs.

**************** Much more to come - I hope you're enjoying ! STEVE'S REASONS ? COMING SOON !****************


	40. Chapter 40

When Kono and Chin arrived a little after two o'clock they found the men and sitting on the deck and Cindy was in the living room reading a book. Steve had been pretty quiet since waking up and Danny was hoping Kono and Chin could maybe turn his spirits while he was gone.

When he left, he stopped at his apartment first, dropping off all the weapons and grabbing a bag of clean clothes and his toiletries. When he was driving to Rachel's he dialed Joe.  
"Hey Danny. How's our boy doing?"  
"He's holding up. It's going to be a tough road Joe"  
"Well, he's as tough as they come. He'll beat this thing Danny, but he'll need you"  
"I'll be here. He's trying to get rid of me but he's going to find out that I can be more stubborn than he is"  
"I think he already knows that son"  
Danny chuckled, "Hey Joe, have you had any luck finding Doris?"  
"No. Doris is good at hiding. If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be. Is Steve asking about her?"  
"No, but I'm sure he's thinking about her"  
"I'll let you know when I reach her. Do you want me to fly in to help out?"  
"Not now….I think the less people around him the better. I'll let you know though"  
Joe's voice shook slightly as he added, "Please tell him I love him and that I expect him to carry on"  
Danny grinned, "I'll tell him Joe, bye now"

The Mother of Gracie's friend Lucy was due to drop her off at about three thirty and Danny arrived about half an hour early.  
They sat on the couch chatting about Steve while playing with Charlie. The conversation turned serious when Rachel started questioning Danny about confronting Steve.  
"Danny…"  
"Rach, I can't do this anymore. I'm so angry with him honey. I know he has control issues and I can deal that, but when he goes off on his own like this…It tears me apart Rach. It tears US apart, we're supposed to be a team and when he does these things it's like he doesn't trust me…I can't do it….I love the guy, I really do….but I just can't see me staying with 5-0"

"You're certain about this Danny?"  
"Yes. Once he's recovered and back to work….I'm out, and I want to leave Hawaii"  
"Danny please, listen to me. Talk to him first, you promised me you would do that….you owe him that"  
"Shit Rachel….I owe him so much"  
"Then talk to him" She leaned over and kissed his lips gently.

They had been so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn't heard Gracie enter the house. She stood, leaning against the wall. Mommy always told her she shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations and she hadn't meant to hear this. But she did hear it, every word of it. Danno was mad at Uncle Steve, so mad that he was going to leave 5-0? She wanted to ask Daddy what Uncle Steve did but then Mommy would know that she listened to them and she would get into trouble. Mommy did make him promise that he would talk to Uncle Steve, she heard that. Maybe she could talk to Uncle Steve? If he told Danno he was sorry then everything would be okay…right? Then maybe Daddy wouldn't be so mad. She decided she would call Uncle Steve later…..he would know what to do. SuperSEAL could fix anything!

**50505050505050505050505050**

She dropped her backpack on the floor and called out, "Mommy…Danno!"  
Danny stood calling out, "We're in here Monkey!"  
She came around the corner and in moments she was in her daddy's arms. After exchanging kisses, Danny set her onto the couch with Rachel and Charlie. As the little girl kissed her baby brother Danny knelt in front of her.  
"Did you have a good day sweetheart?"  
"Yes Daddy. Is Uncle Steve feeling better?"  
"He is…..he had a very good day"  
"He sounded good when I talked to him. Can I see him now?"  
Rachel jumped in, "Gracie, no. Daddy told you it would be a few days. Steve needs his rest"  
Danny smiled, "You have to be patient Monkey. Remember you can call him anytime though"  
"Anytime Danno?"  
"Yes. I promise you, he'll answer your call anytime"

Rachel smiled at her daughter, "Gracie, I have something very important to talk to you about"  
"What Mommy, is something wrong?"  
"Gracie…Stan and I have decided to get a divorce"  
She shook her head and said matter-of-factly, "Oh….is Danno moving back in with us?"  
Danny smiled at the innocent question, "Your Mommy and I would like to start seeing each other again. Are you okay with that?"  
The child was giddy with excitement as she smiled from ear to ear saying, "YES, YES, YES, YES!"  
Danny looked at Rachel stating, "Honey, I think she's okay with this"  
Rachel chuckled, "It sounds like it, doesn't it?"  
"Are you going to get married again? Can I be in the wedding?"  
Rachel looked at the man she loved and then back at the little girl who meant the world to both of them, "You need to slow down honey. Your Daddy and I are going to see other…"  
Gracie interrupted her, "You mean like go on dates?"  
"Yes, that's exactly what I mean. I can promise you that you'll see a whole lot more of your Daddy"  
"Every day?"  
Rachel answered, "Well, a lot..."  
Danny looked at his daughter and whispered, "EVERY day baby!"  
Rachel smiled as Gracie clapped her hands in delight and threw her arms around his neck as Charlie squealed in delight on the couch.

Danny stayed and played with the kids outside while Rachel started dinner. They had to eat early because Gracie had an Aloha Girls meeting later that evening. They had been outside about half an hour when Danny noticed a change in Gracie's demeanor.  
As Charlie played with a toy truck at his feet, Danny sat next to his daughter on the rim of the sandbox.  
"Why are you so quiet Monkey? What are you thinking about?"  
She couldn't hold back the tears, "Oh Danno please don't…."  
He pulled her onto his lap, "Hey, settle down and talk to me. Don't what?"  
"Don't leave Hawaii Danno. Please don't leave Uncle Steve"  
He closed his eyes, "You heard me talking to Mommy?"  
"Yes…..I didn't mean to listen, I promise"  
"It's okay Monkey. I need you to listen to me now though. Uncle Steve is an amazing man, you know that right?"  
"Uh….huh…"  
"You're too young to understand baby, but sometimes adults get upset with each other"  
"But Danno, you love him don't you?"  
"Yes, yes I love him very much"  
"If he says he's sorry, will everything be okay"  
"It's not that simple sweetheart….I have to think about you and Charlie and Mommy"  
"But I love Uncle Steve so much Daddy, and you said that we should tell the people we love how we feel about them every day"  
Danny pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head, "I know you love him and I don't WANT to leave Monkey"  
"Then don't Danno! PLEASE DON'T…"  
"Baby, you need to trust me. I will do what I think is right for us, for our family"  
"Danno, Uncle Steve IS our family"  
He smiled as he thought, _'out of the mouths of babes', _"You're right Gracie, he is family and I promise you that I'll talk to him"  
"Okay Danno"

Charlie was crawling in the dirt pushing his truck, "vvvrroooommmm…vvvvrroooooooommm"  
Gracie giggled, "Charlie, you're so silly"  
Danny responded, "SILLY! Charlie….she's calling you silly?"  
The tot ignored them, totally engrossed in his toy, "vvvrroommmmm"  
Rachel called to them, "Dinner's ready!"  
Danny kissed Gracie, "Are you okay kiddo?"  
"Yeah"  
"Good. Let's go have dinner" She jumped from his lap and Danny leaned down picking up Charlie. "You got so dirty little man"

**50505050505050505050505050**

As they entered the house Rachel sent Gracie to the bathroom to wash up and moved to take Charlie.  
Danny grinned, "I've got him honey" He then took Charlie upstairs to change him and clean him up. Rachel watched as Danny walked up the stairs talking to the chattering toddler the whole way. He was back in her life and she couldn't be happier about it. She hoped that he could resolve his issues with Steve though. She knew how much Danny loved that man. And Gracie...she would be devastated without her SuperSEAL. Unfortunately, they had witnessed just how devastated they all would be if Steve were to be taken from their lives. She prayed that Danny would not make a decision that he would live to regret.

Moments later Gracie was at the table eating spaghetti and chatting with her Mother about her day in school.  
Several minutes later Danny's cell phone, which was on the counter rang. Seeing it was Kono calling, Rachel answered it.  
"Hello Kono. Is everything okay?"  
"Uh….no. Is Danny there?"  
"He's upstairs with Charlie, hang on" She looked at Gracie, "You keep eating sweetie. I'll be right back"

She raced up the stairs and found Danny pulling the now clean little boy from the bathtub.  
"He's ready to eat spaghetti now….then he'll need another bath!"  
She held up the phone, "It's Kono"  
Taking the baby from his arms, she handed him the phone "Kono, is he alright?"  
"No. Danny, he's angry…and in a lot of pain. He shoved Chin into the cabinet in the living room"  
"Is Chin hurt?"  
"He's got a bump on his head but he'll be okay. He too weak to control him Danny"  
"I'm on my way Kono"  
As he hung up the phone Rachel said, "Go to him"  
He moved to her and after kissing Charlie he kissed her lips tenderly, "I'll tell Gracie you'll be right down"  
"Call me later"  
"I will…..bye" He kissed her again and then hurried downstairs.

"Daddy, what's wrong?"  
He moved to her side and knelt down, "Gracie, everything is going to be okay but Steve isn't feeling real well right now so I have to leave"  
"Will you tell him that I love him?"  
"Of course I will. I'll call you in the morning. You have fun tonight okay?"  
"I love you Danno"  
"I love you too Monkey. Mommy and Charlie will be right down" He kissed her and then left the house, racing towards the McGarrett home.

********** THANKS FOR READING, MUCH MORE TO FOLLOW ! ***********


	41. Chapter 41

******* THANKS FOR READING and all your comments are greatly appreciated. I have received some messages from readers a bit unhappy with how I am portraying Danny. Please remember that everything is happening in just a few days and emotions are high. I think (and certainly hope) that once the story is complete you will understand why I'm going this way with it – Again thank you for reading and reviewing ! *******

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

Danny's mind was racing as he sped towards Steve's. He should never, NEVER have left Chin alone with McGarrett, not in his weakened state. DAMN IT STEVEN!

He pulled into the driveway and ran into the house. Chin was sitting on the couch with Cindy, holding an icepack to the back of his head. Danny sat on the coffee table in front of him, "You okay brother?"  
"Yeah, I'm sorry Danny"  
Danny put his hand on Chin's knee, "Stop, you have nothing to be sorry about. I should never have left you alone with him, I'M sorry babe" Danny turned to Cindy, "How is he….really?"  
She smiled, "He's got a pretty good bump and a headache, but he'll be okay"  
Danny let out a sigh of relief, "Thank God" He then looked around, "It's awfully quiet, where is he?"  
"He's locked himself in his bedroom. Kono's trying to talk him down….Danny, this isn't his fault"  
"What do you mean, what happened? What set him off?"

"Shortly after you left his pain increased. He laid down on the couch to sleep. About an hour later he bolted up off the couch. I was coming in from the kitchen and it all happened so fast. He grabbed me and threw me up against the cabinet and….he had his hands around my throat. He wasn't with us Danny….his eyes….his eyes were black and cold. He kept saying _'Tell me where Jack is…..you son-of-a-bitch, tell me where Jack is!' _Danny, he was having a nightmare, it wasn't his fault. Kono was able to pull him back to reality and I'm okay. He let me go and he raced upstairs. We're worried about him. Does he have any weapons in his room?"

"No, no he doesn't. I cleared all the guns, ammo and knives out of here. I took everything to my place"  
"You're sure you got everything?"  
"As sure as I can be. You stay here, I'm going to go talk to him"  
"It's not his fault brah"  
"I know…you relax, I'll take care of him"  
Danny stood and moved up the stairs. Kono was on her knees in front of the closed bedroom door at the end of the hallway. Her palms were pushed against the door and she was talking to him calmly. There was a hole in the door where the SEAL had obviously planted his fist. He knelt next to Kono and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

He said quietly, "Has he been responding to you?"  
"I little bit"  
Danny pointed to the hole, "When did he do that?"  
"Right after he slammed the door shut"  
"So, before he knew you were out here?"  
"Yes, oh yes. Danny….does he hav….."  
He interrupted her, "No Kono, he doesn't have any weapons. I cleared the house" He saw her sense of relief and watched as the tension left her body, "He'll be okay Kono"

He stood and knocked on the door, "Steve….babe I need you to open the door for me"  
There was no answer.  
He knocked again, "Steven, tell me you're alright man or I'm breaking down this door"  
Again, no answer…  
He turned to Kono, "Stand back" With no further thought he kicked in the door and the two detectives raced into the room.  
**  
50505050505050505050505050**

They raced into the room and the sight before them stopped them dead in their tracks. Steve was lying on the bed, naked and shivering uncontrollably. Danny heard Kono gasp next to him as she saw, for the first time the severe bruising that covered his body. Danny put his arm around her and turning her he guided her out the open door. "I've got him Kono. Go take care of Chin" She nodded and left Danny to tend to his distraught partner. Taking a deep breath he moved to the bed and sat next to Steve who was curled into a fetal position. He was sweating profusely and his breaths came in short, pained gasps. Danny ran a hand through his drenched and matted hair as he spoke to him gently, "Steve, I need you to talk to me…are you okay?"

The SEALS voice shook in pain as he spoke, "I can't ddo this Danny….God, I hhurt so bbad"  
"You have to fight babe. Do you know what happened downstairs?"  
"I had a nnightmmare….I was looking for Jack…..that's all I remmem….ber. Whhy, wwhat happened?"

Danny had to keep in calm. It was obvious that he didn't remember what he had done to Chin and all it would do would upset him more if he knew, "Nothing. Like you said, you had a nightmare and then you did put you fist through your door here. Let me take a look at it" Danny took the injured right hand in his. He gingerly moved the swollen knuckles one at a time before stating, "I don't think you broke anything but you're pretty swollen"

Steve pulled his hand back and cradled it against his chest. "Danny…I need to bbe alone please"  
"Okay babe. Let me get you under the covers. Do you want to put some clothes on?"  
"No…..I'm so hhot"  
"Alright" Danny helped him slip under the covers as he moaned in pain.  
"Danno, could yyou gget me some wwater please"  
"You bet, I'll be right back"

Danny made his way downstairs and Kono inquired, "Is he okay Danny"  
"He's hurting. Hey Chin…...he doesn't remember grabbing you"  
"It's okay brah, he doesn't need to know. I'm fine"  
"I'm going to get him some water and…."He glanced at the clock on the wall, "It's time for his anti-biotic"  
Kono asked, "How's his hand?"  
"It's bruised and swollen but I'm pretty sure nothing's broken. I'll put an icepack on it. He wants some time alone"  
"Danny, someone needs to be with him"  
"Not right now Kono. He needs space…I'll be right here. You guys can head home and get some rest"  
"Danny…."  
"Kono, please…..remember, a day at a time"  
Chin took her hand, "He'll call if he needs us Kono. If Steve needs space, we need to respect that"  
She shook her head, "I know but I feel so helpless…."  
Danny nodded in agreement, "We all do babe"  
Danny walked them to the door and then after getting the needed items from the kitchen, he and Cindy made their way upstairs.

He picked the broken door up off the floor and leaned it up against the wall. Then sitting on the edge of the bed he dabbed at Steve's forehead with a cool, wet cloth.  
Steve's eyes opened at the touch, "What'd you dddo to mmy ddoor partner?"  
"Umm…..you didn't answer me. I was worried"  
"You wworry too much"  
"You've told me that before. It's time for your anti-biotic….."  
Steve interrupted him, "No ddrugs Danny…nnightmares…..NO DRUGS"  
Danny grabbed his shoulders, "HEY STOP SUPERMAN! This is just the anti-biotic for your infection, that's all…I promise"  
Danny placed the pill in his mouth and helped him take a drink of water.

"That's good, I'll put the water on the table here in case you need it"  
"Yeah, 'k…thanks….I'm tired"  
"Cindy's going to check you out and then you can sleep"  
"I'm fine"  
"Don't argue with me"  
"I'm ffine DDanno"  
"There's no problem then babe. Cindy will be done in a minute and then I'll leave you alone"  
"Promise?"  
Danny turned to Cindy, "He's all yours"  
After checking his vitals and examining him she wrapped the icepack on his injured hand and then left the room.  
As Danny was leaving he added, "Holler out if you need me, I'll be down on the couch"  
"Danno…..thank you"  
"You're welcome, get some rest now"

Once Danny left, Steve turned onto his side and opening the nightstand drawer he took out a letter and read it as tears streaked down his cheeks.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve had fallen asleep at about nine o'clock, waking to his cell phone ringing on the nightstand a little after midnight.  
Moaning in pain he reached over to pick up the phone and seeing it was Gracie he answered, "Gracie? Sweetheart, it's so late. Are you okay?"  
"I'm sorry Uncle Steve, I didn't mean to wake you up. Danno said I could call you anytime and I couldn't sleep"  
"Danno's right, you CAN call me anytime. Why can't you sleep?"  
"I'm worried…."  
"About me?"  
"Well no….but….."  
He heard the little girls quiet sobs on the other end of the phone "Gracie, you can tell me anything, you know that. Just say it baby?"

"I don't want to move to New Jersey and leave you Uncle Steve, I love you"  
The words cut through Steve like a knife. What was she talking about? "Gracie, why do you think you're moving back to New Jersey?"  
"Danno is so mad at you and I heard him talking to Mommy. He said he had to leave 5-0 because you don't trust him. He said he wants to leave Hawaii. Please Uncle Steve, please...tell him you're sorry"

He was shocked at what he was hearing. Danny had said he forgave him and now this? "Gracie, baby I promise you I'll talk to Danno and I will apologize. I will do everything I can to get him to change his mind, but I need you to listen to me Gracie. Your Daddy loves you more than anything and any decision he makes, he makes because he thinks it's the best for you. Whatever Danno decides, it will be the right thing for you…..okay"

"Okay"  
"Now I need you to try to go to sleep. And remember, I love you…always"  
"I love you too….….good night"  
"Good night honey, sleep tight"  
Steve was shaking as he hung up the phone. This couldn't be happening…everybody left him…but not Danno.

As he put the phone on the nightstand he again picked up the letter. Turning on the lamp, he read it over and over again. Suddenly an overwhelming sense of dread struck him. He was shaking and dizzy. He needed fresh air, he had to clear his head. Laying the letter on the bed, he got up and threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

He quietly made his way downstairs. Danny was sleeping on the couch in front of the TV. He chuckled softly as he noted the infomercial playing. Danny had to have the TV on to sleep, even if it was this mindless drivel. Slipping his sneakers on, he moved into the kitchen. He needed a drink badly. He pulled an open bottle of whiskey from the cupboard. There was only a swallow left in the bottle, so he opened it and quickly downed it. He set the empty bottle on the counter and his eyes were drawn to the three pill bottles. Opening up the bottles of codeine and the meth tablets he dumped them down the drain.

Steve then moved to the patio door and stepped out into the dark Hawaiian night.

*********** Lots of answers coming in the next chapter, hope you're enjoying! *********  
**


	42. Chapter 42

********** A short chapter, but a good place to stop… More to come soon, I hope you enjoy! ***********

Danny woke to the sound of the patio door shutting. Sitting up on the couch he listened intently trying to determine what he heard. Not hearing anything else he walked up the stairs to check in on Steve. He saw a light coming from the room and he made his way down the hallway. The new Nurse on duty, Lisa was sleeping in the spare bedroom and he pulled the door closed as he passed hoping not to wake her. He walked into Steve's room noting the empty bed immediately. He spotted the letter and moving to the bed, he picked it up and read it.

_My dearest Steve,_

_The last four years of my life have been filled with love, joy and excitement…..all because of you. I never thought that anything could ever diminish that joy, but here we are. I'm just not strong enough Steve. Every time I look into your beautiful eyes or hear your voice I think of Christina. I have tried to move forward baby, but I just cannot do it with you still in my life. I hope someday that you can understand why. I do not blame you for this, no one does. This is a tragedy that we will never have answers for. I need you to know that this is the hardest decision I have ever made in my life and that I will always love you dearly…. Please forgive me._

_Forever,  
Emily  
_  
There was a picture as well of Steve with his arms wrapped around a beautiful blonde with blue eyes.  
Emily? Steve had never mentioned her to him. He quietly said to himself, "Shit, one more thing for him to dwell on"  
Danny turned and left the room, placing the letter and picture on the dresser as he walked past it. He checked the bathroom and the upstairs office before heading back down the stairs. Moving into the kitchen he turned on the light and as his eyes scanned the countertop, his heart sank, "Oh God no….no, no, no!"

He moved to the sink and looked at the empty whiskey and pill bottles, "Oh God Steve…no" Moving quickly, he checked the lower level of the house and not finding him he grabbed a flashlight and walked out into the darkness.

**505050505050505050505050**

Steve walked and walked on the sandy beach. There was a place he used to go to when he was a kid, a quiet place where he could think. A short time later, he reached the cliff and he began walking up the steep, narrow path.

Not finding Steve at the Ocean's edge he followed his partners footprints in the sand down the beach, continually calling out for him. He was terrified, all those pills and the whiskey gone….along with the meth still in his system….."Oh God, please…...please let me find him in time"

A short time later he spotted Steve up on top of a cliff a short distance ahead. He moved swiftly up the path and soon he was standing about fifty feet from his partner. He moved gingerly along the rocks towards Steve not wanting to startle him. He was sitting cross-legged only inches from the edge of the cliff. When Danny was about ten feet away he spoke loudly enough to be heard above the sound of the waves crashing onto the jagged rocks below them. Damn he hated the Ocean.

"Steve….Steve…."  
Steve continued to stare straight ahead, his hair blowing in the wind.  
"Steve, partner…let me help you…God, please let me help you"  
"Danny…you can't help me….no one can help me"  
Danny slowly walked closer, "Babe talk to me…let me try. God I want to help you"  
"It's over. Everyone I love dies or leaves Danno. I can't do it anymore" Steve continued to stare straight ahead but as Danny drew closer he could see the tears streaking down the SEAL's face.

Danny was shaking with fear as he asked, "Steve, I need you to tell me….how many pills did you take babe?"  
"None...I dumped them down the drain"  
Danny sighed deeply, "Good…..that's good buddy. You scared me man. How about the whiskey?"  
"I just took a couple swallows"  
The detective nodded and decided not to hold back. He had to get the SEAL to open up, "Fine, hey Steve...who's Emily?"  
"Danno…..pplease nno" His voice cracked with emotion as he choked out the words, "I cc….ccan't"  
Danny could see the SEAL's body shaking as the cool Pacific breeze hit his sweat drenched skin, "Steve, you have to talk about it. It's eating you alive partner" He then repeated, "Please buddy, let me help you"

Steve then turned the conversation, catching the Jersey detective off guard by stating, "Gracie told me Danny….it's okay"  
Danny felt his stomach sink. He was now about six feet away from his distraught friend, "Babe you misunderstood. She's nine years old Steven"  
"I didn't misunderstand, and you're right, you need to take your family and go back to New Jersey. You need to be far away from me, it's the right thing to do. You're in danger around me….Danno, you have to protect her from me"

"Steve, stop…..Gracie overheard me talking to Rachel last night and she's upset. She told me she had heard us talking and that she doesn't want to leave Hawaii…..that she doesn't want to leave you. God Steven, I'm so sorry" Danny felt sick to his stomach. He should have known Gracie would call him to try to 'fix' things. She always told Steve everything…..God he felt so stupid. He took a deep breath and continued, "Buddy, you're my brother, my best friend and I love you…..but you made me so damn angry. Have I thought about leaving 5-0, and moving back to Jersey…..yes, but do you really think I would make a decision like that without talking to you about it? No, no I wouldn't…Gracie heard talk but that's all it was. I told you that when you beat this shit we would need to have a good long talk, and I meant it. I need to understand why Steve. Why would you once again go off alone putting yourself at such great risk but then even worse than that, you make us think you were dead?"

Several seconds passed before Steve turned and faced him, saying "It's cold up here. Let's go back to the beach and I'll tell you everything"  
Danny reached out a hand and Steve accepted it. Once he was on his feet the two men slowly made their way back down the narrow path. They did not speak as they walked and soon they were back at the McGarrett beachfront, sitting in the deck chairs.  
Danny waited patiently and after a few minutes of silence, Steve began…

"Chad Reynolds was my best friend, he was married to Christina, and she was the sister of Emily Tate….my fiance'"….


	43. Chapter 43

Fiance'? Danny stared at his partner, the man he had spent the majority of the last three plus years of his life with. How could he have not known of Emily or Chad?  
Steve continued, "I met Chad when we were ten years old. He was nerdy and gawky and he was the nicest kid I'd ever met in my life" Danny saw the grin on Steve's face as he continued, "I taught him how to play football and by the time he were in high school both of us made the All State team. After Mom died and I was sent to the mainland, Chad convinced his family to send him to the same Military Academy I went to. We went through everything together Danny…..Military School, Annapolis, SEAL Training….once we were in Military Intelligence we were based in different parts of the world for a couple of years. During that time he met Christina Tate while he was home on leave. They fell for each other fast and six months later they got married. I was his Best Man and her sister Emily was her Maid of Honor. I had never met either of the girls until then but during my three week leave, Emily and I grew very close. Emi and I corresponded constantly over the next year and then Chad and I were assigned to serve on the same SEAL Team, Team Four under Commander Joe White. We were based out of San Diego and Emily moved out West to join us. Chad and I would be away on missions for weeks at a time so we rented a house together so the girls would have each other when we were gone. God Danny, those were good times and I was so unbelievably happy. The love of those three Danno…..they saved me. The loss of Mom, the abandonment I felt being separated from Dad and Mary…I was loved again, and I was needed. Chad and Christina had been married for almost four years when she became pregnant and I finally proposed to Emily"

Danny interjected, "What took you so long"  
"I don't know. I knew early on that she was the one, but things were so damn good…I guess I was afraid that something would happen….and it did" Steve's voice began to shake with emotion as he continued, "We were on a mission in Germany. We were sent to find and take out a team of three hit men that were sent to assassinate a high ranking Government Official. We tracked the hitters to the Harz Mountain region. There were numerous silver mines in the area and we got caught in an ambush. Before we could take them out two of our men were hit. Kenny Ellers was hit in the hip and leg. He survived, but the injury forced him to retire from the SEAL's. I wasn't able to save Chad…...he took two rounds to his side, under the armpit. A couple of the guys ran to get our truck but he bled to death in my arms in moments" Steve paused, taking in a deep breath…."As I held him in my lap, Joe did everything he could to stop the bleeding but one of rounds had pierced his lung. He knew he was dying... He struggled to talk, making me promise I would take care of Christina and the baby. I loved him so much Danny…he was my brother and a part of me died with him"

Danny reached over and grabbed Steve's arm, squeezing it reassuringly, "I'm sorry Steve"  
The SEAL's next words can haltingly, "He died and then I betrayed him"  
They sat quietly staring out at the pitch blackness in front of them. The sound of the waves crashing to the shore soothed Steve and a few minutes later he was ready to continue.

"Telling Christina that Chad had been killed was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. She was destroyed Danny. She had found out the day before he died that they were having a little girl and she never got to tell Chad. He wanted a daughter, a little angel. I took a three month leave and we were planning on moving them back east to live with their parents. Our house in San Diego was on the Oceanfront. Five weeks after Chad's death, their parents had flown home. That night I grilled burgers and after dinner Christina excused herself to go take a bath. Emily and I cleaned up and washed the dishes. We were going to pop in a movie and Emi went upstairs to check on Christina…." Danny's eyes were trained on Steve. The SEAL's eyes were closed and tears streaked his cheeks as he continued, "I'll never forget her screams Danno. I found Emily kneeling next to the bathtub. The water was blood red. She had slit both of her wrists. Emi was screaming for me to help her, but it was too late. I'd seen enough dead bodies to know it was too late. She was ghostly pale and her eyes were open and cloudy. I told Emi to call for an ambulance and I lifted Christina out of the tub and carried her to the bed. I pulled the quilt around her and when Emily came into the room…..she laid on the bed and put her head on her sister's shoulder….God Danny…..I promised Chad I would protect her….." Steve could no longer go on.

His sobs were torturous and Danny also cried for his friend. "Steve, I'm so sorry. You know what happened wasn't your fault"  
"Of course it was my fault…..Chad followed me. He went to the Academy because of me, he became a SEAL because of me….and he's dead because of me. And then Christina and the baby….they're all dead because of me"

"Babe that's just not true. Chad made his own decisions in life. Emily said in the letter that no one blamed you. You can't do this to yourself partner"  
"Then there's Jack….and what about here, in Hawaii Danno? What about Jenna and Laura Hills?"  
"What about them Steve? Jenna was responsible for her own death. Hell, Jenna was responsible for you being tortured and almost killed by Wo-Fat"  
"But I should have seen it coming"  
"You are amazing Superman, but mind-reading is not one of your gifts. There is NO WAY you could have seen Jenna's deception, none of us suspected a thing"  
"Laura died trying to warn me about Governor Jameson"  
"Yes, yes she did. Steve… that was HER choice. You cannot hold yourself responsible for everybody else's actions in life! Before you mention Jack again, I'm going to repeat what I've said before. HE joined the SEAL's and HE knew the risks and the bottom line is, those bastards would have killed him. You gave him a chance to survive. This was NOT your fault buddy"

Steve stood up and moved closer to the water. Danny waited, giving the man time to compose himself before walking to stand next to him.

**505050505050505050505050  
**  
Steve spoke softly, "Danny…..I can't let it happen again. I won't let it happen again"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"After Chad and Christina died and Emily left me I swore to myself I would never care for anyone like that again…..and then you came along. You're much more than a partner to me Danny, I love you like a brother, and Gracie…it's like she's my own. You are as special to me as Chad was. I would die to keep you two safe but Danny, I'm not willing to put you in danger. No more Danno…..no more. You wanted to know why? Why I took off without telling you? Why I made you think I was dead? I've dealt with a lot of shit in my life partner. I remember you saying once that I didn't have a 'fear gene' and that's pretty much true, but one thing scares me to death. I don't think I could ever survive having to tell Gracie that something happened to you"

The lump in Danny's throat was huge, "I'm so sorry..."  
"You have nothing to be sorry for"  
"I…I thought you didn't trust me?"  
"Danno, I trust you with my life. There's no one I trust more than you"  
Danny responded, "I feel the same about you, but I can't quit being a cop Steve. I know the risks and I accept them, just like you do. So what do you suggest we do? If you're going to try to keep me out of every dangerous situation that arises then we've got a problem. I'm good at what I do, you're good at what you do, but together we are great. I want nothing more than to stay with 5-0 and be your partner" Danny paused before adding, "Rachel quoted a poem to me the other day"

Steve interrupted him, "A 'poem' Daniel? Really?"  
"Yes, yes a poem. Since we're both revealing our sensitive sides here, I'm going all out okay?"  
Steve grinned, "Lay it on me babe"  
Danny continued, "_Today is life…..it is the only thing we can be sure of…make the most of it_. Steve, you're right in saying that you've dealt with a lot of shit in your life but at least I finally understand your relationship with Catherine"

"What do you mean?"  
"You not calling her your girlfriend…saying you two just have 'a thing'….. Steve, you can't be afraid to love buddy. Love is what makes everything we do worthwhile"  
"I think it's probably time for me to give her a call"  
"Good, I agree with you...…that's good. I need you to listen to me now. About Gracie...if God forbid something were to happen to me, I would want you to be the one to tell her and to comfort her. I would want you to guide her through life, to be her surrogate Father. No one in this world, other than me and her Mother of course, is more special to her than you are Steven. I am so grateful that she has you...it brings me peace and comfort"

They stood quietly for a couple of minutes before Steve said softly, "I don't want you to leave Danno, I need you. I'll try to change…I promise"  
Danny turned to him smiling, "That's all I can ask for partner" He held out his arms and moving forward the two men embraced.

Danny felt Steve's body shake in his grasp and he asked, "Hey, are you alright?"  
Steve's grip on Danny tightened as he responded, "I'm great partner….I'm great"  
Danny kept a firm grasp on him until he felt Steve's body relax, "Let's get you inside now okay?"  
Steve answered, "Yeah…..I'm pretty tired"  
"Me too buddy"  
"Danno…..thank you"  
"That's what family's for brother"

********* More to follow, please let me know what you think! I hope you're enjoying! ********  
**


	44. Chapter 44

********** I wanted to post two chapters tonight but I have to get at least one out there in celebration of the "OFFICIAL" renewal of our beloved 5-0 for Season 4 - to all the cast, crew, writers, producers and directors, CONGRATULATIONS and THANK YOU for giving us this GREAT SHOW week after week! **********

**505050505050505050505050**

Steve sat on the edge of his bed and dialed Cath. His heart was racing wildly as he heard her sweet, loving voice.  
"Steve? It's the middle of the night, are you okay?"  
"Things are better now. Catherine…I love you"  
"I love you too baby"  
Steve's voice choked with emotion, "Catherine, I'm sorry"  
"Steve, you're scaring me….what's wrong?"  
"I've been so unfair to you Cath, please forgive me"  
"I love you honey, please talk to me"  
She heard Steve gasp in pain and he spoke softly, "I nneed to call yyou back"  
Her voice was panicked, "STEVE, what is it! Please, tell me what's wrong"  
"I….I ccan't talk nnow….I llove you"  
Steve hung up the phone and buckling over in pain, he fell to the floor.

Danny was in the kitchen getting water when he heard the thud from upstairs. As he closed the refrigerator his phone rang. Pulling it from his pocket, he saw the name Catherine Rollins light up.  
"Catherine…can I call you right back?"  
Her voice was frantic, "DANNY please tell me what's wrong. What's happened to Steve!"  
"Did he call you?"  
"Yes. He's in pain Danny…..he hung up on me"  
"Calm down Cath, he's going to be okay…..I promise you…he's going to be okay. Let me go check on him and I'll call you right back"  
"Okay….thank you"

He found Steve lying in agony on the floor, his breathing fast and pained. He went into the bathroom and grabbed a wet cloth and then kneeling at Steve's side he placed a hand on his shoulder, "Steve…I'm here babe, relax"  
"Oh ffuuck Danny…..wwhen is this ggoing tto stop?"  
"I don't know Steve. Let me get you into bed"  
Steve cried out in pain as Danny helped him up onto the bed. As Danny pulled the covers up, Steve pushed at his hands, "Nnnoo, I'm so hhot Danno"  
"Okay, no problem" Steve clawed at his shirt and Danny asked, "Do you want it off?"  
"Yes…." Danny helped him slip his t-shirt off and then he settled him back onto his pillow.

Danny stroked his partner's cheek tenderly, "Steve, I need you to take a drink of water"  
"Nnno…..I nneed to call Cath bback"  
"I'll call Catherine and tell her everything. You need to drink though, then you can sleep" He lifted Steve's head and brought the water to his lips. "Take sips babe"  
Steve was mumbling as Danny gently placed his head back onto the soft pillow, "Cath…I nneed to…..ccall Caath…."  
"SShhhhhh…..relax, I've got you" Danny took the wet cloth and wiped Steve face, neck and chest, "That's it relax"  
"'M so ttired Danno….."  
"Close your eyes and sleep, I'm right here"  
"Tiirr…rred"  
"Sssshhhhhh relax Steve" He watched as Steve's eyes shut, and he ran his fingers gently across his bruised cheeks. Once Danny was certain he was sleeping he pulled the covers up over him and then pulling a chair up to the bedside he took his cellphone from his pocket and dialed Catherine.

"Danny"  
Danny spoke quietly, "Yeah, I'm with him…he's sleeping. What did he tell you?"  
"Nothing. That he loves me…that he's been unfair to me. He's asking me to forgive him…..forgive him for what Danny?"  
"Okay sweetheart, calm down and I'll tell you everything"  
He told her everything. Of Steve going to Washington State alone to save Matty, of him faking his death and of the horrible beatings and drugs he was subjected to. He told of finding Steve at Hanauma Bay and he told her of the pain he had endured and that he still faced.

"Oh my God Danny. I'll check into getting an emergency leave and I'll get home as quickly as possible"  
"I know he'll like that"  
"Danny, what is asking forgiveness for?"  
Danny paused briefly before asking, "Has he ever mentioned Emily or Chad to you?"  
"No, who are they?"  
He told her everything Steve had shared with him, ending with "He's been tormented by their deaths and his break-up with Emily. He feels he's been unfair to you because he loves you very much Catherine"

"And I love him, with all my heart Danny"  
"I'm so happy to hear you say that. He needs you Cath"  
"I'll let you know as soon as my leave is arranged. Please take care of him"  
"I will….good night"

After hanging up, he shut off the bedside lamp and leaning back in the chair, he too fell asleep.

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

Danny woke to the sunlight coming through the open bedroom window. Looking at his phone he was pleasantly surprised to see it was almost eleven o'clock. He was covered with a blanket but he didn't remember grabbing one last night. He figured the Nurse must have been in the room this morning to check on her patient and covered him at that time. Steve was sleeping soundly and placing a hand on his forehead he was glad to find him cool. After a quick bathroom stop he headed downstairs, finding Lilianna sitting on the couch reading and sipping on coffee.

"Good morning Danny. Is our patient still sleeping?"  
"Yes, and peacefully. You drew the shift today?"  
"Yes, Lisa checked on him earlier and Doctor Kam and myself have both been up as well"  
"And I slept through all that, I'm sorry"

She grinned at him, "Don't be. You needed the sleep. Doctor Kam is going to call you around noon but we believe Steve has now crashed. In this phase, he'll sleep a lot for the next few days"

"The Doctor explained that to me. How many days do you think this will last?"  
"It could be one, but I've seen it last up to four days"  
"What about his meds and eating?"  
"He'll wake periodically to use the bathroom and we'll take care of the essential things at those times. Did he sleep through the night"  
"He had a rough one. He fell asleep about three o'clock, but as far as I know he's slept good since then. Can you keep an eye on him so I can shower?"  
"Of course. I'm here to watch him, you've been doing our job you know?"  
"Yes, I know. Sorry about that"  
"There's nothing to apologize for. He's very lucky to have such a devoted friend"  
"He'd do the same for me. In fact, he's spent many nights at my side when I've been down. He's a great man"  
"So are you Mr. Williams"

Danny thanked her again and headed upstairs. He was starving but even more than food, he needed a nice hot shower right now.

**50505050505050505050505050**

The next two days were very quiet as Steve slept almost constantly. His pains were less severe, so much so, that Danny was feeling relieved enough to leave him in Chin and Kono's care while he spent a full Saturday afternoon with Rachel and the kids. After talking with Rachel they both sat down with Gracie and let her know that they would be staying in Hawaii and that he would be staying with 5-0. The little girl was so relieved and more anxious than ever to see her Uncle Steve. Danny explained that once he was fully rested she could come for a visit, and knowing that it would only be a couple of more days seemed to satisfy the youngster.

On Sunday, Steve was showing a bit more energy and his spirits really perked up when Catherine arrived in Hawaii on a two week leave.  
He was on the patio enjoying the sunshine when she stepped from the kitchen smiling broadly, "Hey Sailor"  
He stood stiffly from his chair, smiling from ear to ear as he embraced his love saying softly, "I'm so happy to see you"  
Parting, she gently touched his bruised face and kissed him tenderly, "I love you Steve"  
"I love you honey. I'm so sorry for everything"  
"Please baby…you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm here and I always will be"  
The others left them alone to talk and Steve finally shared with her his past with Emily and of his friendship with Chad and although many tears were shed it was cleansing for Steve. They talked about his recovery and of his battle with the addiction.

"Honey, are you certain you want to do this alone? There are wonderful facilities that can help you through this"  
He smirked, "Have you been talking to Daniel or what?"  
"What?"  
He chuckled, "I'm kidding Cath, but I'm not alone in this. Danny's been with me every minute and Kono and Chin are going out of their way to help. Now I've got you", He smiled sweetly, "I'm not alone"

She kissed his bandaged hand, "You've ALWAYS had me baby and you ALWAYS will. Please don't ever forget that"  
"I won't"

****** MORE TO COME SHORTLY ******


	45. Chapter 45

******* WARNING ! Please be forewarned that this chapter contains a scene of domestic violence. I have been weighing whether or not to go this way with it as I do not in any way view abuse lightly. I hope you can all keep it in the context of the fictional story of Steve's difficult struggle *******

**5050505050505050505050505050 **

Steve was doing so well that on Tuesday Doctor Kam agreed to stop the daily visits and round the clock nursing care with the understanding that Danny would contact him if he needed anything. He removed all of Steve's stitches except in the injured left hand which was still slightly red and infected.

Steve and Danny also agreed that it was finally safe enough to bring Gracie for a visit.  
Wednesday afternoon Rachel brought the little girl over after school. Steve was sitting on the couch when they entered the house and as her eyes met his, he sat forward and help out his arms. She raced to him and he engulfed her in a warm, loving hug.  
She touched his bruised face with her tiny fingers, "Does it hurt much Uncle Steve?"  
"Just a little bit honey"  
"I love you Uncle Steve, I'm so sorry you're hurt"  
"You always make me feel so much better Gracie. I'm so happy to see you, and I love you very, very much"  
She whispered softly, "Thanks for talking to Danno. I'm so happy we're staying with you in Hawaii"  
He kissed her forehead, "Me too sweetheart. Hey, thanks for calling me"  
She grinned widely, "And thank you for saving my Uncle Matty"  
"You're welcome. So Miss Grace, when is your Spelling B?"  
"Next Thursday"  
"Did you bring your list so we can study together?"  
"Mommy didn't want me to bring it tonight"  
"That's okay. We'll have lots of time to study. Did you know Danno was cooking dinner tonight?"  
She turned up her nose, "Really?"

Danny came in from the kitchen, "Hey, I heard that Monkey! Come give Danno a hug" She jumped off Steve's lap and moved to give him a hug as he added, "I thought you liked my cooking?"

"I love your cooking Danno!"  
Steve added, "It's just not as good as mine, right Gracie?"  
Danny pointed at his friend, "That's enough out of you Superman"  
Gracie giggled, "What are we having Daddy?"  
"Lasagna, garlic bread and salads"  
"I LOVE your lasagna Danno!"  
"Now, that's my girl!"  
They all laughed and Rachel went into the kitchen to help Danny as Gracie went back to visiting with Steve, Catherine, Kono and Chin.

They all had a wonderful time at dinner and were all in agreement that Danny's lasagna was fantastic! After dinner they all sat on the patio visiting. There were lots of smiles and laughter, but at about nine o'clock Danny noticed Steve squirming more in his chair.  
"Hey, you okay Steve?"  
"Huh? Yeah, I'm great….Why don't I look pretty?"  
That comment drew a giggle from Gracie which turned to ruckus laughter as the SEAL pulled her onto his lap tickling her.

Danny saw the pain in his partner's face as the little girl banged up against his injured ribcage.  
He reached down and pulled Gracie from the SEAL's arms, "Steven, are you trying to hurt yourself or what?"  
"Calm down Danno, I'm fine!" Steve smiled at the little girl, "Can you believe him Gracie?"  
"STEVE, you have multiple broken and badly bruised ribs"  
"Danno….I'm fine, I promise"

By ten thirty everyone had left for the night and Steve took a shower as Danny and Catherine cleaned up the kitchen.  
"He's hurting pretty bad right now, you know….."  
Cath took hold of his arm and squeezed firmly, "Yes, but he had a wonderful time tonight"  
"I'm just afraid he won't sleep well"  
"He's right…."  
"Right about what?"  
"You worry too much Danno"  
"Yeah, well it's part of my job description and he gives me lots to worry about"

Once they finished up, she took Steve's meds and a bottle of water and headed up to bed leaving Danny trying to find something to watch on TV.

**505050505050505050505050**

He couldn't sleep, he just had a gut feeling Steve had overdone it.  
At about one thirty his fears were realized as he heard tortured screams, cries and banging coming from the upstairs bedroom.  
He raced two steps at a time up the stairs towards the bedroom.  
He could hear Steve screaming…..horribly pained, emotional screams, "NO! NO! NO MORE….TELL ME WHO KILLED CHAD! GOD DAMN IT TELL ME OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Danny could not have even imagined the horror that faced him as he ran through the door. Steve had Catherine by the throat. They were on the bed and he had thrown her up against the wall behind the beds' headboard. Catherine's arms were flaying weakly and her lips were tinged blue. Danny did not hesitate, throwing himself across the bed barreling into the SEAL's midsection. Steve released his grip on Catherine and the two men fell across the nightstand onto the floor. Danny was hollering to his partner the entire time attempting to snap him back to reality. Danny's head came into contact with the small lamp as they crashed to the ground, cutting the side of his forehead. He could hear Cath gasping for air and sobbing hysterically as he attempted to pin Steve to the ground. He was sitting on his chest, his knees holding Steve's struggling arms to the ground. Blood was flowing freely from his head wound falling onto Steve's face. Danny held one arm across his partners' chest while pushing down onto his forehead with the other.

"STEVE, STEVE! SNAP OUT OF BABE, WAKE UP STEVE! WAKE UP"  
The SEAL struggled as much as his injured body allowed. He was in obvious pain and he continued to call out, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH REYNOLDS, WHERE"S MY PARTNER?"

At this moment Danny was thankful Steve was injured for he was certain he could not have subdued him if he were at full strength. His head was throbbing as he slapped Steve hard across the face, one…two….three times, "STEVEN, WAKE UP! IT'S DANNY BABE, ITS DANNY, WAKE UP!"

Suddenly Steve came around and with a look of absolute confusion on his face he asked quietly, "Danny? What the hell happened?"  
"Are you okay Steve?"  
"No…oh God no….what did I do? Where's Cath?"  
"Relax buddy. I'm going to get off you, now you don't move"  
"WHAT DID I DO?"  
Hearing his anguished cries, Catherine knelt at his side as Danny slid off him and helped him sit up. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, her lip was split and swollen and her cheekbone was bruising. But even worse than that was her throat. Violent red hand marks covered her tender flesh from where his strong hands had tightly grasped.

Danny's eyes never left his partners face. As the realization of what he had done sank in, tears instantly began streaming down Steve's face and his lips quivered as he choked out the words, "Oh my God Cath….no" Without hesitation she pulled him to her breast as he sobbed uncontrollably, "I'm sorry.…oh shit what's wrong with me…..oh my God"  
She cradled his head, talking soothingly "Ssshhhhh, I'm fine baby…you had a bad dream…ssshhh"

Danny left the room quickly to grab a towel from the bathroom for his head and a wet cloth for Cath's face. Returning he handed the cloth to Cath and holding the towel to his wound he knelt next to them and took hold of Steve's hand.  
"Steve, look at me buddy"  
Steve turned his head to face his partner, "I'm so sorry"  
"Catherine's right, we're both okay…you had a bad dream"  
"What's wrong with me. Danno, if you weren't here I could have killed Cath…..oh my God, oh my God" His body was shaking with fear and pain.  
Danny added, "You're sick babe. The drugs in your body are fucking you up"  
"I could have killed her…."  
"Look at her partner, she's okay. I'm okay. This is my fault, I shouldn't have left you alone. I won't do it again. We'll get through this, I promise"

Cath used the cloth to clean Danny's blood from Steve's face and it took a good twenty minutes before he had calmed down enough to get back into bed. Danny pulled chairs up to the bed and he and Catherine sat with him quietly, soothing him as he continued to mumble apologies until exhaustion finally took him back under.

**505050505050505050505050**

Once they were certain he was asleep Danny turned to Catherine, "Are you okay sweetheart?"  
She glanced back at Steve and the floodgates opened. Not wanting to wake him and still pressing the towel against his forehead, Danny grabbed her hand saying softly, "Come here"

Moving into the hallway Danny pulled her into an embrace, "It's going to be okay" He rubbed her back attempting to calm her.  
The poor girl was shaking in his arms. After a few minutes she pulled from him, "Oh God, I'm sorry Danny"  
"Stop….listen to me, are you okay?"  
"Yes, yes…..thanks to you. Oh Danny, I was so scared….his eyes…they were so full of anger…..and pain"  
"It's my fault"  
"No, it's not your fault….it's not Steve's fault…..it's nobody's fault"

He told her of the incident with Chin earlier, adding "He's only had a couple of dreams. I thought he was doing so well…God I'm sorry…..he didn't know what he was doing Cath"  
"I know that Danny. I've been with him when he's had nightmares before and I've been able to control him, and to wake him. He's NEVER, NEVER gotten physical with me…..he wasn't himself"

"It's the drugs Catherine. How much do you know about Meth and the withdrawal symptoms?"  
She sobbed softly, "Not much….only what you've told me"  
"It's common for addicts…"  
She interrupted him, "Danny….please, please don't call him that"  
"I'm sorry. It's common to have anxiety, paranoia, mood disturbances, depression….he's experienced all of that. There can also be psychotic episodes and violent behavior. He's now in what's called the 'hangover' phase which could last up to fourteen days. Then the actual withdrawal phase could last up to ninety days. According to Doctor Kam, he has a large amount of meth in his bloodstream. Cath, he's refusing outside help….I don't know what to do for him" Danny was now crying as well, "It hurts bad to watch him go through this"

"You're doing everything that can be done. Thank you Danny…..thank you for loving him and for taking such good care of him" She hugged him and then added, "I need to look at your head now"  
"I'm alright"  
"Yeah, sure….you sound a lot like someone else I know"  
Danny grinned, "He tends to rub off on you after a while you know"  
"Tell me about it….Danny, thank you"  
"I'm so glad I was here Catherine"  
She responded softly, "Me too"

After peaking in on Steve the two retreated to the bathroom for better lighting.  
Pulling the towel from his head, the wound again bled freely, "Danny, you need stitches here"  
He looked in the mirror, "Yeah, maybe…..I'm not leaving though, how are your nursing skills?"  
"I could do it"  
Breaking the tension, Danny asked "You won't mess up my pretty face now will you?"  
She grinned back at him "I'll try my best not to"  
"That's good enough for me"

After he was stitched and washed up he went downstairs to grab a clean shirt from his bag while Cath cleaned up her lip. Both of them then sat at Steve's side talking quietly as the man slept.

Danny was amazed at how tough Catherine was. Steve was right though, this could have been an absolute disaster. If he hadn't been there to pull him off her, Catherine would be dead. Now hours later he was convinced that she would be okay, but he wasn't sure if his partner would be….

********* Much More to come in Steve's recovery…I hope you're enjoying and I'd love to hear your thoughts *********


	46. Chapter 46

Steve woke a little after six in the morning. He glanced at his sleeping partner and the crudely stitched head wound which was about four inches long. Cath must have stitched him up. He then turned his eyes to the lady he loved so dearly and he was instantly filled with an intense feeling of shame and dread. He couldn't remember anything about what happened, not a damn thing…but it didn't matter…there was no excuse in the world for what he did. He always took responsibility for his actions, and this would be no exception. His eyes welled with tears as he looked at her. Danny was leaning back, slumped in his chair and snoring softly. Cath was curled up in a chair next to him, her head was on a pillow that was resting on Danny's shoulder. He felt sick to his stomach as he looked at her now bruising throat. Her cheek and lip were also both bruised and swollen. He closed his eyes tightly, saying softly…"Oh God why…..why"

He lay quietly for several minutes before slipping out of bed. His ribs hurt horribly causing him to gasp as he sucked air into his lungs. He didn't want to wake them and he needed to clear his head. He used the bathroom and lifting his shirt he noted the fresh bruising on his side from the hit from Danny. He brushed his teeth and then stood at the sink splashing cold water onto his face. God he felt so sick to his stomach….taking a deep breath he made his way downstairs and after taking his anti-biotic he started a pot of coffee. While it was brewing, he went into his den and took a photo album from the shelf. Pouring himself a cup of coffee he left the house and walked down to the beach.

He loved sitting at the Ocean at this time of day, it always brought him peace and serenity. He sat looking out over the beautiful blue Ocean as the sun began to rise. He had to hold his coffee with both hands as they were shaking horribly. About twenty minutes passed before he dropped the coffee cup into the sand and opened up the album. He looked at pictures he hadn't viewed in a long time, too long. The first photos were of Chad and Christina's wedding, a joyous day in its own right made even brighter because it brought Emily into his life. He ran his fingertips lovingly over her picture. He often wondered where she was, what she was doing. Had she met someone else? Was she happy? He hoped so, she deserved happiness. For several months after their breakup they had keep in touch but it became just too difficult. They both still loved each other so deeply, and together they finally made the heart-wrenching decision that they could not continue to communicate. Not wanting to hurt her any more Steve left two days later, moving back to Hawaii without telling her. Six months later he wrote her a letter but he never heard back from her.

He continued to scroll through the pictures oblivious to the fact that Danny had arrived.

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As Danny sat in the deck chair, Steve spoke softly "Good morning partner"  
"Morning. I brought you some coffee"  
Steve closed the album and took the coffee from him, "Thanks...how's your head?"  
"I'm fine...it's nothing"

They sat quietly for several minutes before Danny asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
"Danny…..I'm so ashamed of myself"  
"I can understand that, but there's no reason you should be"  
"I've never laid a hand on any woman Danny, let alone someone I love….I almost killed her for God's sake"  
"Steve, your body is full of the junk. You know what that means. You're not yourself babe, it's not your fault"  
"Then whose fault is it Danno?" His voice shook, "It was my hands. My hands….my fault"

"I don't know what to say babe. It happened and you can't change it. I know in the McGarrett world, everything in life is black and white, right and wrong but the reality is Steve, the world is full of grey. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it, you're not yourself right now. Tell me something, will you…..do you remember hitting Cath? Do you remember choking her?"

"No….God no...I can't remember anything"  
"That's the grey I'm talking about buddy. You're not responsible, the drugs are fucking with your mind"  
"Danny, have I had other blackouts like that?" Steve turned his head as his partner hesitated, "Danny?"  
"One Steven, one, but it really doesn't matter"  
The blood drained from the SEAL's face, "Tell me what happened"  
"Steve…"  
"Damn it Danny, what did I do?"  
"The other day when you had the nightmare and put your fist through your bedroom door…."  
"Yeah?"  
"Why do we gotta go there Steven?"  
"BECAUSE DANNY, I have to know"  
Danny sighed deeply before continuing, "You had jumped off the couch and grabbed Chin by the throat. You pushed him up against the cabinet in the living room. Kono was able to talk you down and you released him and ran upstairs"

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"  
The pain in Steve's voice cut through Danny, "Steve, listen….I didn't see any reason to upset you"  
"UPSET ME? Danny…...man, I was choking Chin, our BROTHER, and you didn't want to upset me?"  
"Yes that's right. I made that call and it was the right one to make and before you say another word Steven, YOU my friend would have done the same thing!"

Steve knew Danny was right, he WOULD have done the same thing. He simply asked, "Did I hurt him?"  
"He had his bell rung and got a good lump on his head, but he's fine. He didn't want you to know either"  
"Now do you understand why I don't want drugs Danno?"  
"Steve, I know you have dreams every so often and Catherine told me you've had them when she's been with you before. Babe, how often do you have these nightmares?"

Steve was staring straight ahead, "All the time…..at least a couple times a week"  
"God partner, I'm sorry"  
"It goes with the territory. I've told you before Danny, I've done a lot of horrible things….it's the price I have to pay. I've accepted it and most of the time I can deal with it. When I drink too much or am impaired in any way though the dreams get more intense and I can have these blackout moments. Because of my training, I know I can react violently during those times and that scares the living hell out of me" Steve's voice was shaking as he continued, "God Danny, I never meant to hurt any of you…..I love you"

"We know that Steve. Why do you think we're all still here. We love you, we all love you babe and we're worried about you"  
"I'm sorry…..oh God I'm so sorry"  
"Let us help you Steve…we want to help you"  
"I can't face her Danny. She must hate me"  
"Are you kidding? She loves you, she told me last night. The incident scared her, but she knows it was the drugs…it wasn't you. She loves you Steve"  
"I need some time alone Danny…"  
"Okay….I'll go start some breakfast"  
As Danny stood and turned to walk away, Steve called out to him "Danno, thank you"  
"You're welcome"

**50505050505050505050505050**

When he entered the house he heard the shower running upstairs. He started another pot of coffee and he was standing at the sink cleaning and cutting strawberries when Cath entered the kitchen.  
He turned to her, "Good morning. How do you feel?"  
"Better, thanks. I saw you two down at the water. Is he okay?"  
"He's embarrassed and ashamed. He loves you Catherine and he needs you"  
"I'll go talk to him"  
She smiled and leaving the house she walked down to the beach.

He had left the chair and was standing in ankle deep water.  
She moved to his side, placing a hand on his forearm. Steve instinctively put his arm around her, pulling her close to him. He kissed her forehead saying softly, "I'm so sorry my love. I didn't mean to hurt you, please know that"  
"Honey, I know that. I'm okay and I'm here for you. I love you Steve"  
She put her hands tenderly onto Steve's face, pulling him to her and kissing him softly.

As they parted, he gently touched her bruised and swollen lip and cheek as tears welled in his eyes. "Oh God…"  
"Ssshhhhh…..it's okay baby, I'm fine" She kissed his cheek tasting the salty tears that slipped from his eyes. He couldn't say anything else as he pulled her to his chest. They stood and held each other for a long time. No words were spoken, nor were they needed as they simply comforted each other.

Eventually Cath said, "Danny's probably got breakfast for us, are you ready?"  
After one more kiss, he stroked her cheek gently, "Yeah"  
They walked hand in hand up the hill and across the yard, smelling bacon and eggs as they entered the house.

********* Hope you're still enjoying, much more to follow **********


	47. Chapter 47

While Steve and Catherine were finishing up a wonderful breakfast, Danny moved out onto the patio to call Chin and Kono.  
A short while later he joined them at the table and after refreshing their coffee he sat down.  
Cath stated, "Breakfast was wonderful Danny, thank you"  
"You're welcome. I hope you guys are okay with this. Chin got his Uncle's boat for the day so we can all enjoy a day on the water"  
Steve grinned, "Really? You said you'd never go on a boat with me again"  
"Well, I'm bringing Catherine, Kono and Chin along so they can help keep you under control. No swimming with the sharks today Steven"  
As Catherine kissed Steve's cheek the SEAL stated, "Thanks Danno, it sounds great, and I promise...I'll stay in the boat"

The group had a fabulous day relaxing on the boat, enjoying the sun and good conversation. As the temperature rose Steve took his shirt off and Danny couldn't help but notice the large amount of fresh, blue/purple bruising on his side from his 'tackle' last night. He decided not be bring it up since Steve appeared to be enjoying himself. He looked at Chin and as their eyes met they both smiled at the realization their plan had worked. They had figured that getting Steve out of the house would be the best thing for him and it looked like they had been right. It was nice to see Steve relaxed and smiling.

When they arrived back at the house, Kono and Catherine went on a grocery run and while Danny and Chin took care of the boat they sent Steve inside to take a nap. He slept peacefully on the couch until the girls returned with steaks, jumbo shrimp, peppers, onions and potatoes along with a luscious cheesecake for dessert.  
As they all milled around in the kitchen Danny asked Steve quietly, "Hey partner, how are your ribs man?"  
"I'm a little sore, no big deal though"  
"You know, I'm sorry about that…I didn't mean to hurt you"  
"Are you kidding babe? It's a very small price to pay Daniel…..I owe you"  
They clasped hands as Danny responded, "You don't owe me anything"  
Steve then added, "I need to talk to Chin"  
"Alright, I'll get the grill started"  
Steve then called out, "Hey Chin, buddy can we go talk?"

The two men walked out into the yard as the others began to prepare dinner.  
Chin inquired, "What's up boss? Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah Chin, I just wanted to apologize to you for the other day"  
A confused Chin responded, "What are you talking about?"  
"I'm sorry about the other day…when I attacked you. I didn't know….."  
"Steve, I know that. You don't owe me any apologizes. We're Ohana brah. We're in this together"  
"Thank you brother"  
"I haven't had a chance to really talk to you. Thank you for saving my life Steve"  
Steve grinned at him, "Like you said, we're Ohana…you're welcome and I love you man"  
"I love you too. Promise me something will you?"  
"Yeah, what is it?"  
"Don't ever forget that we're here for you and we always will be. You're not alone Steve"  
As the two men embraced, Steve said softly, "Thank you"

They had a great dinner and afterwards Steve was exhausted. He insisted on helping clean up the kitchen but as soon as they were done and Chin and Kono said their goodbyes for the night Steve excused himself and went upstairs to bed. They had all agreed that for Catherine's safety, she would sleep in the spare bedroom with Danny sleeping on a cot next to his bed. Steve had been the one to suggest this, not being willing to take any chance of last nights' horror being repeated.

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Danny woke to Steve's moans at about two thirty in the morning. He had kicked the covers off the bed and he was curled in a fetal position clutching his stomach, with his back turned to Danny. He was wearing only boxers and his head and body were drenched in sweat. Danny pulled the sheet and blanket from the floor and covered him up. Steve was mumbling softly, obviously in the throes of yet another nightmare. This one though, Danny knew only too well.  
Steve was saying over and over again, "I don't kknnow who Shellbburne iis….." His body was twitching, almost as if the electric prod was being applied at this moment and not simply being a horrific memory.

Danny had to wake him from this nightmare many times over the past year, but never when the SEAL had drugs coursing through his body. Instead of touching him and startling him, Danny leaned close to his ear and whispered to him calmly, "Steve, it's okay buddy, Danno's right here…I've got you partner. Danno's got you"

He continued talking to him softly until he heard Steve respond, his voice shaking with emotion, "Danno?"  
Danny put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm here babe"  
"Danny…..I ccan't ddo this anymore….oh God it hhurts"  
"I know…..I know"  
"I nneed ….oh sshiit DDanno, I need a ffix….I ccan't do this anymmorre…help mme please"  
Steve's words terrified him "Relax buddy, slow down your breathing for me…..nice and slow babe, in…out…..in….out, relax…."  
"I can't do itt…I'm ssorry…"  
"You can. You're doing so great Steve…you CAN do this…I'm here, Cath's here…"  
At the mention of Cath's name Steve began to sob hysterically, "No….no not Cath….ddon't ttell Cath Danno please"

Steve was pushing away and Danny grabbed him around the chest pulling him down onto his lap, "Hey stop, relax….she's sleeping babe"  
"I nneed a ffix Danno….hhellp mme"  
Steve clutched at the collar of Danny's t-shirt. His entire body was shaking as Danny held him tightly, trying to calm him "You don't need that crap Steve…you're strong, you're so damn strong. You're beating this shit Steven, you're winning"

Steve's eyes, God his eyes….Danny had never known anyone who could 'talk' with his eyes like Steve McGarrett could and right now those eyes were filled with agony and fear and Danny's heart was breaking for him.  
"Danny…..oh God…..I hurttt so ffuckiing bad"

Danny grabbed Steve's free hand and squeezed it tightly, "I know….I know. I need you to relax for me babe, relax….ssshhhhh….. I've got you and I'm not going anywhere. Close your eyes for me, relax…sssssshhhhhhh"

"DDannyy….I'm ssorry"  
"Ssssshhhhhhhhh, no more talk now. I need you to sleep and I'll be right here when you wake up partner…..ssshhhhhh"  
Steve's voice shook, "Oh God…oh God"  
Steve's eye's closed and while still holding his hand, Danny pulled the blanket up, tucking it tightly around him, "That a boy, I got you…sleep now"  
Danny glanced at the doorway seeing Catherine standing there, tears running down her cheeks. He didn't know how long she had been there, or how much she had heard. Their eyes met and Catherine forced a smile. Blowing Danny a kiss, she mouthed the words _'thank you'_ and turning, she went back to the spare bedroom leaving Danny to tend to his ailing friend.

Almost half an hour passed before Steve's body began to relax in his arms. He released his grasp on Danny's shirt as exhaustion took him back under.

In the spare room Catherine laid on the bed, hugging a pillow and sobbing into it. She had seen Steve in pain before and she had seen him fight the demons of his past in nightmares, and then last night...But tonight she saw something that terrified her even more. The strongest, toughest man she had ever known was experiencing a pain and despair that she had never seen in him. He was pleading with Danny to give him meth….through her tears Cath prayed to God to give the man she loved the strength to keep fighting and she also thanked God for bringing Danny into his life.

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Danny didn't sleep as he continued to comfort Steve throughout the rest of the night. Steve would wake every twenty minutes or so as his body battled the pain. Danny heard Catherine go into the bathroom at about six thirty and the shower turned on. While it was still running Steve woke and Danny inquired, "How are you doing?"  
He said weakly, "A little better…Danno, I'm sorry"  
"What did we agree to man, I'm here and I'm, not going anywhere and you have NOTHING to be sorry for"  
"I feel so weak…..thank you for not giving me more junk"  
"How could I? You threw it all out, remember?"  
"Oh yeah…..I did"  
Danny looked at him seriously, "Steve, you DID throw it all out right?"  
"Yes, yes I did Danny….I knew the cravings would get bad…I didn't want the shit around"  
"That's good partner. I'm not surprised that even fucked up you still think logically"  
Steve chuckled, "Sometimes…except when I'm talking to my dead buddies, right?"  
Danny brushed a tear from Steve's cheek, "Hey, you're doing great Superman"  
"I don't think that nickname applies to me anymore buddy"  
"Don't sell yourself short babe. Hey, Catherine's in the shower, are you up to seeing her?"  
"Not right now D'…...I want to try to sleep a bit if that's okay?"  
"Of course it's okay, you're still the boss babe "

Steve moved off Danny's lap and with his help he was soon under the covers. As Danny left the room he stated, "Holler if you need me"  
"I will Danno, thanks"

A short time later, Catherine joined Danny in the kitchen.  
"Coffee Cath?"  
"Yes, thank you"  
He poured two cups and joined her at the table. "How are you doing?"  
"Okay…..is he sleeping?"  
"I hope so, he's tired. Cath…..how much did you hear last night?"  
"I think I heard most of it. I was up using the bathroom…." Her lips quivered as she continued softly, "He didn't want to see me…. and God, Danny….he wanted more drugs"

She wiped the tears from her eyes as Danny responded, "Yeah…..he did. Cath, I've seen so many people go through withdrawal and it's brutal even when you're weaning off slowly. As you know, our boy can't do anything the slow way"

"He's in such pain Danny…..it's so hard to watch"  
Danny took her hand in his and rubbed it gently, "Honey that's why he doesn't want to see you. He doesn't want to hurt you. Last night scared him to death"  
"But I want to be there for him Danny"  
"He knows that Cath. But you have to remember what I told you, his emotions are all over the place. He doesn't have control over that right now. We need to make things as…..I can't say easy, because he's in the toughest battle of his life…let's say we need to make things as 'calming' as possible and we have to be strong for him because whether he chooses to admit it or not, he's at his absolute weakest right now"

"I understand Danny….and I'll be there when he needs me. I want you to know something. Last night after seeing Steve in such despair, I cried and cried, but I also prayed for him and Danny, I thanked God that he has you to take care of him. Thank you dear friend"  
Danny was overwhelmed by her words and he saw a side of Catherine Rollins he had never seen before, a soft, tender side and he saw a woman who he knew in his gut would someday marry that stubborn ass SEAL.

********* Hope you're still enjoying…HAPPY READING ! **********


	48. Chapter 48

Danny had an appointment scheduled for the DNA testing on Charlie at ten o'clock. Chin was still quite weak and in Steve's current condition he didn't feel comfortable leaving.  
Catherine was insisting he go to the appointment, "Danny, you have to go. This is so important. We'll be fine"  
"Cath, this can wait until he's doing better. There is no way I'm leaving you guys alone with him. Not after the last couple of nights, he's just too volatile right now. Chin's not strong enough to handle him"

"Danny I understand that you want to protect us…"  
Danny interrupted her, "I do, and I want to protect him as well. He's already beating himself up over the previous instances. We can't put him in a position to let anything else happen"

She closed her eyes and nodded, "You're right Danny, you're right…How about Kamekona, could we get him to stay with us?"  
Danny smiled, "Good idea my dear" He pulled out his cellphone, "Big Guy it's Danno"  
"Aloha Daniel, how's the big Kahuna doing?"  
"He's recovering but it's going to be a slow process. I have a favor to ask you?"  
"Anything bruder"  
Danny told him of Steve's violent outbursts and asked if he could stay with him while he was gone, just in case.  
"Yeah of course. Hey Jersey? Do you know if he still has that stimulator?"  
Catherine noticed the look of puzzlement that crossed Danny's face as he responded, "What? Stimulator? What are you talking about?"  
Catherine broke out laughing and Danny mouthed, _'WHAT?'  
_Through her laughter she said, "Tell him yes, Steve's still got it"  
"Uh yeah Big Guy, Catherine says he's got it…...so, we'll see you about nine thirty? Thank you"  
As he hung up the phone he turned to Catherine, "Is there something I should know about here? What kind of stimulator does Steve have and more importantly, WHY is he sharing it with Kamekona?"

Cath was laughing hysterically and tears were rolling down her cheeks, "He means…..Oh God….he means simulator Danny! He's talking about the Flight Simulator video"  
"Oh for showing him how to fly that chopper...….that tiny, unsafe...flying deathtrap!"  
"Yes…..oh God yes"

Steve walked into the kitchen as the two were still laughing uncontrollably. His eyes darted back and forth between the two and smiling he asked, "What did I miss here?"  
Neither one could respond as they giggled and snorted, trying to control themselves. Eventually Danny was able to say, "Kaamee…..kona, wwants to use…your stimulator Steve"

Steve chuckled, "I thought I was the crazy one here, but you two are nuts"  
Once they calmed down Danny explained that he had his appointment and that Kamekona would be coming to help out.  
Steve looked at Danny seriously, stating "Good, that's good. You need to keep that appointment" Keeping a straight face, he added "I promise Danno, I'll let Kamekona use my stimulator"

That started the laughter from all three of them again. For the first time in days the McGarrett house was filled with laughter and tears of joy instead of fear and tears of pain. They all smiled, and at least for the moment, all was good.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny returned to find that Steve was down at the water's edge and Kamekona was sharing the 'stimulator' with Chin.  
Leaving the men inside, he joined Kono and Catherine on the patio.  
Kono smiled at him, "How did it go?"  
"Good…they'll mail the results to Rachel in about ten days"  
"Oh Danny, I really hope he's yours"  
"Me too Kono, but I'll be there for him either way. He's a great kid"  
"And he's adorable"  
"Well that settles it then, he must be mine"  
Kono smiled, "Oh God Danny, you're terrible!"  
"How's Steve doing?"  
Catherine responded, "He didn't eat much for lunch and he wanted some time alone"  
"So how long's he been down there?"  
"Almost an hour"  
"I'll go let him know I'm back"

After grabbing a couple bottles of water, he made his way down to the water. Steve continued to stare out at the Ocean as Danny handed him a water.  
"Thanks D'….did everything go okay?"  
"Yeah, we'll know in about a week. How are you feeling?"  
"The pains are pretty bad today"  
"You know you don't have to isolate yourself like this….we're all here to help you"  
"Danny please….I can't let…..I can't let them see me like this….weak, weak and pathetic"  
"Steve you're not weak and you're sure in the hell not pathetic, but I understand. I'll have them leave"  
"Danny...Catherine too"  
Danny reminded himself, _'give him space, everything has to be on his timeframe…give him space'_ he looked directly into Steve's eyes before responding "Okay partner"  
With no further words spoken, Danny turned and headed back up to the house.

The others were understanding, but disappointed to leave for the day. Danny agreed to call them if he needed anything, and honoring Steve's wishes, they all left. Danny sat on the patio keeping an eye on his partner while he called Washington to talk to Matt.  
"Little brother! How are you doing?"  
"A lot better Daniel. In fact they're getting ready to spring me the day after tomorrow"  
"Hey Matty stop man…no details, you know better than that"  
"Yeah, sorry. WitSec has everything set. They'll be in touch with you"  
"So you're healing well, and feeling good?"  
"Feeling great and according to the Doc, I'm going to make it…..thanks to Steve. How is he Danny?"  
"I'm not going to lie to you Matty, he's hurting….but he's a tough SOB"  
"I'm so sorry Danny. I never meant for this to happen to him"  
"He knows that Matt. He doesn't blame you and neither do I. He didn't have to go after you, especially not alone"  
"But he did, and I almost got him killed…"  
"If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't have gone"

"Don't kid yourself Daniel, he didn't risk everything for me….he did it for you. You're a lucky man. So many people love you and would do anything for you. I've messed up my life royally Danny…God I'm so sorry"

"Matty you don't think you're loved? You're my brother and I love you to death, you know that…and Mom, Dad, our sisters and all the kids…God Matthew, we all love you and miss you so much"

"I'm so tired of living like this Danny"  
"Brother, you have no other choice, it's the only way to assure your safety"  
"But Steve took them out….."  
Danny interrupted him, "Matty, listen to me. This cartel runs deep and there is no way we can be certain they won't try to get to you again, especially now. Steve and I told you about this before babe. It's not only for your protection, but it's for Mom, Dad and the girls"

"Oh shit Danny…I'm so sorry. Please tell Steve…oh God, it's all my fault"  
"Matt, you're healing and Steve's healing and I want you to listen to me. I have NEVER lied to you and I never will. You have made some horrible decisions in your life and those decisions have caused great pain to those who love you…but Matty, we still love you and we always will. Our love is unconditional buddy. And as far as Steve goes, he doesn't regret helping you and I can tell you brother, he would do it all again if you were in danger. You'll get a chance to talk to him but he needs to keep focused on beating this shit right now. I've been telling him that you're okay…..I'm not lying to him now, am I brother?"

"No Danny, you're not lying, I'm okay. Thank you…..thank you for sticking by me. I love you"  
"I love you too and I'll talk to you soon, I promise….bye now"  
Hanging up the phone, Danny closed his eyes and sighed deeply. Witness relocation was a tough way to live, but there was no other choice for Matty and he was just going to have to learn to deal with it. Once Steve was doing a bit better, they planned on traveling to wherever WitSec had him settle. Both Steve and Matty needed to see each other to put closure on the ordeal they had been through.  
Looking back towards the water he saw Steve walking up the hill to the house. He couldn't help but notice how gaunt the SEAL looked. He had lost a lot of weight, he was pale and it was obvious that he was in pain.

**50505050505050505050505050**

As he stepped onto the deck Danny asked, "Are you okay?"  
"No Danny, I'm not….I hurt like hell and I want a fucking hit!" Danny moved closer and as he placed a hand on Steve's forearm, the SEAL pushed him away, "LEAVE ME ALONE DANNO! JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

Steve entered the house and as Danny watched on, he grabbed a couple bottles of water from the fridge and without saying anything else he went upstairs. Danny heard the bedroom door slam and running a hand across his face he mumbled softly, "Damn it" He then moved into the living room and sitting on the couch he called and spoke to Kono, Rachel and Gracie before turning on the television. He sat staring endlessly at a hockey game as he tried to figure out what he could do to help his tortured partner upstairs.

A couple of hours later Danny made sandwiches for dinner. He put a sandwich, banana and chips onto a plate and carrying it upstairs he knocked on Steve's door. "Hey I've got a sandwich here for you"  
There was no response for several seconds before he heard a weak reply, "Go away Danno…please"  
Danny responded, "Yeah okay…..I'm leaving the sandwich for you. I'll be downstairs if you need me"  
Receiving no response, Danny set the plate and a bottle of water onto the floor and then turning, he went back downstairs.

******* Hope you like, and more to come! *******


	49. Chapter 49

Over the next two days Steve left his room only to use the bathroom. It was very difficult for Danny to let him be, to give him the space he was asking for, but he did it. As long as Steve responded to his knocks and was eating…he would stay out.

Kono called him on the second day, "Danny, I'm worried about him. Should he be left alone?"  
"I'm worried too Kono but I want to give him the space he needs"  
"He's depressed…he needs help"  
"Kono, I've talked to the Doctor. His behavior is not abnormal. Depression is a symptom of withdrawal"  
"God, we feel so helpless. Especially with not being there"  
"I know, I feel helpless too. Trust me, it's no easier being here. If he doesn't come out of the room by morning, I'll push back with him"  
"Okay. I'll talk to Catherine and Chin, please keep us posted"  
"I will…..bye"

At about seven that evening Danny heard the shower turn on upstairs. Taking that as a good sign he was even more relieved as the shower ran much longer than Steve's typical 'three minute Navy shower' At a little before eight o'clock Steve came down the stairs and made his way straight to the kitchen, asking as he passed, "Do you want a beer Danno?"  
"Uh yeah, sure" Picking up the remote from the coffee table he shut off the TV and waited for Steve's return.  
Steve returned and as he took the beer from him Danny asked, "Buddy, I really don't think you should be drinking, the junk is still in your system"  
"I'm only having one, it'll be okay"

As Steve sat down on the couch next to him, Danny noticed his facial wounds were healing nicely but his eyes were sunken and hollow and dark rings encircled them.  
"You look exhausted babe"  
Steve tipped his beer saying, "Maybe this will help me sleep, I haven't been doing much of that"  
"Are the pains still bad?"  
"Yeah, but the cravings have subsided a bit"  
"That's good"  
"Danny, thanks for giving me space….I've been doing a lot of thinking"  
"Anything you'd like to share?"

Danny watched his friend closely as he took a long drink and then began to talk softly, "Years ago Joe and I were sharing a few beers one night. We had just buried one of our men, Kevin Forrester. He had three kids Danny…..three babies, a four year old, a two year old and the youngest had just turned one right before we left on the mission. Two blonde haired, blue eyed beautiful little girls who idolized their daddy, and a baby boy who would never even remember him. Joe was on his third marriage at that time and I've never forgotten what he said to me that night…"  
"What's that?"  
"He told me that's why he had never had children. The thought of dying didn't scare him, but the thought of leaving behind a wife and children terrified him. Children needed their fathers. He told me that his first two marriages had ended because his wives had wanted children and he just couldn't do it. He told me the smartest thing I could to do would be to never marry. You know what Danny, he's right"

"So you're going to let a man who's had four failed marriages tell you never to marry?"  
Steve chuckled, "Fair enough…..but buddy I've seen too many good men, great men die. I've held them in my arms as they've taken their last breaths and every one of them who had kids, EVERY one of them Danny….their dying thoughts were of their wives and their kids, and of what would happen to them. I don't want to die worrying about those things"

Danny sighed deeply, "Steven…for a smart man, sometimes you can be really stupid do you know that?"  
Steve grinned, "Tell me about it, I'm listening"

"Now don't get me wrong babe, I respect Joe greatly but that's about the worst advice he ever could have given you. Steve, what is life about if you don't love?"  
"But I do love. I love Mary and you and Grace. I love Cath and Joe and Kono and Chin"

"And I can speak for EVERY one of them in saying that they all love you dearly but that's not what I'm talking about and you know it. Steve, you can't be afraid to give your heart to someone because of what 'might' happen. This is about Emily isn't it?"

Steve sat forward on the couch, placing his beer onto the coffee table, "I see Chad's eyes every night. I failed him in every way possible. Why couldn't it have been me Danny? Why? They're dead because of me. No matter what you say….they're all dead because of me. Chad…..Christina…their baby girl"

Danny knew his words meant nothing to his distraught partner at this moment, but he had to say it "You're wrong Steve. Chad died and that sucks man. He was a hero and he didn't deserve to die and Christina sure in the hell didn't deserve to be dealt that hand. She wasn't strong enough to handle it Steve, but that is not your fault. There is no way you could have seen that coming"

"But I should have Danny"  
"How? Tell me how? From what you've told me even Emily and their parents didn't see it coming"  
Steve's elbows were on his knees, his hands on his face as he said quietly, "I need to see Emily…I have to know that she's doing okay and that she's happy"

"Do you want to call her first?"  
"No. Danny, if I'm ever going to move on…..I've got to see her"  
"Okay, fine. Do you even know where she is?"  
"About five years ago I….I was thinking about her a lot. I tried to reach her but I couldn't find her. I called her brother and he told me that she was engaged and still living in San Diego. I decided not to try to reach her and her brother promised me he wouldn't tell her I called. I need closure though Danny….."

"Do you even know her name?"  
"Yeah, Emily Brenner"  
"Are you going to tell Catherine?"  
"Yes. I should have told her about Emily from the beginning and I'm relieved that she knows everything now. I'm not going to keep this from her"  
"That's good babe. When you're up to it, you and I will fly to San Diego and find Emily and you'll do what you need to do. You deserve happiness Steve. Catherine loves you very much…...whatever you do, don't push her away"

Steve grinned before adding, "I won't Danny. Hey, is there anything decent on TV tonight?"  
"I was going to watch Lethal Weapon"  
"Oh yeah, I haven't seen that in years, sounds good. They kind of remind me of us you know. Danny Glover, the straight arrow cop and Mel Gibson's crazy cop...yep, I'm a lot like Glover..."

Danny laughed, choking on his beer as he responded, "You're really something else you know that?"  
Steve smiled, simply saying "Thanks Danno"

Fifteen minutes into the movie Steve was sleeping soundly on the couch. Danny covered him with a blanket and then lying back in the recliner next to him, he to slept.

**5050505050505050505050505050**

Early the next morning Steve called Catherine asking her to come to the house. Danny had agreed with Steve, with slight hesitation, to leave the house for a while so the two could be alone.  
"I'm good Danny, I promise…..please don't worry"  
Steve chuckled as Danny responded, "Yeah, sure….don't worry….I've heard that before"

Danny met Catherine at the front door when she arrived and they embraced.  
"How is he?"  
"He's doing okay. He's opening up and that's good" He took her hands in his, "I'm going to leave you two alone, are you okay with that?"  
She squeezed his hands and leaning forward she kissed his cheek, "Of course I am Danny"  
"Will you call me?"  
"Yes dear, don't worry"  
Danny chuckled as he turned and left the house, "You two are definitely meant for each other…..he's out on the deck"  
She smiled as she watched him walk away and then taking a deep breath she turned and went to join Steve.

Steve stood as she came onto the deck. As she neared he pulled her to him, kissing her passionately.  
As their lips parted she said breathlessly, "Wow…it appears that you're feeling better"  
He responded by kissing her again, with even more passion. As their lips parted he brushed his fingers gently across her bruised face, bruises caused by the same hands that now so tenderly caressed them. He watched her carefully, watching as her eyes looked lovingly, lustfully into his, her now healing upper lip quivering under his touch. Steve had been worried about how she would react, afraid that she may show hesitation, fear. To his great relief, he saw nothing other than love, passion and desire…the same feelings he felt for her. As tears of joy welled in his eyes he pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly, feeling immense comfort from the loving embrace he received in return.

They stood in the warmth of the Hawaiian sun folding each other for several minutes before Steve whispered softly, his voice choked with emotion, "Cath we need to talk baby"  
She took his hand and they moved to the bench. Sitting, she turned towards him never releasing the grasp she maintained on his hand. With both her hands holding his, she gently ran her soft fingertips along the long, tender scar. She said nothing, she simply waited for him…..

"Cath, I love you. I love you so very much, please know that"  
"Baby I do know that. I've never questioned your love, not for one minute" As tears slid down his cheeks she continued, "Steve, it's okay…..whatever it is, just say it honey"

"I've told you everything about Emily, everything….I promise…but….."  
She squeezed his hand tighter with one hand as she reached up and brushed the tears from his cheek with the other, "Go on….."  
"Cath, I can't move on with us until…..Cath I have to see her. I have to know that that she's healthy and happy. I have to apologize to her"  
"Steve, her sister's death was not your fault. Nobody blames you"

"Maybe…but when we parted…looking back now honey, I know we were both still in shock. I loved her Cath and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I still do love her. She'll always have a special place in my heart. But she's my past Catherine. YOU are my present and I hope and pray that YOU will be my future"

"I love you Steven McGarrett. Go to her. Talk to her and do what you need to do to get closure. I love you, I trust you and I will be here for you when you get back"  
Placing his thumb and forefinger on her chin he again kissed her, but this time it was soft and tender. He then said simply, "Thank you"  
Catherine took his hand and following her, they moved up the stairs and into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

********* Much more come, thanks for all the reads but I haven't gotten much feedback on the last few chapters? I hope you're still enjoying and I promise the next couple chapters will pick up in intensity **********


	50. Chapter 50

*********** Please be forewarned as THIS CHAPTER BEGINS WITH A SEXUAL SCENCE ***********

******** WARNING ****** this chapter includes the death of a character (NOT CORE 4) *********

**50505050505050505050505050**

They made love slowly, as Catherine was still very worried about his injured ribs. It was beautiful, as their hands and mouths explored each other's bodies softly, tenderly. Steve had never felt love like this before and the sensations overwhelmed him.

The feel of Cath, as his lips, tongue and hands moved from her mouth to the bruised flesh of her neck. He then moved to her breasts and eventually down to the warm, welcoming spot between her legs.  
The taste and smell of their lovemaking, mixed with the aromas of their sweat-drenched bodies.  
The sights of Cath, her eyes staring deeply into his soul. He admired her beautiful body. Her perfect breasts, the curves of her toned and sculpted midsection, and the soft, moist womanhood ready to envelope him.  
The sounds of Cath, as she moaned lustfully, pleading with Steve to enter her. And when he finally surrendered to both their desires they moaned in ecstasy, moving together, ultimately leading to them climaxing together and falling back onto the bed in total exhaustion.

Steve was gasping for air, saying breathlessly over and over again "Cath…oh God Cath…..oh my God"  
Worried, she helped roll him off of her, "Steve, Steve are you okay?"  
"What? Yes, yes. My God Cath….that was unbelievable…I love you baby"  
She leaned over and kissed his lips tenderly, "Yes it was….…..it always is. I love you with all my heart Steve"  
As tears slipped from her eyes he pushed himself up onto his elbows. He touched her bruised cheek, saying softly "Baby, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing is wrong Steve, nothing" She paused before adding, "You risked your life for Danny's brother. Why?"  
"Why? Cath…..I had no choice. Danny's my brother and his family is my family. I would do the same thing again without hesitation. I would do the same for you, for Chin or Kono… you know that"

She kissed him again, "Yes, I know that. You are such a special man Steve"  
"No I'm not special. I'm just a man…..a weak man"  
"You are not weak Steve. You are the bravest, strongest man I've ever known and I'm so proud of you. I haven't told you that, and I'm sorry"  
"You have nothing to be sorry for. You and Danny….your love for me. You've given me the strength to fight this, thank you"  
Cath smiled,"I've told you before, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you….always"

Their attention turned to the ringing cell phone on the nightstand and looking at each other they said in unison "Danny"  
Giggling, Cath grabbed the phone and handed it to Steve whose facial expression suddenly turned serious "Governor"  
Catherine watched Steve intently, listening to their short conversation, "He's not here right now Governor, what's the problem?... Yeah, okay I'll see you in a few minutes"

As he hung up Catherine asked, "Is something wrong?"  
"I'm not sure. He wants to talk to me without Danny here. He's on his way over"  
The two quickly dressed and headed downstairs.

**50505050505050505050505050 **

Steve had a gut feeling that something was wrong and when Governor Denning arrived a short time later, the look on his faced told Steve that his worst fears were soon to be confirmed.  
"Come in Governor"  
He entered the living room and shook hands with both Steve and Catherine before saying, "Steve, have a seat"  
"No Governor, I'm fine…just tell me…"  
Sam Denning sighed deeply before saying bluntly, "Matthew Willliams is dead"  
Steve turned his back on the Governor and placing his arms out in front of him he leaned against a cabinet, bowing his head, "How Sam? How in the hell did this happen?"

Catherine moved to his side and taking hold of his arm she said softly, "Come on Steve, come sit down"  
He followed as she guided him to the couch. He was shaking with fear and anger as the Governor continued, "The car transporting Matt and three WitSec agents to the airport was ambushed soon after it left the hospital. All four men in the car were struck with multiple bullets and declared dead at the scene"

"Three agents? Three fucking agents Sam! This is the Ocinco/Corboda cartel for Gods' sake and they had only THREE agents protecting him!"  
"Steve I don't have all the details yet but there were two squad cars with four Washington troopers escorting them. One of the troopers in the lead car survived the ambush as did the two in the trailing car"

"What about the hitters?"  
"There were three of them. They all got away but witnesses say one was hit. Police are scouring the hospitals searching for him. Steve, there's something you need to know. When the police processed the crime scene where you were held….they never found the money. The 500k is gone"

"The money…God I forgot all about the money. I was so concerned about getting Matt out of there…..Governor, this was an inside job"  
"We don't know that Steve. There could have been other cartel members involved that you never saw"  
"No, no way…no way. Sebastian Cordoba would not have let that amount of cash out of his sight. Governor, I need you to let my team run this investigation"

"McGarrett, your team is on leave"  
"Not anymore we aren't Sir"  
"You're not in any condition to be back on the job Steve, it's too soon"  
Catherine reached over and took hold of Steve's hand squeezing it tightly as he responded, "Okay, I'm not but the others are fine. Put Danny in charge"  
"Of his own brother's murder investigation? Are you crazy?"  
"Danny's a professional. I'll work with him as a consultant, unpaid if you need me to be. Sam, please….don't give this case to anyone else"

Sam Denning turned away and sighed deeply. Turning back to face Steve he pointed a finger at him stating, "This has to be by-the-book McGarrett. No shortcuts and you keep Williams clean, no vengeance….you hear me"

"Yes Sir. I hear you loud and clear"  
"The CIA is running the official investigation. You and your team are on medical leave for the next four weeks. What you choose to do with your time off is none of my business"

Steve stood and shook the man's hand, "Thank you Sir"  
As Governor Denning left the house he said "Please give Danny my condolences and McGarrett, remember….no vengeance"  
"Yes Sir"

After Denning left, Steve and Cath embraced and cried for Matthew and for Danny.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve called Chin and Kono, asking them to come over right away. Once they arrived, he filled them in on everything and then he called Danny requesting that he return.

When Danny arrived he was pleasantly surprised to see everyone there. "Hey guys, I didn't expect to see you this morning"  
Chin looked to him, "Good Morning Danny. Steve needs to talk to you. He's out on the deck"  
Giving a look of confusion he said, "Uhhmmm okay" and moving through the kitchen, he went outside to join Steve.  
Danny pulled a chair over and sat down facing his partner.  
"Steve…..what's wrong?"  
Danny saw the pain in Steve's eyes as the SEAL struggled to compose himself, "Danny…"  
As Steve hesitated Danny asked again, "Steve please…..just say it man"  
Steve looked his friend squarely in the eyes, "Danny…I'm sorry…Matty's dead"  
The breath was instantly sucked from the Jersey detective's lungs as the words sunk in…Matty, his Matty…dead?

Steve watched as the blood drained from Danny's face. He reached out and placed a hand on Danny's forearm, "I'm so sorry buddy"  
"Matty…how Steve?"  
Steve relayed the information that Governor Denning had given them as Danny remained silent, listening intently as tears of sorrow streaked his cheeks.

Steve told him everything and then let him know that Kono had already booked their flight to Washington for later that day.  
"Danny, we're going to find who did this and make them pay. I promise you, we will"  
The men sat silently for several minutes before Danny spoke softly, "More than three years ago when Matt boarded that plane, it was like he died. I never thought I'd see him again. Then last year when he returned and you saved his life…even though he had to go into witness protection…..he was back in my life, you gave him back to me. Steve, oh God when I saw him in that hospital in Washington….it felt so damn good. To see him, to talk to him….to hug him…..you gave him back to me again. He made some horrible mistakes in his life buddy but I loved him…God knows, I loved him"

"I know Danny…..I'm so sorry"  
Following Danny's lead, the men stood and embraced. Danny sobbed into his friends shoulder, mourning the loss of his beloved little brother.

********** I hope I haven't angered any readers. I had three different endings floating in my head for this story and I literally made the decision to go this way with it at the last minute. I hope you'll give it a chance and hope you like how it plays out - feedback welcomed ! ***********


	51. Chapter 51

****** To ALL who read, Thank You – to ALL who read and take the time to review, Thank You, Thank You! Reviews are great encouragement to any writer, whether they are good, constructive (or both!) This story keeps going and going in my head so I hope you'll continue to let me know what you think ! ******

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny was obviously in shock and was simply going through the motions. The others all hugged him and offered their condolences and then Chin and Kono left to go pack their bags. Steve sat with Danny out on the deck as he placed the very difficult calls to his parents and sisters, Tracey, Melissa and Sarah.

As he hung up the final time, his hands were shaking. Steve asked, "Would you like a beer?"  
Danny chuckled, "It's not even noon Steven?"  
"Is that a law I didn't know about? No drinking allowed before noon?"  
"I sure in the hell hope not, or I broke that law hundreds of times during my college days. Yeah, sure…..I'd like one"  
Steve went inside and returned handing him an opened beer.  
Danny nodded, "Thanks babe. God that was hard"  
"I wish I could help partner"  
"You are helping Steve…..you're here"  
"We're all here for you Danny"  
"I need to call Rachel"  
"I'll be in house, come on in when you're done"  
"Yeah…..thanks"  
As Steve entered the house, Danny set his beer onto the table and dialed Rachel.

"Danny, good morning!"  
"Good morning Rach"  
"Gracie wanted me to check with you to find out when she can visit again. Is Steve doing any better?"  
"He's had some depression, but he's hanging in there. Rachel…I just got some bad news"  
"Danny, what is it?"  
"It's Matty. Rachel…..he's dead…..he was killed in Washington this morning"  
"Oh no….oh God Danny, no"  
Danny explained everything he knew and that the 5-0 team would be leaving for Washington in a few hours.  
"I don't have all the details yet, but I'll be taking Matt back home"  
"The kids and I will meet you in New Jersey"  
"You don't have to do that honey"  
"Of course we do Daniel. Gracie and I love Matthew…..he's our family. Of course we'll be there"  
"Thank you….." Danny's voice shook with emotion as he continued, "I'll let Dad know you're all coming. Give him a call when you have your flight arrangements so they can pick you up"

"I will. Will you have time to see us before your flight leaves?"  
"We can stop on our way to the airport, but we'll have just a few minutes. We'll be there about three-thirty"  
"Danny, I'll run up to the school now and pull Gracie out for the day. I'll tell her everything"  
"Rachel wait, she's been through too much lately. We need to tell her together. I'll go get my bags packed now and I can be at your place within the hour. I can stay with you and have Steve pick me up on the way to the airport"

"I love you and I'm so sorry baby""  
"I love you too Rachel. See you soon, bye"  
Danny hung up the phone and moving to the edge of the deck, he placed his elbows on the railing and leaning forward he buried his face into his hands and sobbed.

Behind him, Steve stood at the patio window watching his friend. Catherine entered the room and moving behind him, she slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, "Are you okay Steve?"  
"He's been my rock through this Cath…now it's my turn to be there for him"

"And you will be, you always are. I'm coming with you honey, to Washington, to New Jersey…..wherever you're going. I'm coming along, I have a week left on my leave"  
He responded, "Thank you" as he continued to look out at Danny, wishing he could take his friends' pain away but knowing he couldn't. He'd been there before and he knew that all he could do for Danny, was to be there….to support him and love him. And he would do that.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Danny cried for his brother. His mind took him back to the care-free days of their childhood. He remembered their games of Cowboys and Indians, and cops and robbers. He chuckled as he could see Matty so clearly in his mind complaining about always having to be the Indian and the robber. It was the same argument every time, _'Why can't I be the good guy D'?'_  
He would always answer the same way, _'You're lucky I'm playing with you at all squirt! You're the robber or nothing'_ and with that, the little boy would play his role to perfection. He remembered the many times he rescued little Matty, pulling him from the clutches of their three sisters who had forced him into a game of dress-up or Doctor. He remembered the summer that he and Tracey had taught Matt and Sarah how to swim on their family vacation to the shore. He had taught Matty to throw a baseball and how to hit his 'fastball' and some of his favorite memories were of Dad taking the two boys to Yankee Stadium every year.

He remembered how he had caught twelve year old Matty spying on him as he was behind the garage making out with his girlfriend Tessa Horne. He had to bribe the youngster to secrecy because Danny was certain if his Mother ever found out she would ban him from seeing Tessa, and at fifteen, Danny was CERTAIN that he was going to marry that girl. He had written Matthew's book reports for the rest of the school year to keep him quiet. As mad as Danny was at the time though, that had led to the event that truly bonded the brothers forever. Two years later, as fate would have it, the roles were reversed. Coming home late from a party one night Danny walked in on fourteen year old Matt cuddled up under blankets on the couch in the basement with his girl, Wendy…..and they weren't paying much attention to the movie they were supposed to be watching. Danny had told Matt to walk Wendy home and to come right back, which he did. Danny was sitting on the couch waiting for him when he returned and the young boy was terrified.  
_'Danny, please don't tell Mom and Dad…..I'm sorry man'  
'Matty I'm not going to tell Mom and Dad, but you're going to listen to me'_  
Danny then gave the boy a lecture on respecting young ladies and also on protecting himself from the consequences of sexual promiscuity. Matty had rolled his eyes at his big brother's 'words of wisdom' but he had taken his last words to heart, _'Matthew David Williams if I ever catch you disrespecting a young lady like that again, not only will I tell Mom and Dad but it will be after I beat the living crap out of you, do you hear me?'_ Years later Matty would tell him that he hadn't even kissed another girl until he was seventeen! But the fact that Danny hadn't squealed on him had changed their relationship forever. Matty knew that Danny had his back, and always would.

Or had he known that? Danny thought he did, but he sure hadn't trusted him when he got in trouble three years ago. If Matty had listened to him then and gone back to Jersey instead of boarding that plane he would have been in jail, but his sentence might have been half over by now….and he would still be alive. Why hadn't he stopped him? If he had stopped him and not let him get on that plane, Matty would still be alive. God, this was his fault…Matty was dead because of him. His tears continued to fall and he didn't notice that Steve had come outside and was standing next to him.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve placed a hand on Danny's shoulder, "Hey, how are you doing?"  
"I can't believe it Steve…it seems unreal"  
"Yeah it does. So you talked to Rachel?"  
"Shit, I've been here daydreaming and I've lost track of time. I've got to get moving"  
Steve grabbed his arm as he pushed past him. "Danny whoa, slow down…"  
"Sorry, Rachel's picking up Gracie from school and I told her I'd meet them at the house. I have to get to my place and get my bags packed first. Hey, will you pick me up on the way to the airport?"

Steve put both hands on Danny's forearms, "Danny, Danny calm down. You can go straight to Rachel's. I've got plenty of time to go pack your bags" Steve felt Danny's body shake in his grasp, "Relax partner, I can't let you leave until you calm down"

"Steve…..oh God why?"  
Steve pulled him into an embrace, saying quietly "I don't know why Danno…..I don't know why" Steve held him tightly, "It'll be okay buddy…..let it all out….it'll be okay"

For several minutes Danny cried. "Oh God…..why? Not Matty….not my Matty" Eventually Danny pulled away and wiping the tears from his eyes he said softly, "I'm sorry Steve. I've gotta get a grip on myself…..I need to tell Gracie"

"Do you want me to come with you?"  
"No….no, I've got to do this. I'm alright…..really. Steve, what about you? Are you okay?"  
"Me? I'm good. You got me through the worst of it partner. I'm good now. I don't want you to worry about me, not for minute okay?"  
"You're sure? You don't need to go back there. I can handle this"  
"You're not going through this alone buddy. I'm with you every step of the way"  
"Thanks Superman"

The two men walked into the house and were greeted by Catherine who moved in to embrace Danny. He whispered into her ear, "Take care of him Cath"  
She kissed his cheek and responded quietly, "I will"  
Steve grabbed Danny's car keys from the counter and handing them to him, the three all walked out to the car.  
As he sat behind the wheel he asked Steve, "You sure you got time babe?"  
"Yes Danny, I'll get your things and we'll pick you up about three thirty. You drive careful"  
"I will…thank you"

******* Much more to follow – I hope you're enjoying ********


	52. Chapter 52

As Danny drove to Rachel's, his mind was a blur.  
His brother was dead and it was his fault.  
His partner was battling addiction and physical injuries brought on because of his dedication to HIM, which prompted Steve to go off alone to save HIS brother.

He needed to keep his head clear. First things first, he had to take care of Matty. He had to get his brother home and he had to take care of his parent and sisters. He had to take care of Rachel, Gracie and Charlie. And he couldn't forget Steve. His partner was still struggling, he was weak and he was depressed. He had gotten Steve to this point and he couldn't let him slip back now. He knew he was going to have to rely on Chin and Kono more, at least until Matty was home…and buried.

He dialed Chin, "Danny? Are you okay brah? Where are you?"  
"Chin…..I'm on my way to Rachel's. We have to tell Gracie what happened. Catherine is with Steve"  
"Okay man. What do you need me to do?"  
"Chin….I need you to watch over Steve for me"  
"Danny, we've got Steve. You don't worry about him okay. Kono and I are here for both of you brother. I just picked Kono up and we're on our way back to his place now. I talked to Steve and I'll take him to your place to get your things together. We'll see you about three thirty"

"Good, thank you Chin"  
"Of course brah, don't worry about him and you call me if you need anything"  
Danny's voice choked with emotion as he responded, "Okay…..will do"

Kono looked at Chin, "Is he okay?"  
"Danny's worried about Steve and Steve's worried about Danny…we need to stay strong for them Kono"  
"We'll take care of them Chin, both of them. And we'll find out who did this"  
"Yes we will cous'"

**5050505050505050505050505050505050**

The detective's arrived at the McGarrett home to find Steve and Catherine in the living room with his bags.  
Kono asked, "How are you doing?"  
"I'm ready, bags are packed"  
"Steve, how are you feeling?"  
He smiled at his two friends, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. It's time to take care of Danny"  
Picking up his bags, he kissed Kono's cheek as he passed her exiting the house with Chin following him.  
Catherine looked at young Asian woman, "Kono, he's okay. I'm watching him closely"  
"His depression Cath…"  
"Kono there are things we can't control. None of us expected this and all we can do now is be there for both of them. I know this might sound bad….but worrying about Danny may actually help Steve's recovery"

Kono added, "Yes, I suppose it will keep his mind off his own problems, won't it"  
Catherine embraced her, "Come on, we've got a lot to do"  
The men were closing the back of the truck as they walked outside. Steve called out, "Are we all locked up Cath?"  
Handing him his jacket she responded, "Yes dear"  
Steve looked at Kono, "Cath has to go pack her things while Chin and I go to Danny's. Would you mind stopping by the office and getting everything together that we're going to need?"

"Sure thing boss"  
Steve answered back, "Thanks, we'll pick you both up about three and then we'll get Danny. Hey, everybody…..thank you"  
Catherine reached up and kissed him, "See you in a little bit"  
They all took off in their separate directions to prepare for their departure.

**5050505050505050505050505050505050**

Danny entered Rachel's house calling out "Gracie are you here?"  
He heard her bedroom door slam shut and the little girl came bounding down the stairs screeching, "DANNO, DANNO! What are you doing here?"  
Seconds later she was in his arms. He held her tightly and moments later she said, "Oh Danno, you're squeezing too tight!"  
He loosened his grip and looked into her eyes, "I'm sorry baby"  
She placed her fingers on his face, "You look sad Daddy"  
Rachel had come in from the kitchen and was standing next to him. She kissed his cheek and said softly, "Let's go into the living room"

They sat on the couch with Gracie sitting on Danny's lap. He inquired, "Where's Charlie?"  
"He's sleeping"  
Gracie then asked, "Is Uncle Steve okay Danno?"  
"Yes Monkey, Uncle Steve is fine"  
"Can I go visit him?"  
"You'll see him soon baby. Gracie….do you remember the reason why Uncle Matty had to go away and hide?"  
"Uh…..huh….because bad guys wanted to hurt him"  
"That's right"  
The little girl added, "And Uncle Steve went to help him because the bad guys found him and then they hurt both Uncle Matty and Uncle Steve but Uncle Steve got all the bad guys"

"Yes he did Monkey…... but more bad guys came that we didn't know about. Today the officers were taking Matty from the hospital to the airport. They were going to fly him to a new hiding place, but he bad guys found them"

"Is Uncle Matty okay Daddy?"  
Tears welled in his eyes as he said emotionally, "No Gracie…..Uncle Matty is dead"  
Gracie didn't say anything, she simply flung her tiny arms around his neck, nestling her head into his shoulder. Rachel moved from the couch and came over to embrace them both. They heard the child's soft sobs and Danny's neck was dampened with her tears. They sat like this for a long time as they all cried for Matthew.

Eventually Gracie sat up in her Daddy's lap, saying "I loved Uncle Matty Daddy"  
"I know baby, we all did"  
"Danno…..I thought you and Uncle Steve always get the bad guys?"  
"We always try to Gracie. Do you remember I told you that these bad guys had a lot of drugs right?"  
"Yes…I remember, and they put drugs into Uncle Steve's body making him sick"  
"That's right. I'm going to try to explain this to you baby and if you get confused ask me questions okay?"  
"Okay"  
"Bad guys who mess with drugs are with groups that are called cartels. These cartels can have ten bad guys, twenty bad guys or sometimes many more"  
"Like a hundred?"  
"Yes, sometimes. Because of this the good guys, me and Steve, Chin and Kono and all the other officers out there, try our best to get all the bad guys but sometimes we can't get them all at once. Do you understand?"  
"Yes"

Rachel was now kneeling in front of them. With one hand holding Danny's she stroked her daughter's arm with her other hand.  
She spoke gently, "Gracie, Daddy is going to catch a plane in a couple of hours to fly to where Matty is. You, Charlie and I are going to leave in a couple of days to fly to New Jersey. We'll stay with Grandma and Grandpa Williams"  
The little girl sat upright and in a panicked voice she stated, "Are the bad guys still there Danno?"

"Hey, hey baby girl…..look at me" Danny placed his hands on his daughter's face, "You know that Daddy's job is dangerous. But you also know that I'm really, really careful and I'm really, really good at what I do right?"  
She whimpered, "Yes"  
"And you know that Auntie Kono and Uncle Chin are really good cops and then we've got SuperSEAL watching out for all of us!"  
The little girl smiled as she responded quietly, "Yes….I know Daddy…but I'm scared"  
"I know Monkey, but you shouldn't be. We can't live being scared all the time. We have to believe that God will watch over us"  
"But why did God let Matty die?"  
Rachel answered, "We can't answer that…..we just have to trust him. We have to be thankful for the time we had Matthew and we have to believe that Matthew is now in heaven"

Danny kissed Gracie's forehead, "I love you Monkey"  
"I love you too Daddy….I love you Mommy"

They chatted for almost an hour, answering Gracie's questions as honestly as they could. It broke Danny's heart to watch his daughter loose her innocence. No child should have to learn of the depravities of man at such a young age. He was a cop though, he had made that choice and he honestly couldn't even imagine doing anything else.

He couldn't help it as his mind drifted to Steve's words spoken just yesterday, _'Joe t__old me that's why he had never had children. The thought of dying didn't scare him, but the thought of leaving behind a wife and children terrified him. Children needed their fathers'_

He had told Steve how wrong he was to believe those words, but now looking at his daughter and seeing the pain, fear and confusion in the little girl's eyes he wasn't so sure. How selfish was he to put his career and desires in front of the security and well-being of his daughter….and now possibly his son? He had a lot to think about but for now he had to take care of getting Matty home and buried…then he had to find the animals who took his life….there was no other option for him regarding this.

Once Gracie was calm enough Rachel and Danny went upstairs to check on Charlie.  
They stood in the entryway of the toddlers bedroom watching him sleep.  
Rachel looked at the man she loved, "Danny, you handled that very well"  
"God Rach, she shouldn't have to know these things" His voice cracked with raw emotion and she pulled him into an embrace.  
She felt his body shake in her arms as he cried softly. She spoke softly into his ear, "It's okay baby, I'm here for you"  
Moments later they parted and he said, "I called Dad back so just left him know when your flight's due in. I haven't told him about us yet Rach...but I will"  
She smiled "Okay, I'll call him"  
Danny pulled a credit card from his billfold, "Use this for the tickets and your expenses"  
"Alright, thank you"  
They heard Gracie call from the bottom of the stairs, "Danno! Uncle Steve is here!"

Minutes later the entire Ohana was in Rachel's driveway sharing hug and kisses.  
As the team was getting into the cars Danny scooped Gracie into his arms for a final hug. "You help Mommy with Charlie and I'll see you at Grandma and Grandpa's okay?"  
"I will Danno…..I love you"  
"I love you too Monkey"

With a final kiss for his baby girl, Danny jumped into Steve's truck and the 5-0 family took off towards the airport.

********* MUCH MORE TO COME *********


	53. Chapter 53

Chin and Kono followed Steve's truck to the airport.  
Catherine was sitting between the two men as Danny asked, "Are you sure you should be driving Steve?"  
"I'm fine Danno, don't worry"  
"Did you remember to grab me clothes for the funeral?"  
"Yeah, black suit, grey shirt"  
"A tie? You didn't forget my tie?"  
Steve glanced over at his partner, raising his eyebrows, "As much as you love your ties, how could you even think I would forget it? Yes, Daniel…I brought your favorite black tie, the one Gracie bought you. And before you ask, I didn't forget your shoes either"

Danny grinned, "Thanks babe…sorry. I've got so much on my mind"  
"I know. The Governor called me while I was at your place, he's sending a cargo plane and pilot from his personal fleet to Washington tomorrow to transport Matthew and us to Jersey"

"Wow…I didn't expect that. When you get right down to it, Matty was a criminal"  
"Matt atoned for his wrong doing by testifying against Felipe Ocinco. Do you think that living in witness protection wasn't punishment for him? It's a horribly lonely life Danny"

"I know that Steve. The last time we talked he basically said that. He had taken responsibility for how his life turned out and he had regrets. His biggest regrets were losing contact with his family….and what had happened to you" Steve glanced at Danny who was staring straight ahead, a tear sliding down his cheek. Catherine took hold of his hand as he continued, "He wanted to talk to you, to apologize for putting your life in danger…again. Matty was a tender soul, he always had been. He was amazed by your strength and courage" Danny chuckled, "I don't think I ever told you this but when I took Gracie to his hotel room when he first arrived in Hawaii the conversation turned to you"

Steve interrupted, "Oh yeah…how did that happen?"  
Danny glanced at him, "That's a story for another day babe. Anyway, Gracie called you SuperSEAL and he thought that was just hilarious. He couldn't stop laughing and Gracie got mad at him, really mad…..she scolded him, telling him not to laugh and that her SuperSEAL was 'the greatest man in the world'. The only way he could calm her down was by putting on a little princess tiara he had bought her and he danced around the room waving a magic wand and singing a silly little song he made up on the fly about SuperSEAL Steve to the tune of Puff The Magic Dragon. Then after you saved him from Ocinco's men a year later, he told me that the title was truly fitting"

Steve said quietly, "Why didn't you ever tell me this?"  
"Well, I really didn't think your ego needed another boost"  
Catherine laughed as she added, "I can understand that"  
Steve smiled, "Hey you two! How about a little respect for SuperSEAL huh?"  
As Steve broke out singing Aretha Franklin's R.E.S.P.E.C.T (very badly), they all laughed for a few minutes and it felt good….so good.

**50505050505050505050505050**

With the time zone change they arrived at their hotel in Washington a little after seven that evening. Steve had made arrangements with the State Medical Examiner for Danny to meet with the coroner at eight o'clock to make a positive ID of Matthew. They decided that the men would go to the coroner's office while Kono and Catherine set up their make shift office in her room. They were scheduled to meet with the Police Chief the next morning.

Danny was very pale and he was shaking as entered the morgue and the coroner led them to the body. Danny slowly approached the stainless steel table and the body, which was covered with a plain white sheet. Chin stood at the foot of the table and the coroner was on the right hand side of the table.  
Danny stood across from the coroner, his hands scrunched into his pockets, the tension in his body evident. Steve stood next to his friend, his eyes never leaving him. Danny nodded to the coroner and the man pulled back the sheet exposing the dead man's face.

Danny knew what to expect, he had seen many dead bodies over the years but nothing could have prepared him for sight of his brother's lifeless body. His knees buckled underneath him and if Steve hadn't been there to grab hold of him, he would have collapsed to the ground. Danny said softly, "Yes…it's Matthew" The coroner began to pull the sheet up and Danny held out his hand, "Can you wait a minute….."  
The coroner said, "Certainly. Take your time, I'll be right outside"

Steve stood supporting Danny as he stood silently for several minutes looking at Matty lying naked on the cold table. The sheet was pulled down past his chest leaving four bullet wounds visible. He had been hit twice in the center of the chest and once in the upper left arm. Danny took his right hand and with his fingers he tenderly traced circles around the forth wound, a shot that had entered and shattered his left cheekbone. The bullet had left a gaping exit wound on the right side of his jaw.  
After a few minutes Danny asked, "Guys, can you give me a few minutes alone with him please?"  
Steve squeezed his shoulder firmly, "Sure, we'll be in the hallway buddy"

As his friends left the room, Danny's hand lingered on his brother's face and tears welled in his eyes. "Matty, why babe? God I loved you so much…..why didn't you listen to me brother? I was there for you, I was always there…" He couldn't talk anymore, the lump in his throat huge. He stood staring at his brother for the next twenty minutes before leaning over and kissing his forehead. His voice was choked with emotion, "Good bye brother, I love you" He then pulled the sheet over this brother's face and without looking back he left the room.

He stepped into the hallway and shook hands with the coroner, "Thank you" He looked at Steve and Chin with dampened eyes filled with pain, "I've got to get out of here"  
As he turned to walk away Steve and Chin shook hands with the coroner thanking him and then they quickly caught up with the Jersey detective in the parking lot. He was standing near their rented SUV bent over, his hands on his knees, gasping for air. Steve stood next to him, rubbing his back soothingly in small circular motions. No words were spoken and after several minutes Danny stood upright and turned to Steve asking, "How many times was he hit?"

Steve responded softly, "Eight…..three to the abdomen and one to the hip. The coroner said he died instantly, both of the chest wounds pierced his heart. Danny….he didn't suffer"  
Danny shook his head and wiped the tears from his eyes.  
Following Danny's lead, Steve reached out and pulled him into an embrace, "I'm so sorry D".  
Chin called Kono to let them know that they would be back shortly and soon the three men pulled onto the road unaware of the danger they would soon face.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Chin was driving, and Danny was in the passenger seat with Steve behind him. They were only moments from the morgue when it happened. None of them saw the truck that hit them. It came from a side road and with no lights on it barreled into the passenger side of the SUV. The force of the impact was so great that the SUV flipped twice before landing upright forty feet away.  
Chin hollered, "Are you guys alright?"  
Danny responded as he coughed, "Yeah, Steve?"  
Both men turned their heads as Steve screamed, "GUN!"  
The word had no sooner left Steve's mouth as gunfire erupted, filling the dark, quiet night.

Steve's shots blew out the window and one of the approaching gunmen fell to the ground as he was struck.  
Chin had exited the vehicle and was firing over the hood of the SUV at the second gunman who had taken cover behind an opened car door. The man was firing an AK47 at the SUV. Danny staggered across the front seat diving through the open drivers door as glass shattered around him and bullets flew. Danny hit the dirt and rolled towards the back door as Chin continued to fire. Reaching up, Danny opened the back door hollering "STEVE, STEVE!" The back doors were riddled with bullet holes and Steve was lying on the floor unconscious. Grabbing Steve's shoulder's Danny pulled him out onto the ground and then moving to the back of the vehicle he had a clear shot at the attacker and without hesitating, Danny ended this by putting a bullet into the man's head.

Before the attacker even hit the ground Danny had raced back to his partner "STEVE, Oh God NO!"  
Chin glanced at his friends and then he moved towards the fallen attackers.

********* MORE TO FOLLOW – hope you're enjoying – feedback is always appreciated ! **********


	54. Chapter 54

Chin confirmed that attacker number two was dead and then he moved to the other man who was lying in an expanding pool of blood. Kicking his gun away he rolled the man onto his back and kneeling down he grabbed the dying man by the shirt collar pulling his head off the ground.  
The detective spoke angrily, "You're dying….it's over! You've got time to redeem yourself. Do the right thing, tell me who sent you!"  
The man's lips moved as blood spilled from his mouth. He spoke so softly that Chin could not hear him. Chin pulled him closer to his ear, "What? Who sent you?"  
With his dying breath the man said a word that sent a chill down Chin's spine, "Cccop"  
'Cop', what in the hell? Laying the now dead man back onto the pavement, Chin raced back to Danny and Steve.

Steve was lying with his head in Danny's lap. Danny had taken his shirt off and he was holding it firmly against the side of Steve's head. Looking at the blood-soaked shirt Chin gasped, "Oh my God"  
Danny looked up and to Chin's relief he heard a familiar voice, Steve's saying "Shit Danno, that hurts. Take it easy!"  
"So... what? You want me to let you bleed to death here? Knock it off partner and cooperate"  
Chin sighed deeply and knelt down, "Where is he hit?"  
"It bounced off this thick skull of his"  
Chin grinned, "Are you hurt anywhere else Steve?"  
"My shoulder…..it's dislocated…...otherwise, I'm good"  
"Danny, you okay?"  
"Yeah…..you?"  
Chin responded, "I'm fine. They're both dead. Guys we've got to get the hell out of here. Before one of them died…I asked who sent him them"

Danny helped Steve sit and keeping the shirt to his head the SEAL spoke, "Who?"  
"He said one word, 'cop'"  
Danny had moved to his knees and he held a hand to Steve's shoulder, "Shit…..they aren't only after Matty"  
Steve looked at Chin, "Chin, check their truck for anything that could help us, take pictures of their ID's and take their fingerprints…..hurry"

As Chin raced away, Steve looked to Danny, "Can you help me up?"  
Danny stood and then as Steve held his injured left arm tightly against his body, Danny pulled him to his feet. Steve staggered and Danny held him, steadying him. Steve's right hand had dropped to his side and the wound was bleeding freely.  
Danny grabbed Steve's hand pulling it up, "Hold that shirt up there babe. Are you dizzy?"  
"A little bit. Just get me into the car"  
"Let me set that shoulder first partner"  
Danny closed the door and he leaned Steve up against the car. The injured man's pain was obvious. His teeth were clenched tightly and his breathing came in short, pained gasps.

Danny held his hands against Steve's chest, "You ready?"  
"Yeah….just do it"  
Danny moved quickly and he efficiently pushed the shoulder back against the SUV while yanking the arm downward pulling it back into its socket. Steve screamed in anguished, "OH SHIT!" dropping the shirt to the ground as he grabbed the shoulder.  
Danny held Steve's arms, "Okay, its' done babe….relax"  
Steve's eyes were closed and he leaned his head back sighing deeply, "I'm good…I'm good….I'm good"  
"Just take a minute" Danny slipped his t-shirt over his head and folding it he placed it against the head wound. "Here hold this now and DON'T drop it, I'm out of shirts"

Steve grinned, "K' sorry…."  
"Okay you big goof, let's get you into the car"  
Picking up his blood soaked shirt from the ground Danny used it to wipe the glass from the seat and then he helped Steve into the SUV.  
"Steve, listen to me. You stay here and keep pressure on that head"  
"Yes Danno"

Danny then brushed the glass from the front seats and throwing the bloody shirt onto the floor he started the car.  
"Good, it's running. I'm going to go help Chin, DON'T MOVE Steven!"  
"I hear you, I hear you….hurry up, we've gotta go"  
Danny looked up, "Actually, Chin's coming"  
With the passenger side doors crushed inward and being unable to open, Danny crawled over the seat to sit with Steve while Chin jumped into the driver's seat, throwing some items onto the seat next to him.

Danny called out, "Get us out of here Chin!"  
"Hang on" Thankfully the SUV was drivable and as soon as they were back on the road Danny dialed Kono.

**505050505050505050505050505050**

"Yeah Danny"  
"Kono, we were hit. Are you two together?"  
"Yes….are you all okay?"  
"Steve's hurt" Kono heard the SEAL call out, "I'm fine Kono!"  
Danny added, "He'll live. Lock the door sweetheart, we'll be there shortly. And Kono, don't let ANYONE in, the local cops are involved in this somehow"  
"Okay Danny….…be safe"  
"You too"

Chin looked in the rear-view mirror, "Are you okay Steve?"  
"Yeah, did you find anything Chin?"  
"They appear to be just two local thugs, young punks. There was a notebook in the car…and pictures"  
Danny jumped in, "What kind of pictures?"  
Chin sighed "Pictures of you two"  
Danny responded, "Great…..just great"

Steve added, "Chin? We're not being followed are we?"  
"No, there's nobody else on the road"  
"Danny, call the girls back. If local cops are involved in this we can't stay there"  
"Yeah, the cops knew where we were staying"

Danny dialed Kono again, "Kono, I need you two to be ready to leave when we get there. We're going to check into different hotel…...yeah sure"  
He turned to Steve, "Catherine wants to talk to you"  
Steve began to move his injured arm and Danny stopped him, "Keep still, I'll hold the phone"  
Danny held the phone to Steve's ear, "Cath? I'm fine...A truck crashed into us and then the men came out shooting…a bullet grazed the side of my head, that's all….don't worry baby, I've got a think skull….no one else was hit, we're all just bumped up a bit. We'll be there shortly, just be ready to leave…I love you too baby, bye"

Hanging up the phone, Danny put his hand over Steve's and then pulled his partner's hand down, "I've got you, close your eyes and rest 'til we get there"  
Steve didn't argue. He hurt like hell. His head was throbbing, his shoulder was throbbing and his stomach pains from the withdrawal had been pretty intense since they had gotten off the plane.

Sighing deeply, Steve leaned his head back and tried to relax even though this head was spinning and the sensation of nausea was horrible. He must have actually dozed off and he woke as the SUV came to a stop at the side entry of the hotel.

**505050505050505050505050505050  
**  
As Chin went inside to get Kono, Catherine and their bags, Danny asked, "Are you awake partner?"  
"Yeah…..I'm kinda dizzy"  
Danny leaned across him and opened the car door so the dome light would come on. He then said, "Lean back, let me take a look at you"

Steve did as he was told and Danny pulled the second blood-soaked t-shirt from Steve's head. After taking a quick glance at the wound he pushed the shirt back onto it, "Ouch….."  
"Oh come on tough guy, it's not that bad! You've lost a lot of blood but it's slowed a lot. Here, keep pressing" Steve brought his hand back up to grab the shirt as Danny looked out the back window.

"You see something Danno?"  
"I don't know…..a car just drove by slowly" Crawling over Steve, Danny exited the car. He pointed a finger at Steve saying, "Don't move"  
Steve nodded, watching as Danny drew his gun from his waistband and moved swiftly to the back of the vehicle. They were parked next to a van and as Steve watched, Danny disappeared behind the van.

Moments later as Danny stood between two trucks a few feet from the SUV his attention was drawn to a noise behind him.  
Spinning around with gun drawn he stopped dead in his tracks as he faced his partner. His heart was pounding out of his chest, "Jesus Christ Steven! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Why are you out the car?"

Blood streaked down the SEAL's cheek and neck as he responded, "I thought you might need a hand partner. What do you see?"  
"You almost gave me a heart attack"  
"I'm sorry, now tell me…what do you see?""  
"Nothing. They might have just driven through the lot" Danny threw his hands into the air, "You're bleeding again! What's wrong with you huh? Why can't you follow simple instructions?"

"Danny, calm down…..I'm fine"  
"Well you look like hell. Come on let's get back to the car"  
Danny grabbed his arm and they began to walk towards the SUV. Suddenly Steve dropped to his knees and began vomiting.  
Danny knelt next to him, rubbing his back and talking to him softly "Relax…get it all out….relax"  
As Steve finished, his body was shaking. "Damn…..I'm sorry Danno"  
"You've got nothing to be sorry for…relax buddy"  
A few moments later, Steve pushed himself up onto his knees. He instantly grabbed at his injured left arm cradling it to his body.  
Danny helped him to his feet and keeping a hand around his waist to steady him they walked back to the SUV.

He got him back into the car just as the other approached. Holding the shirt back to his head he told Danny, "Go help them, I'm fine"  
Danny opened up the back of the SUV and as he and Chin loaded their bags Catherine and Kono went to check on Steve.  
Danny opened his bag grabbing a clean shirt and soon they were all in the SUV, ready to leave.

Kono and Cath had climbed in next to Steve and Cath was attempting to clean him up with a wet hotel towel.  
Danny was in the front passenger seat holding onto the evidence they had.  
As Chin was backing out Danny said, "Go to the right Chin and drive slow. Someone may have followed us"  
Not seeing any suspicious vehicles or anyone sitting in a car, they pulled out onto the road and drove away from the hotel.

********* Hope you're enjoying – more to follow…soon! **********


	55. Chapter 55

Kono asked, "Where are we going?"  
Chin responded, "We need to stay together. There's a small motel on the edge of town. I think we should check onto a room there. Then while Danny and Cath tend to Steve….Kono, you and I will bring this wreck back to the hotel and then we'll walk back. It's not too far and we'll draw too much attention to ourselves if we keep this car"

Danny stated, "That sounds good" He then looked to the back seat, "How's your stomach Steve?"  
"I'm good partner" He smiled slyly, "I've got a couple of good nurses here"  
"Well hopefully you'll listen to them better than you listen to me!"  
Catherine replied, "Commander, are you not being a good patient?"  
Steve grinned and looked at Catherine, "I don't know what he's talking about"  
They all laughed as Danny said, "You're such a stubborn ass McGarrett"  
Kono then added, "Chin we need to stop somewhere for medical supplies"  
"Okay, there's a pharmacy in that strip mall up ahead"  
Chin parked a good distance from the door and being she had the least amount of blood on her, Kono went inside to grab supplies and some water. In the car, they didn't want to draw attention to themselves so they kept the lights off and watched for any suspicious activity. A short time later they watched as Kono came out of the pharmacy but instead of heading straight towards the car she walked a few feet down and entered a Subway sandwich shop. Chin smiled, "That's my girl, I'm starving"

A short time later they pulled into an empty lot next to the Lincoln Motel. After cleaning her hands of Steve's blood, the others remained in the SUV and Catherine walked into the Motel's office alone carrying her bags.  
No one was at the front desk so she rang the bell. A short, portly middle-aged woman came from the back room.  
Catherine smiled at her, "Good evening Ma'am, do you have a room available?"  
"Got a dozen….how many would you like?"  
"Just one with two beds for my brother and I. He flies in tomorrow. How much are the rooms a night?"  
"Eighty-five a night"  
"That's fine. We'd like an end unit if possible, he's a very light sleeper"  
"I've got the very end unit, number 36. It's actually around the corner of the building. It's quiet, but there's no view….."  
Catherine smiled, "Sounds perfect. There are two beds in the room?"  
"Yup, two Queens. How long will you be staying?"  
"A few days. We're in town for a family reunion"  
"Sounds like fun" She handed over paperwork which Cath filled out as 'Carmen Menke', leaving the auto information blank. She then fumbled around in her purse as if searching for her ID.

"Oh my God…..I can't believe this!"  
"What's wrong dear?"  
Catherine was frantic, "My ID is gone. Oh my God, Oh my God! I must have left it at the airport when I checked in. Oh my God!"  
"Do you have a credit card or any other ID?"  
"No, I left my credit cards at home….." she chuckled nervously adding, "so I wouldn't lose them. I'm paying cash, is that okay?"

The lady smiled as she looked over the paperwork, "Of course Carmen. I'll just need to be paid in advance"  
"I'll pay for five days now"  
"That would be fine"  
After paying, Cath asked "Can I get a couple extra pillows"  
"There are extra pillows and blankets in the closet in the room"  
"Wonderful, thank you so much. I need to go call the airlines and track down my ID"  
"Good luck and let me know if you need anything. There are ice and vending machines as well as laundry facilities in the community room in the middle of the complex"

"Thank you Ma'am, you've been very kind"  
"Do you need help with your bags?"  
"No, I've got them…thank you"  
Catherine then left the office turning to see the woman retreat to the back room.  
She walked across the property towards the corner of the building. As she rounded the corner she motioned towards the room. The others all exited the SUV and moving quickly they grabbed all their belongings and making sure they were not being watched, they all entered the small room.

**505050505050505050505050505005050 **

Chin and Kono left immediately to get rid of the SUV.  
While Catherine took Steve into the bathroom to clean him up, Danny washed his partner's blood from his hands and arms in the sink outside the bathroom and then sitting at the table in the corner of the room he opened up the shooters' notebook.

There were numerous pictures of Steve and Danny, together and separately. He noted that all the pictures appeared to be recent, taken over the last two or three months. As he was looking at the pictures he heard the shower turn on and he could hear Steve and Catherine's muffled voices. The first page of the notebook had the address of the hospital along with a photo and information on Matty. He was turning the page as he heard Catherine's screams, "DANNY….DANNY HELP!" The lightweight wooden chair he was sitting on tipped over as he raced into the bathroom.

The scene before him, horrified him. Steve was in the midst of a full blown seizure. Catherine had stepped into the shower fully clothed and had Steve pinned up against the tiled wall of the stall. The steaming water was beating down on them and as Danny reached the tub, he shut the water off noticing the blood-tinged water swirling down the drain. Danny stepped into the tub behind Catherine. Steve's head was banging back against the wall and blood and vomit was coming from his mouth. His eyes had rolled back exposing only the whites and he was gagging.  
Danny slipped a hand behind Steve's head to protect it as he called out, "We have to get him onto his side Cath, he's choking. Go ahead and slide out, I've got him"

As Catherine released her grip on Steve's midsection he fell forward against Danny. Thankfully Danny had socks on or he would have slipped in the wet, slick tub. Catherine helped support Danny as he backed up out of the tub and in moments Cath was cradling his head in her lap as he lay on his side on the cold, tiled bathroom floor. Kneeling next to Cath, Danny grabbed Steve's face, prying his mouth open. He then placed two fingers into Steve's mouth pulling out blood and vomit, opening his airway. As he continued to seize, he gasped for air as Cath gently rubbed his cheek, "It's okay baby, we've got you….relax"  
Danny said softly, "He bit his tongue. That's where the bloods' coming from. Keep talking to him, I'll be right back"  
Danny moved from the room, quickly washing his hands in the sink outside the bathroom and wetting a couple of towels. He then went to the bed, pulling back the bedding. Continuing to move swiftly he grabbed a blanket from the closet, a bottle of water and the wet towels, returning to Steve's side in moments.

The seizure had stopped and Catherine was struggling to keep Steve still as he was attempting to push up from her lap.  
She was talking firmly, "Steve, lay still honey"  
Danny threw the blanket over his partner's wet, naked body. Setting the towels and water at his side, Danny grabbed the sides of Steve's face, "Steve, babe look at me…I need you to focus, look at me babe"  
Steve's voice shook as he spoke, "Dddanno…...….wwwhatt hha...aappen…ned?"  
"Relax…..you had a seizure partner. I need you to relax, slow down your breathing for me….close your eyes, ssshhhhh"  
"K'…'m ggood…'m good"  
Taking one of the wet towels, Danny dutifully wiped the blood and vomit from the injured man's face and cheek.  
Steve said quietly, "I'm ssoo ccold 'D…sso ddamn ccold"  
"Steve, I'm going to carry you to the bed okay?"  
Steve tried to push up, "I ccan walk….."  
Danny pushed him back down, "No, no you're going to listen to me now, and NO arguing"

Danny squatted down and scooped his partner into his arms. He looked down at the shaken woman on the floor, "Cath, I've got him. Go ahead and clean up"  
"Thank you Danny, I'll be right out"

**505050505050505050505050505005050**

Danny carried Steve effortlessly in his strong arms. He laid him onto the bed and tucked the blankets tightly around him.  
"Danny…'m ssoo tthirrsty"  
"Okay, don't move, I'll be right back"  
Moving just a few feet from the bed, his eyes never leaving Steve, Danny grabbed a towel another bottle of water. Glancing at the closed bathroom door he could hear Catherine sobbing softly behind it.

Returning to the bed he sat next to Steve. He folded the towel and placed it against Steve's head wound.  
"Nnneed watter D"  
"Yeah babe, I got ya" Opening the water he raised Steve's head so he could drink, "Now drink slow Steve….there you go"  
After several sips Danny asked, "Let me check out your mouth partner"  
Steve responded groggily, "Huh? What?"  
"You bit your tongue, just let me look" Steve cooperated by opening his mouth and showing his tongue. Danny checked it out and then said "It doesn't look too bad"

Steve was horribly pale and his body was shaking as Catherine emerged from the bathroom.  
Danny asked, "Cath, grab the medical supplies so we can take care of his head"  
Steve was mumbling, "I'm fine….'m ffine"  
"Of course you are Steven"  
Cath returned and handing Danny the supplies she sat on the edge of the bed taking hold of her lovers hand.  
His eyes opened and he looked up at her, "Hey baby"  
Catherine's lips quivered as she said, "Hey….you scared me"  
"I'm sorry…I'm fine, really….don't worry"  
"We need to get you to a hospital"  
Steve instantly became agitated, "NNOO…nnoo hospital….no hospital"  
Danny held Steve's shoulders firmly, "Steve stop. You've got to relax, stop"  
Steve's breathing increased as he kept repeating over and over again, "No hospital…..nno ddrugs Danno…..no ddruggs"

Steve was panicking. He knew if he was taken to the hospital he would be given drugs and he couldn't let that happen. He became more frantic, "Danno pplllease…nnno drugs…..ccan't…."  
"STEVE, NO ONE'S GOING TO GIVE YOU DRUGS! I swear babe, I won't let anyone give you anything…..I promise"  
The SEAL's eyes closed in exhaustion as he mumbled, "No ddrugs D…..no drugs"  
"Sleep Steve…ssshhhhhhh, relax"  
In moments Steve was sleeping and Catherine looked to Danny, "I'm so sorry I upset him"  
"Catherine, he'll be alright. Don't worry"  
"Danny the seizure"  
"Let's get his head bandaged and then I'll call Dr. Kam"  
They worked together cleaning and bandaging Steve and then as Catherine lay at his side running her hand through his hair, Danny went to the side of the room to call Dr. Kam.

********** I hope you're enjoying, please let me know ! **********


	56. Chapter 56

Doctor Kam answered immediately, "Danny, how is our patient doing?"  
"Doc there have been some complications" Without telling the Doctor specifically where they were, Danny told him what had happened.  
Catherine watched him intently as he didn't say much, he simply listened before responding, "Okay Doc, thank you….. I will"

Cath looked at Danny as he ran a hand through his hair. She asked quietly, "What did he say?"  
"Well of course he wants us to have him checked over"  
"Danny, we have to"  
"Cath, we can't! Not yet…we don't know who we can trust. We know we have at least one corrupt cop and we're being hunted"  
"But Danny…" Tears were slipping down her cheeks.  
"Honey, listen to me. Let me tell you what the Doctor said and what we need to do" Catherine nodded as he continued, "Steve probably has a concussion. With his other medical issues and then the head wound and blood loss, the seizure is not uncommon. The Doctor says we need to keep him hydrated and rested. As long as he is coherent he should be fine. God Cath, I should never have let him come here. He was too weak to be traveling….I'm so sorry….this is all my fault"

Cath stated firmly, "Danny Williams you listen to ME now. This is not your fault, none of this is your fault. Steve has no regrets about having helped Matt. He told me he would do the same thing again. HE feels guilty Danny….he's torn up that Matt is dead and that you are suffering. He feels he didn't do ENOUGH to protect him" Tears were falling from both their eyes as she continued, "Do you really think you could have kept him from coming here, from being at your side and from finding who did this? He wants to take care of you…he loves you. He seems coherent but I need you to promise me something. If he has another seizure, one more, we need to get him to a hospital immediately...…promise me that"

Danny emotionally choked out the words, "I promise…I've got to get some air….I'll be right outside. Holler if you need me"  
"I will"  
Danny walked out into the dark night, shivering slightly as the cool air hit his dampened cheeks. He leaned up against the large window of the room with it's drapes drawn and slowly he slid down to the ground. He pulled his knees up his chest and burying his head into his arms he sobbed. His shoulders heaved as he cried uncontrollably. His head throbbed. He cried for Matty, ashamed that his brother hadn't even crossed his mind the last hour. He cried for Steve, ashamed that he would even THINK about not taking that man to the hospital in his condition. He was endangering Steve's life by not having him checked over and he couldn't take that chance. He had to get Steve medical help.

Chin and Kono were nearing the Motel when they spotted Danny sitting on the ground under the window, his head bowed. They both took off running across the vacant lot towards him. Danny looked up as they neared. His eyes were red and puffy from crying.  
Chin asked nervously, "Danny…..is everything okay?"  
"No….no"  
Kono cried out, "Oh no Steve" Chin grabbed her around the waist pulling her back as she lunged for the door.  
Danny quickly stood, "Kono calm down, he's sleeping….he's sleeping"  
Kono relaxed in her cousin's grasp as Chin asked, "What happened?"  
Danny told them of the seizure and of his call to Doctor Kam.  
Kono's voice shook, "We have to call an ambulance. We have to get him to the hospital NOW"  
Danny shook his head, "Yes, yes I agree"  
Chin held out his hands, "Wait, think about this guys. We don't know who we can trust yet. The Doctor said to watch him close and keep fluids in him. He needs sleep. It's been a hell of a long day, we're all tired and not thinking clearly. Let's eat, clean up and get some sleep and I think that first thing in the morning we should call Governor Denning to have him get us in touch with someone he trusts"

Danny responded, "Okay, but I promised Catherine if he has another seizure or doesn't seem coherent we're calling an ambulance. We'll be able to protect him. I've lost Matty today…there's no way in hell I'm going to lose Steve"  
Chin reached out and grabbed Danny's forearm, "We're not going to lose him Danny"  
The three detectives turned and made their way back into the Motel room.

**50505050505050505050505050505050**

Kono's eyes instantly fell on Steve who was sleeping soundly on the far bed. Cath put a finger to her lips, motioning them to remain quiet. He was very pale, the pallor of his skin nearly matching the white of the bandaging covering his head wound. He appeared to be breathing steadily. She also noted the swelling and fresh bruising on his left shoulder. His face and hands were speckled with small cuts and new bruises caused by the car crash. Danny and Chin were also cut and bruised. They were lucky, very lucky that none of them had been killed.

After they all washed up they sat eating their sandwiches and drinking soda's. Turkey sandwiches never tasted so good. Once done, Kono went to take a shower and as Catherine and Steve slept, Chin and Danny looked through the notebook.

They looked at the scribbled notes, "20,000 each/per target; McGarrett, trained SEAL; number one target is Matthew Williams; but one scribble jumped out at both of them, 'Dern'

"Danny look at this, 'Dern'…..that could be the cop's name?"  
"Yeah maybe. There's not a whole lot here"  
Chin replied, "Maybe not, but it confirms a few things. You and Steve are definitely targets and….it appears they were the ones who killed Matt"

"Yeah, but the third guy is still out there"  
"And he's injured Danny. Now with the identities of these two, we can find him"  
"We WILL find him Chin…..we WILL"  
Kono joined them and they told her what they had found. Searching her computer data base for the names of local law enforcement personnel she found him almost immediately. "Here he is guys, Michael Dern. He's a Sergeant with the Stearns County PD. He's been a cop for eighteen years"

Chin asked, "An eighteen year veteran? Why would he do this?"  
They all turned their heads towards the voice from the bed, "Money"  
Danny responded, "Hey Steven, how long have you been awake?"  
"A while partner"  
"So what do you think Steve?"  
"Eighteen years and still a Sergeant? He probably feels he's been screwed over for years on promotions"  
Chin added, "So he was looking for a big payday?"  
"That would be my guess"

Catherine was still sleeping, her head lying on his right shoulder. Kono asked, "How do you feel Steve?"  
"Okay. I'm just tired. What else have you found out?"  
As Danny filled Steve in on what they knew, Kono smiled softly. He looked weak but he was definitely coherent.  
When Danny was done, Kono added "Steve, you should try to eat your sandwich"  
"No…I'm not hungry"  
Danny stood and grabbing Steve's sandwich and a bottle of water he moved to him. "You don't have a choice babe. You're weak and tired because of the blood you've lost. You have to eat something"

"I don't think my stomach can handle anything Danny"  
"You need to try buddy. At least eat the meat and cheese"  
"I suppose you're not going to let me sleep until I do?"  
"You got that right"  
"I know you too well"  
Cath woke as Steve kissed her forehead, talking softly "Baby can you wake up?"  
She answered groggily, "Hmmmmm, what?"  
Danny spoke, "Catherine, our patient is going to try to eat now"  
Catherine sat up, "Huh? Oh good, that's good" she looked at Steve, "So you're feeling better sailor? You're ready to eat?"

"I'm not ready to eat, but Doctor Danno here won't let me sleep until I do"  
"He's so tough on you, my poor baby"  
Danny rolled his eyes, "Well this 'poor baby' needs a little tough love here…and a sandwich!"  
They all chuckled and handing Catherine the food and water, Danny helped pull Steve into a sitting position.  
Steve cooperated and following Doctor Danno's orders he ate most of the meat and cheese and even a little bit of the bread, discovering he actually was pretty hungry after all.

**50505050505050505050505050505050**

While Steve ate, Danny and Chin took turns showering. Kono continued to research the backgrounds of the two shooters on the computer.  
As the men exited the bathroom Kono would take a break and tend to their wounds.

When Steve was done eating Danny said, "Good job partner. Do you want to use the head before you go to sleep?"  
"Yeah" As Danny moved towards the bed Steve waved him away, "I can do this alone Danny"  
"Steve…don't…."  
Before Danny could say anything else or reach him Steve threw the covers off him seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was naked.  
Kono called out in a surprised voice, "Whoa boss" as Danny and Chin chuckled.  
Catherine pulled up the blanket stating, "Now that you've given everyone a show, why don't you slow down and let me get you some boxers"  
Steve ran a hand over his now blushing face, "Sorry Kono"  
She smiled softly, "No problem boss"  
As Catherine went to Steve's bag, Danny moved to the bedside "Now don't be pig-headed. You're weak and tired and you've been dizzy so let me help you okay?"

"Yes Danno" He took hold of Danny's hand and sat on the edge of the bed (blankets on!) until Catherine returned. Kono turned her head as Steve slipped on his boxers and then with Danny's help he stood.  
Danny held his arm tightly, "You dizzy?"  
Steve's head was bowed and he said, "Yeah"  
"Just stand still until it passes, we're in no hurry"  
"Yeah okay"  
Catherine sat on her knees on the bed and gently rubbed Steve's neck and back until he was ready to go.

Danny stood at the door and waited for him to finish. Steve brushed him off as he exited the bathroom, "I'm good Danno, thanks"  
Once Steve was back in bed Danny clapped his hands together, "There! Now you can go to sleep"  
"Not yet D', I should call the Governor first"  
"Why don't you do that in the morning. Let us finish our research here first"  
"Yeah, yeah…good idea" Steve's eyes were closed and he was pinching the bridge of his nose.  
"Hey how does your head feel?"  
"I've got a headache"  
Kono stated, "I bought some Tylenol at the pharmacy"  
Catherine grabbed three tablets and after Steve took them and drank a good amount of water, he nestled his head back onto the pillow and in moments he was asleep.

It was almost one in the morning and they decided they all needed sleep to be ready for tomorrow. Danny took some Tylenol as well and grabbing extra blankets and pillows from the closet, he curled up on the couch with Chin and Kono taking the other bed. Within fifteen minutes they all were overcome with exhaustion and sleeping soundly.

********** I hope you're enjoying and remember, I love, love, love reviews ! ************

** ********** More to come ! *********  
**


	57. Chapter 57

Kono woke first, a little before seven in the morning. She moved over to the table and logged onto the computer.  
Along with the men's drivers' licenses, Chin had taken their fingerprints by using their blood and a piece of paper, a trick he had learned from McGarrett on their first case together before Steve dangled the suspect from the roof of a building, resulting one of his many 'Danny rants'.

Through records she identified the first shooter was Gabriel Paranda, 32 years old, a convicted felon who was released from prison six months ago having served twelve years on drug and gun possession charges.  
The second shooter was Eddie Cox, 28 years old, also a convicted felon who was released just two months ago having served ten years on robbery charges.  
Upon review of their prison records it was found that the two had been cellmates for six years and that Cox moved in with Paranda upon his release. They had two other roommates, Bryan Stewart and Julian Shields, both ex-cons and drug offenders.

Chin woke a short time later and after changing clothes he walked a few blocks away to grab McDonalds breakfast and coffee's for everyone. When he returned, the others were all awake and Steve was on the phone with the Governor.  
"…..yes Sir…...we'll stay in touch…"  
Danny was motioning to Steve to hand him the phone and before hanging up he said, "Governor, Danny needs to say something"  
He held out the phone, "What Danny?"  
"Just give me the phone please Steven"  
Taking the phone Danny spoke, "Hello Governor…..thank you Sir, I appreciate that. I wanted to thank you for providing the private plane for me to transport Matthew in…yes Sir….and one other thing Sir, when you talk to the Police Chief can you let him know that when we meet with him, we'll need to see a Doctor as well…yes, yes Sir, McGarrett is stubborn…..thank you"

Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking his head "I'm fine Daniel"  
"You're a bit out-numbered here Steven, my guess is four to one" Steve was glaring at his partner as Danny continued, "Don't give me that look!"

"I'm telling you, I'M FINE"  
Danny threw his hands into the air in frustration and turned from his partner.  
Chin jumped in, "Calm down Danny. Steve, please just humor us okay and see the Doctor. WE'LL all feel better if you do"  
Steve sighed before agreeing, "Yeah, okay…no problem"  
Danny turned back and stated, "Thank you. Now can you tell us how we are proceeding?"

Chin handed everybody coffee's and Egg McMuffin's as Steve spoke, "Governor Denning knows the Chief of Police for Stearns County and he feels we can trust him. His name is Bruce Jessup. He's been the Chief of Police for seven years and according to Denning he is particularly tough on drug offenders. Apparently he lost a teenage son to an overdose of tainted heroin about twelve years ago. He won't give the Chief any details, just that Matthew was Danny's brother and that our lives are in danger. Denning's going to call him now and we should hear from Jessup soon. Chin, you stand guard at the window"

Cath inquired, "I thought we could trust him?"  
Steve smiled, "We're just playing it safe Cath" he then asked, "What have you found out Kono?"

As they ate, Kono filled them in on her findings and while they waited for the call Cath re-dressed Steve's head wound which had bled through the bandaging over-night. As she applied an antiseptic ointment to the gash, they were all relieved to see that the bleeding had stopped.

Steve's cellphone rang half an hour later, "This is McGarrett"  
"Commander McGarrett, this is Police Chief Bruce Jessup. My friend Sam thinks we need to meet"  
"Yes Sir, I believe we should"  
"Where are you?"  
"No…when can you be at your office?"  
"No good McGarrett. There's a family restaurant on the edge of town, Carol's. I can meet you there in forty five minutes"  
"My partner and I will be there. You'll come alone?"  
"Yes. Take a seat by the window and I'll see you soon"

Steve hung up and turned to Danny, "We're meeting him at a restaurant in forty-five minutes, are you ready"  
"Absolutely"  
As Steve spoke he took the battery out of his phone "Good. In case he traced my phone….use yours to call us a cab. By the way, you've got crumbs on your tie"

Steve went to use the bathroom and Kono asked quietly, "Is he up to this Danny?"  
Danny nodded as he wiped the muffin crumbs from his tie, "He seem's fine. Don't worry, I'll watch him" Danny then called for a cab.

Exiting the bathroom Steve looked at Cath and his team, "You guys be careful here. Chin if you haven't heard from us in two hours call the Governor"  
Chin nodded, "Will do Steve"  
Catherine kissed Steve tenderly, "Be careful. I love you"  
"I love you too"  
Danny stood peering through the drapes and several minutes later he said "The cab's here Steve, let's go"

**5050505050505050505050505050**

They arrived at the restaurant twenty minutes prior to their meeting time. Before entering Danny walked around to the back of the building and meeting Steve at the door he said, "All clear. Anyone following us?"  
Steve shook his head, "No, we're good"  
They entered Carol's and requesting a window seat overlooking the parking lot they sipped on coffee while they waited. The restaurant was full of patrons, mostly big rig drivers and the amazing aroma of fresh baked caramel and cinnamon rolls filled the air.

Steve looked into his partner's eyes, "How are you doing Danno?"  
"I'm good partner, how about you?"  
"I'm alright. I'll be better when we get answers about Dern"  
"Yeah, me too. How's your stomach today?"  
"Not too bad"  
"I'm sorry to put you through all this Steve….Matty sure brought chaos to your life didn't he?"  
"You don't ever have to apologize to me for helping out family Danny"

"He really wasn't a bad guy Steve…..I should never have let him get on that plane…..I let him go and I lost him"  
Steve sighed, "Danny, you lost him long before that buddy. You just didn't know it"  
"Yeah….."  
Steve nodded towards the front door, "I think he might be here"

A man approached the detectives and Steve's hand instinctively moved to his sidearm.  
He was a tall man in his mid 50's with black hair, peppered with grey. He wore no jacket and Steve could see he was unarmed.  
"McGarrett?"  
Steve moved his hand from his weapon and extended it. "Yes, I'm Steve McGarrett"  
The man shook Steve's hand firmly, "I'm Bruce Jessup. I'm here to help you"  
Steve nodded, "Thank you. This is my partner, Detective Danny Williams"  
Jessup shook Danny's hand and the Jersey detective slid over on the bench seat allowing Jessup to sit.

"From what Sam Denning tells me, you feel one of my men is involved in the death of Matthew Williams and that they have also targeted you"  
"It's much more than a feeling Sir. We have proof"  
"What kind of proof?"  
"Two men attacked us last night after we left Reiser's Mortuary. They crashed into our vehicle and shot at us"  
Jessup nodded, "A motorist came across the scene last night and contacted us. So you killed those men?"  
Danny jumped in, "They were trying to KILL US!"  
Jessup raised his hand, "I understand that Detective. I'm just trying to piece everything together"  
Wanting to test the Chief's loyalty, Steve continued, "Can you tell us anything you know about those men Sir?"

He told Steve and Danny everything they already knew, plus more….  
"Gabriel Paranda was a drug informant for our department"  
Steve sighed, "Did he work with any detectives in particular?"  
"Our drug unit consists of four detectives, Bobby Warren, Dale Cartwright, Jake Mittlested and Luke Riley…the unit is led by Sergeant Michael Dern"

**5050505050505050505050505050**

Steve and Danny's eyes met and Danny nodded knowingly. Steve had come to the decision that Jessup was exactly what Denning had described him as, a good and honest man.

"Chief Jessup, we took photos of our attacker's ID's and their fingerprints. We identified Paranda and Cox and know that they were cellmates for six years. They also had a notebook in their truck. It mentioned Matt Williams as their number one target and both our names were also listed. A price was listed as 20,000/each - per target and a there was a name…..Dern"

The detectives watched the Chief's reaction closely and it was obvious to both of them that the information came as a shock to him.  
"Dern? Are you sure they meant Michael Dern?"  
Danny spoke, "As Cox was dying, we asked who sent him….he said one word…cop"

Jessup sighed, "I've known Michael Dern for almost twenty years. Twelve years ago my sixteen year old son died after taking tainted heroin. The drug unit investigated the ring that was responsible and Michael went undercover. He was undercover for almost two years working his way into the inner circle. When we took down the organization, Michael was almost killed. He was shot three times and he came away from the assignment with an addiction to cocaine. He spent almost a year rehabilitating. I'm shocked to hear that he's involved in this, he's a good man McGarrett"

Steve felt horrible for the man. He saw his pain, and he understood it. He understood it all too well, "I'm sure he WAS a good man Chief. Now we need to find out what went wrong. Can I ask you….. over the years has he been turned down for promotions?"

Jessup sighed, "Twice…he was denied promotion as lead of the drug unit the first time he applied. I felt it was too soon after his addiction. Then two years ago he was denied promotion to Lieutenant"

"Was there a reason for that?"  
"Honestly…the decision was purely monetary. Like most departments across the country, funding is tight"  
"Yeah, I understand. How did he take it?"  
"He was disappointed…and upset"  
"Does he have financial issues that you're aware of?"  
"Not that I'm aware of, but a few months after he was denied his wife left him. They divorced and she moved out East with their two sons"

Steve responded, "Chief Jessup I've seen many good men do evil things for love and money. If Dern felt the department owed him and then on top of that he blamed the breakup of his marriage on not getting promoted….."  
Danny added, "I can personally attest to the fact that there's nothing harder to deal with than a spouse taking your child across the country"

Jessup looked at the two men, "So you think he he snapped…"  
Steve said quietly, "I'm sorry but it appears so Sir"

They sat quietly for several minutes before Steve asked, "How do you think we should proceed Sir?"  
"I need to talk to Dern's Captain as soon as possible. Unfortunately with Paranda's connections to the drug unit, Dern is already involved in investigating his killing"  
Danny mumbled, "Great"  
Steve asked, "Can you trust the Captain?"  
"Yes….yes, I'm certain of it. Let me do some digging on my end and I'll call you in a couple of hours. When I see you next, I'll have the Doctor you requested with me to check you over"

"That would be fine. Chief, there's a couple things we need"  
"Oh course, what is it?"  
"We need a car, an SUV. Until we know for certain everyone involved in this we can't put anything in our names"  
"Of course. I'll have a department vehicle sent here shortly. I'll have the officer park in the lot, next to the dumpster and leave the keys under the mat. I'll take care of the paperwork, there will be no way to track it. Anything else?"

Steve looked at Danny, "Chief, can you please contact the coroner…..it may be a few days before we can fly Matthew home"  
Danny sat quietly, looking down at his coffee cup, running his index finger around the rim.  
Bruce Jessup responded softly, "I'll take care of it. I'll call you soon" He stood from the booth and after shaking hands with the men, he left the restaurant.

*********** More to follow – I'd love to hear what you think? ************


	58. Chapter 58

Steve went to use the bathroom while Danny called Chin to check in. He was hanging up as Steve returned setting two boxes in front of him.  
"What's this?"  
"Caramel and Cinnamon rolls"  
"Ahhhh, fantastic!"  
Danny poured his partner another cup of coffee, "Thanks Danny"  
"Hey, are you feeling okay? You're sweating"  
"I'm okay, just a little tired. So tell me, do you think we can trust Jessup?"  
"Yeah Steve, I do. The Governor knows him and trusts him. I think he's a good, honest man"  
"I agree"

A few minutes later they noticed a black SUV and a police squad car pulled into the lot. They watched as an officer exited the SUV, bending over to place the key under the mat before joining his partner in their squad car which then pulled back out onto the road. They sat inside for about fifteen minutes watching for anything suspicious before heading outside. About twenty feet from the car Steve staggered and dropped to one knee. Danny was a few steps ahead of him carrying the boxes of rolls. He heard Steve call out weakly as he fell, "Danny…"

He turned back to see Steve's knee hit the ground, "STEVE!" Danny was at his friend's side in seconds. Setting the boxes on the ground he grabbed hold of Steve's shoulders. "Hey, hey…what is it?"

"Daanno….ooh sshit….."  
"Steve, babe talk to me…what's wrong?"  
"SSHITT….oh mmy God"  
"Steve relax, I've got you"  
"Daannyy…..ccann't breathe…."  
Danny squeezed Steve tightly up against his body. He placed his forehead up against the side of Steve's head, whispering into his ear, "Slow down your breathing buddy….come on, nice and slow….relax"  
"Hhhurts so ffuckingg bbad"  
"Ssshhhhh, don't talk….relax"  
About ten minutes passed before Steve's breathing calmed slightly. "Danny…I need to sleep man"  
"Okay. Let me get you to the car" Danny kept a tight hold on Steve as they got to their feet, "Move slow now"

After helping Steve into the SUV and then going back and grabbing the rolls, he moved back to the vehicle.  
Buckling up he looked over to Steve. He was sweating profusely. His eyes were squeezed shut and his head was tipped back.  
"You okay Superman?"  
"I'm so sick of hurting D…I'm ss….."  
Danny interrupted him, "Don't even say it Steve. You have nothing to be sorry for…."  
"God 'm tired"  
"Close your eyes and I'll have you back in bed in a few minutes"  
"Yeah, 'k….so tttired"

They were driving in silence and were only minutes from the Motel when it happened. Steve's body tensed in the passenger seat as he again began to seize. His back arched and the seatbelt tightened against his chest and right shoulder. His arms flailed wildly.  
"STEVE, JESUS CHRIST NO! STEVE!"  
Danny pulled to the side of the road. Steve was gasping, his head banging back against the headrest.  
Danny grabbed Steve's left arm and using his other hand he pressed Steve's forehead against the headrest, "BREATHE STEVEN, JUST BREATHE! I'M RIGHT HERE BABE, DANNO'S HERE" He continued to encourage him throughout the seizure. He was scared, actually he was terrified as time seemed to stand still. The SEAL gasped for air and he was drooling uncontrollably. His eyes remained tightly closed and Danny watched as his partners eyes darted quickly back and forth behind the closed lids. The seizure lasted only minutes but it felt horribly long to Danny. As Steve's body began to relax back in the seat his arms fell limply onto his lap. Danny's voice was shaking as he continued to talk, now soft and calming "It's over babe…it's over…..you're going to be fine Steve, relax" This continued for several minutes before Danny felt it was safe to again drive.

As he pulled back into traffic he called Chin, "Chin, oh shit man!"  
"Danny? What happened?"  
"Steve had another seizure?"  
"In the car? Are you okay?"  
Danny's voice was shaking, "Yeah, I'm fine. He's unconscious. We'll be there in a couple of minutes. I'm going to need help getting him inside"  
"I'm watching for you brah. Drive safely"

**5050505050505050505050505050505050**

As Danny pulled in front of the Motel room Chin raced outside to help. Steve remained unconscious as the two men removed him from the SUV and carried him into the room. They placed him onto the bed and as the girls tended to Steve, Chin went outside to close up the vehicle. Danny sat on the other bed as his emotions overwhelmed him. Chin returned and went to the sink to grab a wet towel. The girls had removed his shoes and shirt. His chest and shoulder had nasty looking red welt marks from where the seatbelt had restrained him. The men watched on as Kono pulled the blankets up around him. Chin handed Catherine the wet towel and she proceeded to wipe his sweat drenched head, face and neck. Danny was shaking, running a hand through his hair.

Chin moved to his side, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, "Danny….what happened?"  
They all looked at Danny, "He seemed fine until we were leaving. Then his pains got really severe….and then the seizure hit. It seemed to go on forever…."

Catherine was crying, "Danny we need to get him to the hospital" she paused, adding "You promised Danny"  
"The Police Chief was calling a Doctor. Let me see if we can get him out here right away first"  
"Danny…please…..he's not responding"  
Danny moved to Steve's side. Leaning over him, he patted Steve's cheeks, "Steve, Steve hey….Steven open your eyes for me buddy"  
Danny became frantic, "STEVE….come on babe, I need you to listen to me and open your eyes, OPEN YOUR EYES STEVE"  
They all breathed a sigh of relief as Steve said quietly "Stop yelling Danny…I have a headache"  
Speaking through nervous laughter Danny responded, "Sorry….you sleep now"

Pulling the covers back, Danny took Steve's cell phone from the pocket of his cargo pants and moving from the bed he dialed Jessup.  
"Jessup"  
"Chief Jessup, this is Danny Williams"  
"Yes, Detective, is everything alright?"  
"Yeah but we need that Doctor as soon as possible"  
"Is there something I should know?"  
"McGarrett has had some complications from the beating he endured from Cordoba. With the new head injury, we're just concerned"  
"Where are you?"  
Danny paused briefly before telling him, "We're at the Lincoln Motel, room 36"  
"I'm sending Doctor John Ramerez. He'll be there shortly"  
"Thank you Sir. Do you have any information for us yet?"  
"Not yet, but I'll call you soon"  
"Okay, thank you"

As he hung up, Chin asked "You told him where we are?"  
"Yes….we can trust him Chin"  
After filling them all in on the meeting with Jessup, Danny then stepped outside and called his parents and Rachel. He was still outside when a silver Mercedes pulled in next to their SUV. After the Doctor introduced himself, they entered the Motel room.

After giving the Doctor the details of Steve's previous injuries and of the addiction and withdrawal, they all stood back and watched as the Doctor woke Steve and examined him.  
"Mr. McGarrett you have a concussion. Your head wound is clean, your friends here have done a good job with that"  
Danny asked, "What about the seizures Doc?"  
They were all relieved when the Doctor gave them the same diagnosis that Doctor Kam had given. The seizures were not uncommon under these circumstances and that Steve needed to rest and rehydrate.  
He then added, "Would you like any medication to help you sleep?"  
Steve responded adamantly, "NO…no drugs…...I don't want ANY drugs"  
"Okay, that's fine. Do you have any questions for me Mr. McGarrett?"  
"No Doctor. Thank you very much for the house call"  
"No problem at all. I'll do pretty much anything for Bruce Jessup. He's a good man"  
"Yes, he is. Thank you Doctor" After shaking hands with Steve, the Doctor left with Danny escorting him to his car.

Danny shook his hand, "Thank you Doctor"  
"You're welcome Mr. Williams. Here's my card. Call my personal line if you need anything or have any questions. Also, take these...…" He handed Danny written prescriptions, "Here are prescriptions for sleeping pills and for pain medication. In case he changes his mind"

"Thank you Doctor Ramerez. Can I ask….after this last seizure he was really out of it. It was hard to rouse him"  
"That's not surprising. He lost a lot of blood and seizures exhaust the body. As long as you CAN rouse him, it's then best to let him sleep"  
"Okay, Thank you Sir"  
Danny lingered outside watching as the Doctor's vehicle turned onto the main road. Once he was sure that no one had followed the Doctor he re-entered the room, setting the written prescriptions on the dresser.

********* More to Follow *********


	59. Chapter 59

Steve was still sleeping when the knock came. The detectives drew their weapons and Chin approached the door. Danny peered through the drapes and holstering his gun, he said "It's okay Chin, it's Jessup"

Bruce Jessup entered the room and Danny introduced him to the others. The Chief motioned to the sleeping SEAL, "Is he alright?"  
Danny responded, "He will be. He's had a couple of seizures since the car crash. Doctor Ramerez confirmed that he has a concussion. He just needs rest"  
"I have some answers for you"  
Catherine stayed by Steve as the others all sat at the small table.

Chief Jessup began, "We pulled phone records on Michael Dern. In the last six weeks there was an unusually large amount of inbound and outbound calls between him and one of his men, Luke Riley. This included numerous late night calls. Riley is the newest member of the drug unit and he's only been a cop for four years. I sent Dern and his team out on a call. Riley had the day off today and I paid him a little visit. I'm not one to play games Detective so I went and interrogated Riley at his home. I told him that we had 'concerns' about the death of their informant, Gabriel Paranda. I told him we had information pointing to he and Dern being involved in 'illegal activities' with Paranda which led to his death. I told him I would give him a one-time offer to tell me everything he knew in exchange for a plea bargain in return. My instincts were correct and he sang like a bird. Six weeks ago Dern approached him with an offer. Paranda had told him that his new roommate, Eddie Cox had recently been released from prison and Cox had told him of a conversation he had overheard in the prison courtyard just before his release. He heard three known Ocinco/Cordoba cartel members talking about a plan to avenge the capture of Felipe Ocinco and the deaths of his nephew, Freddy and his cousin, David Rojas. They said that the cartel had discovered Matthew's new identity. They talked about the cartel's plan to kidnap Matthew, knowing that you and McGarrett would come to his rescue. They talked of getting back their 500K and killing the three of you"

Danny looked at the Chief, his facial expression stern "So you're telling me Dern KNEW that Matt was going to be kidnapped and he did nothing to stop it?"  
Jessup nodded, "Yes, it appears so. According to Riley, Dern knew when the kidnapping was going to happen and where Matt and Steve were going to be held"  
Danny was irate as he stated very loudly, "Being held, and being TORTURED!" Danny pointed to Steve, "That man had the hell beaten out of him and he was pumped full of fucking meth!"

Chin grabbed Danny's arm, "Danny, calm down brother. You're angry at the wrong man"  
Danny ran a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry Chief. I'm not angry with you, I'm angry about what happened. Please…..go on"  
"It's alright, I understand…..believe me, I'm angry as well. Dern was the mastermind. He met with Riley, Paranda and Cox . He offered Paranda and Cox each 20,000 for each man they killed along with an additional 20,000 bonus once you were all dead. He offered Riley a flat 150.000"

Chin looked at him puzzled, "That's 310,000, that didn't leave much for himself"  
"I'm not done…..between the four men, they had the crime scene under surveillance the entire time Steve and Matt were being held. Their plan was to follow the cartel members when they all left together. They planned on ambushing and killing them, then taking the money and all the drugs they had on them. McGarrett foiled their plans though by escaping. Unfortunately for the men, Eddie Cox was on guard when McGarrett killed his captors. Although he spent time in prison for robbery, he was actually only the driver of the get-a-way car. He heard gunfire from the bunker and he watched Steve bring Matt up. He was totally a follower though and as he watched Steve, he didn't know what to do. He tried to call Dern but he had no cell service. He panicked and left his post to get service. Riley was with Dern when he got the call from Cox. Dern was irate and he instructed Cox to get back to the scene and to follow McGarret. By the time he got back though Corboda and his men had returned, McGarrett had killed them, and he and Matt were gone. When Dern and Riley arrived on the scene they took the money and the remaining drugs that McGarrett had left before any other officers were even aware of what had happened. According to Riley they raced to the airport trying to find Steve but they missed him. He was unaware that Steve was a pilot and had access to Governor Denning's private plane. After McGarrett had notified Governor Denning and Sam called us, we processed the scene. We found no money or drugs but at the time we assumed there may have been other cartel members that had escaped with it"

Danny inquired, "So Dern figured he'd cash in on the drugs"  
"Yes. He knew Cordoba always traveled with drugs. Riley figures they had at least a quarter of a million in Meth"  
"So who was the third man that ambushed and killed Matt?"  
"Cox's younger brother Aaron. We're following leads on his whereabouts now. He was shot in the leg during the ambush. We don't look at him as a threat at this point. He's in hiding"

"So you don't believe there are any other cops involved?"  
"No, Riley knows if he holds anything back, I won't deal with him"  
Chin then asked, "What about Dern?"  
"I figured you may want to join me at headquarters. I doubt he suspects anything and once we're there, I'll call his team in and we'll arrest him"

Danny nodded, "Absolutely, we want to be there"  
Kono asked, "Should we wake Steve?"  
They all turned and looked at the man who hadn't moved a muscle. Danny replied, "No…let him sleep. Cath will you stay here?"  
"Of course"

Moments later Danny was in the front seat of Chief Jessup's car on their way to Police Headquarters with Chin and Kono following behind.

**50505050500000505050505050505050**

They had been on the road about fifteen minutes when the Chief's radio crackled, "Chief Jessup, come in please"  
Picking up the mike he responded, "Jessup here"  
"Chief, this is Winters"  
"Yes Captain?"  
"Chief, it's just been brought to my attention that Dern called in requesting to talk to you just as you were walking into the station with Riley in handcuffs. The receptionist unwittingly gave Dern this information"

"So he may be aware we're on to him?"  
"I believe so Sir. He's not answering my calls and we've tracked his squad car to his home"  
"The Hawaii team is with me. I'm about ten minutes from his place. I want you to send all available squads and make sure they consider know him dangerous. I want to take him down without incident"  
"Yes Sir, over"

Jessup turned to Danny, "You might want to give your friends a heads up"  
Danny nodded and taking out his cell, he phoned Kono.

A short time later they pulled in front of the small rambler style home with a basketball hoop in the drive way and a swing-set and tree fort visible in the backyard.  
As soon as they exited their vehicles a shot rang out from the bedroom window and Danny turned back to see Kono's body being catapulted back against the SUV. He screamed, "KONO" and raced towards her as shots rang out.

Chin and Chief Jessup provided cover fire as Danny raced to her side. She was leaning up against the SUV, her eyes open wide, the fear evident on her face. She mouthed "Danny" but no sound came. Without hesitating he grabbed her and scooping her into his arms and keeping low to avoid being hit in the cross-fire of bullets, he scurried between the two vehicles to safety.

The sound of sirens filled the air as numerous squad cars were arriving on the scene. Chief Jessup hollered to Danny and Chin, "Get her to the hospital! Five miles, straight West! GO GO!"

Chin slid into the back seat and Danny handed Kono up to him. He then jumped into the driver's seat and pealed out of the driveway, racing from the scene.  
Danny continually glanced in the rear-view mirror. Kono was lying in her cousins lap and he now saw blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. Chin's hands were covered in blood as he pressed firmly against her side. The despair in his voice terrified Danny, "Come on Kono, you stay with me baby….stay with me" He had just lost Malia. Danny didn't think he could survive if he lost Kono too.

A couple minutes later Chin was calling to him, "DANNY HURRY, GOD HURRY!" Danny could hear why Chin was so panicked, as gurgling sounds emitted from Kono's throat.  
Danny called back to him, "Turn her on her side Chin!" Looking back he watched as Chin turned her towards him which also gave him easier access to the wound. Kono's yellow, flowered blouse was now a bright crimson red.

Danny felt like he needed to vomit as Steve's words from the other day filled his mind.  
_'__I wasn't able to save Chad…...he took two rounds to his side, under the armpit. A couple of the guys ran to get our truck but he bled to death in my arms in moments. As I held him in my lap, Joe did everything he could to stop the bleeding but one of rounds had pierced his lung. He knew he was dying... He struggled to talk, making me promise I would take care of Christina and the baby. I loved him so much Danny…he was my brother and a part of me died with him'_

Seeing the entry wound and hearing Kono struggle to breathe, he knew in his gut that her lung had been pierced and was filling with blood.

His foot pressed even harder onto the accelerator as he called out to Chin, "Two minutes brother, two minutes" Danny then softly prayed that two minutes would not be too late.

********* MORE TO COME – are you still enjoying? I'd love to know! *********


	60. Chapter 60

******** This chapter contains a reference to Steve's SEAL brother, David Pappas (from my story BROTHERS IN ARMS); His back story will be discussed in a future chapter ********

The SUV came to a screeching halt at the emergency room entrance of the hospital. Danny opened the back door and Chin gently placed his beloved cousin into the waiting arms of his friend. Danny raced into the hospital screaming for help with Chin right behind him.

An orderly appeared with a stretcher and Danny gently laid her down while stating, "Gunshot wound, possible punctured lung….hurry please"  
Moments later the stretcher was being pushed through the exam room doors as Chin and Danny stood by watching helplessly.  
Chin leaned back against the tiled wall across from the door, looking through the small window in front of him as the medical lifted Kono onto the exam table and two Doctors began cutting away her clothing. Danny stood a few feet away running a blood soaked hand through his hair. He then bent over, placing his hands on his knees as he again battled a nausea that nearly overwhelmed him.

Moments later a young Nurse came from the room asking, "Excuse me. Are you family?"  
Chin responded, "Yes, she's my cousin. We're all cops. Is she okay?"  
The Nurse spoke soothingly "We're giving her blood transfusions and we're prepping her for surgery. The Doctor will be out in a few minutes to talk to you"

Chin nodded, saying softly "Thank you" As she re-entered the exam room, Danny moved to Chin's side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He spoke calmly, "Chin, she'll be okay. We got her here fast, they're taking good care of her"

Chin's voice shook with fear as he responded, "She was drowning in her own blood Danny. Oh God, I can't lose her…I can't"  
"She's young and strong. We have to believe that she'll be okay" They turned as a Doctor emerged from the room.  
Shaking hands with the men he introduced himself as Dr. Ronald Clark. Chin asked, "Is she going to be okay Doctor?"

The Doctor's eyes met Chin's, "We'll do everything we can for her but she is critical. You got her here quickly and were giving her blood transfusions now. The bullet is lodged in her lung. We're taking her into surgery immediately. You can wait in the waiting room and I'll send a Nurse in periodically to update you"

Danny grabbed Chin by the upper arm as he responded, "Thank you Doctor" Chin watched through the window as the Doctor moved back to his cousin's side. Danny's grip tightened, "Come on brother, let's go"  
The men walked slowly down the long corridor to the waiting room.  
Danny's mind was racing, _'Oh dear God what else can happen? These last few months have been so hard on all of us. Starting with Malia's death, things have been spiraling downward. Chin had pulled back from all of us, trying to handle everything on his own, not wanting to be a 'burden'. Then he was kidnapped by Paul Delano and after he survived that, things began to slowly get better. He had opened up more to me and Steve over beers one night about ten days after the kidnapping. That night he talked, he cried and he finally truly grieved. Then there was Doris….her return had been as much a curse as a blessing for Steve. He loved his Mother, yet all the pain and sense of loss he had experienced as a teenager rushed back to him with her return. I've watched Steve struggle with his feelings for her. Hell, the man had thought his Mother was dead, dead and buried for twenty years for God's sake! That secret, that betrayal had led to the break-up of the McGarrett family and eventually to John McGarrett's death. Doris returned not seeming to understand the long lasting affects her decision to disappear had on her son. She expected him to 'just move on' and when he had troubles doing that, he experienced guilt. Now she had disappeared again and as much as Steve said he was 'alright' I know better. I see the pain in his eyes. So much so that I stopped bringing up the topic to him. Now with his mind messed up because of the meth, he's dealing with feelings of Doris, of Emily and of Chad. All the good that man has done, all the lives he has saved…none of it mattered in his mind right now. All he felt was pain and heartache. Then there was Matty. My beloved Matty…..and now Kono. Sweet, beautiful Kono. Chin wasn't the only one who couldn't imagine losing her. Kono was the heart of 5-0. Whether she knew it or not, she kept the three of us in line. She kept us grounded. We can't lose her, not now…..not ever'_

As they entered the waiting room Danny motioned to the restroom, "Hey why don't you go wash up"  
Chin didn't speak, he simply nodded and made his way to the bathroom. Danny pulled out his cell and dialed Steve.  
Catherine answered, "Hi Danny"  
"Cath, is my boy awake"  
"Hang on, he's just finishing up in the bathroom"  
"Catherine….Kono's been shot"  
"What? Oh my God…..no…no"  
Danny heard Steve in the background, "Cath? What's wrong?" She handed him the phone, "Danny?"  
"Steve...it's Kono. She's been shot"  
Catherine watched as the blood drained from his face, "How bad?"  
Danny paused briefly, "It's bad babe, it's really bad"  
"Where was she hit Danno?"  
Danny hesitated slightly before responding, "Her upper side. Steve….."  
Seconds passed and Steve pleaded, "What Danny?"  
"Her lung is punctured" Steve felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. All he could think about was Chad as Danny continued, "Steve, listen to me. She's in good hands. They're getting her into surgery quickly. She'll be okay"

"We'll be right there"  
"Steve...Chin and I both need a change of clothes"  
Steve closed his eyes, knowing what that meant "Got it buddy"  
As Steve put clothes in a bag for the men, Catherine called a cab and soon they were enroute to the hospital.

**505050505050505050505050505050505050  
**  
Steve and Catherine entered the waiting room to find Danny sitting at a table while Chin stood at a large window staring aimlessly at the hospital parking lot. It had begun to rain and the skies had grown dark.  
As Steve approached the table, Danny stood and the sight of him stopped the SEAL dead in his tracks. The detectives' blue and white striped shirt was covered in blood.

Danny spoke first, "Hey"  
Steve nodded, "Hey. Any news?"  
"No. The Doc said they would keep us updated"  
"I talked to Chief Jessup on the way over here. Dern fired shots at them for about twenty minutes before they stormed the house. He put a bullet in his head before they could take him. He was holding a picture of his two boys"

Danny said softly, "So it looks like he snapped"  
Catherine responded, "Yeah but I'll never understand why anyone would kill innocent people"  
Steve took her hand, "In his eyes we're not innocents"  
Danny added, "Matty certainly wasn't innocent. None of this would have happened if my brother had kept his hands clean. I'm so sorry Steve"

"This isn't your fault Danny. If you get right down to it, I'm to blame. I helped Matt elude the cartel and I arranged for him to be in Witness Protection. I killed Ocinco's nephew and several of his men….I put that target on our heads"

"It's not surprising that you would take all the responsibility for this, but that's bullshit and you know it. I killed Ocinco's cousin and bottom line my friend is...…MY brother is to blame for this"

Catherine's voice was shaking as she spoke softly, "I think both of you are full of shit" The two men looked at her incredulously as she added, "You both did what you had to do….that's all. Neither one of you is to blame so get your heads straight and please…..please stop...…"

Catherine began to cry and Steve pulled her into an embrace, "Honey, sshhhhhhh…. it's going to be okay"  
Danny touched her shoulder briefly and then taking the bag from Steve he moved to the bathroom to change.  
Steve kissed the top of her head, "Are you okay?"  
"I hate to see you two fight"  
"Fight? We aren't fighting"  
"Well….you're disagreeing"  
"We disagree all the time sweetheart, every day... we're all overly emotional right now, that's all"  
"You know this isn't your fault Steve, don't you?"  
Saying what she needed to hear at the moment, he said quietly "I know...…thank you"  
Her head was resting on his chest and she watched Chin as he stared out at the rain pelting against the glass in front of him.  
She asked, "Is Chin going to be okay?"  
"I think it's too soon to answer that…...I need to check on him" Kissing her cheek, she sat at the table and he moved over to Chin.

He stood next to Chin for several minutes without saying anything, staring out at the darkening sky.  
Chin broke the silence, "I can't lose her Steve"  
"You're not going to lose her…..…we're not going to lose her. You can't let your mind go their buddy. You have to stay strong"  
Steve was struggling to believe his own words as his eyes took in Chin's blood-soaked clothes.  
Chin paused before saying, "I held her in my arms and she couldn't breathe…..…she was choking on her own blood Steve and I couldn't help her…God I couldn't help her" His voice was choked with emotion and tears slid down his cheeks.

Steve responded, "Look at me brother" Chin turned his head and looked into Steve's eyes, "Chin, you took care of her. You did everything you could. The Doctors are taking good care of her"  
Chin again choked out the words, "I can't lose her"  
After a brief hug, Chin moved to the bathroom to change while Steve grabbed coffee for himself and Cath.

**505050505050505050505050505050505050**

The four friends spent the next couple of hours mostly in silence, all deep in their own thoughts.

Chin thought of Malia, the love he had lost that came back him, only to be taken from him so brutally.

Danny thought of Matthew, remembering the inquisitive boy who would do anything to please his older brother but as an adult that idolization had made him too embarrassed to come to him when he got into trouble…..until it was too late.

Catherine worried about Steve, she had known and loved this man for eight years and she was seeing a vulnerability in him that she had never seen before. She had watched him experience devastating losses in the past, but now with his struggle with addiction every loss he had so stoically endured, every betrayal he had suffered through were coming back to him as fresh, painful wounds. She had to report back to the Gulf in five days and the thought of leaving him at this time absolutely terrified her.

And Steve thought of Emily, Chad and Christina. He thought of Jack Lynch, David Pappas, Freddie Hart and the other brave men he had loved and lost over the years. He thought of his Dad…he thought of his Mom, and he thought of Danno. He couldn't keep his mind from drifting to one question, what was all the pain and suffering for? He remembered his beloved Aunt, his Dad's sister Karen. She had tried so hard to help him heal from his Mothers 'death' and the separation from his Dad and Mary. She had done a wonderful job providing for, and nurturing him as he matured into adulthood but she could not replace his Mother…and to her credit, she never tried.

And they all thought of Kono, their beloved friend who was fighting for her life a short distance away.  
After what seemed like an eternity, a Nurse entered the waiting room…..

*********** TO BE CONTINUED…..I hope you're still liking? I PLANNED on finishing this week but my world of reality allowed me very little time to indulge in my world of fantasy. I'll TRY to finish this week-end, I promise! ************

**God Bless the people of Boston and Texas affected by this week's tragedies**


	61. Chapter 61

****** I reference a vacation to New Jersey that Steve took with Danny and Gracie in this chapter - it is from my story Sharks vs. Bears if you'd like to give it a try ******

They all stood as the Nurse asked, "Are you the family of Ms. Kalakaua?"  
Chin spoke nervously, "Yes Ma'am"  
Catherine reached over and took hold of Chin's hand, squeezing it encouragingly.  
The Nurse identified herself as Mickie, "Doctor Clark wants you to know that he has successfully repaired Kono's lung"  
Steve asked, "So she's going to be alright?"

"He's suctioned the lung and repaired it. I really have no other details, but he should be out to see you within the hour"  
Chin nodded, "Thank you Mickie"  
Catherine squeezed Chin's hand as Mickie left the room and Steve looked to him, "Hey Chin, she's going to be okay buddy"  
"She didn't say that Steve"  
Danny added, "Hey Chin, come on brother…..you have to stay positive. She's alive babe"  
Chin couldn't speak, the lump was so large in his throat that it hurt to even swallow. He nodded to his friends and sat back down at the table.  
Danny went to grab them all coffee and they sat at the table to wait for the Doctor.

Danny moved to the side of the room to call Rachel and his Dad while the other's visited.  
Chin inquired, "Steve, how are you feeling?"  
Steve grinned at his friend, "Don't worry about me"  
Chin smiled weakly, "Are you kidding me? If I stopped worrying about you, Kono would kick my ass"  
The SEAL smiled broadly at the response, "God I love that girl"  
Danny joined them about twenty minutes later, "Well….Rachel and the kids are at my folks place now. Gracie's having a good time with her cousins"  
Steve asked, "How are Mom and Dad?" Catherine smiled at her man. Steve had gone to New Jersey on vacation a couple of years ago with Danny and Grace and he had been injured severely in a bear attack. Maggie and Bob Williams had taken an instant liking to the SEAL and had been by his side with their son and granddaughter as he recovered. By the time the men had returned to Hawaii, Steve McGarrett was unofficially their adopted son.

Danny grinned at his partner, "Dad's holding up but Mom's having a really hard time with it"  
Steve said quietly, "Danny, you need to leave. Denning's plane is here….take Matty home. Your family needs you"  
Danny spoke softly, "I can't leave until I'm sure Kono's okay. You're my family too you know"  
Chin added, "Danny, he's right. I'll stay with her"  
"Guys, I love you…and thank you, but a couple of more days is not going to be a problem"  
Their attention turned as Doctor Clark entered the room and approached the table.

He motioned to them saying, "Sit down" He then pulled a chair next to Chin.  
He smiled, "She came through surgery well. She's a very strong young lady"  
The relief on Chin's face was obvious, "Yes she is Doctor…Oh God, thank you….thank you. When can we see her?"  
"She'll be moved to her room in a couple of hours. You can all see her briefly but only one of you can remain overnight. I was able to suction most of the blood from her lung but I will keep a drainage tube inserted for a couple of days. The bullet caused quite a bit of arterial damage around the lung as well so I have inserted a chest tube. Infections are always a high risk with wounds like this so we'll be watching her very closely. The next forty eight hours will be crucial. Do you have any questions?"

Chin responded, "Not right now. Thank you for taking such good care of her Doctor"  
"You're welcome Mr. Kelly" Doctor Clark shook their hands and after explaining that a Nurse would come and get them once Kono was settled in her room, he left them.

A short while later Steve stated, "I'm going to go get a breath of fresh air if you guys don't mind"  
Catherine added, "I'll go with you"  
They were all a bit taken aback as Steve responded, "No….I need a few minutes alone alright?"  
Cath responded though clearly hurt…"Okay"  
As Steve exited the room, Danny said "Catherine, don't take it personally…he gets a little edgy when one of us is hurt"  
Chin added, "It doesn't help that he isn't feeling his best either"  
Catherine smiled, "I know. I'm just worried about him, that's all"

They would all have been even more worried if they knew why Steve needed to be alone…...

**50505050505050505050505050505050**

Steve had noticed it when he and Catherine had entered the Hospital and he decided he had to do this.  
As he exited the elevator he walked straight into the hospital's pharmacy.  
A pharmacist came to the counter, "Can I help you Sir"  
Steve pulled out his wallet and took out the two prescriptions that Doctor Ramerez had written for him. He handed them over along with his insurance card, drivers' license and Police ID.  
"I'll fill these right away Mr. McGarrett. It should only take about ten minutes"  
Steve nodded, "Thank you" He moved to a chair and sat. He hated doing this but the pains had been so bad. He didn't want anyone to have to worry about him. Danny needed to worry about his family, not him…and now Kono…He needed something to help him with the pain. He needed to get through these next few days. He had to be there for Danny, Chin and Kono…he just needed a little help, nobody needed to know. He had told the Doctor no drugs, but this morning when Cath was in the bathroom and he was getting clothes together for Danny and Chin, he saw the written prescriptions on the dresser and he made the decision. He needed the pain medication…just for the next few days.  
Once he had paid for the medication and a bottle of water he went outside. The rain had let up but it was still misting. He sat on a bench beneath the canopy overhang and he sighed deeply. With a shaky hand Steve opened the bottle, popping two pain pills. He then put the bottles into the pocket of his cargo pants, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. His abdomen was cramping and he felt horribly nauseated.

About fifteen minutes passed before he sensed a presence next to him. Without opening his eyes, he knew it was Danny.  
"Sorry partner"  
"What are you sorry for?"  
"I haven't been much help lately"  
"Are you kidding me? Steven, you've been through hell….you've got nothing to apologize for. You've helped me every step of the way, just by being here brother"

"Thanks Danno"  
"So tell me…and no BS….how bad is your pain?"  
"Don't worr….."  
Danny interrupted him, "No bullshit Steve. I can get meds to help you"  
"I'm good Danno, don't worry about me"  
"You're really full of shit McGarrett"  
"Now that's not a very nice thing to say partner"  
Danny chuckled, "But it's the truth babe. Are you ready to go back inside?"  
"Yeah, let's go"

Soon they were back inside. Catherine had gone to the cafeteria and picked up sandwiches, milk, fruit and chips for them all.  
As he sat next to her, Cath asked "Are you okay?"  
"Yes…..…sorry. I just needed a few minutes. I love you"  
"No problem, I love you too"  
After eating Steve called Governor Denning to fill him in on the capture and deaths of the Washington drug agents.

It was after five o'clock when the Nurse came to take them to Kono.  
She was very pale and was hooked up to a ventilator to assist her breathing. Along with the drainage and chest tubes she had wires attached to her chest monitoring her heart rate. She had IV needles in her hands pumping saline, antibiotics and pain medication into her body. She was also still receiving another blood transfusion.  
Chin stood on one side of the bed, gently rubbing his cousin's arm. Her eyes opened slowly and Chin leaned in close to her, talking soothingly, "Hey cous' we're all here with you. Don't try to talk….you've got a tube in your throat to help you breathe"

Her eyes turned and locked on Steve at her other side. "Hi sweetheart. You're doing great" A tear slid from the corner of her eye and Steve tenderly wiped if away with his thumb. "They're not going to let us all stay so Chin is going to take care of you. We'll be back up in the morning, so you sleep now. I love you" He leaned in and kissed her cheek and then stepped aside so Danny could talk to her.

The blonde detective smiled down at her, "You sure know how to scare us Kono. The Doc says you're going to be fine though. You just need to do what the boss man says and sleep" He also kissed her cheek and said softly, "I love you"  
Kono's eyes closed and after Chin promised he would call if he needed anything Steve, Cath and Danny left for the night.

******** Sorry for the shorter chapter but I didn't get as much time to write this weekend as I had hoped - thanks for reading and I'd love to hear what you think ********


	62. Chapter 62

******** First, I really want to apologize for the delay (DELAYS) in posting…. I LOVE my job and am so grateful that's I've been so busy but it has really cut into my writing time (LOL) - The story is all finished in my head (as is my next story), I just have to find the time to get it from my head onto the pages ! This is by far the longest it has ever taken me to complete a story and I thank you all for your patience. I appreciate all the hits, follows and comments very much. Believe me when I say that hearing people like what you write does give you the desire to keep writing even when 'real life' becomes overwhelming, so THANK YOU ! ********

Danny drove them back to the Motel room and then while Steve called Chief Jessup, he and Cath took wet towels to the SUV and cleaned the back seat of Kono's blood.

Once done Catherine remained in the room while the two detectives drove to meet Jessup at the police station.  
He had agreed to let the two detectives sit in with him while he further interrogated the sole-surviving suspect in the plot, Luke Riley.  
Danny was driving and glancing over at him, Steve could see the anger and tension on his partner's face.  
"You sure you want to do this Danny?"  
Danny raised his eyebrow as he looked at his partner, "Are you serious Steve?"  
"Yes, I'm serious. You don't need to put yourself through this. You've been through enough, I can handle this alone"  
Danny smirked, laughing softly "You're unbelievable, you know that?"  
"What?"  
"You've been tortured and pumped full of meth, and instead of being at home and healing, you're here for me…"  
Steve responded, "Of course I'm here for you D' and...… I always will be here for you"

A few minutes of silence passed between the men as each of them played over in their minds what the other one had been through…...  
Danny had watched Steve suffer so much over the last ten days, physically and mentally…..and all because of Matthew.

And Steve had watched Danny go through the personal, painful loss of his beloved brother. He had made the choice of going after Matthew on his own and now as the haze of the drugs was beginning to clear from his mind he couldn't help but wonder….would things have turned out differently if Danny had gone with him? Not only had he put the people he cherished the most through the hell of thinking he was dead, but for what? Matt was dead…and although Danny told him he forgave him, did he really?

Steve's thoughts were interrupted as Danny asked, "Hey, are you alright?"  
"What?"  
"You got pretty quiet"  
"Just thinking"  
"Care to share?"  
Steve knew that now wasn't the time to bring this up so he stated simply, "I'm good, I promise….I'm just worried about Kono"  
"Yeah…I know"

They drove on in silence, pulling into the police station a little before seven thirty.

**505050505050505050505050505050**

The men were led into Chief Jessup's office and after pouring themselves coffee's they sat at the Chief's desk.

Jessup began, "Men, I first want to offer my apologizes and condolences to you both. Mr. Williams, you and your family have suffered the ultimate loss with the death of your brother and Commander McGarrett, you risked your life and suffered greatly to save Matthew from this vicious cartel assuming he would be protected under our watch. He was entrusted into the care of the Stearns County Police Department, and we failed him and you horribly. I am truly sorry for what you, your team and your family have endured"

The detective's watched the Chief closely, both seeing in him genuine sincerity.  
Danny stood, reaching out his hand. The Chief rose and taking Danny's hand firmly in his, they shook "Thank You Chief. You are a good man and I don't blame you for this"

Steve also stood and shaking hands with the Chief he stated, "Thank you Sir for all you've done. I know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you trust, it can be crippling. I hope that you understand that this is not a reflection of your leadership. Stay strong, stay convicted, you did nothing wrong in trusting your men. They strayed from their oath, not you"

Chief Jessup responded to both men, clearly appreciative of their comments "Thank you both. I will admit this has hit me very hard. The men I knew were good cops and decent men"  
Danny added, "Money can corrupt even the best man Chief"

The Chief sighed and then continued, "I wanted to talk to you both and give you a chance to be with me when I offer Luke Riley his plea deal. I am set to offer him twenty years without the possibility of parole. As a cop, he will need to serve his sentence separated from the general prison population and will be confined to his cell 23 hours a day. Are you two comfortable with those terms?"

Danny asked, "Tell me a little bit about him Chief?"  
"He's twenty five years old and engaged to be married. He graduated at the top of his class at the academy and after three years of stellar service he was transferred to the drug unit. He received special accommodations twice, once in his rookie year. A raid went wrong and his partner was killed. Before backup arrived he personally took out three perps and rescued a teenage hostage. The second accommodation was received last year for his undercover work on a drug case. His work resulted in the apprehension and conviction of a cocaine dealer who was targeting local high schools"

Danny stood and sighing deeply he moved to the large window in the room. They were all quiet for several moments before Danny spoke, "So he was a good man…...I think the sentence is too severe Chief" He turned and faced the others, "Steve, if you're okay with this….I think the sentence should be ten years"

Jessup was stunned, "Are you sure about this?"  
Danny responded, "Chief, if you get right down to it….this guy didn't kill Matty and it's obvious that Dern was the ring leader. There's been enough death, enough lives ruined. I leave it up to you..….you know the man. If you think he can serve his sentence and become a productive member of society upon his release, then that's what I recommend"

Jessup looked to Steve, "Commander?"  
"I agree with my partner...… but you make the call sir"  
"I think you should listen to him first and ask any questions you may have. He knows that Dern is dead and he knows about Kono. My concern is that there's something he hasn't told me"

Steve responded, "Let's talk to him Chief"  
As the three men left to move to the interrogation room Steve squeezed his partner's shoulder and nodded to him, smiling softly.

**505050505050505050505050505050**

They entered the interrogation room to find Luke Riley sitting at the cold steel table. His hands were cuffed in front of him and his feet were shackled. He looked at Jessup and then as he glanced at Steve and Danny, he clearly became nervous. His voice shook slightly as he nodded, saying simply "Chief"

Chief Jessup took a seat directly across from the prisoner with the two detectives standing on either side of him.  
"Luke, you know who these men are and they want answers"  
Riley didn't hesitate a moment. "Nothing I can say to the two of you will change anything that's been done and I will not even attempt to diminish my role in this. When Dern can to me and told me what he was planning to do I was in total shock"

Steve asked, "Why do you think he came to you with this?"  
Riley sighed, "Chief…. I need to come clean" The young man was literally shaking as he continued, "Michael Dern was a cocaine addict. The undercover operation last year with the dealer targeting high schools...he never stopped using...….oh shit Chief, I should have come to you right away"

Riley was quiet for several moments before Jessup said softly, "I told you Luke, he's dead…...I need to know everything, and I need to know now"

Riley continued, "I'm ashamed that I let it happen. I should have been brave enough to stand up to him...….the team had gone out for a few beers the night the case wrapped up. It was a Friday night and Michael left before midnight saying he had a headache. I left a few minutes after he did. When I was driving home I realized I had left my cellphone in Michael's office when we were writing up the case report. I saw his car in the lot when I pulled in, but I sure didn't expect to see what I did. He didn't hear me coming and I walked in on him snorting coke. He had the evidence box on his desk along with a backpack full of coke. Damn it Chief….he was stealing the fucking evidence. Why didn't I come to you? Basically, I was scared to death. He was a seventeen year veteran and I knew about his relationship with you. He had taken down the ring that killed your son and it had led to an addiction that he never beat. He feared for his job and he convinced me to stay quiet about the drugs. A few weeks later I told him he needed help and that night, the two of us were alone on a stake out when Gabriel Paranda showed up. We drove to a secluded location and Michael pulled his gun on me. He told me that I had two choices…..never again mention the coke and I could live, or go to you and look out over my shoulder until one of his 'connections' took care of me. When he told me about this plan a few weeks ago, he said he needed my backup and he made it pretty clear that I had no option. Chief, I know I should have come to you…and now I'll pay for my mistake for the rest of my life. I wasn't brave enough to stand up to him, I'm sorry" He looked from the Chief to Steve and Danny, "As I said, I am not diminishing my role in any of this. I should have stopped him…..I could have stopped him. All I can say to you is that I am deeply ashamed of my actions. I am truly sorry for the death of your brother Detective Williams and for the injuries you suffered Commander McGarrett. The Chief has told me what happened to Miss Kalakaua and I pray that she'll be okay"

Chief Jessup looked at Danny who nodded to him affirmatively.  
Jessup addressed Riley, "Luke, I told these fine men of my plans to offer you a twenty year sentence with no chance of parole. They asked me if I felt you could be rehabilitated. I feel you definitely can be and now after hearing what you've told me, those feelings are even stronger. You're a young man who served honorably, but the decisions you've made have erased all of the good and that's truly a shame. I wish you had come to me, but now you must pay for what you've done. These men would like your sentence to be ten years, no more, no less and know that for your protection you will be held in solitary with only one hour a day outside your cell"

Luke Riley looked at the two 5-0 detectives, "I don't even know what to say…thank you. You have given me an opportunity to do my time and still have a chance to start over. Thank You"

Danny looked at him coldly, "I want you to understand something Riley. My brother made a mistake and he was paying for it dearly by living in witness protection and being separated from his family. Your decision as a group to kill him for money…..and to try to kill us is something you have to live with for the rest of your life. I want you to know that Matthew was loved by me, our parents our sisters and his nieces and nephews and we all mourn for him. He made a horrible mistake but he was good man and he didn't deserve to die. You've done good things but you too made a horrible mistake. I don't ever want you to forget our faces, or Matthew...…but I want you to have a second chance at life and I forgive you"

Luke Riley was sobbing as he looked at the blonde detective, "I swear to you I will never forget Matt or either of you. If I could take back what happened I would. I promise I will serve my time and I will make something of my life when I'm released. I will never, ever again compromise my values…you've given me my life back and I thank you"

Steve then spoke, "Don't give us a reason to regret it"  
"I won't sir"  
Jessup then added, "I'll have the paperwork drafted up in the morning and then we'll transfer you to the prison Riley"  
The young man was obviously grateful as he responded in a voice shaken with emotion, "Yes sir, thank you...all of you"  
The three men left the interrogation room and returned to the Chief's office.

******* MORE TO FOLLOW – hope you'll let me know what you think ! *******


	63. Chapter 63

The three men sat and chatted for several minutes before Jessup stated, "I should have known that Dern was still using, God how did I miss that?"  
Danny shook his head, "Trust me Chief….it's easy to miss. I worked with the drug unit in New Jersey for seven years and I can tell you that addicts have different tolerance levels. I guarantee you he did everything he could to hide his addiction from you and from his team. It makes sense as to why he jumped at the chance for a big payday here…...coke addiction isn't cheap"

Steve added, "Chief, you couldn't have known"  
"He became addicted because of me"  
Danny watched as Steve spoke to the clearly distraught man "No Chief….he became addicted due to the hazards of his job. He accepted that position and that assignment, you weren't holding a gun to his head. We all have to live with our choices Chief. He became addicted and that's horrible….I know. But you did everything you could for him, you got him help. He wasn't honest with you about his problem….and Chief, that was HIS choice"

Chief Jessup looked at the two men, "Thank you both. What are your plans?"  
Steve replied, "Once we're certain Kono is out of danger, Danny, Catherine and I will take Matt back to New Jersey. Chin will stay here with her. If things go okay, I figure we'll leave day after tomorrow"  
They visited for a few more minutes before the men all shook hands and as they left, Jessup promised he would contact them if anything new came up.

As Danny pulled the SUV from Police Headquarters he glanced over at his partner. Steve's words from a few minutes ago raced through his mind, _'you did everything you could for him, you got him help. He wasn't honest with you about his problem'_  
"Steve….."  
Steve waited several seconds, "Yes, Danny?"  
"How are you doing?"  
"What do you mean? I'm fine"  
"You know what I mean Steven. A few days ago I was planning your fucking funeral and trying to come to grips with losing you. Then you're back and I'm wading through a brook in Hawaii looking at you bleeding and thinking you had put a damn bullet into your brain!"

Tears were streaking down Danny's cheeks and Steve said softly, "Pull over Danny"  
"No, no…..I'm fine"  
"Pull the fucking car over Danny NOW!"  
Danny did as he was told and then he turned to face the SEAL, "I'm sorry Steve. I haven't been there for you"  
"What are you talking about D? You've been with me every minute"  
"Physically, yes…..yes, I have been but….damn it Steve, why are you so damn stubborn. You need help and I should have insisted on you going into treatment. You've been through so much pain..."

"Danny, I need you to listen to me and listen good. I would have to go through the pain either way. Going into treatment doesn't make the pain any less, you know that! Withdrawal is hell and treatment gives you a support system, but it's only an aid" Steve's voice shook with emotion as he added, "I don't need treatment Danny, I've got the best support system ever…..I've got you"

Danny Williams couldn't talk…..something that didn't happen very often with him.  
Steve continued, "I'm okay buddy, really I am. We need to concentrate on Kono now and….and Matt. Now tell me, are YOU okay?"  
Danny nodded, "Yeah…yeah I'm sorry babe, I'm just worried you know"  
"I know, and hey….thank you"  
Danny pulled back onto the road and as they drove back to the Motel, Steve phoned Chin.

"Hey Steve, how did it go with Jessup?"  
"Good man, things are wrapped up. How is she?"  
"She's sleeping comfortably, no problems"  
"Good…we sure deserved some good news didn't we?"  
"That's for sure brother"  
Steve then filled his friend in on the details of their meeting with Jessup and Riley. After agreeing that Chin would call if her condition worsened they said their goodbyes with the understanding they would be up at the hospital around nine o'clock in the morning. They then stopped at a grocery store to pick up deli meats and cheeses along with coleslaw and pasta salads for dinner.

When they arrived at the Motel Steve excused himself to go take a shower as the others ate. He stood at the kitchen sink looking into the mirror. He could understand why Danny was concerned. He still looked horrible. The bruising and swelling from his beating had improved but the bruising around the head wounds was still raw and colorful. But it was his eyes that looked so bad. They were bruised and still sunken…..God, he LOOKED like an addict. Taking his hand, he ran it across his injured shoulder. He looked closely at his injured hand which was healing well. He hated himself for not being totally honest with Danny, but he was suffering too much right now. He didn't need any extra burdens right now.

Oh God he hurt! His gut hurt so fucking bad. Picking his pants up off the bathroom floor he pulled the pain pills from the pocket and popped two more pills saying to himself...…._'it's just too get me through the next few days, that's all' _He then jumped into the shower and as the hot water pelted his aching flesh, he sobbed.

**5050505050505050505050505050505050**

When they arrived at the hospital the next morning Kono was still sleeping. Danny handed Chin a bagel, cream cheese and coffee as Steve moved to the bedside. He stood looking down at his beloved Kono tenderly stroking her cheek. A few minutes passed before her eyes slowly opened. "Hey good morning bright eyes" He could see the pain and confusion in her eyes as he added, "You're okay baby, relax. Don't try to talk, you've still got a tube in your throat to help you breath. We're all here and we love you. Blink twice for me if you're in pain Kono"

Chin had moved to the bedside and as Kono blinked twice indicating pain he spoke, "I'll get a Nurse"  
Steve continued to stroke her cheek while holding her hand tightly with his other hand, "Squeeze my hand baby, we'll get you something for the pain. You're doing so great, close your eyes and relax…..relax"

Moments later the Nurse was releasing a dose of morphine into Kono's arm and as the she felt the cold liquid enter her veins she was comforted by Steve's soft voice, "I'm here Kono, sleep now….ssshhhhh, sleep….." Moments later the drugs took her under and the four friends moved to the side of the room to visit.

The Doctor came in, mid-morning to examine her and remove the breathing tube. Chin stayed in the room with her as the others stepped into the hallway. They were chatting quietly when the Doctor exited the room.  
Steve inquired, "How is she doing Doctor?"  
"Good, excellent actually. She's breathing on her own. She is in pain, but that's normal. She'll sleep a lot for the next couple of days and I'll keep the chest tube in place for now"

Danny asked, "How long do you figure she'll be here?"  
"At least a week, maybe ten days. I need to insure that no infection settles into her lung or chest cavity but for now, she's doing well"  
Steve let out a deep sigh of relief, "So she's going to be okay?"  
"She's young and very strong. My only concern would be infection but there are no signs of that at this time"  
The three all smiled broadly and after thanking the Doctor they made their way back into the room.

As the Doctor stated, Kono slept most of the day. Steve and Danny used the time to make arrangements to fly to New Jersey the next day. Chin would stay with Kono and after four days in New Jersey Catherine would fly back to Hawaii in time to catch her flight back to the Gulf. Depending on Kono's condition, Steve and Danny would fly back to Washington, or if she was doing well they would first fly to San Diego so Steve could see Emily.

At about four o'clock Kono was awake, coherent and talkative.  
They all sat around the bed and visited, explaining their plans to leave for New Jersey in the morning.  
A tear slipped from Kono's eye as she said, "Danny…..I'm so sorry that I can't be there for you"  
Danny stood and leaning over he kissed her forehead and brushed the tear away, "Hey, no tears sweetheart" He smiled as he continued, "We're just so grateful that you're going to be okay Kono….I'm sorry that I need to leave. I'm trying to convince Superman to stay here with you…"

She interrupted him, "Danny, please….I'll feel much better if Steve's with you….I'm fine"  
"You're fine huh? You sound more like him every day you know that?" Steve grinned as they both glanced at him.  
Kono then added, "I don't remember much about what happened but Chin tells me you saved my life Danny…..thank you"  
He smiled saying softly, "You're welcome, I love you"  
"I love you too Danny"

They visited for a couple of hours with Steve filling Kono and Catherine in on everything that happened with Luke Riley.  
Catherine looked at Danny asking in amazement, "How could you do that Danny? He was responsible for Matt's death. I would have wanted him to rot in prison for the rest of his life"

Danny sighed, "A part of me wanted that Catherine, but my last conversation with Matt…..he was depressed. He was tired of living on the run, tired of paying for his mistake. I looked at Riley and saw my brother in him. Matty made a mistake but he didn't deserve to die because of it. Riley doesn't deserve to pay for this mistake forever. Ten years in virtual isolation is plenty long"

Cath shook her head, "You're an amazing man Danny Williams"  
Steve squeezed her hand adding, "Yes he is. And he's a hell of a partner and friend"  
Chin added, "Amen brother…Amen"

A short time later they all said their goodbyes to Kono. Chin was leaving for the night as well so he could drive them to the airport in the morning.  
Steve was the last to talk to her. She looked up at him saying emotionally, "You take good care of him Boss"  
"You know I will honey. I'll call you every day. You just need to do one thing….rest and get better. That's what we all need. I love you"  
He leaned over and kissed her cheek tenderly as she said softly, "I love you too"  
He ran his fingers across her forehead, "Sleep now Kono. I'll talk to you tomorrow"  
She closed her eyes and Steve lingered at her side for several minutes before turning and leaving the room.

********* More to follow…. ***********


	64. Chapter 64

Steve tried to sleep without taking pain meds because he had taken two pills while at the hospital late that afternoon. At about one in the morning he decided he had no choice. He needed sleep and the cramping had become overwhelming. He had rolled onto his side a while ago turning his back to Cath, trying not to wake her. Leaning over the side of the bed he reached into the pocket of his cargo pants and without water he popped two more pills. He rolled over onto his back clutching tightly to his side just under his ribcage. He raised his other arm, draping it across his face. He was sweating and breathing heavily. He lay still battling the pain silently and alone until the medication finally pulled him into unconsciousness.

Catherine's movements next to him woke Steve and a little after seven o'clock.  
He rolled over and kissed her lips lightly, "Good Morning"  
She smiled back at him, "Good Morning. Everyone's still sleeping. Go back to sleep and I'll wake you when I'm done showering"  
He kissed her again saying slyly, "I need a shower too..."  
She chuckled, "Steven John McGarrett...you be good now"  
"Okay, I'll be good...Cath…..I love you so much"  
"I know honey, I love you too"

She kissed him again and then leaving him to his thoughts she went into the bathroom.  
Steve was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He took the pain meds only six hours ago and yet he needed more already…SHIT he hated this! His mind drifted to everything that had happened over the last few days. Danny always called him a 'danger magnet' and he sure was right about that. Tears pooled in his eyes as he thought of everyone he had loved and everyone he had lost. What was wrong with him? It was one thing for him to risk his own life but look at everyone he had harmed. He couldn't do this anymore. Once Danny and Kono were okay he had to leave. He couldn't endanger those he loved ever again. Hearing the bathroom door open he quickly wiped his eyes and as Catherine moved to her suitcase he slipped out of bed, grabbed his pants and moved into the bathroom without saying a word.

He used the bathroom and then with a shaky hand he popped two more pills before exiting the room. Cath was standing at the sink outside the bathroom fixing her hair. He moved up behind her and placing his arms around her waist, nestling his face into the crook of her neck. She stood still, enjoying her lovers strong embrace for several seconds before turning in his arms to face him. She saw something she rarely saw in Steve, a sadness in his eyes that alarmed her. She touched his cheek tenderly, "Steve? What's wrong?"  
Steve's upper lip quivered with emotion, "Nothing's wrong baby…..I just love you so much"  
"Are you in pain?"  
The SEAL smirked, "It's nothing I can't handle…I'm worried about Kono and Danny, that's all"  
She spoke softly, "I know you're worried. You've been through so much Steve. I love you and I wish I didn't have to leave so soon"  
"You've got four more days Cath"  
"Only four more days…" Tears slid down her cheeks, "God baby, I don't want to leave you"  
He kissed her cheek tasting the salty tears, "Ssshhh, don't cry. I don't want you to leave either baby, but duty calls"  
"I'm so worried about you Steve"  
"Hey, come on. You know me…..I'll be fine…..I always am"  
She placed her head against his chest listening to his pounding heart. He held her tightly, wishing he never had to let her go but he knew… things were never going to be the same again. They couldn't be. He loved her enough to let her go. He could never risk Catherine being hurt, he just couldn't. He loved her with all his heart and if anything happened to her he could never forgive himself.

Their moment of tenderness was interrupted by Danny as he walked past them, scratching his belly and yawning, "Good Morning"  
Steve chuckled, "Good Morning partner"  
As the bathroom door closed behind Danny, Steve placed his thumb and forefinger on Cath's chin pulling it upward. No words were spoken as he peppered her perfect lips with soft, gentle kisses.  
As they separated she spoke softly, "You should get dressed"  
"Yeah.…it's going to be a tough day"  
"We'll get through it baby, together"  
As Catherine turned back to the sink, Steve moved to his bag to grab a change of clothes.

As the men were finishing up Catherine walked down to the office and paid cash for the room for another week.  
Within the hour Chin was driving them to the airstrip.

**505050505050505050505050505050**

As they said their goodbyes Chin pulled Danny aside, "Danny, I'm sorry we can't be with you brah"  
Grasping hands Danny responded, "You're with me man, I know that. You take care of Kono for us and promise you'll call us if her condition changes"  
"I will brother. Danny…" Chin lowered his voice, "Danny…..watch him carefully"  
Danny shot him a look of concern, "Why? What are you seeing?"  
"I don't know. He just seems off a bit"  
"I know he's trying not to show us the pain he's in"  
"It's more than that Danny. I've noticed a look in his eyes, a sadness...he seems depressed"  
Danny ran a hand through his hair "I'll watch him…...we'll call you in a few hours"  
"Okay, Danny. Please send condolences to your family from Kono and I"  
"I will…...thanks buddy"

As Chin drove from the scene the three moved towards the private plane that awaited them. Chief Jessup and the County Coroner were standing next to the hearse by the plane.

The casket carrying Matthew had already been placed onto the plane and after thanking the two men for their help, the trio boarded and soon were in the air. They were all sitting quietly, contemplating the journey before them. Danny had spoken to his Dad last night and his parents, sisters and two brothers-in-law would all be meeting them at the airfield in Jersey. Danny's Dad, Bob had made all the funeral arrangements and a hearse would be on site to transport Matt. Rachel had volunteered to sit with Gracie, Charlie and all the nieces and nephews at the Williams' home. Danny smiled at the thought of Rachel and his parents. They had always loved her so dearly and they had been crushed when the marriage had ended. And although Danny didn't feel quite ready to state that they would re-marry, he knew that they would be thrilled to hear that the two had started seeing each other again. He had decided that he wasn't going to mention the possibility of Charlie being their grandson at this point though. He clearly remembered the disappointment in his Mother's voice when he had called her to tell her that Charlie was Stan's son. He wasn't going to make that mistake again.

They had only been in the air about half an hour when Danny heard Cath address Steve.  
"Steve? Honey are you okay?"  
Opening his eyes he looked across the aisle to see Steve bent forward in his seat, his hands grasping at the sides of his head. Danny unbuckled his seat belt and in seconds he was kneeling in front of his partner.

Danny grabbed hold of Steve's wrists and leaned close to him, talking softly "Steve…what is it? What's wrong?"  
"My head. Shit it hurts like hell"  
Danny could feel the tension in his partner's arms indicating the pain was severe. Danny looked at Cath, "Do you have any Advil or Tylenol?"  
"Yeah" She reached under the seat grabbing her purse and pulling out a bottle of Tylenol.  
Danny asked, "Cath can you go up front and get some water?"  
She did as he asked, returning as Danny was easing Steve back into the seat. He was ghostly white and his eyes were clenched shut.

She opened up the bottle of water as Danny brought three capsules to Steve's lips, "Here babe, take these"  
Keeping his eyes closed, Steve asked "What are they?"  
"It's Tylenol Steve, don't argue with me now…..just take them"  
His lips parted and Danny slipped the pills into his mouth. Cath then brought the water to his lips and his took several swallows. He was sweating profusely as Catherine gently caressed his cheek, talking to him soothingly, "Relax Steve, you'll be okay….relax now"

Several minutes passed before Steve stated groggily, "I'm so dizzy"  
Still kneeling at his side Danny responded, "Remember buddy, you've got a concussion. I'm sure it's the altitude fucking you up. Try to sleep and we'll be there before you know it"

Danny went to the bathroom and returned with a wet cloth that he handed to Catherine. Steve's eyes remained closed and he was shivering as Cath dabbed at his face and neck. Danny went to a small closet located at the back of the plane and returned with a pillow and blanket.  
"Steve, do you want me to lay your seat back?"  
"Yeah….just a bit please"  
After reclining his seat back Danny lifted his head gently, slipping the pillow underneath it, then covering him with the blanket. Danny then moved back to his seat, watching as Catherine continued to wipe Steve's face and comfort him. He thought of Chin's words to watch out for Steve. He knew his partner was ill, horribly ill. He watched as the SEAL's faced contorted in pain and he clutched at his belly. The man was so damn tough and he rarely complained. Danny knew that Steve wasn't being totally honest with him about his degree of pain. The man should be home in bed, well actually he should be in re-hab but he knew he would never be able to convince him to go there. Danny tipped his head back and sighed, praying that God would watch over Steve, Kono, and all of them over the next few days.

After several minutes he opened his eyes and looked back over at Steve. Catherine smiled, saying quietly, "He's sleeping"  
Danny returned the smile and leaning back he closed his eyes.

**505050505050505050505050505050**

Steve slept until the plane began its descent. It was obvious that the pressure on his head was horrible and Catherine held his hand tightly. Once on the ground Danny was at his side in moments checking on him.  
"Hey, you okay?"  
"Yeah…..yeah, 'm good"  
"You don't look so hot babe"  
"Yeah, well thanks a lot buddy"  
Danny smiled down at his friend, "Why don't you sit here for a few minutes until you're ready. It's going to take us a while to get Matty off the plane"  
Steve reached out his hand which Danny grasped tightly, "Okay Danno….we'll be out soon"  
Steve watched as Danny grabbed all their bags and exited the plane.

******** Hope you're still enjoying ! I'd love to hear from you and THANKS for reading ! *********


	65. Chapter 65

Danny exited the plane and was greeted by his loving family with hugs, kisses and many, many tears as they mourned their son and brother.  
Danny held his Mother tightly as she wept uncontrollably in his arms saying over and over again, "Oh Daniel, why? Not my baby boy, oh why?" She was shaking with emotion and all he could do was hold her, but at that moment that's what she needed most. To feel her son, to know he was safe and that he was home, even if only for a few days.

Steve and Catherine exited the plane about ten minutes later to be met with the same love and affection. Steve knew them all from his previous visit and he introduced Catherine, who extended her condolences as well.  
Still supported by her son's strong grip, Maggie Williams turned to Steve.  
He looked at her lovingly, "Hello Maggie"  
She gasped at the sight of his bruised and battered face, reaching out and touching him tenderly, "Oh Steven….what did they do to you?"

Danny released his grasp on her as she put her arms around Steve, he returned the loving embrace.  
He spoke softly, his voice choked with emotion "I'm so so sorry Maggie. I tried to save him, I'm so sorry"  
Hearing the distress in his voice she took his face into her hands, "Steve, we know you did everything you could do my dear boy. We know that. This is not your fault and we are eternally grateful for all you did for Matthew. His death was brought about by his poor decisions and ultimately that falls back on to Bob and I"

Tears were streaming down both their faces as Steve said, "No Maggie…you and Bob raised all your children to be good and honorable people, and Matthew was. He just made a mistake….a human mistake and he never should have paid for that with his life. He was a good man, a very good man. You did nothing wrong Maggie, please believe me on that"

She reached up and kissed Steve's bruised cheek, "Bless you my dear"  
Bob Williams stepped in and took hold of his wife as airline personnel moved towards them with Matthew's casket. The sobs of the Williams' family was audible as they watched Danny and Steve assist in lifting the casket into the waiting hearse. Once the door was closed, Bob joined Danny and Steve in thanking the airline personnel and Bob turned to the Funeral Home director saying softly, "I need to schedule a time to see my son today"

Danny grabbed his Dad's arm, "Pops, no…you don't want to see him"  
"Danny, he's MY SON, I have to see him"  
Steve added, "Bob….Danny's right. You don't want to see him like this…you don't want to remember him this way"  
Danny voice shook as he added, "Dad….trust us on this….please"  
Tears slipped from the large man's eyes as he simply nodded in agreement. Danny shook the directors' hand and said, "Thank You sir. Please call my parent's house if you have any questions, otherwise we'll see you tomorrow afternoon"

The men watched as the hearse pulled away and soon they were all in vehicles, heading to the William's home.

**5050505050505050505050505050505050**

They spent the day at Bob and Maggie Williams' home, sitting on the deck, visiting and sharing stories of Matthew as the children ran around playing happily on the lush green grass which covered the large back yard. There was a swing set, tree fort and sandbox which keep them all joyfully occupied.

Steve and Catherine listened intently as Danny and his sisters talked about their brother. Most of the stories turned to how Matty was always trying to keep up with his big brother, and how much he idolized Danny. There were many tears shed, but also many smiles and laughs at the memories of 'little Matty'. A couple of hours after arriving Steve excused himself to go use the restroom. Rachel was sitting next to Danny and as Steve entered the house he leaned close to him, asking softly, "How is he doing?"  
Danny shook his head, "I don't know babe. I know he's in a lot of pain. I'm watching him carefully"  
"Honey…"  
Danny looked at her with a concerned gaze, "What Rach?"  
"I don't know Danny….it's his eyes….he seems so sad"  
"Well Rachel this isn't really a party atmosphere right now, you know"  
"Sweetheart that's not what I mean"  
Danny sighed, "I'm sorry honey, give me a minute…I need to check on him" He smiled at his siblings and excused himself, entering the house.

His parents were in the kitchen area putting sandwiches onto a platter. Bob looked up, "Is everything okay son?"  
Danny smiled at his parents, "Yeah Dad…I'll be right back" He moved into the living room and standing in front of a cabinet which prominently displayed photos of the family through the years, his eyes fixed on a picture from he and Rachel's wedding. He looked at his best man, Matthew…. beaming broadly.

Upstairs, Steve had thrown up and his head was still throbbing from the flight. Pushing up from the floor he rinsed his mouth and splashed water onto his face. He stood for several seconds watching the water swirl down the drain before pulling the pain pills from his pants pocket and this time he didn't take two pills…..he took three. He then left the bathroom and entering the living room he moved next to Danny.

Danny spoke first, "Hey, thank you for what you said to my parents' at the airport man"  
"It's the truth Danny. They aren't to blame for this"  
"Neither are you Steven and you need to remember that. How's your head?"  
"Don't worry about me Danno…..…I'm fine"  
"Steve, no bullshit…..please. How's your head?"  
"It hurts….I…..I just got sick"  
"Do you need to see a Doctor? The TRUTH now partner"  
Steve nodded, "No D', I promise….I'll be fine I'm just a little queasy"  
"You should lay down for a while okay"  
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea…..just for a few minutes okay"  
"Dad put you and Cath in the room upstairs, where you stayed last time. There should be some Tylenol in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom "  
"Okay, thanks partner" Danny watched as Steve slowly made his way up the stairs and once he heard the door close he re-entered the kitchen.

He looked at his parents and smiled softly, "Mom, Dad…..can I talk to you?"  
Bob responded, "Of course son" They moved to the kitchen table and sat down.  
Danny didn't waste any time, "I think you have a right to know everything that happened when the cartel members held Matt and Steve. I already told you, and you can see that Steve was beaten but I didn't tell you everything"

He continued as he watched his Dad take hold of his Mother's hand. "They pumped him full of crystal meth and he became addicted"  
Maggie Williams sobbed, "Of my God…... poor Steven….….."  
Bob then asked, "Why didn't you tell us this before Danny?"  
"I didn't see any need to worry you more than you already were and things were happening so fast"  
Maggie reached over and squeezed her son's hand, "It doesn't matter sweetheart. Tell us, what can we do for him?"  
"Nothing really. He's not himself right now. He's in a lot of pain, the drugs are out of his system but the withdrawal can last up to ninety days"  
"Can't the Doctor's help him?"  
Danny smirked, "Dad, we're taking about Steve here….that man doesn't do anything the easy way. The Doctors recommend slow withdrawal but Steve's going cold turkey"

Maggie asked, "What are his symptoms?"  
"Abdominal pains and cramping. The pain is made worse because of his broken and bruised ribs. He's exhausted and is having some nausea, dizziness and vomiting. Plus he's having headaches and…..seizures as a result of his concussion. As bad as the physical symptoms are though the mental and emotional issues are worse. He's had some nightmares…and….one of the worst symptoms is depression and suicidal thoughts"  
"Oh God Danny…no"  
"Mom, I'm watching him carefully, we all are. I don't mean to alarm you….."  
Bob jumped in, "Danny we're glad you told us. We love Steve too, you know that. He's suffering greatly as a result of helping our son"  
Danny added, "And you know what Pops, he's told me he would do it all over again if he had to"  
Maggie inquired, "Where is he now?"  
"He's laying down for a while" Danny saw the concern on his Mother's face, "Mom, he'll be okay…nobody's tougher"

They visited for a short while longer before taking the platter of sandwiches and drinks and joining the others back outside.

********** More to follow **********


	66. Chapter 66

******* I know this story has become a 'novel' and I do understand some people's frustration with its length. I can only say that when an idea plays out in your head and you start putting it onto pages, sometimes the length surprises you. I don't like leaving any loose ends and this story has included lots of 'tying up' - I can tell you that the end is coming soon ! I thank you for reading and I do truly appreciate any and all comments *******

Steve slept almost three hours and before joining the others he called and talked to both Chin and Kono. He was very relieved to hear Kono's voice which sounded much stronger today.

Stepping out onto the deck his attention was drawn instantly to the sounds of delight coming from the children. Catherine, Danny, his sisters and their husbands had joined the older kids in a game of kickball on the lawn. Maggie and Rachel were sitting with Charlie and two year old Dustin in the sandbox playing with Danny and Matt's old Tonka trucks.

Bob was leaning on the railing of the deck observing all this as Steve moved next to him.  
Bob turned his head towards him, "How are you feeling Steve?"  
"I'm fine Bob"  
"Danny told us everything. I don't know what to say Steve…I'm so sorry you're going through all this pain"  
"Bob, I can handle the physical pain. I wish to God that I could have done more...…..I would have died to save Matt"  
"I know you would have Steve, I don't doubt that at all"  
The men were quiet for several seconds. Steve sighed, "Telling Danny that Matt was dead and watching you all go through this has been terribly difficult"  
"Steve, hearing what you went through trying to help Matt and knowing what you do for Danny and Grace every day is very humbling. Thank you for always being there for Danny, my family is forever in your debt"

Steve was silent for several seconds before he stated softly, "Trust me Sir, Danny and Gracie do more for me every day than I could ever possibly do for them. They're my family…..…you're all my family"  
"I'm glad to hear you say that Steve because we all love you very much. You ARE family"  
Steve smiled at the man saying simply, "Thank You"

As if the SEAL needed even more assurance, Gracie came running up onto the deck flinging her arms around his waist hugging him tightly. "Hi Uncle Steve"  
"Hi baby, it looks like you're having a lot of fun. Is Danno very good?"  
"He's not as good as Auntie Melissa or Catherine"  
Steve made a funny face as he answered, "You better not tell him that"  
She giggled and then hugged her Grandpa, "Hi Grandpa"  
"Hello muchkin. Are you done playing?"  
"No, I just have to get some water" As she turned to enter the house she called out, "Do you want one Grandpa? Steve?"  
Bob responded, "Not me. Steve?"  
He turned and smiled at the child, "Yes please Gracie, that would be great. Thank You"

**505050505050505050505050505050**

Over the next two days they supported each other through what was the hardest thing for any family to endure. Burying a young, strong, healthy family member is torturous. Danny was there for his parents, his sister and his daughter… and Steve was there for him. If Danny knew the depth of trouble his partner was in he would have been terrified. Steve was now taking two to three pain pills every five to six hours and he wasn't sleeping more than four hours a night. His nightmares about his lost friends had now taken over his waking moments as well…..and the pain, oh God the pain was unbearable. He just had to get through these days for Danny. Once they were back home, he would stop taking the pills…..after this was over.

The morning after the funeral Danny drove Steve and Catherine to the airport. He waited in the car as Steve took her into the terminal to send her off. They stood by the window overlooking the runway holding onto each other.  
He spoke softly, "Thank you baby. Thank you for being here for me and for Danny"  
Tears fell from her eyes as she responded, "Steve, I don't want to go…..I don't want to leave you"  
"I don't want you to leave either. But we have no choice in the matter, do we? You'll be home soon"  
"No, no I won't be…not for six months. Six long months"  
"And just think, in six months I'll be able to take some time off and we can get away. Go somewhere like…..maybe a cruise?"  
They both chuckled at the thought. After six months on a ship, Cath wouldn't even want to LOOK at water!  
"Funny baby….real funny"  
"Okay, maybe we can go somewhere hot and dry"  
"After six months I would just as soon we check into a hotel and not leave the room for a week"  
Steve grinned, asking slyly, "And what would we do with a whole week alone?"  
She smiled and leaning in she kissed him passionately. As their lips parted, he said seductively, "Oh…..okay…..a week huh?"  
She responded breathlessly, "Yes...oh Steve, please take care of yourself"  
"I will…..you too" He paused briefly before adding emotionally, "Cath, I love you with all my heart. Please don't ever forget that"  
"I love you too"  
The final boarding announcement played overhead and after sharing one final kiss, Cath picked up her bag and moved to the gate. Before walking down the ramp, she turned, and smiling she blew him a kiss and then disappeared from view.

Steve stood staring at the now empty ramp for several minutes before sitting down. He sat with his elbows on his knees and burying his face into his hands, Steve cried. He was shaking as he mind raced, _'What's wrong with me?…Jesus Christ what's wrong with me? I can't see Cath in six months, I can't. All these years, that beautiful, loving woman has stood by me. She loves me even with all my trust and commitment issues. I've been so unfair to her…she deserves so much better' _He didn't want to keep Danny waiting any longer so he started his walk from the terminal. This was their last day in Jersey and Rachel and the kids were going to take him to the Jersey Shore so Danny could talk to his parents about his renewed relationship with Rachel.

As he entered the car Danny looked at him, "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah…."  
It was obvious to Danny that his partner was NOT 'okay' but he also knew the man well enough to know that now was not the time to talk about it either. They drove in silence for several miles before Danny spoke, "Hey, I talked to Chin and Kono while you were inside. She's doing a lot better today and they're going to remove the chest tube"  
Steve turned to face him, "That's fantastic"  
"So I figure we should be able to fly to San Diego tomorrow"  
"Sounds good partner"  
"Hey buddy. I want you to know how much I appreciate you and Catherine being with me through this"  
Steve spoke softly while staring straight ahead "Danny…...you drive me crazy brother but I want you to know that you've changed my life and I love you"  
Danny noted the solemn demeanor of his friend and as he glanced over he now saw what Chin and Rachel had noticed, Steve was not only hurting physically but he was clearly depressed. Knowing he was going to have to watch Steve even more closely he replied, "I love you too Steve"

**505050505050505050505050505050**

When the men arrived back at the house, Maggie and Rachel had prepared a fantastic brunch.  
As they all visited and ate, Danny kept glancing at Steve. His partner was socializing and smiling when addressed but he did see it, the sadness in his usually bright eyes. He also twice caught Steve grimacing as his body was still wracked with pains.

After eating, Steve helped Rachel get Charlie into the car while Danny talked to Gracie.  
"Why can't you come with us Danno?"  
"Because Monkey, I need to talk to Grandma and Grandpa"  
"Is everything okay Daddy?"  
"Everything is fine baby I promise. I need you to do me a huge favor though okay?"  
"Uh..huh… what is it?"  
"I need you to HAVE FUN, and I need you to watch your Uncle Steve and make sure he has fun. Can you do that for me?"  
"That's it?"  
"Yes….that's it"  
"That's easy Danno!"  
"You think watching Uncle Steve is easy?"  
The little girl giggled, "You're so silly Daddy"  
He pulled her into an embrace, "You're my silly little Monkey and I love you" He kissed her forehead and after hugging her he again said, "Have fun" She then turned and ran outside followed by her Daddy and Grandparents.

As Rachel pulled from the driveway the others walked to the backyard and sat in lawn chairs.  
Maggie spoke first, "Danny, its' been so great to see you. I've missed you and Gracie so much" Before he could say anything, she added "And Rachel is as beautiful as ever. It was so nice of her to come, and that son of hers is a little angel"

Danny smiled at his parents, "Mom…there's been some, ummm changes"  
"What are you talking about son?"  
"Rachel is divorcing Stan…and we're back together"  
Bob Williams was smiling as Danny's attention stayed on his Mother, "Danny….."  
"Mom, what? Aren't you happy for me? For us, and for Gracie?"  
"That's not it sweetheart. I just don't want to see you get hurt again"  
"Mom, I love her. I never stopped loving her. She loves me too, it just took her a while to realize it. We're happy! All of us, including Gracie. I need you to be happy for us Mom"

He reached out and took her hands in his and she smiled at him, "I'm happy for you son. I'm very happy for you"  
They both stood and embraced while exchanging 'I love you's'.  
Bob also stood and embraced his son, "I love you son. When did this happen?"  
"She's had her doubts about her marriage for a while Dad but she was trying to make it work, for the kids"  
"Danny, your Mom and I love you very much and we don't want to see you hurt. We watched you suffer through the divorce and her re-marriage. Please understand that all we want for you is peace, love and happiness and if you're sure about this then we'll support you all the way and we couldn't be happier for you"

Danny smiled, "Thank you both, your blessing means everything to us"  
Maggie responded, "And you have it son, both of you. We've always loved Rachel"  
"I know you have Mom"  
She then asked 'THE' question, "What about Charlie?"  
Danny's smile said as much as his words, as he said, "What about him? He's part of the package deal, let's just say he's a bonus. You said it yourself, he's an angel. He a wonderful little boy and I love him dearly. Stan is being really decent about everything….we're going to make this work" He hated not telling them that Charlie may be his, but he couldn't. He couldn't play with her heart like this. If they found out Charlie was his, then and only then would he tell them.

A couple of hours later Danny's sisters and their families joined them at the house and by the time Rachel, Steve and the kids returned from the shore the entire Williams family was celebrating the re-uniting of Danny and Rachel.

They arrived with a special treat for Danny. Gracie handed him a brown paper sack as he asked, "What's this?"  
His daughter responded, "A present from Uncle Steve"  
Opening up the bag his eyes lit up, "Oh partner, you're the best!"  
Everyone smiled and laughed at Danny's joy over an authentic New Jersey Italian Hot Dog!

The rest of the day was wonderful and after emotional goodbyes to Danny's siblings they all turned in for the night at a little after ten o'clock. Steve had arranged for the private plane to leave at ten the next morning and as he pulled the covers up over him his mind was filled with the anticipation of seeing Emily tomorrow.

********* More to follow as Steve searches for closure. I hope you're still enjoying ! *********


	67. Chapter 67

The next morning it was decided that Bob alone would drive them to the airfield. Rachel and the kids were going to stay for another three days before returning to Hawaii. As they said their goodbyes, Maggie tried hard to not cry, but as her only surviving son held her in his arms she sobbed. After holding her tightly for a couple of minutes Danny pulled her to arms length and kissed her forehead. "It's okay Mom, please don't cry"  
"I love you son and I'm so proud of the man you've become. Promise me you'll be careful"  
"I promise you Mom" He kissed her again, "I'm always careful, I promise. Once Rachel and I get settled we want you and Dad to come for a visit okay?"  
"Yes, yes I would like that"  
"Now you take care of Pops for me alright?"  
"I always do Daniel, for forty two years now!"  
Danny smiled, "I love you Mom and I'll call you soon"  
Taking her son's face into her hands she kissed him, "I love you"

As Danny moved to talk to Rachel, Steve embraced Maggie.  
She whispered into his ear, "Please take care of my baby Steven"  
Parting, he kissed her cheek and responded softly "I will Maggie"  
Placing a soft hand on his still bruised cheek she spoke, "I love you like one of my own dear boy. Thank you for loving my Danny. Please take care of yourself and never forget how much you are loved. You did everything you could for Matthew and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. God bless you Steven"  
She reached up and kissed him as he responded in a voice tinged with raw emotion, "Thank You Maggie. I love you all very much"

After saying goodbye to Rachel, Gracie and Charlie, Bob drove the men to the airfield and after exchanging goodbyes the men boarded the plane and soon they were in the air and heading West to San Diego, California. Danny had picked up some Dramamine and Steve took that as the plane began to climb.

Danny watched his partner carefully. He had tipped his head back and his eyes were closed. His jaw was clenched tightly and his facial muscles were tense. Danny was sitting directly across from him and he spoke encouragingly, "Hang in there partner, you're going to be alright…..try to relax"  
"I'm okay Danno…just dizzy"  
"I know. Relax your breathing, nice and slow…...relax Superman, niice and slow"  
Danny continued talking soothingly to him for several minutes until he saw the tension leave Steve's body.  
A short time later Steve said softly, "I feel like I'm losing my mind D'…" His eyes remained closed as he continued, "Why can't I just let it go? I can't change what happened. No matter how much I want to change it….I can't"

Danny unbuckled and sat forward in his seat, "Steve, you don't have to do this. I can have the pilot take us back to Washington. You don't HAVE to do this"  
Danny saw the tear slip from Steve's clenched eye as he replied in a soft pain-filled voice, "No Danny, you're wrong…this is something I have to do. I have to see that she's okay….I have to"  
Steve reclined back in his seat and Danny sat back, not speaking, simply watching his friend and praying that this trip would bring him the peace and closure he so desperately needed. While this was his hope, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread. Steve was clearly depressed and if this didn't go well the consequences could be devastating.

The men sat quietly, deep in their own thoughts throughout the remaining five hours of the flight.  
With the time change, they arrived in San Diego at about one thirty in the afternoon. Soon they were in a rental car and with Steve giving directions that Kono had found in researching Emily, Danny drove them towards her home.

**505050505050505050505050505050**

They parked across the street from the two story brick home with a meticulously landscaped lawn. They sat quietly for a while before Danny asked, "How do you want to do this Steve?"  
"I'll go to the door soon…just give me a few more minutes, okay?"  
"Take your time babe. We're not in any hurry"  
They sat another fifteen minutes before their attention was drawn to front door of the house. Danny heard Steve gasp at the sight before them. She was exiting the house with twin boys at her heals. Even at this distance Danny instantly noted her beauty. She had short cropped blonde hair and as she turned towards them they noted that she was clearly pregnant. They watched as the family moved to the SUV parked in the driveway and one by one she picked the boys up, hugging and kissing them before placing them into their car seats.

Danny glanced at Steve. Tears pooled in his eyes as he stated, "Follow her Danny"  
The men followed the SUV about two miles where Emily stopped at a park. They parked a few feet away and watched as she unloaded the boys from the vehicle. Steve smiled as he watched the toddlers reach up and take their Momma's hands. Steve exited the car and Danny joined him as they followed Emily.

Steve approached Emily from behind as she was taking the jacket off her second son. Both boys had blonde curly hair and cherub cheeks. They were bouncing up and down with excitement and jabbering wildly pointing and saying, 'swing and slide'  
She didn't hear the men approach but sensing eyes on her she turned. Her mouth dropped open and she brought a hand to her mouth as she said breathlessly, "Steve…."  
He smiled at her lovingly as he responded, "Hi Emi"  
"Oh God Steve" They both moved and instantly they were sharing a warm embrace.  
They were interrupted in mere moments by two little boys tugging at her pant legs and calling out, "MOMMY, SLIDE….MOMMY!"  
They chuckled as they parted with Steve stating, "Well these two definitely not too excited to meet me are they?"

Both of them knelt down as Emily addressed her boys, "Boys, we'll go to the slide in a minute but I want you to meet a friend of Mommies…..a very dear friend. Steve I'd like you to meet Chad Steven and Christopher Thomas"  
Steve held out his hand and Christopher reached out to touch him. As Steve's glance turned to Chad, the little boy surprised them by taking several steps forward and wrapping his tiny arms around the SEALS neck. Emily smiled at the reaction of her sons as Steve was clearly very touched by their responses.  
Steve and Emily stood and he looked into the eyes of his first true love he said, "They're beautiful boys Emi"  
"Yes, they are truly blessings"  
Steve motioned towards her expanded belly, "And another one on the way, congratulations"  
"This one's a girl. We're very excited"  
Steve turned to Danny, "Emily, I'd like you to meet my partner Danny Williams"  
She stepped towards Danny with open arms and embraced him, "Hello Danny Williams, It's nice to meet you"  
"It's nice to meet you Emily. If you're comfortable with this, I'd love to take your boys to the playground so you two can catch up on things"  
She grinned at him, replying "They're pretty rambunctious"  
Steve smiled, adding "Danno's an awesome Dad Em, he can handle them"  
She knelt back down, "Boys, Mommy is going to sit on the bench right here and visit with Steve. This is Danny and he's going to play with you okay?"  
The boys both squealed, "Yes, yes, yes…slide"  
As they reached their hands up to Danny, Emily added, "Now you both be good and stay right with Danny and do what he says"  
The said in unison, "Yes Mommy" And pulling Danny's fingers the three made their way to the SLIDE!

Steve and Emily watched as Danny walked away from them, a toddler clinging to each forefinger.  
After several seconds Steve turned to her, "You look wonderful Emily and it appears that you're happy"  
She reached out and took hold of his hand as they moved to sit on the bench. "I am Steve. I'm very happy"  
The SEAL smiled broadly, genuinely, "Good. That's why I came. I needed to know that life had turned out well for you. Tell me about your husband, please tell me everything"

She smiled back at Steve. They were talking as if no time had passed at all, "I'll tell you everything but first I need to apologize to you"  
He looked at her with a puzzled expression, "Apologize for what?"  
"For not contacting you after we separated. You tried to reach me and I shut you down…..I'm so sorry"  
"It's okay Em, I understood…..you were in great pain"  
"Steve, so were you. I was so selfish and there have been so many times when I have wished that I had handled things differently. I need you to know that I never blamed you. No one in my family, or Chad's ever blamed you. Chad was his own man and may I add he was just as stubborn as you are. He died a hero, protecting his country and unfortunately Christina wasn't strong enough to continue on without him. No one was to blame, it was a tragedy but we were both so blessed to have known them. It took me a long time to fully accept that, but never once did I blame you and I am so sorry that I shunned you…please forgive me"

Tears welled in his eyes as he squeezed her hand, "There is nothing to forgive. We all grieve differently and while I can't say there haven't been times when I have blamed myself, I promise you that I never felt you blamed me"

She lifted his hand and kissed it before proceeding, "After you left I did not date anyone for over a year. Then my friend convinced me to go on a blind date with her cousins best friend Tom Brenner, he had just started his own law practice and we clicked immediately. He was very understanding of what I had gone through and he never pushed or rushed the relationship. On the one year anniversary of our first date he proposed to me. We were married eight months later, and a year and a half later the twins were born. Needless to say, life has been a whirlwind. What about you Steve?"

He told her of how he had immersed himself in work moving up the ranks to SEAL Commander. He told her of his Father's death and of his Mother's re-appearance. He told her about 5-0 and he told her of Catherine.  
They were still holding hands as she responded, "I'm so happy you have found love again Steve. No one deserves it more than you" She then inquired, "What happened to you Steve, all the bruises?" He told her what had happened to Matt, not leaving out any details.

She looked into his beautiful blue eyes and stated, "I never doubted the depth of your honor and character. You are an amazing man Steve. I am so happy you came, how long can you stay?"  
Their thoughts were interrupted by the squeals of delight coming from the swings and they both chuckled at the sight of Danny running between the two swings and pushing the boys who screamed, "HIGHER, HIGHER"  
They turned their gazes back to each other as Emily said, "He's so good with them. You said he has kids?"  
"He has a nine year old daughter, Gracie. They're family to me Emi. Danny's the best friend and partner I could ask for, and Gracie…..I couldn't love her more if she were my own"

"So you didn't tell me, how long can you stay?"  
"Not long. One of our team members was injured a couple days ago in Washington. Danny and I had flown from there to New Jersey for his brother's funeral. We flew in here from Jersey his morning, but we have to get back to Washington as soon as possible"

"I understand. Can you at least stay until morning? I'd love to have you both to our place for dinner tonight. I've told Tom so much about you, you've got to meet him"  
"Oh Emily, I'm sure he has no interest in meeting me"  
"Are you kidding me? He has heard so much about you and Chad from me and my family. Steve, HE named our boys. He will never forgive me if I let the man his firstborn son is named after get out of town without introducing you to him"

Steve smiled, "Alright then, I graciously accept. We'll get checked into a Hotel, what time would you like us to arrive?"  
"Don't be silly. We have plenty of room. You two will stay with us"  
"That's very kind, thank you"

Gathering up the boy's jackets the two joined Danny and the boys on the playground. Emily watched as the two men took the three year olds down the slide and onto the monkey bars. They went on the swings and up through a maze of tunnels giggling and laughing the entire time. She smiled as she watched her first love. Life sometimes leads you down paths you don't plan on taking and although she loved Tom with all her heart she couldn't help but wonder what might have been...

********* MORE TO FOLLOW – HOPE YOU'RE STILL ENJOYING **********


	68. Chapter 68

******* I received several PM's stating people hadn't received notifications of these two chapters posting Saturday, so I am re-posting - Hope you enjoy! *******

As they followed Emily back to her house Danny glanced at his partner, "Are you okay Steve?"  
Steve turned to face Danny, "Yeah brother…yeah….I'm good. They named their firstborn after Chad and me…...that blows me away man"  
"I don't know why it surprises you? How many little boys are named after two American hero's?"  
"We're not hero's Danno, we were just doing our jobs"  
"That's such bullshit and you know it. It takes a special type of man to join the Military yet alone to become a SEAL"  
"I'm no different than anyone else who served. Now Chad? Yeah, I agree... he was a hero"  
"You know what babe? You don't have to die to be a hero…..."  
The short drive back to the house over, they pulled into the driveway behind Emily and after helping get the boys from the vehicle, they made their way into the house.

"Steve, Danny..…I need to get the boys down for a nap or they won't make it dinner. There's plenty to drink in the fridge, grab whatever you'd like and please make yourself at home. I'll be back shortly"

The men each grabbed a Pepsi and then they moved into the living room. They looked around the room at all the pictures prominently displayed. Pictures of the boys and of Emily and Tom's wedding. Pictures of Emi's family, her parents and brothers. Pictures of Christina and Chad…and a picture of Chad and Steve. Steve recognized the photo and he remembered when it was taken like it was just yesterday. They were dressed in their SEAL fatigues, their arms draped across each others shoulders. Steve was smiling broadly and looking at Chad whose head was tipped back in laughter.  
Danny asked softly, "Where was that taken?"  
"Serbia. We had been assigned to take out a team of assassins that had targeted a high ranking Governmental Official. Everything went like clockwork and we walked away unscathed. This was taken right after we took out the last man….." Steve became very quiet before adding, "What does it say about us Danno? We had just killed four men and we were celebrating…."

"Steve, come on man….why were you celebrating? Maybe because you two had just risked your lives for your country and you survived! Please babe, don't do this to yourself. Look at me Steve….." Danny grabbed his friend's forearm and stated firmly, "Steve, LOOK AT ME!" Steve turned to face Danny and the Jersey detective again saw the pain, the torment in his partner's eyes. "Please listen to me. It's been only two weeks, you almost died. You've been through hell and back and you're overly emotional right now. I'll tell you every day, every hour if you need me to….you ARE a hero my friend and I am honored to be your partner and your friend. Now you have been waiting years to see Emily and to get closure, she's happy and that's what you want right?"

Steve's eyes glistened with moisture as he said softly, "Yeah Danno, it's what I want…thank you buddy"  
"You're welcome"  
Steve sighed deeply, "Hey, I've got to use the head, I'll be right back" He walked down the hallway and as Danny heard the door close he ran this hand through his hair as his mind raced, '_God I hope this isn't too much for him'_ Steve's words from earlier this morning on the plane echoed in his mind, _'I feel like I'm losing my mind D'….Why can't I just let it go? I can't change what happened. No matter how much I want to change it….I can't'__, _As worried as he was, he would have been mortified if he knew that only a few feet away behind the closed bathroom door, Steve was popping another three pain pills.

**5050505050505050505050505050505050  
**  
Emily was coming down the stairs as Steve was exiting the bathroom.  
"They're sleeping soundly. You two wore them out!"  
Steve chuckled, "That was fun. They're great boys Emi"  
"Yes, every day is an adventure" As they moved into the living room to join Danny, she asked "You haven't had kids Steve?"  
"No…not yet at least. Maybe someday I'll settle down"  
"I hope so. There's no feeling that can compare to parenthood Steve. I hope you discover that'' As they joined Danny she added, " I hope you both like steak, Tom is stopping to pick them up on the way home. He can grill almost as good as you Steve!"

Danny chimed in, "I have to admit SuperSEAL here is mighty skilled with the grill"  
Steve smiled, "Emily that sounds great, thank you"  
They moved out onto the deck and the next couple of hours flew by as Steve and Emily chatted about their past and reminisced. Danny sat and listened to the old lovers talk as if no time had passed between them. He knew this was going to help Steve eventually, he could see that but he still worried about how it would affect him short term. Depression was such a hard thing to grasp, the human mind can take even the strongest person down paths that they would usually never take. He knew no man stronger than Steve McGarrett, but even he was only human. How much torment and sadness can one man endure? How much...…

They talked until visitors arrived to surprise Steve. Emily's parents and her younger brother emerged from the house and the joy on all their faces was evident. Steve stood and embraced Joe and Stella Tate and brother Peter. After introducing them all to Danny they all sat to visit and a short time later the jabbering of the twins came across the baby monitor. Emily and her Mother went in to get the boys as the men continued to visit.

That evening was filled with good food, good conversation and lots of laughs. Danny saw that not only was this going to help Steve, it was helping Emily and her family as well. Steve had come to get closure and while he would get that as far as his relationship with Emily, something even more important had been forged with this visit. They were no longer lovers and never again would be, but their love and friendship had been re-kindled in just hours. After dinner, Emily's family left with the promise that they would all stay in touch. Emily excused herself to go give the boys a bath and Danny stepped into the yard to call Rachel and Chin leaving Steve and Tom alone on the deck.

Steve stated, "Tom, thank you for your kindness. I'm sure you never expected to find me in your home"  
Tom smiled, "I may not have expected it, but I'm glad it happened. You're very special to Emily. You're her first love, she loves you and she always will and, I accept that. I have heard nothing but good things about you Steve and it's obvious from your career choices that you are a man of high integrity and honor. When I met Emily, she was still reeling from Christina and Chad's deaths and the loss of you. I don't have to tell you what a beautiful person she is, inside and out. I feel very blessed to have her and our children and I thank God every day for my good fortune. I've done everything I can to give her the love and security she needs and deserves, but deep down I've always known she would never find complete peace until she saw you again. I love her with all my heart and I want her to be at total peace. I've told her several times that she should contact you"

Steve responded, "Really? Why hasn't she tried to get in touch with me?"  
Tom replied, "I think she was afraid to. She had lost so much and when I say that, I mean you. She knew she had broken your heart by not being able to stay with you and honestly Steve…..her biggest fear has been that you were blaming yourself for everything and she was afraid to see what happened to you. Seeing you today, hearing what you've done with your life and knowing that you've found happiness is going to lift a huge weight off her shoulders and I am so grateful to you"

Steve smiled, "It sounds like I'm not the only one who needed closure, huh?"  
"No you weren't. And I echo what her parents said, I hope this isn't the last we hear from you. Good friends are hard to come by"  
"Thank you Tom. I will definitely stay in touch. Can I ask you a question?"  
"Of course, anything"  
"Naming you son….."  
"You don't understand how I could name my firstborn after other men?"  
"Yes, I have to admit it did surprise me"  
"When we found out we were having boys, honestly it just seemed like the thing to do. When you name your child, you automatically think of naming them after someone you love and respect. What happened to all of you was tragic but the events are a huge part of who Emily is. She loved you both dearly and although I had never had the honor of meeting either of you, from all I had heard I deeply respected both of you. And then of course we named Chris after Christina. When I first suggested it and she was cried…..I knew it was the right thing to do"

Steve shook his head, "Wow…..I don't even know what to say other than I am truly honored, and thank you"  
"You're welcome. So she tells me you need to leave in the morning?"  
"Yes, we need to get back to the rest of our team"  
"Then, I need to go take over for her with the boys so you two can talk"  
As the men stood and shook hands Danny came back up onto the deck. Steve inquired, "How's Kono?"  
"Chin says she's doing great, she's tired though. They took out the chest tube and there are no signs of infection"  
Steve smiled, "That's fantastic"  
Tom looked at Danny, "I'm happy your friend is okay. I'm going to go relieve Emily and finish up with the boys Danny, can you give me a hand?"  
"You bet, I'd love to"  
As Steve watched them disappear into the house he silently thanked God for bringing such a fine man into Emily's life.

**5050505050505050505050505050505050**

Moments later Emily joined Steve.  
He asked, "Is everything okay?"  
She smiled, "Yes, they love bathtime" She sat next to him, "Steve, I can't tell you how happy I am to see you. I have to ask…...over the years, did you ever think about us? Did you ever wish things had turned out differently?"

Steve reached over and took hold of her hand. His lips quivered as he answered emotionally, "I've thought about that so many times Emi. We both knew back then that we couldn't stay together, it was just too painful for both of us. Seeing where we both at now…..we were right. That doesn't mean I don't love you, because I promise you Emily, I never stopped loving you. You were my first love and you will always hold a special spot in my heart, but I now honestly believe if we had stayed together it would have destroyed both of us. You have a wonderful husband and an amazing family and I'm so happy for you Emily, I really am. I came for closure and my heart is happy today"

Emily leaned over and embraced Steve. "You're so right Steve, we needed to be apart in order to heal. I feel very blessed to have been loved by you and I am so happy that you're back in my life. I too, have always loved you and I treasure your love and friendship more than I can say. I needed closure as well and you have given that to me. Seeing what you have done with your life is not surprising. You were an amazing man then, and nothing has changed. I am truly happy Steve, and I'm so glad to see that you are happy and healthy. Thank you so much for coming"

They sat together and visited for almost an hour before Tom and Danny joined them with the boys.  
Later, once the boys were down for the night, they all sat and visited until the early morning hours.  
The next morning Emily fixed them a wonderful breakfast and much too soon, Steve and Danny were saying their goodbyes. As Steve embraced Tom, he said quietly "Please take care of her Tom"  
His new friend responded, "I will Steve, I promise"

Steve then embraced Emily and as they parted she gave him a peck on the lips, "I love you Steve, take care of yourself and please stay in touch"  
He smiled at her replying, "I love you too. Next time, you all need to visit me in Hawaii"  
Tom laughed, "She's been trying to get me to take her there for years"  
Steve added, "While now you've got no excuse buddy. I've got plenty of room for all of you and I'd love to show you around paradise"  
Tom again shook his hand, "I'm sure we'll take you up on that offer soon"  
"Good….thank you both and make sure you call me when that little girl of yours arrives…..bye now"

As Danny pulled from the house he saw his partner watching Emily in his side view mirror as they drove away.

********* So did Steve get the closure he needed? I hope you're all enjoying. Thanks for reading and remember, I love reviews! *********


	69. Chapter 69

As they drove towards the air strip Danny spoke first, "She's a wonderful person Steve…they're all great"  
"Yeah, they are…...thank you Danno for being there for me"  
"Of course. So, did you get the closure you were looking for babe?"  
"She's happy Danny, and that's what I needed to see…so yeah, I've got closure"  
Danny smiled at his friend, "That's good partner, that's good"

It was a short flight to Washington and the Dramamine seemed to help Steve more this time.  
When they arrived at the hospital they found Chin assisting Kono on a walk down the hallway.  
They were all smiles as they approached and Steve said, "Alright, look at you!" He leaned in kissed Kono on the cheek.  
"Hi boss, Danny…..how did everything go?"  
Danny spoke softly, "It went well sweetheart, thank you. So have you seen the Doctor yet today?"  
"Yes, they're ready to let me go"  
Steve looked at Chin, "Really?"  
"Yes Sir. Let's get back to the room and I'll give you the details"

Once they had Kono back in bed Chin continued, "A lot has happened since I spoke with Danny last night. They are releasing Kono this afternoon. Chief Jessup stopped up to visit while the Doctor was here. Kono was arguing with the Doctor about when she could fly home so Jessup offered to pay for a Nurse to accompany us on the flight"

Steve looked at Kono, "So when can you fly SAFELY?"  
She replied glibly, "Right now"  
Steve smirked, "Yeah…sure"  
Chin smiled as he replied, "In three days"  
Steve raised his eyebrows as his gaze met Kono's, "That sounds more like it"

After visiting for a short time, Steve and Danny left to go check them all into rooms at the nearby Hilton Hotel.  
Over the next two day's they lounged poolside and simply relaxed.  
Danny watched Steve carefully and not knowing that the SEAL was still taking the pain pills in high doses he began to feel a bit at ease. Although Steve showed occasional signs of pain he was communicative and did not appear to be depressed.

On the third day they made their way to the airfield and they were met by Chief Jessup and the Nurse, Ashley Drake.  
As Chin and Ashley helped get Kono settled on the plane, Steve and Danny extended their final thanks and farewells to Chief Jessup and soon they were all on the plane and flying home.

Thankfully it was an uneventful flight. There was a bed on the private plane and at her friend's insistence Kono laid down, and actually slept for most of the flight. Steve also slept much of the time and the Dramamine seemed to help with his discomfort as well.  
When they landed in Hawaii, Governor Denning was waiting for them. They had left their vehicles there when they had flown out and the Governor had a car waiting to take Ashley to the Hawaiian Hilton to stay until she caught her return flight back to Washington the next day.  
After she left, the Governor looked at his task force, "How are you all doing?"  
Steve answered for his team, "It's been a tough couple of weeks on all of us Sir, but we're doing okay. It's good to be home"  
"Well, there's four more weeks left on your medical leaves and I want you to keep checking in with me periodically. If any of you need more time, you just need to let me know"  
Steve shook his bosses hand, "Thank you for your continued support Sir, it's greatly appreciated"  
Chin then left taking Kono back to her home and as Danny drove Steve, he dialed up Rachel.

"Hi Rach. We're back" He filled her in on everyone's condition ending by stating that he would see her soon.  
Steve asked, "Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah….she got the letter with the DNA results"  
"And?"  
"She hasn't opened it yet. She's waiting until she sees me"  
"Well you drop me off and you get over there"  
"Are you sure you're okay?"  
"Danno…..I'm fine brother. Thank you for taking such good care of me through this, but I'm fine now and I actually could use some time alone"  
Danny looked over at his partner before responding, "Okay, but you promise you'll call me if you need anything?"  
"Yes Danny, I promise"

A short time later Steve was entering his home and Danny was on his way to read the letter that would change his life no matter what it said.

**50505050505050505050505050505050505050**

Gracie was at school and Charlie was napping when Danny arrived.  
As he entered the house Rachel approached him, holding the envelope in her hand. They embraced and then Danny placed his hands on her face and kissed her passionately. After several seconds their lips parted and he whispered, "Are you ready?"  
She looked at him nervously, "Yes"  
He sensed her fear, "Hey baby, don't worry. Whatever the results are we'll be together…all four of us" He took her hand in his and led her to the couch. Her hand was shaking and Danny took the envelope from her, "Here, let me open it"

His heart was racing as he pulled out the letter.  
Taking a deep breathe, he read it out loud.  
_"Mrs. Edwards,  
In regards to the paternity of Charles William Edwards, date of birth 4-24-12 , DNA testing has determined to a degree of 99.999999% certainty that Daniel Patrick Williams is the Father of the above mentioned child."_

Rachel gasped and began sobbing hysterically, "Oh my God…yes, oh thank God yes"  
Danny too was crying as he pulled her into his arms and peppered her face with kisses. They sat for several minutes before Rachel spoke, "Danny, I'm so terribly sorry I put you through all of this…..oh God, I'm so sorry"

Danny wiped the tears from her cheeks, "Don't Rachel, please…..you have nothing to be sorry for. My God, I couldn't be happier. Charlie is MY SON! God, this is so amazing!" They again embraced.  
As they parted Rachel said softly, "I need to go see Stan"  
"Why don't you just call him?"  
"Danny, he deserves to be told in person. He loves Charlie too. This is not going to be easy on him"  
"You're right. I'll go with you"  
"No honey, this is something I need to do alone. Can you stay with Charlie, or do you need to get back to Steve's"  
"I can stay. He's doing a lot better and I think he's growing a bit tired of me shadowing him. There is one thing we're going to have to do though…."  
"What's that?"  
"Change our son's name"  
"Well of course we'll be changing his name to Williams"  
"We need to do more than that"  
"What, you don't like the name Charles?"  
"No, no….he's Charlie, but he can't be named Charles William Williams"  
Rachel chuckled, "Can I offer a suggestion then?"  
"Of course, you are his Mother"  
"I like, Charles Steven Williams"  
Danny smiled, "I like that too…I like that very much" He again kissed her passionately.

After a few moments she pulled away, "I should really go now"  
He mumbled hoarsely, "Oh come on…"  
Pushing away from his grasp she replied, "Danny, I need to go so I came be back before Gracie gets home"  
He agreed, "Yes…..you do. I just don't want to let you go baby"  
"You never have to worry Danny. I will never leave you again, ever….I love you my dear"  
Danny smiled and kissed her gently, "I love you too Rachel"

He then walked her to her car and after she drove away he went back into the house and headed straight up the stairs to Charlie's room. Standing in the doorway he stared at the little boy sleeping contently with his thumb in his mouth, oblivious to the events that just changed his life forever. Danny wiped tears from his cheeks as his stood for several minutes quietly watching his son….

********* Hope you're enjoying! A bit of a shorter chapter, but a good place to stop… one (maybe two) more chapter(s) to go! **********


	70. Chapter 70

******** WARNING, this chapter contains extreme violence and battlefield injuries *********

Steve was exiting the shower as his cell phone rang.  
Dripping wet, he grabbed the phone from the bathroom countertop, "Hey Danno"  
He heard his friend's breath catch in his throat and he knew he was crying.  
"Danno, talk to me partner"  
Danny's voice was filled with emotion as he said, "He's mine Steve….Charlie's my son"  
"Danno that's great! Oh God buddy, I'm so happy for you! Charlie Williams….that's got a great ring to it"  
"Actually we'll be legally changing his name from Charles William Edwards to Charles Steven Williams"  
Steve paused on the other end of the phone before saying softly, "I'm honored Danny"  
"Steve, I can't believe how unbelievable I feel. It's like the day he was born all over again. Even then, I think deep down I always knew he was mine…I just felt it"

Steve was smiling from ear to ear at hearing the love and joy in his partner's voice. He repeated again, "Danno, I'm so happy for you"  
"Are you okay alone for a while?"  
"Danny STOP! I'm fine…please stay with your family. Celebrate and have a good night"  
"You're sure?"  
"I've lived alone for many years partner….I'm fine…..don't worry about me"  
"You'll call….."  
Steve interrupted him, "Yes, I'll call if I need anything. I PROMISE! Now give everybody hugs and kisses for me, okay?"  
"I will. I'll call you tomorrow, good night"  
"Good night Danno, and hey, congratulations"

After dressing Steve went downstairs and grabbed a water from the fridge. He glanced at the bottle of pills he had set on the countertop. Without picking up the bottle he went down to the waters' edge and gazed out over the beautiful blue/green Ocean. He went the rest of the day without taking any pills. No more, he would take no more. He was home now and Danny was doing well. Chin and Kono were doing well. He would beat this crap once and for all. No more damn drugs….

**505050505050505050505050505050505050**

If Danny had been at the McGarrett home that night he would have certainly woke to the tortured cries coming from the SEAL's bedroom in the middle of the night. Steve was sprawled out across his bed, his legs moving wildly as horrible dreams invaded his mind. He was sweating profusely and his hands clawed at the bedsheets as he called out, 'Oh God…David…nno nno oh my GGod no…' His mind had taken him back to Germany. It was a place his dreams took him to at least weekly for almost ten years now.

Moments earlier Joe had called out to his team to "FALL BACK, ABORT, ABORT"  
He saw three of his teammates, including Joe, about a hundred yards ahead of him as they had reached the Humvee. Two men were with him and he spotted the final two team members, David Pappas and Bryan Juarez off to his left.  
Gunfire reigned around them and when the grenade went off everyone not yet at the Humvee was thrown back by the force of the blast. As he lie on the ground dazed, Chad had raced to his side pulling him to his feet. Allen Stummer stood next to them, gun raised.  
Chad called to him, "Let's go Steve, let's go!"  
He was still shaking the cobwebs from his brain as they had raced towards their two fallen comrades. Chad grabbed Juarez, throwing him over his shoulder as he had knelt down next to David.

David arms were reaching up and he took him into his arms.  
"I've got you Dave…I'm here buddy"  
David was clearly in shock but he spoke with surprising clarity, "I can't feel my legs Steve….get me out of here man, please get me out of here"  
He had one arm wrapped tightly around David's chest and he gripped his bloodied hand. "I got you Dave"  
Joe arrived at their side and the expression on his face said everything. Steve was holding firmly to David as he was rapidly bleeding to death….the entire lower portion of his body had been blown off by direct contact with the grenade.  
David suddenly became aware of his predicament and he pleaded, "I don't want to die Steve…..please, please don't let me die"  
"Ssssshhhhhh, it's okay buddy….."  
David's voice was weakening as he said, "I ccann't ffeel my legs Stteve….hhelp me"

He had watched helplessly as his brother took his final breath and his hand grew limp in his grasp. He seemed oblivious to the gunfire that was erupting around him and Joe grasped his shoulder tightly, "Steve, we have to evacuate….let's go son"  
He held tightly to David's remains as Joe helped him to his feet and as the other SEAL's returned enemy fire, they made their way to the safety of the Humvee and sped away. Joe took David from him placing him onto a blanket, the team was eerily quiet as they covered him up. Steve was covered in the blood and entrails of his deceased brother as Joe handed him a towel to clean himself with. The team then turned their full attention to their injured man, Bryan who had been knocked unconscious by the blast.

The blast had injured him severely with large amounts of shrapnel ripping into his legs. He would recover but he would never be able to serve another day as an active SEAL.

Steve woke from this dream as he always did, drenched in sweat, his heart racing. This time though he also woke in severe physical pain as his withdrawal symptoms hit him fully. Pulling the blankets up around his shivering body, he curled up into the fetal position and talking to himself he said over and over again, "You can do this McGarrett, no fucking drugs…..no more fucking drugs"

**505050505050505050505050505050505050**

Steve slept very little the rest of the night and he was still lying in bed when his cellphone rang on the bedstand next to him at about ten thirty. Grabbing the phone, he saw it was Danno.

"Danno, good morning. How are you doing?"  
"I've been playing in the yard with my kids partner. I couldn't be happier babe"  
"That's so great Danny. So it's Saturday, what are your plans with them today?"  
"Nothing special. I figure I'll hang here for a while and then head over to your place. Do you want me to bring lunch?" "No…..and I don't want to see you until at least Monday. You need to spend time with Rachel and the kids this weekend and I don't want you to argue with me. I'm fine, and the time alone is good for me"

"Steve, are you sure?"  
"Didn't I say no arguing? Danny, please…do things with your kids man. Go to the zoo, the beach….whatever your heart desires. I don't want you to even think about me, do you understand?"  
"Okay, but I'll call Chin and have….."  
Steve interrupted him, "No, you won't call Chin and have him check up on me. I'll touch base with Chin and Kono and you my friend are officially off the radar until Monday, and that's an order!"

Danny grinned, "Yes Sir…and Steve, thank you….for everything"  
"You're welcome, bye"  
Hanging up the phone, Steve set it down and moaning in pain he curled back up under the covers.

The next twenty four hours were very painful for the SEAL. His stomach cramps were so sever he rarely got out of bed. He had made it downstairs mid afternoon Saturday and took several bottles of water with him up to the bedroom but he ate nothing. He touched base with Chin and Kono Saturday evening, lying to both of them regarding his current condition and leaving both with the misunderstanding that Danny was with him and all was well. He had decided he couldn't see anybody right now. Depression had fully set in now and he had lost concept of time. He simply laid in the bed, staring at the ceiling and remembering…..remembering everyone he had lost, from his Father to his brothers-in arms, to Jenna Kaye and Laura Hills. He remembered Christina, and the baby and Emily. He also remembered everyone who had betrayed him, from his Mother, to Joe, Governor Jameson and most recently Catherine. He cried until he could cry no more and by late afternoon on Sunday he knew he needed to sleep but he also needed to numb his pain. Still only in boxers he went downstairs and pulled out his stash of liquor.

**50505050505050505050505050505050**

He sat staring at the television mindlessly as he drank whiskey straight from the bottle, and of course the more he drank…the more his mind drifted to his fallen friends and he now knew he had to end things with Catherine. He knew that Emi was safe and happy, even though he had brought such great loss and pain to her. He couldn't, and wouldn't do that again, he couldn't hurt Cath in any way. Joe was right after all…you can't love someone or expect someone to love you when you choose this line of work. All it does is bring pain, too much pain and heartbreak...…

He thought of his inability to commit to a deeper relationship with Cath and he thought of the secret she had kept from him about his Mother. He had forgiven her but it still nagged at him. Why had she not come to him? Why had she trusted Doris more than him? He knew she would fight him on this and he knew she would be hurt, but she would get over him and she would find someone much better than he was, someone she could trust. She would be sleeping now, so he called and left her a message, "Cath…..this is one of most difficult calls I've ever had to make. I have decided that we should no longer see each other. I should have told you this when you were here and I'm very sorry that I didn't. I can't put you in danger….please understand…. I'm so tired…." His voice tailed off as he said softly, "I can't do this anymore Cath" His hands were shaking as he hung up and set the phone onto the coffee table. he then brought the bottle back to his lips.

About an hour later an overwhelming feeling of dread and despair overcame him. His mind turned to the darkest of thoughts as he began to question why? Why had all these good, beautiful people died because of him? And why…. why had God taken them, leaving him to try to carry on? Well, he couldn't do it anymore…he couldn't….  
He was sobbing as he picked up his phone and dialed Danny. Getting his partner's voice mail he decided not to leave a message and taking his phone and the whiskey, he left the house walking down to the Ocean. The cool night's breeze felt good against his sweat drenched body as he sat down into his wooden deck chair and looked out over the Ocean. He loved it here, it was so peaceful and serene….such a complete opposite from the reality of his everyday life.

About half an hour after his first call he again dialed Danny. Getting his voicemail, he struggled to speak as his voice choked with emotion and the effects of the alcohol, "Danny…I'm sorry….I need you partner….. Oh God Danny…I'm so sorry" Hanging up the phone he dropped it into the sand as his tortured cries of despair filled the quiet, calm night air. He walked to the water's edge and dropped to his knees letting the warm water wash over him as he continued to drink. He didn't hear his phone ring a short time later as Catherine was frantically trying to reach him.

Unable to reach Steve she tried Danny, getting his voice mail as well.  
Danny and Rachel had hired a babysitter for Charlie and had taken Gracie to an early movie with plans for pizza afterwards. As they exited the theatre, Danny listened to his voicemails. He stopped dead in his tracks as the first message from Steve played. He heard the sobs coming from his friend and the quick disconnect. Rachel looked at him, "Danny? Is everything alright?"  
He held up a finger, "Just a minute dear"  
He then listened to the frantic call from Catherine, "Danny, Oh God, what's happening? What's wrong with Steve? Please call me right away, I'm so worried"  
If that wasn't enough to terrify Danny, the second call from Steve sent him into a panic, "Danny…I'm sorry….I need you partner….. Oh God Danny…I'm so sorry"

He was ashen as he looked at Rachel, "I need to get to Steve's. Rach, can you call a cab?"  
She saw the fear on his face as she responded, "Of course, call me later"  
Gracie looked up at him, "Danno, is Uncle Steve okay?"  
"Yes, yes Monkey" He bent down stating, "We just have a case we have to discuss and it might take a while so you help Mommy with Charlie for me and I'll call you later okay?'  
"Okay Daddy, I love you"  
He kissed her and then Rachel calling out "I love you both" as he raced out to the parking lot.

Pulling out onto the road he dialed Steve with the call rolling straight to voice mail. "DAMN it Steven"  
He dialed Catherine who answered on the first ring, "Danny, oh Danny…..tell me he's alright?"  
"I don't know Cath, I can't reach him. I'm on my way to his house now. Did you talk to him?"  
"No, he left me a message about an hour ago. He's been drinking. Danny, he broke up with me and he said he was so tired and that he couldn't do this anymore. Oh God Danny….find him…..." She was now sobbing hysterically, "Don't let him hurt himself"

"Cath, I'm almost there. I'll find him and take care of him. I'll call you soon"  
Through her sobs, she replied, "Okay thank you….please tell him I love him"  
"I will…..bye"  
Hanging up the phone he was overcome with a horrible sense of dread. He should never have left him alone. He would never be able to forgive himself if Steve had harmed himself. Pushing the pedal to the floor he raced to the McGarrett home.

********** Hope you're enjoying….emotional stuff coming up…***********


	71. Chapter 71

******** So what are your thoughts on 5-0 moving to Friday nights? I think it's great for the show and will mean many more years for it. Teaming it with Blue Bloods is awesome – two great cop/crime dramas to enjoy after a long week at work! LONG LIVE 5-0! ********

Danny pulled into Steve's driveway and raced into the house. His heart was beating frantically as he feared what he may find. The TV was still on and hollering out Steve's name, he moved from room to room searching for him. Finding no sign of the man he ran into the backyard and down to the water. A sense of relief washed over him as he saw the figure of his friend sitting on the sand, the tide water running over him. He approached slowly and once he was able to confirm that all Steve was holding was a nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels he spoke, "Hey partner..…what are you doing?"

Receiving no answer, he moved closer "Steve…are you alright?"  
Steve didn't answer, he simply shook his head back and forth…..no…..no, he wasn't alright.  
As Danny drew near he could see that Steve was shaking uncontrollably. He crouched down behind him and spoke softly into his ear, "Hey, you're freezing here buddy. Let me help you into the house okay?"

Placing his arms under Steve's, Danny pulled him to his feet.  
Steve dropped the whiskey bottle as he stood saying, "Oooopps". He staggered as he tried to bend over to pick it up.  
Danny grabbed him, steadying him, "Leave it babe, come on let's go" Throwing Steve's arm around his shoulder Danny guided him back up to the house. They walked straight upstairs to the bathroom and setting Steve onto the toilet, Danny started the shower. He looked back at Steve whose head was drooping down. Danny placed a hand on Steve's chin and pulling he head upward he looked into the tortured eyes of his partner. "Can you help me get you into the shower so you can warm up and then we'll talk alright?"

"I'm fine Danno"  
"Yeah, sure you are. Come on" Holding out his hand, Steve took hold and Danny pulled him up. Slipping out of his boxers Danny helped him into the steaming shower saying, "Hold onto the wall Steven, I don't need you falling and cracking your head open"

Steve responded, his speech slurred, "I ccan stand uup Danno"  
"Sorry babe, I don't have much confidence in that right now"  
"Trust me D'….."  
"Just be careful and warm up"  
Danny stood by the sink keeping an eye on Steve through the glass shower door as he phoned Catherine.  
"Danny?"  
Danny spoke softly not wanting Steve to hear him, "He's okay sweetheart, drunk but okay. He's in the shower now and then I'll talk to him. I'll call you tomorrow but please don't worry"  
"Thank you Danny…..thank you"

Steve's hands were against the tiled wall and Danny watched him sway slightly. He called out, "Steven, you okay?"  
"M good Danno…..'m good"  
After about ten minutes Danny grabbed a towel and opening the shower door he shut the water off and handed the towel to Steve.  
"Thanks"  
"You bet"  
He stood back as Steve stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist.  
"Danny….I'm sorry"  
"Hey, stop it. No worries, I'm glad you called me"  
They moved into Steve's bedroom and Danny grabbed him a pair of sweats and an a t-shirt from his dresser. After Steve dressed they made their way downstairs.

Once Steve was on the couch Danny shut off the television and asked, "Would you like some coffee or water?"  
"I'd like a beer"  
"Sorry pal, you've had enough" Danny left him and went to the kitchen to grab a couple bottles of water. As he closed the fridge and turned, he caught a glimpse of the prescription bottle on the counter. Setting down the waters he looked at the label and opened the bottle.

"Jesus Christ" Carrying the bottle he moved swiftly back to Steve's side, sitting on the coffee table directly in front of his drunken friend. We was shaking with fear as he held up the bottle, "What in hell is this Steve?"  
"What? Thhey're ppain pills Danny"  
"I SEE THAT! What are you trying to do, kill yourself? How many did you take?"  
Steve didn't answer, his head again drooping downward.  
Danny stood and placing a hand on Steve's forehead he tipped his head up and held the bottle in front of his face, "STEVEN LOOK AT ME! How many did you take?"  
"None Ddanno….."  
Steve's eyes closed and Danny slapped his cheek, "HEY STAY AWAKE! This is a thirty day supply and they're almost gone. When did you take these?"  
"In Washington Danno…I ttook 'em in Washington…..had to get through the ffunneral…." Tears pooled in his eyes as he said softly, "Sorry"

Danny sighed and responded calmly, "So you haven't taken any pain pills since we got home?"  
"None…I'm nnot taking any more…..no more fuckin' drugs Danno"  
"Okay babe, that's good" Danny took hold of Steve's shoulders, gently maneuvering him back onto the couch covering him with a blanket.  
"Danno…..'m sorry mman"  
"Hey be quiet now and sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up"  
"Yeah…..'k"  
In moments Steve was snoring softly and Danny moved over to the nearby recliner.  
Pulling out his cellphone he dialed Rachel, "Hey Rachel"  
"Danny, how is he?"  
"He's smashed. He's sleeping now, he's not going to be able to talk until morning. This is my fault Rach"  
"Oh Danny, no. You can't blame yourself"  
"After the car crash in Washington the Doctor wrote him a prescription for pain pills. I had set it on the dresser and with everything going on I just forgot about it. He found it and he must have had it filled when we were with Kono at the hospital. I didn't know he was taking them…..it was a thirty day supply and there's only a few pills left. He must have been taking eight or nine pills a day honey"

"Oh no…that's horrible, but how is this your fault?"  
"He wasn't in any condition to even be traveling. He was there for me…..to help me"  
"Yes he was. He was there because he loves you Daniel. Do you think anything you said would have kept him away?"  
Danny sighed, "No…..you're right. But I never should have left him alone this weekend. I should have known better"  
"You're there now, and he needs you now, so stay focused and be strong for him. Is he taking the pills with the alcohol?"  
"No….he says he hasn't taken any since we got home"  
"Are you sure? Should you take him to the hospital?"  
"No, I believe him. I've seen enough people on drugs along with alcohol, he's just smashed. I'll watch him carefully though"  
"You stay with him as long as he needs you, we're fine here"  
"I love you so much Rachel"  
"And I love you. Do you want to talk to Grace?"  
"Yes, of course I do" Moments later she little girl was on the phone giggling as he asked, "What's so funny Monkey?"  
"Charlie dumped his whole bowl of spaghetti on his head. Mommy said 'No Charlie' and he's waving his hand at her and saying 'no, no, no' he's such a silly boy!"  
"He's almost as silly as his big sister"  
"HEY Danno! He's much more sillier than me!"  
"I don't know about that. I'm sorry we missed our night out for Pizza but I promise I'll make it up to you"  
"It's okay. Can I talk to Uncle Steve?"  
"He's really busy right now baby girl but I'll have him call you tomorrow okay?"  
"Okay Daddy, good night. I love you"  
"I love you too Monkey. Now go help your Mom give Charlie a bath"  
She chuckled, "I will, bye"  
Hanging up he grinned. Even with everything that had happened in the last few weeks he felt so lucky. Now looking over at his snoring partner he knew tomorrow he was going to have to talk to Steve seriously about getting help. He wasn't willing to lose the man over this. If he was needing this much alcohol to numb himself enough to not take pills he needed professional help. Getting up and turning on the television, he watched a basketball game until he too, fell asleep.

**505050505050505050505050505050**

Danny woke to Steve's screams at about three in the morning. The room was illuminated by the television screen and he saw the SEAL's arms flaying wildly as he cried out, "No Freddie…I'm not leaving you…..NO…NO"  
Danny was at his side in moments, pinning his shoulders down, "STEVE, STEVE WAKE UP"  
The SEAL's strength was obviously back as he threw his arms forward as he bolted upright screaming, "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARDS! I'll KILL YOU!"

Danny was thrown back across the coffee table and he jumped back quickly across the table throwing himself on top of his raging partner, "STEVE, IT'S DANNY….STOP! WAKE UP BUDDY!"  
Danny pushed Steve back onto the couch, "STEVE, OPEN YOUR EYES, WAKE UP MAN" Suddenly Steve's eyes opened wide. He was drenched in sweat and Danny could feel his heart pounding rapidly in his chest. "Look at me Steven, you were having a nightmare…relax babe, you're alright now…you're alright now"

Steve's eyes were filled with torment and he replied emotionally, "No Danno…I'm not alright"

Danno moved off of his partner, sitting on the coffee table. He ran a hand through his hair and then he rubbed his shoulder. It had taken the brunt of his body weight as he had hit the floor. He reached over and handed Steve a bottle of water as he sat up, "Here….relax for a few minutes and then we can talk"  
Taking the water, Steve noticed that Danny was favoring his right shoulder, "Did I hurt you?"  
"Don't worry about it, I'm fine…it's good to see you've got your strength back"  
"Sorry buddy"  
"No worries"

Several minutes passed before Steve said quietly, "You said earlier that I'd been to hell and back…Danno, I haven't made it back yet. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever make it back"

***** ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO and you'll see it tomorrow night ! I hope you're enjoying, Thanks for reading and for all the kind reviews ***  
**


	72. Chapter 72

******** Here you go everyone... the final chapter….. I hope you all enjoy **********

_"You said earlier that I'd been to hell and back…Danno, I haven't made it back yet. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever make it back"_

Danny replied, "Sure you will. Steve I never should have let you go to Washington. You were too sick and you should have been here, recovering. I was being selfish wanting you with me and I'm so sorry"  
"You think you could have stopped me? If so, you sure don't know me very well"  
"Why didn't you tell me you were taking the pills?"  
"I didn't want you to worry about me. Matty was dead and you were being strong for Mom and Dad" He stopped and inquired as Danny smiled, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing's funny. I just love that you call them Mom and Dad….you're like a son to them Steve and they love you very much. So do my sisters and so did Matty….and I hope you know how I feel"  
"Your family has always treated me like one of their own, and I love them all. And yes Danno, I know how you feel and I feel the same way about you. That's why I've made up my mind to leave Hawaii"  
"What are you talking about? That's crazy?"  
"No, it's something that has to be done. I've broken up with Catherine and I plan on resigning from the Task Force next week. I'll be recommending to the Governor that he assign you as the new leader of 5-0"

"So what, you're choosing to run away now?"  
"What?"  
"These nightmares you have are just going to follow you, you do know that"  
"I'm not running away Danny and of course I know the nightmares won't stop, they'll never stop. The faces of those who have died because of me will haunt me for the rest of my life and I deserve that. But I am not going to risk adding you or Catherine or Gracie...…any of you to that long list. I've destroyed so many lives…..I can't do that anymore"

Danny smirked, "Wow babe….this is quite the pity party you're treating yourself to"  
"What?"  
"You heard me! Now you're going to knock this shit off and listen to me!"  
Steve held out his hands, "Okay…..go for it"  
"You say you don't like being called a hero and that you deserve to be judged harshly for the lives you've taken. Well I'm telling you that you are the ultimate patriot Steve. You have served your country with honor and dignity since you were what, nineteen years old? You have personally taken on, and led other brave men on assignments that have taken human scum from this earth. Why don't you look at the thousands of lives you have saved by those actions? There is a reason you are given such respect and called a hero. Not many men are brave enough to do what you have done and what you continue to do here in Hawaii. If you can't do this anymore, I can certainly understand and appreciate that and I will back you 100% IF you're making that call for the right reasons. But saying that you are responsible for the deaths' of the men who served with you and under you is pure BULLSHIT! And this notion of not endangering those you love? Everyone who is close to you, chooses to be close to you because WE LOVE YOU. You're not hiding who you are from us, we're all smart people, and we make the CHOICE to serve with you and to be friends with you. We are here because we WANT TO BE HERE! Get it through your thick skull and knock off the crap, okay?"

Steve sat quietly for several seconds as his friends' words sunk in before responding softly, "Shit I just hurt so damn bad Danno. I'm so tired…"  
"I know you're hurting. Let me get you help…..please Steve, you need help"  
Steve paused before saying softly, "I'm already seeing someone Danny"  
"What are you talking about? Who? When?"  
"My every other Monday morning meetings with the Governor…I've really been seeing a Navy Doctor. Danny, I need to tell you about Freddie" Steve sighed deeply and continued, "I went through SEAL training with Freddie Hart. He nearly dropped out Danny…but I wouldn't let him ring that damn bell and quit. I drove him Danny, and he became an amazing SEAL. Along with Chad he was the best buddy I had…..he was my brother and I loved him. After Chad died we became even closer. I never told you about my last mission. I was in Iraq in the fall of 2010 and Joe along with top Military brass sent me on a mission to enter North Korea to capture Anton Hess. I hand-picked Freddie to go in with me. After we captured Hess we were engaged in a gunfight with North Korean rebels and Freddie took a round to the gut. He was dying Danny and he provided cover fire for me so I could get away with Hess. He died in order for our mission to be successful…..he died saving me. And I did something that can never be forgiven, I left my brother behind, God...I left him behind" Steve wiped tears from his eyes as he continued, "During the transport of Hess out of North Korea our convoy was attacked by Victor Hess's men resulting in Anton's death and ultimately my Father's death. When Governor Jameson gave me the opportunity to head up the task force I took the job, and for that first year we were so busy I was able to push everything that had happened to the back of my mind. Then after Jameson died and I landed in prison, my nightmares became more severe. When I was recovering from being stabbed by Hess in prison I decided to go see a Navy psychologist and I was diagnosed with PTSD. I refused to go on any medication but I felt Governor Denning needed to know. After talking with him, I agreed to be seen twice a month and that Denning could have access to these reports"

Danny asked quietly, "Have the sessions helped you?"  
"I guess…..the nightmares still come but then again, they probably always will. It feels good to talk things out though"  
"You can always talk to me you know"  
"I know that Danny, but when this all went down we'd been partners for less than a year and as you know, I do have trust issues. Plus, there's always information that's classified and I can't discuss that with you"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…..screw the classified crap Steven…if you need to talk, you need to talk"  
Steve grinned, "Unfortunately, it's not that easy partner. I do appreciate your willingness to listen and honestly, I do tell you more than I probably should. One good thing about meeting with the Navy Doc is that I don't have to worry about saying too much, so yeah…it has helped me"

Danny smiled, "Good, I'm glad to hear that. So tell me, what's with the call you made to Catherine?"  
"Did she call you?"  
"Of course she called me! You weren't answering her calls and she was freaked out"  
"Sorry" He paused a moment before continuing softly, "I can't give her what she want's Danny. She deserves better"  
"I know you have commitment issues…"  
Steve interrupted him, "That's an understatement my friend"  
Danny chuckled, "Well I'm glad to hear you're aware of your issues with trust and commitment, now what are you going to do to correct it? She's a good woman Steve…don't mess this up, you need her"

A smile crossed Steve's face and tears again slipped from his eyes, "That's the same thing Freddie told me shortly before he died…don't mess this up"  
Danny stated softly, "He sounds like a great guy….and smart too! I wish I could have known him partner"  
"I wish so too Danny"  
"So are you going to call her and beg her forgiveness?"  
"There's so much more to it D"  
"Tell me"  
"So what are you, my new shrink?"  
"It's part of my job description…keeping you happy and sane"  
"I think you need a raise"  
"I couldn't agree more! Now spill it Superman"  
"She betrayed me Danny"  
"What are you talking about, how"  
"Shortly after Doris returned Catherine witnessed her interrogating, or should I say torturing a mobster. He had tracked her to the Island, and Doris asked Cath not to tell me about it…..and she didn't. Then after Doris's house was broken into and the microfiche was stolen, Cath told me. I forgave her Danny but damn it hurts. It's just one more thing, one more person I can't trust"  
"Why didn't she tell you?"  
"Doris gave her a sob story about just getting back into my life and not wanting to worry me"  
"And you can't understand that?"  
"It's not about understanding it Danny, she should never have kept that from me. You don't keep things from people you love"  
"WHOA buddy…..are you kidding me? I wasn't planning on talking about this right now, but what about you leaving for Washington and letting us think you were DEAD?"

"It's not the same thing Danny"  
"No, you're right…..what you did was much worse!" Danny's voice was rising and he was waving his hands around in typical 'Danno rant' fashion "When you left me that damn 'Dear Danno' letter and disappeared for two weeks, you said you'd never do that again….."  
Steve interrupted…"I didn't leave you a letter this time"  
Danny was not amused as he continued, "Do you not have a clue as to what you put us all through? I was planning your fucking funeral Steve! I had to call Joe and tell him that you were dead. I was waiting until they 'recovered your body' before calling Mary, or letting your Mom know, but do you know how painful it was to even THINK about making those calls? You're right Steven, you should never keep things from people you love" Danny stood and without saying another word he moved down the hallway to the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

**5050505050505050505050505050**

When he returned a few minutes later Steve stood to greet him saying, "Danny…"  
Danny held up his hand, "No, no I was out of line man. Now wasn't the time for me to lay into you…..I'm sorry"  
"Actually buddy I think it was the perfect time. I needed to be put in my place. I'm so sorry"  
Danny moved to his friend and they embraced. It felt good for both of them and once they sat back down Steve spoke first, "I went alone because I didn't want to put you in danger"  
"I know that, and I love you for caring so much, but Steve….you can't do this anymore. We're partners but more importantly, you're the best friend I've got in this world…..you have to trust me"

"It's not that I don't trust you Danno, I trust you with my life…...I just don't want to see you hurt"  
"Then we have a real problem my friend because in our line of work there's a real possibility that could happen"  
"I know Danny…of course I know that" He paused briefly, "I'm so tired of losing everyone I love…it seems like everyone I care about either dies or betrays me"  
They talked for a long time about Steve's Dad sending him away. They talked about Nick Taylor, Governor Jameson, Jenna Kaye, Joe and Doris. And now Catherine…

Danny listened intently, hearing the pain in his friend's voice before responding softly, "Steve, you know Nick Taylor was corrupted by the all mighty dollar. Jameson was power hungry and got into bed with Wo-Fat. Jenna…I know it hurts babe, but she was trying to save her fiancé. As far as Joe and Doris go…yes, they betrayed you but they did what they felt they had to do to keep you, Mary and your Dad safe"

"Danny, they may as well have put the fucking bullet in my Dad's brain! He sent us away to keep us safe and he spent the rest of his life searching for Mom's 'killers'….and eventually he got too close to the truth"

"Hey buddy, I'm with you. I just want you to try to see things through their perspective and understand that they both love you very much. It wasn't easy for them to keep up this charade all those years. It wasn't easy for Doris to walk away from her family and be on the run for twenty years, you know that"

"I want to trust her Danny…but it's so hard and then she turns Cath on me"  
"She didn't 'turn Cath'. Babe, Catherine is devoted to you. She didn't want to hurt you and she made a mistake…that's all it was….a mistake"  
"I can't trust anyone Danno…."  
"Well thanks a lot partner"  
"I'm sorry….you know what I mean"  
"Steve McGarrett, I can PROMISE YOU that I will NEVER, EVER betray your trust or our friendship"  
Steve smiled and holding out his hand, Danny grasped it tightly, "Thanks buddy and I PROMISE YOU that I will NEVER, EVER take off on ANY search or mission again without telling you where I'm going"  
Danny smiled back at him, "Good…yeah that's really good"

Steve grinned, "I really feel like shit Danno"  
"I'm not surprised. You drank a hell of a lot and by the way, you look like shit too"  
"I'm really hungry"  
"Let's move to the kitchen and I'll fix you a famous 'Gracie's spinach frittata'"  
"Yeah, well try to not burn my house down this time alright?" Steve stated, referring to a few months earlier when he had returned from maneuvers to find his house filled with smoke as a result of Danny's first attempt at the frittata.  
"Come on, it was just a little smoke!"

Steve went to shower as Chef Daniel retreated to the kitchen intent on creating a culinary masterpiece!  
A short time later Steve was enjoying the frittata, an English Muffin and coffee. He had to admit that Danny had perfected the recipe. After they ate they moved down to the water's edge to watch the sunrise. They sat quietly for a while sipping coffee until Steve spoke, "The nightmares have been so bad Danno, so intense. I'm afraid to even close my eyes" He told Danny more about Freddie and Chad and he told him about the mission in which he lost David Pappas.  
Steve talked and cried about each of the brother's he had lost, and Danny did exactly what was needed…he simply listened.

Hours passed before Steve said, "Danny…thank you brother. Thank you for your love, thank you for your trust. Thank you for sharing your life and your beautiful little angel with me. Your family is my family and I don't know what I would do without you"

"When you showed up at my door that first day and told me I was working for you and I had no choice in the matter, I hated you. I was miserable every moment that I wasn't spending with Grace. You changed my life Steve, both personally and professionally. Our 5-0 team is doing great things and I have a newfound purpose. Thank you for YOUR love and YOUR trust and don't ever forget….I will always be there for you…..always"

Steve's recovery went well from that day forward and he was able to beat the Meth and the pain meds with the love and support of his Five-0 Ohana. Steve reconciled with Catherine and continued his therapy sessions with the Navy Doctor.  
The entire team was back on the job on schedule and working hard to maintain law and order in their Hawaiian paradise.

********* And so the story, turned novel finally ends. I hope you've enjoyed it and I would really appreciate any final comments. Thanks for reading and I'll be back soon….. I want to give a final THANK YOU to SuperSealSteve for giving me the initial idea for the addiction storyline…I hope that you're happy with how I wrote it **********


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